N/A: This is a Mer/Der story, so no matter who the father is, I am not changing the pairing.
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It was late that evening when Derek finally made it to the hospital. His shift had ended hours ago and then all he wanted was to go home and sleep. Everything changed in his plans and life as driving back home he passed past a stopped car and noticed a woman resting her forehead against the wheel, looking as if she was unconscious. He stopped his car and from that moment, all he wanted was to know that mother and daughter were doing well.
"Hi," he said, leaning over the counter at the nurse behind it. "A woman and her newborn have been brought here around an hour ago."
"The one from the Southport St.?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered immediately. "Are they here?" he asked her impatiently.
"Yes, they are," she said and looked in the computer. "Meredith Shepherd," she read. "She is in room 2416 and her condition is stable. Congratulation, Dr. Shepherd," she told Derek with a wide smile.
Derek was staring at her, confused. "Thanks," he mumbled and turned around, walking slowly towards room 2416. She had the last name as his. He knew his last name wasn't unique, but the coincidence was bemusing.
Derek found Meredith's room easily. He saw through the small window of the door her frame laying in bed and a nurse beside her bed. Derek opened the door slowly and sneaked his head inside to see that Meredith was sleeping.
The nurse looked up at him as she heard the door opening and smiled.
"How is she?" he asked her in whisper, walking towards Meredith's bed. It was dark inside the room, but he could still watch her face as she slept.
"Exhausted, but healthy," the nurse answered, coming beside Derek. Both of them were now watching her.
"And the baby?" he asked, without looking away from Meredith.
"She's healthy too. We're keeping her in the incubator this night. Let her sleep because the baby may ask for her first meal soon," the nurse told him and then she made her way out of the room.
Derek walked to her bedside and sat down at the edge of a chair, continuing to watch her. She looked worried as she slept, lines crossing her forehead. He didn't know anything about her besides her name, but the last hours' course hadn't been easy and that must have been the reason for her disquieted sleep. He drew the blanket upper and smiled as she moaned softly and her forehead smoothed a little. Then he stood up and walked slowly to the window. It was night already and the rain was still pouring badly outside. He leaned his side against the window watching the city lights through the rain. Now that he knew both mother and daughter were fine, he had all the reasons to go home in peace, but this thought was far from him. Something was keeping him there.
There was a couch beside the window; small, but looking like being the only furniture comfortable enough to lie on. He propped his legs over the armrest and his head against the other side of the couch, facing Meredith.
He had just closed his eyes when he thought he heard a snore. He opened his eyes and focused on listening. There was again another quiet snore. Derek chuckled quietly as he realized it was Meredith's snore. He couldn't help but keep on smiling as he closed his eyes, drifting to sleep with the sound.
Later, a thunder sounded loudly outside and made his eyes snap open. He stood up and stretched his body, flexing his neck and shoulders because of the uncomfortable position he had had on the couch. Derek walked over to the window, leaning against it and watching how the rain was washing the city. It was dark and silence outside the hospital, just now and then the silence being broken by the siren of an ambulance. Then the light flicked on.
"Who are you?" Meredith's husky voice asked. She looked confused at the stranger that was standing in her hospital room in the middle of the night. She stood half-upright, wincing as she felt the soreness.
Her unexpected waking made Derek stir. He turned and looked at her for a moment, confused by her question. "I'm Derek," he said softly as he started walking towards her bed.
Meredith was still confused as he told her his name, but as he got closer and came into the light, she started remembering his kind eyes and his warm smile. "Oh," she said quietly, remembering.
Derek smiled and stopped beside her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked her.
Meredith shrugged, still confused by the reason of Derek's presence in her hospital room in the middle of the night. "Tired," she mumbled.
"That's understandable," he chuckled.
As Derek's chuckle died off, the silence felt awkwardly for both of them. He knew what she was thinking, but he didn't have a precise answer to give her and she was curios and confused at the same time to find out his answer.
"Thank you," she managed to smile faintly, struggling to look honest. Maybe that was what he was expecting from her. But was he there just to hear her appreciations for his help, she asked herself.
"No reason to thank me," he smiled. "I'm glad I could help you."
Meredith didn't know what else to do but smile. If that wasn't the reason, then what was he doing there?
"What are you doing here?" she finally put the question.
Derek smiled in attempt of hiding his embarrassment. "I wanted to make to sure that you and the baby are alright," he said quietly, but he knew that wasn't a good explanation.
"I am alright," Meredith answered, now suddenly worried. "I didn't get to see my baby yet though," she muttered.
Derek saw in her eyes the fear and understood. "She's alright as well," he said quickly, denying any reason for her to be worried.
Now Meredith was curious again and Derek saw that in her eyes. "You want to know why I am still here?" he asked and Meredith nodded. He chuckled, rubbing his nape. "I was feeling a little too tired to go home, so…" it wasn't the real reason, but it wasn't a fake one either.
"Ok," she nodded. The answer seemed reasonable.
Meredith laid back down under the blanket and rolled to a side, facing him. They looked into each other's eyes into an even more awkward silence than before.
"Go back to sleep," he told her as he saw her yawning. "I'm sorry if I scared you."
Meredith just shook her head reassuringly.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked her.
