So this chapter may shock some people... we shall see. Don't expect me to update this quickly usually, lol.


Chapter 1 – Assignment


Padawan Bastila Shan. She liked the sound of it. It held promise for the future, a suggestion of what was to come. Only a few days ago she had been nothing but a young apprentice, looking up at those above her, and waiting for her chance to be amongst them. And here she was. Thirteen years of age, that bothered her more than she would admit. Many others had become Padawans before her... she had wanted to be the best. Had tried so very hard. Her teachers had not even told her what she was doing wrong. It had always been "not her time," or "a little longer." How was she to better herself without more specific instruction? Her combat forms were good. Not the best, she would admit. But she won more bouts than she lost. She was one of the more intelligent initiates, forgoing her social life, limited as that was for a Jedi, in favour of study and learning.

She hated to admit it, but if it weren't for the master's discovery of her special talent, she might not even be a Padawan now. Battle meditation. The ability to instil confidence in her allies, and lower morale in her opponents. Applicable on a large scale, in theory. It made her special. Needed. Happy.

Her mother had abandoned her to the Jedi when she was still young, and ever since that time she had hated the isolation, the lack of attention. It wasn't selfishness, she had been a child! There is no emotion... peace... She recited the code to calm herself, it didn't actually calm her, but it reminded her to lock the bitterness away.

Today was not a day for bitterness. It was a time for celebration. Or, as much joy as a Jedi was allowed to feel. There is no passion, there is serenity. She could not feel pride at her accomplishment, she just had to accept it.

She hated that. But she wasn't allowed to feel hate, either.

Looking in the long mirror in her room, she adjusted her new robes around her body, and inspected herself. The robes were loose on her, to allow her to grow a little into them. Despite being so influential, the Jedi Order was not incredibly wealthy, and they couldn't afford to be wasting equipment. These very robes had likely been worn by another Padawan, once before. Her small nose wrinkled at the thought.

At thirteen, she was just beginning to bloom into true womanhood. She stood at five feet three inches, and was filling out in the most frustrating of places. Her finely sculpted face was set in a small frown, her full lips making it look more like a pout. As was expected of those who became Padawans, she had formed her hair into a braid, two in fact. This would denote to others her rank. But that was not all that would change with new rank. And it was this, which both excited, and worried her, the most.

Today she would be gaining a new master. Likely a Jedi Knight, who would mentor her and take her out on missions. Teaching and training her to become the best Jedi she could. Her entire future could depend on who was chosen. If it was a person who thought ill of her... her entire future could be ruined.

Unbidden, she clutched her robes tightly in one small hand, twisting the fabric in fear. Things would not be so bad. She was certain of this... it was just … her nature, to fear the worst. To worry. Taking a deep breath she let it out and relaxed. The council would not choose to grant her a master who would be detrimental to her progress. She would trust in their wisdom, as she always had.

A loud buzzing sounded within the room, drawing her to a small intercom near the door of her cloister. Her breathing having again quickened to near panic, she rushed over a pushed it.

"App- I mean, Padawan Shan here." She winced at having made a mistake already! How foolish she must sound. She needed to calm down, before she embarrassed herself any further.

"Padawan Shan, the council requests your presence." A young male voice spoke. No doubt a youngling being made to run tasks. She had done similar in her time... she remembered her accent having angered some Padawans of those times...

"Thank you, I will be there as soon as possible." She took another deep breath, fighting the urge to leave right now and rush there. She could not beat the apprentice who was to pass on the message, that would be humiliating. Counting to sixty, she allowed a long minute to pass as she regulated her breathing, before stepping out the door.

The Dantooine enclave... Where she had lived since five years of age. For such a small building, there were a surprising amount of Jedi here, their small rooms closely allocated, and pushed to the side by larger training rooms and eating areas. A few apprentices cleaned the halls as she walked down them, the tasks used to teach humility and discipline. She was secretly glad she was beyond them now.

"Ahh... Padawan Bastila Shan, come." An elderly but strong voice called, sensing her even as she had hesitated outside the council chambers. Taking one last breath she entered, schooling her expression as best she could before the powerful members stood before her. She began to sweat slightly at their stares.

"I have come before the council as requested." She intoned, bowing to show her respect as she swallowed past her nervousness.

