Scotland x France


- ...then I drop the bathrobe -and I pretend it wasn't on purpose of course- and-

- No please Francis, stop, it's awful.

Francis looked up from the pile of clothes he was placing in his suitcase.

- You think it's a bad plan?

- I think it's the worst plan ever and you'll make my brother run away and cry and it will haunt him forever. Would serve him right but that's besides the point.

- Then give me an idea!

- I'm not the romance expert, you are!

- Oui but you are the Alasdair expert!

Arthur sighed and slammed his suitcase shut. He was already regretting his offer. His family was going on their yearly trip to the mountains to ski and try to murder each other with snow, and his bestfriend/worst enemy was tagging along. Here was the thing though. His friend was completely and absolutely infatuated with his older brother, Alasdair. How could anyone even want that mutt, he had no idea, but here they were. And Arthur was convinced his brother was at least a little interested in his friend. This holiday was the perfect occasion to get these two together so, hopefully, Francis would stop acting like a high-schooler with a crush (in spite of being twenty years old and his crush being twenty-four).

- Just...I don't know, do whatever, but nothing over the top. If you do anything embarrassing, trust me that you will never live it down. My family is the worse. And do you really need that many clothes? Are you planning on changing thrice a day or what?


How could two people be so oblivious to each other's crush, Arthur would never know. Especially when one of them was a specialist when it came to finding out who has a crush on who. And yet he couldn't see how painfully obvious it was that his red haired mutt of a brother was into him?

- I suggest we abandon them both out in the snow until they make out or something. We could just lock the door…

- Given how they are right now, they will probably freeze to death…

Arthur scowled and sipped on his tea, glancing out the window. They were trying. They really were. Everyone was rooting for them and these assholes just wouldn't make out already. His father specifically asked the two to cut some more wood for the fire and yet… Nothing. However they all could see them staring at each other until the other looked back and then looking away. Siobhan looked like she was about to go and smash their heads together already.

- Maybe that's the solution though, the usually quiet Owen spoke up.

The whole family turned towards him in surprise. The older brother didn't speak much, even less to suggest actual murder.

- In their rooms, I mean!

- I'm not sure killing people in their room is much more humane than outside.

- No! We could freeze them in their room!

- Still murder.

- Stop being so daft! We have one spare bedroom right? And access to the heating system panel control. So if we turn down the heat in their bedrooms completely… They will look for a heated room… And if only the spare room is heated - aside from ours, I'm not freezing for them- they will have to share!

Silence welcomed his plan as they all thought about it. Would it work? Wasn't it a bit extreme?

- What if they decide to keep being stupid and one of them stays in a cold room and leave the heated room to the other?

- I don't think Francis would let someone else sleep in the cold while he get a heated room… And I think Alasdair knows a golden opportunity when presented with one.

Owen glanced out the window again and winced as his brother was actively avoiding Francis' gaze.

- … Alright maybe he doesn't but he wouldn't let Francis sleep in the cold either. Besides it's the only plan we have and we can't take anymore of this.


Francis woke up shivering. His bedroom was a bit cold when he got in but he chalked it up to not closing the door this morning and went to bed. Obviously something was up because it was now freezing. He tried to just wrap the blanket tighter around himself and go back to sleep but it was definitely too cold. He tentatively slipped a leg out and searched for his slippers. He got up with the blanket still wrapped around himself and went out in the corridor… Which was cold too. Patting the walls in the dark, he soon found the doorknob to Arthur's room and let himself in.

- Hey, Arthur, are you…

He fell quiet. The room was warm. And Arthur seemed deep asleep. Frowning, he closed the door behind himself. Was his bedroom and the corridor the only places the heating system wasn't working anymore? He wandered a bit in the house, though he didn't dare to enter the other Kirkland's bedrooms. Everywhere was cold too… What the hell was going on? Defeated, he started going up the stairs to go back to his cold bedroom… Only to end up facing Alasdair.

- Is it cold downstairs too? the redhead immediately asked.

- Uh, yeah… Your bedroom too?

- Aye… 't is weird, I checked everyone's room and it was fine. Except mine… And the rest of the house. And yer bedroom too obviously.

They sighed in concert. A cold night was waiting for them.

- … What about the spare room?

- There is nobody in it, why would it be heated?

- I don't know, thought we should check. This whole thing is fishy if ye ask me…

It had the nasty smell of a shitty Kirkland plan. And if the spare bedroom was heated… it would only confirm his suspicions. Francis followed him without asking questions and as fate would have it… the spare bedroom was heated. The redhead let out a chuckle, wondering which one of the twisted minds of his family imagined all of this.


Arthur definitely wasn't sleeping and he probably wasn't the only one as he heard Siobhan get up when he was about to too, after hearing the two jackasses finally get in the spare bedroom. Now they just had to hope they wouldn't just stay awkwardly on each side of the bed avoiding each other…

He joined Siobhan who had her ear stuck against the door… And was frowning deeply. He frowned too and got closer to hear what was going on inside.

- … tell them.

- Shame, it was so much fun.

Loud chuckle.

- Siobhan physically cringed whenever you looked at me!

- And Arthur was right about tae strangle ye, oh Lord, his face!

- And when you tried to take my hand at the table and I avoided it… Owen was right about to cry!

The laughing made Siobhan push the door open and storm inside. The two men were in the bed, cuddling, way too close for two guys who just got in the same bed after almost a week of avoiding the each other's eyes.

- When?! his sister asked, furious.

The two bastards, however, seemed to find the whole situation extremely funny.

- The first day, actually. But we thought it would be funny tae entertain ye guys.

- You bastards!

She grabbed the decorative pillow on a nearby armchair and threw it at them. They quickly retaliated with their own pillows and Arthur found it wiser to exit the battlefield. He walked into Owen who was looking quite calm in spite of the stream of yelled insults coming out of the room.

- You knew, the blond accused with narrowed eyes.

The older man simply smiled and shrugged before going back to his own bedroom.