Beta-Read by Lionheart261
*/*
A Crushing Realization
He was sweating from the heat rising in his body. This was harder and more difficult than he had expected. Over the years, Endeavor had gotten a lot better at fine-tuning the heat and fire of his quirk compared to when he had graduated. And thank God for that. Now he needed all that control, as he was slowly, carefully burning and melting his way through the rubble to where he could already hear the survivors' pleas for help.
There had been a horrible earthquake. The region east of Osaka as well as some outer districts of the big city had been caught in it. There was a big tsunami incoming now and the local first response heroes had requested help from all nearby heroes to save the victims and evacuate the area before the second calamity would hit. It was frustrating, but there was nothing Endeavor could do. There was no stopping a natural disaster like this, no halting it. All they could do was take care of the civilians as well as possible. He hated these jobs. No villains to fight, no battles to be won, and even if they managed to save everybody – which was impossible, as the earthquake had already cost lives – there would still only be losers. People would lose their property, their homes …
On top of that, Endeavor was just bad at it. His quirk was destructive, powerful, deadly – suited to battle, not helping people. He himself was a walking, talking disaster in a way, not suited to fight a catastrophe of this magnitude. One wrong move and on top of an earthquake and an incoming tsunami, he could start a fire. It made his job that much more difficult.
But this at least he could do. He carefully burned through iron, wood and stone, careful to keep the damage to a minimum, careful to not collapse the entire building, careful to dig a single tunnel big enough to accommodate him so he could reach the civilians stuck in the basement under all this rubble. He had to crouch to pass through the small passage he had dug.
When Endeavor had first arrived on the scene, there was chaos. Normally in emergency situations like this, the first hero on sight was tasked with coordinating the joint rescue effort. However, when Endeavor had arrived, there was nothing of the kind. Whatever his colleagues were doing, this could have hardly been called a joint rescue effort, or much of anything really. Heroes were running around alone or in small groups, with no guidance or organizational structure. It was a boring task, and one he didn't particularly enjoy himself, but since his quirk couldn't exactly help much with saving the civilians and victims still trapped below the rubble, he had set out to establish some sort of system, at once.
It helped significantly that by now, Endeavor was well known. Just a mere eight months ago he had opened his own hero agency after working as a sidekick for the better part of two years after his graduation. It had been a bit frustrating. With his experience and skill, he could have opened his own agency pretty much straight away, but with the new name, he had first had to make himself known to the public again. Eight months ago, it had finally been time to go his own way. Admittedly to his own surprise, in the last Japanese hero billboard charts, he had suddenly climbed not just into the top ten, as he had expected, but straight to the number two spot under All Might. It came as a surprise to many, as he was still only twenty years old, but he had solved countless cases in his first months after opening his agency. So, despite the fact that he had less experience than most heroes in the next twenty spots after him, he had deserved this number two spot. It helped immensely now as he tried to coordinate the big number of heroes on the scene today.
Everything had worked well enough until, shortly before he thought they were almost done, and could wrap up and leave the scene before the water hit, one of the heroes had come back in a panicked frenzy, explaining that a family had been trapped in a basement, out of his reach.
So, Endeavor had taken up that task himself.
They only had about 20 to 30 minutes left until the giant wave would hit them, he knew. Worse, he had to take his sweet time to dig through the rubble as carefully as possible. It had already cost him fifteen precious minutes and he still hadn't reached them. At least, Endeavor was fairly sure, everyone else must have left the area by now. If he could save this family, they'd have saved all the survivors from the earthquake before the water would hit them and kill even more.
He was sweating and slowly heating up from the task of carefully burning his way through the rubble, passing through the still sweltering and smoldering tunnel.
"Who … Who's there?" The civilians must have finally heard him get closer. Their voices were trembling just a bit with suppressed fright. "Is somebody there?!"
"Stay away from the wall for a moment!" called Endeavor making sure they didn't get to close to his heat. "I'll be there in a minute!"
