The End of Solomon Grundy

J.J.: Hello everybody! How's it hangin'?

Yuki: Go screw yourself.

J.J.: Yuki's in a good mood! I need my cam recorder!

Yuki: Don't fuck with me.

Littlekely: He reminds me of Zeus.

Shuichi: Wha? What are you talking about?

Hiro: The ancient Greek God.

K: He was one hell of a player. Talk about humping anything that has two mountains and a rain forest.

Littlekely: J.J., you know Zeus from "Die Hard 3"?

J.J.: … Oh yeah! He was very sensitive about his name since he was black. He said, "Zeus, alright! My name is Zeus! Like Mount Olympus! Father of Apollo! Don't-fuck-with-me-or-I'll-shove-a-lightening-bolt-up-your-ass! ZEUS!" I laugh every time!

Yuki: …

Shuichi: Yuki?

Hiro: I think he's disgusted.

Littlekely: I feel bad for him, actually. Being around you 24/7.

J.J.: It's not 24/7! I see them 17/7!

Hiro: She actually did the math?

Shuichi: -holding up fingers-

Fuji: I wonder if they are distantly related.

Littlekely: I doubt it. Shuichi is way smarter.

J.J.: Could we get on with the story please? Someone can end up dead later on…

Littlekely: …

Shuichi: J-J.J. doesn't own Gravitation or Godchild…Yuki! I'm scared!

Yuki: …-sweat drops-

Fuji: I think I'm going to lose my mind at the age of 16.

K: You are sixteen.

Fuji: Proves my point.

K: …

Hiro: Roll it please Mr. Sakano.

Sakano: -trembling-

J.J.: Why is he always like that?

Littlekely: He went on a roller coaster when he was four years old.

J.J.: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT ASSHOLE!

Littlekely: Why are we still talking? START THE GODDAMN STORY!

I once knew a man who dies in a week. His name was Solomon Grundy.

On Monday, he is born.

On Tuesday, he is christened.

On Wednesday, he gets married.

On Thursday, he falls ill.

On Friday, he gets worse.

On Saturday, he dies.

On Sunday, …

Then it starts…all over again.

******

Tuesday

******

I have a psycho in my house and he keeps staring at me with those gigantic purple eyes of his! Yuki sat uncomfortably with the lost kid named "Shuichi" staring right at his with a faint blush on his cheeks. Yuki couldn't look him in the eye but he could still feel the gaze from the girly-boy. It's surprising this guy is a guy! He looks so slender and he looks so soft…Wait. What the fuck am I doing? That's just disgusting.

"Are you feeling well Yuki-san?" Shuichi asked. Yuki felt himself grow hot and flustered. I really need to get out of here…I don't even know how old he is. Okay. I'm losing my mind. I need to get out of here. Yuki's eyes happened to fall on his alarm clock. 1:42.

"Shit! I've been gone for hours!" Yuki said looking at the stupid alarm clock. You'll get yours master of time! And I swear I'll kill Murphy! "Do you know anything about yourself?" Yuki asked becoming annoyed and feeling a migraine coming. Shuichi thought for a moment and then he shook his head.

"I'm so sorry to inconvenience you. If you need to go, I will stay here if you must go." Shuichi said with a slight frown. Yuki just stared at him. Am I supposed to be affected by that sight? … Never mind.

"You don't mind if I leave for a couple of hours?" Yuki asked looking around for another work outfit. Shuichi shook his head and smiled from ear to ear.

"I will be fine. All I need to do is be silent and stay still, correct?" Shuichi asked. Yuki's sweat dropped.

"Could you do me a favor?" Yuki asked. Shuichi's eyes shined brightly.

"Of course! I would do anything to repay you for your generosity!" Shuichi said and grabbed onto Yuki's hand. Yuki yanked it quicker than he realized and tried to cover it up.

"Um…could you stop talking so formal? You're kind of freaking me out…your majesty." Yuki said sarcastically.

"Um…can I help…Yuki?" Shuichi asked and Yuki smirked.

"Better." Yuki said. "I'll be back in two hours." My shift should be over by then. Yuki left out of the apartment leaving Shuichi with nothing to do.

