IT'S BEST IF WE BOTH STAY
CHAPTER TWO


The next morning Kate is staring at her coffee maker, willing it to brew faster, when she gets the call. Despite Castle's encouragement, she'd barely slept the night before. She couldn't stop thinking about their kiss, the way her body responded, how his hands and tongue felt against hers...

She snaps out of her thoughts with the shrill ring of the phone.

She answers immediately, reflexes fast when she sees the number, despite her tired state. "Beckett," she answers sharply. She listens to the tech as he explains the results, and by the time he's finished she's slid into a chair, eyes unfocused ahead of her. "Are you sure?" Somehow she keeps her voice even. "Okay, thank you. Thanks for calling me."

No. God, no.

Ten months of nothing. And now…

Her fingers dial Castle before she knows they've even moved, but by the time she goes to end the call he's answering.

"Beckett?" A pause, then he clears the sleep from his throat and speaks louder. "Beckett? Kate, are you there?"

Kate brings up the phone to her ear slowly, like she's not in control of her motions. "CSU just called me," she says. "Preliminary DNA came back." She's trying desperately to keep her voice steady, but she wouldn't be surprised if Castle hears the slight tremble.

"What did they say? And do they usually call you directly at an ungodly hour?"

Kate shakes her head briefly before realizing he can't see her. "No. Usually they'd set the results on my desk and send me a text saying they're in."

"So what's different?" Castle pauses, but when she doesn't answer right away he continues. "Kate, talk to me. What did they say?"

"The—" She has to stop and take a deep breath, wills herself not to break down. "The DNA matched someone that was in the system. It was from another case, an unsolved shooting." She swallows around the lump in her throat. "My shooting, Castle. The guy who Orlando Costas fought, the suspect in this case...was the same guy that shot me."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Castle—"

"Not a question, Kate."

She manages to take a quick shower and get dressed before he gets there, but as soon as she opens the door he's pulling her into a hug, ignoring her still-wet hair. She closes her eyes and sinks into his embrace for a few moments before taking a deep breath and pulling back. "Thanks," she says, giving him a tired smile.

Castle returns her smile and lightly cups her cheek, brushes her cheekbone with his thumb. "You're welcome. How are you doing?"

She shrugs as he follows her into the kitchen. "I'm not sure. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. Coffee?"

"Please."

She goes through the motions of pouring the coffee and a little cream and sugar to both mugs, adding some vanilla syrup to her own. They sip in silence, finishing at the same time, and Castle sets both of their mugs in the sink before turning back to her.

Castle studies her for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed. "Did you sleep well last night?" he finally asks.

Kate pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to stave off the headache already forming, and shakes her head. "Not really," she confesses in a quiet voice. She reaches out and squeezes his hand. "I should finish getting ready."

When Kate comes back out she's pulling her hair back, and she slips on her shoes and coat quickly; badge goes in her pocket, gun in her holster, and her cop persona is in the forefront once again.

She pauses at the door and takes a deep breath before turning back to Castle, a smile sneaking onto her features when she sees him staring at her, awe written all over his features. "You coming?"


The precinct is quiet. It's before 6:30 when they exit the elevator together, and Beckett goes straight to the murder board after dropping her bag in her chair. She perches at the edge of her desk, staring, trying to find the clue to link this case to her own, besides the DNA.

Castle joins her after a few minutes, having taken a detour to the espresso machine, and gives her a small smile when she lets her fingers brush against his as she takes the mug. "The cases might not be related," he offers, but it's weak even for him.

"Costas broke into Montgomery's house, Castle," Beckett points out. "How can they not be? It's the same shooter. They're connected. I know they are."

"Kate—"

"Ten months, Castle. Ten months of nothing, not even a glimmer, and all of a sudden, this? It's too much of a coincidence." She pauses to take a sip of the latte he made her, not so much for the caffeine but to give herself a moment. "Since my shooting I've been waiting for something to happen, for the dragon to rear its ugly head again. For the other shoe to drop. Everyone that was involved is dead, except for me. What if this is it? What if this is the other shoe?"

Castle reaches over and takes her free hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "If it is, I'll be with you. Every step of the way. And I won't let anything happen to you."