It only took another few seconds until he finally broke through. He immediately dowsed his flames until his fiery cloak and mask were the only lights emitting from his person and, as he would soon realize, also the only lights in the room. The family of six, now staring and blinking at him incredulously, had been trapped in complete darkness.
"En… You're Endeavor," said one of the adults, recognizing him after a few moments. There were six civilians, three of them children between the ages of five and twelve, Endeavor guessed. They all stared at him with huge eyes.
"That's me," Endeavor grunted a bit awkwardly – he was never really good at talking to people. He could save them, sure. Entertaining them, though? He wasn't good at that, and at any rate, they still had to hurry. He ducked back into the tunnel and waved for them to follow. None of them looked injured, so, he thought, they'd be strong enough to walk by themselves. "Hurry. Follow me!" He was about to leave again, when he realized none of them were moving. They still stared at him, somewhere between shocked and in awe. He grunted again. "No need to worry." He tried to sound reassuring. "But we have to hurry a bit." He hesitated uncertainly. There was no real reason to frighten them and send them in a frenzied panic by telling them the truth about the deadly wave coming in, he gathered. "I don't have all day," said the hero, a bit impatiently making to leave them while still glancing back. They didn't have much time, he feared.
Luckily, while one of the adults seemed to scowl at his rude behavior, they at least pushed their children to follow him. It took them no time at all to leave the ruins through the same tunnel he had dug to get here.
"There's a helicopter waiting for you over there", he pointed around a corner. He tried not to look panicked, but he was quickly glancing up and down the street. At least it looked like they actually were alone. They were the last ones left-everyone else had gotten out by now. That was good at least.
"Ah!" The shrill scream of one of the kids brought him back to focus on the family, that hadn't moved an inch from where they had climbed out of his make shift tunnel. Instead, they were staring down a road and pointing over Endeavor's head, making the hero swivel around.
Oh … fuck. Up there, Endeavor could see it. The wave. Masses of blue, deadly water, towering above the city. The water was still a bit away, but he could already see the blue and brown…ish death wave rise above them.
"Run …" muttered Endeavor. "Run! Head to the helicopter!" They had to get there before the rescue team left without them. With the catastrophe so close, that wasn't all that unlikely. "Hurry!" The tsunami had come faster than expected and he knew they couldn't outrun it.
He could hear the loud rotor blades of the helicopter speed up, pushing air. Endeavor truly felt despair then. There was no stopping this disaster, and the helicopter was starting without them. His charges hadn't even started moving yet, frozen into place by shock and panic.
"RUN!" He screamed, letting his flames surge angrily to shock them out of their frozen terror. Finally, they jumped into action, running toward the helicopter, and Endeavor could only hope they would reach it in time, before it was up and gone trying to save itself.
He, however, could not go with them. Endeavor turned towards the incoming calamity. There wasn't much he could do here, but he had to do something. They wouldn't be able to outrun it, wouldn't be able to escape it, if he didn't do anything. And he didn't have anywhere close to the power to stop it. All he might be able to do would be to try and delay the inevitable, hold the water and halt the catastrophe for just as long as necessary to save his charges. He should be able, he thought, to boil and superheat the water, turning it into steam immediately for however long would be necessary. Or until he drowned. Whichever came first.
The water was already upon him and he had no time to make sure the family was actually out of his own blast radius when he suddenly superheated and threw all his might against the deadly wave. Blue and white flames crashed with the water and suddenly steam exploded all around him.
The air was uncomfortably humid and hot even by his standards. But he could endure that. Suddenly, he heard somebody cough behind him. Shit, hadn't they gotten away?
"It's so hot! The steam!" complained a young voice and Endeavor could only throw a quick glance backwards where the family was again standing like deer in the headlights. Fuck! Why hadn't they run?!
He couldn't focus on them now, but he couldn't risk killing them with his heat either. He concentrated more on focusing his flames only against the water. Then he had to widen the blast radius again, as the water suddenly crashed against him from the sides almost surrounding him and the family.