"Phew! What should I do while Yuki is away?" Shuichi asked and then looked at his coat. He forgot his coat. I'll return it to him! Shuichi then stopped. Technically, he did not say that I couldn't go anywhere, so, I'll go to him and be helpful to my savior!

******

"If I buy something, can I get a date, sexy?" A woman asked. Yuki sighed. Damn Tatsuha! "No badmouthing the customers" my ass! I'd rather be with the queer than with these people…Shuichi huh…his touch felt way too good I over reacted. He must feel awful right now…Oh well. I don't give a shit!

"The brothel is in the next town, bitch. I don't go for older women." Yuki said and went to get his jacket from the staff lounge. Shit I forgot it at home! Dammit!

"Yuki! Where are you going?" Tatsuha asked.

"I need to get my jacket. Oh and can I have a favor?" Yuki asked.

"No."

"I need the week off." Yuki stated.

"Why?"

"I…need to recuperate for something. I'll be back first thing next week Wednesday." Yuki stated and walked out of the door.

"I take back my raise!" Tatsuha called and smiled. "Have you found someone and I don't know about it? Nice, Eiri." Tatsuha said.

******

"Hahh. Hahh. Hahh. I need…to…get to…Yuki…" Shuichi panted as he rested on a nearby bench. He needs his jacket. It's really cold out here.

"Hey, are you okay?" A person asked. Shuichi looked up and came face-to-face with a teddy bear.

"Yes, I'm quite well. Um could you show me to this place please?" Shuichi asked as he handed the man a card that read "Cat Café". The man smiled.

"Of course! I know this city quite well! By the way, my name's Ryuichi!" Ryuichi said. Shuichi smiled. I made a new friend. Unbelievable.

"My name is Shuichi Shindou." Shuichi said with a bright smile. Ryuichi smiled back.

"This is Kumaguro! Say hi Kumaguro!" Ryuichi stuffed the bear into Shuichi's face. Shuichi's face dropped. He acts so immature. It is so funny. Shuichi began to laugh.

"Will you help me get to Yuki?" Shuichi asked. Ryuichi just smiled.

"Of course! Just leave it to me!" Ryuichi said with a smile. Shuichi started to walk again but his chest began to hurt. I need to ignore this pain and find Yuki. I must…repay him.

******

What's wrong with this picture here? Yuki's apartment was organized for a male. Everything was in place. No dirt on the floor, no books out of place, everything in order…but something was missing. What could it be? Just guess.

"Where the hell did that brat go?" Yuki asked no one in particular. Yuki looked every where for his jacket and couldn't find it either. Being the smart ass he was all the pieces fell into place. That's so fucking stupid! He's in no condition to go anywhere with my jacket! If he ruins it, I'll kill him! Yuki stormed out of his apartment out to find his jacket thief.

******

Shuichi was panting by the time they arrived at the café. Ryuichi looked at Shuichi and smiled.

"Well, here we are! Cat Café! Hey, are you okay?" Ryuichi asked putting his arm around Shuichi. Shuichi cringed from Ryuichi touching a sensitive spot. He was perspiring rapidly. "Hey are you sick? We should take you to the hospital!" Ryuichi said.

"N-No! I must find Yuki!" Shuichi said but collapsed to the floor.

"Hey man!" Ryuichi said and felt his forehead. "Man! Kumaguro! He's hot to the touch! What should I do Kuma?" Ryuichi asked crying. He listened to his stuffed bear and then he dried his tears. "Yeah, I shouldn't be crying like this. I should help our friend!" Ryuichi said. He picked Shuichi up and began to walk to the hospital.

******

"Help! Help! I'm no doctor! I need help!" Ryuichi yelled as he carried an unconscious and sweaty Shuichi threw the doors of a hospital. A nurse came over with an exasperated look.

"Oh my goodness! What happened?" The nurse asked taking Shuichi's temperature.

"I don't know! We were walking and he started breathing heavily and he fainted and I don't know what to do!" Ryuichi burst into tears. "Wahhhh!" The nurse's sweat dropped to find a grown man crying.