Kate smiles, and after a quick glance around the precinct to make sure they're still alone, she brushes a quick kiss against his mouth. "Thanks, Castle," she says quietly. She looks down at their joined hands. "Just...can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Don't let me get lost in this again? We're in a good place, and I...I don't want to get drawn back into the rabbit hole again. But I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself."

Castle wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. "Of course."


A few hours later, Castle isn't sure he can keep his promise. Kate had lost it while interrogating the victim's girlfriend about the money they'd been wired, which had admittedly resulted in a fairly solid lead. They have a face, but when Kate forbids Ryan and Esposito from running it through facial recognition software, making it almost impossible to identify him, Castle knows that she's on the edge. Especially when she snaps at him after he simply says her name.

Which is why he finds himself at her door that night, both physically and emotionally exhausted, but needing to talk her down. She shouldn't be investigating. It's only a matter of time before they come after her again.

The door opens moments after he knocks, and he doesn't miss the gun at Kate's side or how tired she looks. She's been going hard all day long, and the lack of sleep and emotion from the day seems to be finally catching up to her.

"Hey," she says, stepping aside to let him in. "Espo called a few minutes ago. He said the shooter had a keychain, with a logo, and he tracked it down to a parking garage out in the Bronx. He's running it down now, seeing if they keep copies of driver's licenses on file."

"Kate—"

"I know, he'll be using a fake ID, It's still a needle in a haystack, but at least we have a haystack. So tomorrow—"

"Kate."

She finally turns back to him, eyebrows raised, and she reaches out and takes his hand. "What's wrong?"

Rick sighs and takes his other hand out if his pocket, holding a flash drive. "You need to stop. The investigation. You need to let it go. Step away, let the boys handle it, something. But you can't be involved anymore."

Kate just stares. "You don't have to worry about me, Castle. I'm fine. I'm in control."

"No, you're not." He walks past her to her computer and wakes it up, plugs in the flash drive. "You're not in control. Look, I need to show you something." He brings up the contents of the drive: the digital murder board he created to work her shooting.

Kate takes a step forward, her eyes glued to the screen. "What is that?" Her face stares back at her, and when Castle clicks on it and others appear, she gasps and stumbles back.

It's her case.

Her case, and her mom's case, and it's an almost exact digital replica of the board decorating the window just a few feet away.

"Castle...what the hell is this? What have you done?"

Castle drops his head briefly, then starts to explain. "Last year, when you were in the hospital, I got a call from an old friend of Montgomery's. He'd received a package, a file that contained evidence damaging to the person behind your mother's murder. Before he went to that hanger, Montgomery had sent the file as insurance, to keep them from going after you. But Smith didn't get the file until after you'd been shot."

Kate leans forward. "Smith?"

Castle takes a deep breath before continuing. "Montgomery's friend. He told me the deal was that they wouldn't come after you as long as you weren't investigating. So...he enlisted my help."

"You're a part of this?" Her voice breaks, barely suppressing the tears in her eyes.

Castle reaches for her hand, wincing when she pulls it back, away from him. "I was just trying to keep you safe."

"By lying to me about this? God, Castle, you know what this case means to me."

"I was trying to protect—"

"I don't need protection, Rick!" She's yelling now, angry tears rolling down her cheeks. "I needed a lead on the guy who shot me, the guy who had my mother killed and you sat on it for almost a year. A year! How did you know you could trust him? What if he's behind it all? And how the hell could you do this?"

Castle finally breaks. "Because I love you!" he yells right back, and the way she just stares is devastating, but he keeps going. "I've loved you from the start, Kate. Four years, I've been bringing you coffee just to put a smile on your face. I couldn't tell you, couldn't see you go down that path again—"

"What path, exactly? The path where I killed the man who stabbed my mother? Or the one where I'm still alive?" Her fists are clenching and unclenching. "You should have told me, Rick. You should have let me decide for myself. And now they're cleaning house, so they'll probably come after me anyway."

"No." He's in front of her in three long strides, too fast for her to back away. He takes her hands and squeezes them, willing her to look up at him. "I won't let anything happen to you. But you need to walk away."

Kate tears her hands from his grip. "I can't walk away from this. I won't."

"They've turned this into a war that I don't think we can win."

