"Grief is the price we pay for love." ~Queen Elizabeth II
Chapter 2- Laid to Rest Alice's POV
The funerals for the victims of the final battle started a few days after the war ended. People had started calling it the Battle of Hogwarts. I had attended each and every funeral. This included Colin Creevy, Lavender Brown, Tonks, and Fred. Fred's funeral was yesterday, and Tonks had been the day before.
Today was Remus's funeral. The last funeral I would have to attend. Harry planned it, but he ran everything by me. I would be the last one to speak, and I was dreading it.
I stared at myself in the full body mirror in front of me. My face looked much older than twenty-one. My face was sunken in, and my eyes were red and puffy from all the crying I had done. I had a deep red line tracing my jaw from where Greyback had shoved me into a pile of glass, and I had another line going from the outer corner of my eye to my lips from the same fall. Despite it being ten days after the battle, my lip was still busted.
I wore a long-sleeved black dress, with black leggings underneath, and black flats that greatly resembled ballerina slippers. I also wore the moon necklace Remus had given me when we first got together, and the bracelet Fred and George had given me for my 18th birthday when Harry gave them the money he won from the Triwizard Tournament.
Against my leg rested a messenger bag filled with clothes, books, my cauldron, my photo albums, camera, and my developing potion, some money, and a box filled with ingredients. It would help with my alibi until they learned the truth. The final thing I carried in that bag was a notebook filled with memories of Remus and Tonks that I would give to Andromeda for Teddy when he grew up.
I had decided that I would tell them I was moving to Italy. They all knew I was struggling, so it would be easy to pass off. Easier than having to admit to them what I planned on after the funeral. I planned on writing the note later, explaining everything, but for now, I would say goodbye to Remus.
I pulled up my left sleeve and tightly fastened my wand holster on my arm, and I was now ready to go. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and looked around the room. My eyes rested on a picture of my parents. They grinned back at me before my father turned and kissed my mother.
I smiled weakly before walking to the picture.
"Can't forget this," I said quietly to myself as I picked up the picture.
I tucked in away in my bag, and looked around the room one more time, before moving into the hall and down the stairs.
I made sure that all the lights were turned off before pausing in the living room. The house looked like I was simply going away for the day. I had left things behind. Things Harry and George could take, like jewelry, some books, and various other things that I couldn't fit in my bag. After one last glance, I flipped the lock and Apparated out of the living room.
The graveyard was empty and quiet. I was early. I paused and picked up four small rocks. I closed the rocks in both of my hands. The stones turned into four, dark red roses. I began walking through the various graves. I passed the coffin and stepped to the side.
"Hey, Freddie," I said quietly, kneeling in front of the grave. "This one is for you."
I straightened myself out and walked to the pair of graves that were directly behind Fred's, and where Remus's will be soon.
"Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad." I said, kneeling between their graves. "Take care of Freddie until I get up there, would you? It won't be long now."
I stood up again returned to the coffin.
Remus's eyes were closed now. He had the same peaceful look he had the last time I saw him. He still looked like he could be sleeping.
"Hey, Re," I said, putting a hand against his ice-cold cheek. "I want you to know, my decision to do this wasn't because of you, Freddie, Mum or Dad. I just don't know if I can live with what I've done. But I've brought you something."
I laid the rose on his chest.
"I still love you," I said, wiping the tear from my eye. "Even if you couldn't love me. But something good came out of leaving. You have a son. Harry will tell him all about you and Tonks."
I had never met Remus's son, Teddy. I stayed in the very back of Tonks's funeral, and I left as soon as I had given my condolences to Andromeda. At that time, Teddy had been with Harry.
"Alice?" Harry said quietly from behind me. I jumped and closed my eyes.
I turned to face him.
"Hey, Harry," I said, walking away from the coffin.
"How're you holding up? None of us have heard from you in the last couple of days."
I shrugged.
"I've been busy. Funerals in the day, and packing in the evening."
"Packing?" Harry asked, his eyes falling on the messenger bag around me. "Where are you going, Al?"
"I can't stay here," I said quietly. "I've decided to move to Italy."
His eyes widened.
"But I need you here," he said, pulling me into a hug.
"You're going to be okay, Harry. You have Ron and Hermione. They'll take care of you."
"Why are you leaving?" he asked, pulling back to look study my face.