Shit… Shit… He grit his teeth, firing in three directions at one, spending all his strength on his efforts to buy them some time when he already feared it was for naught. He was rapidly overheating his own body and soon he wouldn't be able to move anymore, let alone stand. Constantly using his quirk like this could ultimately kill him. There was no other choice.
The helicopter had started, moved above them, still in the danger zone of the tsunami, just low enough that the ladder they threw down at them could reach the family cradling behind him. From his peripheral view, Endeavor could see one of the adults making weak attempts at getting his family to get out of their shocked state and climb the ladder, but the sheer idea of climbing the dangerous ladder in this situation made the youngest kid cry hysterically, which made the whole situation just so much worse.
Endeavor was already sweating with blurry vision and trembling limbs, a splitting headache and feverish weakness. He couldn't focus on them now, though he should do something to help them get out of here. But he had his hands full.
Suddenly there was a powerful thud behind him. "Don't worry." He immediately recognized the voice. That timing... "For I am here now!" His voice was as deep and reassuring as ever. Endeavor couldn't help but feel relieved for a moment.
"All Might!" That was one of the children in relief.
Suddenly, as if Endeavor had only waited for the Number One hero to arrive, his flames died down without so much as another flare. They just sizzled out.
"Good work!" said the Number One hero, moving past Endeavor at once. "Get them out of here!" Endeavor didn't need to be told. He stumbled toward the family and grabbed for the ladder, using it as leverage to keep himself upright.
"Get on here!" commanded the Flame Hero briskly. He couldn't help but look back at All Might, who just crouched in preparation for an attack as calm as humanly possible. Endeavor had grabbed the oldest kid at the upper arm and pulled him toward the ladder; then he had just halted in his movement like the civilians around him, watching that broad back strain with muscles. "Move already!" demanded Endeavor only half-heartedly, pushing the kid to the ladder and urging him to climb it while still staring at All Might.
What was he about to do? He couldn't actually think to just punch the tsunami! How ridiculous!
In the end, he could just watch in stunned awe as the strongest hero...actually punched a calamity of that magnitude away.
"North America…" clamored All Might as his muscles clenched and rippled and Enji Todoroki just stared, himself now stunned into inaction, stunned like a mere civilian watching the Number One Hero. "SMASH!"
It was...frightening. To think that one man could have such power! Magnificent! Frustrating, really, because this was the man he had set out to surpass. And he knew now...he'd never get there. Not with his power, his body, his quirk. For the last five years, he had trained harder than anybody to reach this man. There were limits he now knew to his strength, limits to how strong he could get. Limits he could only draw closer to, but never truly break. But this man, All Might...he was truly far beyond all of Endeavor's limits, so far out of his reach. Enji had never felt so wholesomely inadequate. So...weak.
What a pointless endeavor indeed, to try reaching this man's power.
Endeavor couldn't help but despair, as he saw All Might smash a literal hole into an actual tsunami. Suddenly he could see the sky again, and as he heard the family's cheers of joy and admiration, he finally shook himself out of his state of shock.
He was about to fall to his knees from his own weak and overheated body, when he managed to catch himself with the help of the ladder still dangling from the helicopter. Right...the rescue. He still had to do his job. There was a bloody hole in a goddamn tsunami, but the tsunami wasn't gone, and they weren't out of danger yet.
"Climb the ladder, now!" ordered Endeavor as calm as possible. He realized with a bit of embarrassment that his voice was trembling weakly. "After every kid an adult", he declared pushing one of the adults after the kid he had already pushed to the ladder. "Any kids who can't climb themselves?"
But it seemed like All Might's presence gave them a sudden surge of new strength and confidence that they could all survive this catastrophe. One after another they climbed the ladder all by themselves, until Endeavor reached the helicopter last.
They were far above the danger zone now, and Endeavor could just watch All Might literally jump away. It was...mind-boggling what this man could do. He didn't want to think too hard about it, so Endeavor just leaned back and closed his eyes. He felt feverish and tired.