"He's way too hot. Get me ice blankets and a free ICU! Stat!" The nurse yelled and put Shuichi on a gurney and put an oxygen mask on his face. Ryuichi kept crying while they dragged Shuichi away to the emergency room.

"Shuichi! Kumaguro!" Ryuichi cried.

******

Hack Roots song "Silly-Go-Round" begins to play.

What the hell? Who the hell is calling me? Yuki answered his phone and almost dropped.

"You're calling form where?" Yuki asked.

"The hospital. I'm sorry to call you on your personal phone but we have a person here and we have no records of him. However, he keeps mumbling your name and we decided to call you. Can I please trouble you to pay the hospital a visit?" A nurse said.

"Yes. I'll be there soon." Yuki hung up the phone and began to run towards the hospital. What the hell is wrong with you Shuichi? Why would you do that you dumb ass!

******

Yuki stormed into the hospital only to be bombarded with nurses.

"Mr. Eiri Yuki! Thank goodness you're here!" A nurse said and grabbed Yuki's arm; dragging him towards the elevator. "What is the patient's name?" She asked; taking out a clip board to answer the empty questions. Yuki's sweat dropped.

"Um…Shuichi Shindou." Yuki said. The nurse quickly jotted down the information.

"Do you know his age?" The nurse asked. Yuki shook his head. How old is he? "We have an educated guess that he is around the ages of 19 and 20." The nurse said. More of a nineteen. They finally arrived to the forth floor. "He has awful injuries. He has a deep cut in his thigh, a cut above his eyebrow, and has a cross shaped cut embedded into his left hand. We gave him 46 stitches but we weren't able to close the wound on his hand." The nurse said.

"Um…" Yuki looked at the nurse.

"What?" Yuki asked as the elevator took longer than expected.

"Mr. Shindou has a heart disease." The nurse said. Yuki was barely paying attention. All he wondered about was what room Shuichi was in.

"What room is he in?" Yuki asked.

"Room 436. He's out of the ICU so you can visit him." The nurse said and walked away. Yuki nearly ran down the hall and stopped in front of door 436 and opened it. There was Shuichi, bounded with bandages on his head and body and an IV feeding into his arm. Yuki walked and sat beside Shuichi and stared at his features. Even when he was covered in bandages, he still looked angelic and adorable. Yuki blushed and covered his face in his hands. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Y-Yuki?" Shuichi mumbled. Yuki jumped and faced a smiling Shuichi. "I'm sorry to burden you." Shuichi said. Yuki loomed over Shuichi and punched him in the head. "Ow!" Shuichi moaned.

"What the hell were you trying to do?! You didn't even have a jacket and it's freezing outside! What the fuck were you thinking?" Yuki exploded. Shuichi held his head in pain.

"I'm sorry! I just wanted to bring you your over coat so that you won't get cold. I saw that you forgot it when you left so I wanted to return it to you. I just wanted to help." Shuichi said with a blush across his cheeks. Yuki sighed. He bent over Shuichi and cupped his cheek.

"Just use your head from now on." Yuki said. Shuichi smiled and leaned into Yuki's lips to kiss him. As he pressed his lips to Yuki's, Yuki stared at Shuichi with wide eyes. Shuichi's lip licked across Yuki's bottom lip before he broke the kiss.

"I love you Yuki." Shuichi said as he held Yuki close to himself. Yuki still tried to process the kiss he had just received. He just said he loved me? After two days? "I really love you Yuki." Shuichi said. Yuki removed Shuichi's hands to look him in the eyes.

"You're a brat, you know that?" Yuki said. Shuichi smiled.

"So I'm told, only by you though." Shuichi said. Yuki scoffed.

"You're annoying. I'm going to get some coffee." Yuki said but was stopped by Shuichi's hands.

"Don't go Yuki. I can't stay here. I don't want to be in hospital by myself." Shuichi said with tears in his eyes. Yuki chewed on his bottom lip.

"What do you want me to do? You have a heart disease. You have to stay in the hospital." Yuki said and tried to remove Shuichi's grip but the runt was stronger than he looked. "Let go." Yuki ordered.