"Because everything here is a reminder. Of those, I've lost, and those who I've taken."
"What about George?"
"You guys will take care of him for me, won't you?"
I saw the tears forming in Harry's eyes. I quickly caught one as it fell.
"No, Harry. Don't cry."
"Please, don't go, Al. We're all going to miss you."
I hugged him to me again. It was hard to remember he wasn't the same child I had met all those years ago. He had grown up.
"You've done a great job so far, Harry," I said into his shoulder. "You'll do great when I'm gone."
"Will you come back to visit? Italy is a long way from home."
"We'll see, Harry," I said.
I looked over his shoulder and saw the Weasleys and Hermione.
George stepped forward. He was holding a small box in his hands.
"Hey Ali," he said, looking between Harry and I. "What's all this talk about Italy?"
"We'll talk later," I promised.
"This is for you," he said, offering me the box.
I opened the box. Inside was a silver ring with a green oval alexandrite.
"George, it's beautiful," I said, smiling at him.
"Fred and I were going to give it to you for your birthday. I thought if I gave it to you now, it could brighten your mood for a little bit."
I smiled and took the ring from the box. I slid it onto my ring finger on my right hand. It fit perfectly.
"Thank you, George. I love it."
He smiled and pulled me into another tight hug.
"Fred picked it out. He said he didn't need your psychic abilities to know you'd love it."
"He was right."
"Did you not see us picking it out for you?"
I shook my head.
"I may have been searching for something for Voldemort."
He flinched at Voldemort's name.
"Alice," Molly said, coming up behind us. "Can you see the officiator? He should be here soon."
I closed my eyes, and I could see the minister holding the funeral walking through the gates. I opened my eyes and looked between Harry and George. "The officiator is here. He just came through the gates."
Everyone turned to the direction of the gates. Sure enough, we all hear the pop of someone Apparating into the cemetery.
"Can you guys stay here and greet people?" I asked, looking at George and Harry.
They nodded.
"We've got you, Ali," George said.
I nodded quickly and began heading through the aisle of tombs.
"Ah you must be Ms. Black," the officiator said, extending his hand. "Mr. Potter said I'd be greeted by a Ms. Black."
I nodded. "That's me. If you'll follow me, I'll show you where Remus is supposed to be buried." I choked on the last few words.
We walked in silence back to the coffin. Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys were now joined by Andromeda. Harry was holding Teddy now. Luna Lovegood was also there with Neville Longbottom. Kingsley stood close to the coffin. Everyone turned when they saw me.
"Alice," Andromeda said, pulling me into a tight hug. "How are you doing, dear?"
"I'm okay. But it's not my loss you should be worrying yourself with. It's Teddy who just lost his father and his mother."
I looked at the baby in Harry's arms. Peering over the blankets, I could see Teddy grinning a toothless grin at me.
"That may be so," Molly said, coming up from behind me. "But you and Remus were so in love at one point."
I shook my head.
"He loved Tonks so much more. He gave her everything he would never give to me."
My eyes flickered to Teddy again, and then back to Andromeda.
"I'm sorry. I know that's your daughter."
She shook her head.
"It's okay, Alice. But he loved you so much. He was so upset when you didn't show up for the wedding," Andromeda said, putting a hand against my cheek.
"I was angry," I said, looking at the coffin.
"You had good reasoning."
"I was so close to forgiving him. Then he went to Tonks. He gave her everything he told me I would never have with him. I felt so angry."
"Again, you had good reasoning, Alice."
I shook my head.
"Nevermind me, Andromeda. I'll be okay."
She didn't look convinced but she dropped it.
"How many more people are we expecting?"
I closed my eyes and focused on the ceremony itself. I could see the Weasleys, Andromeda, Teddy, Harry, Hermione, and myself. In the back, stood Draco and Narcissa Malfoy. I suddenly couldn't focus on any other guest.
I quickly adjusted my sight to Narcissa. They were walking through the gates.
My eyes snapped open.
"What are they doing here?" I hissed moving away from the group.
"Ali?" George said, making a move to follow me.
"You stay here," I said, before turning to the gate.
Sure enough, Draco and Narcissa were coming through the gate.
Both froze when they saw me.
"What are you doing here?"
"I told you she'd see us coming, Mum," Draco mumbled.
