Terrier Song
by highway67
Disclaimer: I don't own Rocko's Modern Life, The Kids in The Hall, and their characters. I own nothing.
(Scene starts with Mrs. Bighead and Rocko are outside on the sidewalk between their houses. She is walking Earl.)
Mrs. Bighead: I just got him and I love him and I'm going to name him Earl because it's a perfect name 'cause he's the perfect dog and I love him...isn't he great?
Rocko: No. I don't like him.
Mrs. Bighead: What?
Rocko: Sorry.
Mrs. Bighead: What's wrong with him?
Rocko: He's just not my type of dog...he's just not...a terrier.
(singing, walking down the street, away from Mrs. Bighead and Earl)
Terriers are my very favourite breed
They're cute and cuddly and easy dogs to feed
They'll bring you up whenever you are down
Terriers average 20 pounds
When I walk around in this terrier town
One thing that makes me down
Is when people put bandanas on their dogs
Terriers are my very favourite breed
Cute and cuddly, easy dogs to feed
Terriers were there in the 11th century
Napoleon had one to prevent misery
Terriers are good with the aged
Studies show that they prolong old peoples' lives
(walking in a cemetery, stopping at a gravestone saying "HERE LIES A BIG WET CAT")
No one wants to die
Like this guy died
Die die, die die
Die die, die die
Worms eating your eyes
Bass solo
(Rocko plays two notes on an out-of-tune bass guitar, then looks behind him and sees Heffer dancing naked.)
(spoken) Heffer, what the nut are you doing here?
Heffer: I like terriers too, Rock. And it's a good song to boot!
Rocko: (annoyed) You being naked has nothing to do with terriers! Go away!
Heffer: (dejected) Sigh…fine.
(Heffer walks away)
Rocko: Wow, that hurt. You know those mornings that you just can't get out of bed, and you call in sick, if you had a job. You know those mornings when you just wanna watch TV, eat corn chips and jack…uhh…hammer. That's right, I meant jackhammer. Heh-heh. Sure you do. Well, when those days happen...what you should do is start thinking about my friends. My little furry, waterproof pals. Chantez Claudette!
Claudette: (singing, walking down the streets of Paris with many terriers)
Les terriers sont mes types favourites
Jolies, charmantes
Pas de probleme à maintenir
Il donnent du joie
Quand tu es "blue"
Les terriers sont à peu pres
Vingt livres
Rocko: (singing)
Give terriers a chance
(Yeh!)
Do the terrier dance
No, let's not
But if you want your love to show
If you want your love to grow
Then go terri-, go terri-, go terri- errr
(Rocko and Mrs. Bighead are on the sidewalk)
Rocko: See...your dog just isn't good enough.
Mrs. Bighead: I guess you're right. (lets Earl off his leash) Go on, Earl, to a brand new life!
Stay tuned for Chapter 3! Please review and/or message me if you have any ideas!