"I will not. Take me home with you Yuki, please. If I'm going to die, I want to die with you." Shuichi said. Yuki flinched from that remark.

"You hardly know me!" Yuki yelled. Shuichi smiled.

"I know the Yuki who saved me that Monday evening. The Yuki that I fell in love with is in this room. Please, don't leave me here to die by myself." Shuichi said. Yuki sighed. I'm probably going to get arrested by this. Yuki took out his cell phone and pressed speed dial. "What are you doing?" Shuichi asked.

"I'm getting you out of here." Yuki said.

"Where the hell have you been Eiri!? I need you back here now!" Tatsuha yelled into the phone. Yuki tried to prevent his vein from popping.

"Look. I want you to bring some extra clothes. Try to borrow some from Kagome. She won't need them from her wardrobe." Yuki said.

"No need." A voice said. Yuki hung up the phone and turned to see a grown man holding a bear.

"Mr. Ryuichi! Hello!" Shuichi said peering around Yuki. Ryuichi saw Shuichi and ran over to him and embraced.

"Shuichi! I was so worried about you! Don't ever do that again you hear me? I'm so happy you're okay! Kumaguro is happy too! Right Kuma?" Ryuichi asked his bear. Yuki and Shuichi's sweat dropped. Yuki grabbed Ryuichi by the collar and threw him by the door.

"You were saying?" Yuki asked.

"Oh yeah! I have extra clothes that will fit Shuichi! I use them to escape propaganda!" Ryuichi said.

"Really? Wonderful! Let's go!" Shuichi said.

"Ryuichi give me a minute while I get them!" Ryuichi said as he ran out the room and down the hall.

"Why would you fall in love with someone like me?" Yuki asked. You're the last one I want to fall in love with me.

"I don't know. Does it matter?" Shuichi asked.

"We're both guys. Don't you think it's a little out of proportion?" Yuki asked. Shuichi shook his head.

"Love isn't based on a scale. I don't care if you are male or female. I fell in love with Eiri Yuki." Shuichi said with a smile. Yuki's sweat dropped.

"So what? You want to be my lover before you die?" Yuki asked. Shuichi shook his head.

"I want to be your lover while you are still feeling." Shuichi said. Yuki gasped.

"What do you mean?" Yuki asked.

"I had this feeling that you were really sad but I have no idea why. I believe you'll tell me all in due time." Shuichi said. Yuki said nothing and turned his back to Shuichi. Just then, Ryuichi walked into the room.

"Here we go! Kumaguro misplaced them, but we found them!" Ryuichi said with a smile. Yuki stared at Shuichi from the corner of his eye. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I lead a regular life?

******

I once knew a man who dies in a week. His name was Solomon Grundy.

On Monday, he is born

On Tuesday, he is christened…

J.J.: I really think I'm genius.

Yuki: You're a fucking idiot.

Shuichi: You guys always fight. Try to get along.

J.J.: Tell that to Solomon Grundy over there.

Yuki: What did you call me you whore!?

J.J.: You bastard. –starts fighting with Yuki-

Shuichi: PLEASE STOP!

Hiro: I think they enjoy fighting.

Littlekely: Yeah well, at least J.J's not hitting me.

K: Review please!

Littlekely: I totally forgot you even existed.

Fuji: What about me?

Littlekely: Who are you again?

Fuji: -wallows in self-pity-

Hiro: Are you guys still alive?

Yuki: I'll show you the true meaning of pain!

J.J.: Yeah? Just try it dickweed!

Littlekely: Nope. Still fighting.

Sakano: How will this affect NG productions?

K: I think you need to go drinking one day Sakano.

J.J.: Oh yeah! I want to check out this website! It called . They have these really cool items on sale I just have to have. Like this poster:

Yuki: …

Shuichi: …

Yuki: I quit. Don't call me or ask me to work for you again. You're really going to give me another ulcer.

J.J.: You already are one retarded bitch!

Yuki: What was that pornographic asshole?

Censored

Shuichi: -turns blue and faints-

Fuji: -throws up and faints-

K: -nods in approval-

Sakano: -faints-

Littlekely: I really need a new job. Review and…just wait a couple years for J.J. to recover.