"We come in peace, Alice," she said, holding up her hands. She took the bouquet of roses and lilies from Draco and extended them to me. "These are for you. We know Remus meant a lot to you."
"Thank you, Narcissa. I don't know how well they'll react to you being here."
"Alice, we only wish to redeem ourselves," Draco said. "Please. Give us that chance."
I studied both of their faces. Both seemed sincere.
"Remember. I will see if either of you try anything."
"Of course," Narcissa said quietly.
"Follow me," I said, turning back to the graves.
When I made it back to the group surrounding Remus's grave, they all turned and stared at me.
"Alice, what are they doing here?" Andromeda asked coldly. She stepped to the side, blocking Harry and Teddy from view.
"They're trying to redeem themselves. They won't do anything."
"We're just here for Alice," Narcissa said.
"Do you trust them, Al?" Harry asked.
I looked at the two Malfoys again.
"I do. If they try anything, I'll see it as soon as they decide it. Give them a chance. People change."
Everyone relaxed, and it became less tense.
"How many more people, Alice?" Hermione asked. "It's almost time to start."
"Hagrid, McGonagall, and Professors Flitwick, Slughorn, and Sprout are on the way. They'll be here in a moment. We can start when they get here."
We were all quiet as we waited. I looked down at the bouquet in my hands.
I began walking to the tombstone for Remus and pulled one of the lilies out. I rested it against the tombstone.
Everyone watched me.
I could see Hagrid over everybody else.
I stood and turned back to the crowd.
"Alice," McGonagall said, pulling me into a tight hug. "How are you doing?"
"I've been better. I suppose things could be worse though."
My eyes flickered to Harry and Teddy again.
As she stepped away from me, Hagrid swooped me up into his arms and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Hagrid," I gasped. "I can't breathe."
"Sorry, Alice," he said, setting me back down on the ground. He had a large tear rolling down his cheek.
"I think we're ready to start," I said.
The officiator, who had been standing behind the tombstone nodded.
We all began moving to the coffin. Andromeda and I stood side by side. She held Teddy now. Harry stood on my other side, and George stood directly behind me.
The officiator cleared his throat and looked down at the podium.
"Family and friend, we meet here today to honor the life of Remus John Lupin. We give thanks for his life and wish him well now that their time in this world has come to an end. Remus is preceded in death by his mother and father, Hope and Lyall Lupin, his wife Nymphadora, and his close friends, Sirius Black, and James Potter. He is survived by his son, Edward Remus Lupin, and his goddaughter, Mary Alice Black."
I felt my vision begin to blur as tears filled my eyes. Harry's hand tightened around mine.
"For Remus, the journey is now beginning. But for us, there is loss, grief, and pain. Every one of us here has been affected - perhaps in small ways, or perhaps in transformative ones by Remus. His life mattered to us all. It is important for us to collectively acknowledge and accept that the world has fundamentally changed with his passing. We are all grieving. Life will not be the same - nor should it be. Together, let us open our hearts and commemorate the impact Remus had on us. I now welcome Remus's close friend, Harry Potter to speak."
Harry squeezed my hand before dropping it. He walked up to where the officiator was moving.
"Good evening everyone, and thank you for coming. I first met Remus in 1993, when he became the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. We were on the train to Hogwarts, and he helped me recover from a dementor attack."
I could remember that day. Remus came rushing in to check on me once the dementor had been driven from the train. It was that day that Fred and George learned about mine and Remus's relationship.
"He took me under his wing," Harry was saying. I focused on Harry again. "I later learned about his friendship with my father. He taught me how to conjure a Patronus, and was overall the best defense teacher I had ever had. Remus was an amazing man, and I wish I could have known him better. What I did know of Remus, was that he was smart, loving, courageous, and brave. He loved his family, and he also did what he felt was right. He was taken too soon, but he will always live on in our memories."
Harry stepped away from the podium, and the officiator stepped up again.
"We now welcome Mary Alice Black."
George gave me a tight one-armed hug, and Andromeda squeezed my shoulder.
As I walked forward, I felt my legs start to shake.
"It's okay, Al," Harry whispered in my ear. He pulled me into a hug before returning to his original spot.
I looked out into the crowd of people and cleared my throat.