"Yes, you have. Indeed." Master Vandar hummed. "Come to meet your master you have." She nodded in agreement. She had already been elevated to the rank of Padawan, and so had experienced the long discussion with the council as to what that meant. Along with many warnings about the dark side, that worried her somewhat.

"Your battle meditation is an unusual, but powerful gift." Master Dorak continued. "It has been a long time since a Jedi showed such a trait, and there are no living practitioners who might help you. Nor is their recorded knowledge on how to improve your control." For a moment she feared they were about to suggest she not pursue that skill, her only ace to be taken away from her. But Master Zhar quickly alleviated her concern.

"That said, we feel you need a master who might best be able to aid you in your search for answers. The ability you posses, obviously has its roots in warfare... and you would be an incredible target to our enemies." They didn't mention the dark side, but she could tell they worried about it... She felt both hurt and ashamed that they would think she could fall. Hurt at the lack of faith. Ashamed that she might have done something to warrant it.

"We have decided, therefore." Master Vrook now cut in. "To give you to a master who specialises in warfare and battle. Both in physical combat, and strategy. No doubt he might even be able to improve your sabre form." A he? There shouldn't be anything wrong with having a male master, but a knot of concern still appeared in her stomach. And trust Master Vrook to fit in a nasty comment about her skills with the lightsabre...

"Enter, Knight Revan." She stiffened at the words. She did not recognise the name, and for that, a small chill of disappointment stirred within her. But she turned to regard her new Master regardless. Her grey eyes widened.

He was young. Very young. He looked not to be too much older than herself... well... probably around eighteen or nineteen, but still! She had expected a Knight who was approaching his thirties, not such an attractive man! Wait, what? Her mind froze in horror as she replayed that thought. No, she did not find him attractive.

So he was tall, much taller than her, with a stature that screamed powerful. Broad shoulders and gently muscled arms, not like those who worked with heavy lifting, but the toned strength of a coiled spring. His lithe figure and long legs, even the way he moved. Like he considered every step, measured everything. It were as though he was restraining himself, forcing himself to move at the same speed as everyone else.

His face was stonier than she had expected. Perhaps she had spent so long around the gentle Masters on the council, or with those who taught young children. This, Revan... his eyes were hard chips of dark blue ice, and his face was chiselled from rock. A light dusting of stubble as around his mouth, but it only served to make the contours of his face so much more obvious. His dark brown hair was drawn back into a single ponytail, trailing down the back of his neck.

He was undeniably handsome. And she hated herself for admitting it. To her mortification she found herself blushing as she bowed to him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Master Revan." Though the term "master" was incorrect to a Knight, it was the term of respect used by Padawan's to their specific teacher. She wanted to make a good impression on him. And despite only just meeting him, she wanted to make him proud.

"And to you, child." He replied, ignoring her deepening frown at the demeaning nickname. "If the council has no further need of us, I wish to test my apprentice." Shocked, she stepped back. A test? So soon? She knew nothing of him, surely he meant for them to at least talk?

"Your time is now your own Revan. Teach her well, and may the Force be with you." Her eyes shot to Master Vandar as he said it, before coming back to her new master. All the fear from that morning came back to her, and all of a sudden, she wasn't sure it would "all be okay."

"Meet me at the Training hall in three minutes. Dismissed." He said nothing more, striding out of the room without her. Left standing there before the council, all she could do was gape, before she jolted into action. Quickly bowing to the masters she rushed to the door, looking through so she could catch up with him.

He was nowhere to be seen. Fear gnawed at her stomach. Three minutes? That was barely enough time to make it to the hall, and more than that.. that was barely enough time to make it to one of the halls... There were many such training halls in the enclave. He had not said which! Not wishing to waste any time she sprinted to the first hall, her heart pounding in her ears as she dodged past Knights and Masters, apologising to each without stopping. Reaching the first hall, she burst in, her grey eyes darting about. There were a number of people training. Younglings, doing kata, a few knights sparring. And some just watching. It took her a minute to scan the room before realising her own master was not present. Not even stopping to explain herself, she pushed past another Padawan and ran on, hoping to make it in time.