Meredith thought about it for a moment. He didn't look like he wanted to leave. She was too tired to wonder why, so she shrugged. "It's late," she mumbled. Then she noticed his discreet sigh of relief. She still didn't understood why, so she closed her eyes, drifting to sleep instantly.
Derek watched her sleeping for a moment and then turned off the light. He was wondering now if it wouldn't be better for him to leave. He didn't want to seem dangerous to Meredith.
Now that he was sure that Meredith and the baby were alright, Derek decided it would be better to leave.
He took his jacket and walked quietly to the door, opening it carefully not to wake her up again. He closed back the door and put on the jacket as he started walking towards the elevators. Passing by a hall, Derek stopped suddenly. He watched the hall that was leading to the nursery, unsure of what he wanted to do next. He had seen the mother, so he felt like he should see the baby too. There wasn't too much medical staff on the neonatology floor at that late hour and he was a doctor so he could have access there without any trouble. Derek walked along the hall until he reached to another nurses' station and across from it was the nursery.
He looked around to check who was there and smiled, slightly uncomfortable, as he met the nurse's smile from behind the desk.
"Are you here to see baby Shepherd?" she asked, coming to him. Both of them looked through the window at the babies.
"Yes…" he said. "If it's possible."
"Why wouldn't it be?" the nurse chuckled as she opened the door. "Follow me," she said, walking inside. She handed him a gown.
Derek hesitated briefly, but followed her, dressing the gown. The nurse stopped beside a crib. "We just got her out of the incubator."
Derek watched the tiny baby, with her pink flannel hat almost falling off her head, her hands rolled into tiny fists. "She's healthy, isn't she?" he asked, without taking his eyes from her.
"She's perfectly healthy," the nurse said. "And very pretty," she added, smiling at Derek.
"She is," Derek agreed, smiling as he reached down slowly to touch her hand.
"You can hold her," the nurse said.
Derek looked up at her, surprised. He wasn't passing as the baby's father, was he? "I think it would be better if the mother will hold her first," he said.
"Oh, you are right," the nurse smiled. "She should wake up soon anyway for her first meal," she said, smiling down at the baby. "You can just sit here with her," she told him, smiling friendly at him.
"Ok," Derek nodded, smiling at her and followed her with his eyes until she left the room. He looked back down at the baby and instantly his smile became wider. He watched the baby, listening to her soft sleeping sound. Despite his rich experience as doctor, he was still amazed by the miracle of life and this baby girl wasn't any baby; she was the baby he had helped to come into the world inside of a car.
Derek touched her chest with his fingertip, carefully as if she was so fragile that she could break. He felt her chest breathing against his finger, her heartbeat tickling it. Derek caressed her cheek, again gently and barely touching her. Her skin felt so soft and warm beneath his finger like anything he had touched before.
The baby girl frowned and started fussing, wriggling her fists in air. Derek touched her fist, smiling as the girl clutched on his finger.
"Welcome into the world, little princess," he whispered, already mesmerized by the warm feeling that had started growing inside of him. "Your mommy is very lucky to have you," he continued talking to her in whisper, bending closer to her. The baby just wriggled a little the hand she was holding his finger with, probably as answer to his compliment.
Derek watched her a for another minute, wondering if she had her mother's eyes, if she was looking more like her father and how it felt to cradle her to his chest. All the babies were charming in their personal ways, but to Derek, this baby girl was the most wonderful thing. Probably he felt like that because of the circumstances she had been born in; probably she had something special that made him fall for her. Unwillingly, Derek decided he should tell her goodbye. He shook her hand lightly and touched her hand with his lips, kissing her softly. As he tried to pull his finger from her grip, he noticed how tightly she was holding on him.
"I like you too, but you should let go of me," he whispered to her, chuckling quietly. He tried to pull his finger from her hand again, gently not to disturb her sleep, but her grip was too firm.
Derek sighed, uncomfortable with the situation. A few hours old baby was holding him hostage.
The baby girl calmed down and continued to sleep soundly. She turned her face to Derek's hand, still holding on his finger, mouthed something mutually and slept.
Derek couldn't help but smile at her cute image. He crouched down beside her crib, propping his chin on its edge and watched the baby. He waved her hand slowly, caressing her cheek with his finger. Suddenly he felt the urge of holding her into his arms. Derek stood up, her hand still holding his finger, and looked around the room, hesitating. Other babies were sleeping peacefully in the nursery and there was no grown-up around.
He leaned down to her and whispered. "Do you think your mommy will be upset?"
The baby opened her mouth and mouthed mutually again. Derek chuckled quietly at their imaginary conversation. 'She won't know,' he thought. 'Besides, she owes me,' he continued, encouraging himself to pick the baby up.
He leaned over the crib and slid slowly a hand behind her, while he pulled the finger from her grip. The baby fussed and whimpered a little, but Derek hurried to calm her down. He rocked her back and forth, mumbling quietly a lullaby. The baby calmed down and kept on sleeping.
Derek didn't know how long he rocked her, but then the door opened and the same nurse walked inside.
"You couldn't help it," she whispered as she came to her.
"No," he smiled at her.
"That's all right," she smiled reassuringly. "But I think you should leave now," she whispered apologetically.
Derek looked at her, frowning displeased.
"I made an exception," she whispered.
Derek nodded reluctantly. He gave the baby a kiss and then he put her back down in her crib. "Welcome into the world," he whispered to her ear.