"I want to thank you all for being here today. It would mean a lot to Remus if he could see how many of you came today," I said. My eyes glanced over everybody. They rested for a lot longer on Teddy, before clearing my throat again. "I knew Remus under two very different lights. I knew him as my godfather, and then I knew him as a friend. When my father was sent to prison, Remus took me in. He made sure that I had the best life I possibly could. We didn't have much, but he made sure that my life was great."
I paused and reached up to wipe the tears that were falling down my face. I felt the lump in my throat grow as my eyes fell on Remus's face.
"He always put my needs before his own and supported me in everything I did. I never thanked Remus for the amazing life he gave me."
My voice broke.
"I spent so much time being angry with Remus, that I never told him how much I appreciated everything he had done for me, and I will regret that for the rest of my lifAsike Harry said, Remus was smart, loving, courageous, and brave. He was also selfless, and compassionate, and he had a kind heart, and I owe my life to him. Everything I have become, was because of him. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize this," I said, tearing my gaze away from Remus back to the crowd. I wiped my eyes again, and I watched as several people did the same.
"Re," I said quietly. My voice broke again. "Thank you for everything you've done. I love you, and I will miss you. Forever."
I stepped away from the podium, and Harry rushed up to me and pulled me into a tight hug.
"It's okay, Al," he said soothingly in my ear.
"We have been remembering with love and gratitude a life that touched us all," the officiator said from behind me. "I encourage you to help, support and love those who grieve most. Allow them to cry; to hurt; to smile and to remember. Grief works through our systems in its own time. Remember to appreciate each day and to live it to the full in honor of Remus. We often take life for granted and yet it is the greatest gift we have. Thank you for coming, and may Remus Lupin rest in peace."
The officiator stepped away from the podium, and Harry hugged me tighter, keeping me from sinking to the ground.
"I've got you, Al," he said in my ear.
Molly stepped up to the podium.
"Excuse me, everyone," she said, gathering everyone's attention. "There will be a reception to celebrate the lives of all the fallen, today. It begins in an hour, and everyone is welcome to come."
Everyone stood, as Harry walked me back over to George and Andromeda.
"How much longer are you going to stay, Alice?" Molly asked.
"I'm staying until he's in the ground," I said quietly.
"I'm going to stay here with her," Harry said.
"So am I," George said.
"I'll be staying here until Alice leaves," Andromeda said. "Then I'll follow them back to the Burrow."
Molly nodded and pressed her hand against my cheek.
She returned to Arthur, who stood not too far behind where everyone seemed to be Apparating from.
George took the hand that wasn't wrapped around Harry, and the three of us walked toward the coffin.
I reached into my bag and pulled out a picture of Remus and I that I had found a few days before.
"I guess when I destroyed all of our pictures, I forgot one," I said quietly. "I found it when I was going through my things. I have a copy of it. But I thought I'd leave this one with you."
I laid the picture of Remus and I next to his body. I had just turned 17 in that picture. I had just managed to get my Animagus transformation right.
"I have a picture of Teddy and Nymphadora for you," Andromeda said, laying the picture next to the one I had put down.
I reached up for the lid of the coffin.
"I love you, Re," I said. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."
A sob escaped from me as I closed the lid.
Harry pulled me back into his arms and rested his cheek on the top of my head.
"I'm sorry, Alice," he said.
George placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head where Harry's head wasn't. I turned and watched as two people lowered the coffin into the ground with their wands.
"He's not coming back," I said numbly.
"No, Al. I'm sorry," Harry said, kissing the top of my head.
"Miss?" one of the people who lowered the coffin.
"Yes?"
"Would you like to put in the first bit of dirt?"
I nodded and stepped forward.
There was no shovel in sight, and I didn't bother with my wand. Instead, I pictured the dirt rising, and so it did.
The two men watched in amazement as I moved a large pile of soil into the deep hole in the ground.
"Come on, Al. Let's go back to the Burrow."
The three of us turned away Remus's grave, and then suddenly, we were gone.
Okay, here is chapter two. Something that was different about this chapter from the original, was I showed Alice leaving her house for the last time. It was the house that her parents had lived in when she was born, and it was left in her name when her mother died and Sirius went to jail. When she and Remus broke up, she moved back into that house. So the next chapter will be the post-funeral reception, and everyone learns of Alice leaving.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
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