"Did you see, Dad?" One of the children cheered noisily making it impossible for Endeavor to actually fall asleep. "That's the Number One hero for you! Amazing! Just…North America…"
"Smash!" That was the youngest kid punching air.
"There's no one who comes even close!" said the middle child. A girl around eight years. She was excited and loud like her brothers. "I'll be a hero, too, when I'm grown up. Like All Might, I swear."
"That was so cool!" cheered the youngest.
"I know. He was cool, wasn't he," The mother's voice was soothing. She patted her youngest and smiled at Endeavor, who tried to act asleep … or at least he tried to act as if he wasn't hearing every word. "They saved us."
"Yeah, right!" said the oldest boy, turning to Endeavor suddenly. "You were pretty cool, too, Mister … eh … Endeavor." Endeavor still acted asleep.
"Thank you, Endeavor-san" said the mother, but he still did not react.
Really, he wouldn't know how to react. He was not good at this sort of thing. So, they went straight back to fanboying all over All Might. He should be annoyed, he thought, at All Might stealing his grand moment. The man had undoubtedly saved his life. But still...Endeavor had rescued these people, had almost gotten them out of there … until All Might had jumped in and saved not just them but Endeavor, too. It was frustrating.
He couldn't find it in himself, however, to be angry. He was just...frustrated, despairing. When was the last time he had seen All Might in action, doing something that seemed to actually strain him? For the most part, All Might was punching weak villains that Endeavor could take care of himself. Maybe that had been the reason why Endeavor had never realized their actual difference in power. He had never seen All Might do anything that Endeavor couldn't see himself doing eventually. Now, however...there was no way. Endeavor would ever be able to do that. The feverish state of his body was proof of that. He had thrown all his might against the tsunami with only little effect, and then All Might had come and just casually punched a hole through it!
How could he just accept that?
After the helicopter finally landed close to the make-shift shelter they had set up for the earthquake and tsunami victims, he found himself basically fleeing the scene. He had no desire to talk to or even just meet the paparazzi already swarming the place. Maybe he should consider himself lucky, that he got away almost undetected. Maybe it wasn't much of a surprise though, considering that All Might had only appeared a moment before him and was positively swarmed by the media, obviously relishing in the attention.
So instead of giving interviews or making another public appearance, he found himself back home and in bed only shortly thereafter. He fell asleep quickly, his body in dire need for rest.
He dreamed that night. He didn't dream often these days anymore, but maybe the fever had initiated this dream.
In his sleep he found himself staring at that back he was chasing after, at the man that was his goal. All Might was...so infinitely far away. And just moving further away still.
He woke up feeling a weird mixture of frustration, despair and determination.
He was Endeavor. The man who had set out to surpass All Might and become the greatest of all. They had all called him an idiot for trying, and now he knew they were right. He had truly set out on a Sisyphusian task. But, he wondered, what would Sisyphus do if he ever found himself reaching the peak of his mountain, only to look up and realize he had climbed the wrong mountain, pushing the wrong rock? What would Sisyphus do if he found the actual mountain so high above him he could hardly see its peak, and the actual rock so heavy he couldn't even move it at all?
What should Endeavor do now?
He couldn't just give up on his task. He knew what he wanted, and this endeavor was all he was now, all he ever wanted. His goal and dream. He couldn't just turn back. There was a promise he had to keep. A promise to himself.
So, what should he do?
He could always shift the goal post, he could give up...
But none of that was satisfactory. This endeavor of his, it was in his name. Hadn't he known from the get-go, that this endeavor might just be impossible? Now he knew for sure, but that didn't mean he could just stop and give up. There was really only one way forward.
He had to climb that mountain. He had to reach that man. He had to chase that back far in the distance, that back that seemingly carried all of japan effortlessly.
The frustrating thing was, that he knew...knew for a fact, now, that he would never reach this man. Not with his own power, not with his own quirk, not by himself. He knew now, had seen it with his own eyes. He was not so naïve anymore to just ignore that fact. He knew he would never succeed, would never reach this man. But he also knew he could never stop.
This was his endeavor. It was who he was: Endeavor.