The second she burst into, and she knew she was late already. Her heart was pounding and her breath was ragged in her own ears. Exhausted, she placed an arm on the door frame for support, searching the room, praying. He wasn't here either. Tears prickled at her eyes as she utter unfairness of the situation settled in. He hadn't told her where to go. Hadn't waited for her. Now she was lost, without her master. She hadn't failed her first test. She had failed to even show up for it!

Ten minutes. It took her a little over ten minutes to find him. Her skin was covered in sweat, and her new robes clung cruelly to her skin. Her throat ached after so much running, and even her teeth ached from gritting them and pushing herself on, despite the pain. And he was stood there. His eyes hard, and his lips down turned as he looked at his exhausted apprentice.

"Did you find it amusing to disregard my instructions apprentice?" He asked, the words slapping her in the face and making her stagger back. Surely he could see that she had tried!

"B-but Master! You didn't tell me which training room..." She pleaded, trying to hide her frustrated tears by wiping the sweat from her brow. "I ran through them all looking for you!" I never stopped. She wanted to say, I kept looking even when it hurt. Isn't that enough?

"Repeat the Jedi code for me." He ordered, not commenting on her state. She quickly gasped it out, eager to get something right with him.

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force." She regained her breath and faced him, confident in herself once more.

"Correct. Why then, did you abandon it?"

The words froze her. Her confidence smashed aside like a wall made of paper. Despite herself she stepped back, drawing her hands to her breast as though he had slapped them. Her face twisted in pain.

"But... I didn't... I'd never-" She tried, before he cut her off.

"Upon my leaving you with instructions you attempted to find me. You had ignorance." He began, she looked at the floor between her feet, wishing she could vanish. "Instead of seeking knowledge. From either myself before I left, the masters, or anyone you passed on your way. You simply ran ahead. How many soldiers will you allow to die Bastila? How many families will lose their fathers because you led them into an ambush?"

She sniffed to herself, hoping he couldn't see the tears on her cheeks, or hear the small sobs she wanted to make. She hadn't killed anyone. And this talk of losing fathers made her remember her own. She would never kill someone's father! Why was he even suggesting that she had? Why was he so angry at her!

"You had no harmony. You were full of chaos, rushing through corridors, disrupting everyone you passed. You made stupid mistakes because you refused to calm down. Why were you so flustered?" There was a long pause before she realised he had asked her a question.

"I'm sorry master." She whispered, knowing he could hear her.

"I did not ask for an apology child. Answer my question." Hardening her eyes she looked at him, knowing he could see the tear trails on her face, but keeping her expression angry regardless.

"I wanted to impress you!" She accused. "I-I didn't have much time, I didn't want to let you down." She was embarrassed at having to admit it to him, but any such feelings she might have felt growing for him were crushed by his next words.

"You are a new Padawan Bastila. Nothing you could do, would impress me." Utterly ashamed and humiliated, she looked to the side, refusing to meet his gaze as her self-esteem was taken apart and murdered. Her eyes began to mist again, and she angrily bit on her lip to stem any more signs of weakness. "That came out wrong." He added, taking a step towards her before pausing.

"Listen... Bastila. You are one day going to be a leader, if I have my way. Your battle meditation would work well with a command role in times of war. You need to realise that every mistake you make, no matter how small. Will be measured in dead comrades. If I am cruel, it is only because I wish to spare you that."

She nodded to show she understood, and she did, a little bit. She would not forgive him the cruelty, and she couldn't hide the tears entirely. But she would at least accept that he had a reason. Still... this was unfair. She hadn't asked for this, and no one was dying now... and to say she could not impress him? She was trying her best!

"Do you understand apprentice?"

"Yes Master. I understand. I will seek to think all my actions through more carefully." If only to avoid the pain he would cause her emotionally.

"Good. You will report to the store rooms then, and sweep the corridors with the children tonight. That is your punishment." Her eyes shot to his, as her mouth opened in protest. Angrily she stamped one foot as she stared at him.

"But Master! What about training?" Her first day as a Padawan, and she was to spend it sweeping like a youngling? That wasn't fair! And punishment? As if the humiliation he had meted out to her right now was not enough?

"All actions have consequences child. This is yours."

It was official. Bastila Shan, hated her master.


Harshness! I know. Revan is being a total bastard, but he has his reasons, which will in time be revealed.

This will be a Bastila / Revan romance, but slow paced. Lol.

Please review if you enjoyed, it makes me update faster.