"Then you can walk away."

They stare at each other for a full minute, both struck mute from the words that just came out of her mouth. Finally, Castle nods in resignation and turns away. "I thought you wanted this. Us," he says quietly, waving his hand between them. He gives her one last long, sad look before turning to the door. "I guess not."


It's late morning when Castle's phone starts to ring. After a few hours of tossing and turning, he'd tried to write, but his fight with Beckett consumed every thought, so he'd given up after just a few minutes.

They'd been in such a good place after their failed movie night; both had admitted they wanted something more than friendship, and she'd proven that his memory of her kissing ability was very accurate. And she'd even kissed him in the precinct. Granted, it was at 6:30 in the morning after she'd made sure nobody was around, but a precinct kiss was a precinct kiss.

But now…

He'd ruined everything.

He ignores his phone as long as he can, but after a half dozen times of it stopping and starting his nerves are getting the best of him. The previous ignored calls had been from the precinct itself, no doubt one of the guys trying to get a hold of him for some reason or another. But he finally answers when he sees Ryan's name on the screen.

"What is it?" he asks sharply, half expecting Beckett to be using the phone.

"Castle, thank God." No, it's Ryan, but he sounds panicked. "Beckett and Espo went after the sniper, with no backup. I tried to stop them, but they wouldn't listen."

Castle barely suppresses the urge to run towards the door at the mention of Beckett in danger. "Look, Ryan, I'm done. I can't go through this anymore, watching…I just can't."

"This guy is dangerous, Castle. I'm on my way with SWAT but they have at least a half-hour head start. He's at the Roslyn Hotel. It's not that far from you, if you get a hold of Beckett first maybe you can talk her down." Ryan pauses and takes a breath. "I don't know what happened between you two, and frankly it's none of my business, but Castle, they're running headfirst into a suicide mission. He almost killed her before. I'm not so sure he won't succeed this time."

Castle runs his fingers through his hair in frustration before making up his mind. "You said the Roslyn?"


He arrives mere moments before SWAT, but starts to bound up the stairs before they've even unloaded from the van. He barely hears Ryan shouting after him to wait for one of them, or at least take a gun, but he doesn't care.

He's meets Esposito about halfway up, barely stops to make sure he's okay. He's standing, he's fine. Espo yells after him that Beckett went to the roof.

Oh God.

"Beckett! Kate!" Castle yells her name louder than he ever has before when he bursts through the door. From what he can tell, the roof is empty, but after a few moments he hears her call his name, loud and clear and - oh shit - coming from the side of the building.

Castle runs towards the sound and sees her hands, fingers balancing precariously on the edge of a ledge, and he leans his head over to see her hanging on, just barely. Her eyes are wild and panicked, but relief washes over her features when she sees him.

"Castle—"

"SWAT's right behind me. Just hang on. Hang on, Beckett!" He reaches for her, but she's just out of reach, only by a few inches.

"Castle, I can't, I—" Kate's eyes widen when her right hand slips, and she's holding on just by her left, and it's slipping, until it's just her fingertips…

"NO!" Castle lunges forward and grabs her wrist just as the last finger slips away and she starts to fall. He manages to grab the ledge with his other hand to keep himself from sliding over the edge with her, and he stares into her eyes, holds them with his own. "Hang on, Kate. Just don't let go of me. Look at me. Keep looking at me."

She manages to keep her eyes on him. "Castle—"

Just moments later Castle feels hands at his shirt and belt, and Ryan is helping him pull Kate up, with help from a couple SWAT members. Kate grabs onto Castle's arm as soon as she can swing her right arm up, and as soon as Castle is able to, both of his arms are around her back, and he's pulling her over the ledge, back onto solid ground.

Kate collapses on top of him, fists gripping his shirt, face buried in his chest. "I'm so sorry, Castle," she sobs, her whole body shaking even as he holds her. "I should have listened to you—"

"Hey." Castle dusts a kiss over the top of her head before cupping her cheeks and tilting her head so she can look up at him. "No, Kate. I should have been here. I'm sorry." He tucks her head back into his chest when her tears start to fall again. "You're okay, Kate. You're okay."


Again, thanks to Callie for the beta and the cover art! 3