30 Kisses Challenge: Skwisgaar Skwigelf/Toki Wartooth

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

Rated for language violence, BDSM, and man-sex.

^V^

Theme #11: Gardenia

"Toki, looks at dis!" Skwisgaar called over to the brunette.

"Whats is it?" Toki saw Skwisgaar with a box. "Oh, is it's a presents?" Toki took the big box from the blonde, shaking it up and down.

"Donts dos dat, dildoes!" Skwisgaar said. "It's fan-mail."

"Oh, ja?" Toki stopped shaking it, and put it on the table gently. Then he looked on the side of the box, reading the note. "To: Skwisgaar Skwigelf, From: Mioki Kiwazata, yous number one Japanese fan."

"Ja." Skwisgaar smiled at that. "Now, lets me opens it."

"Wait!" Toki grabbed Skwisgaar's arm. "Ares yous sure it's safe? You knows we haves bad luck with fan-mails."

"Da guards checked it. It must bes okays." Skwisgaar opened the box and pulled out the gift.

"Flowers?" Toki said. They were flowers, big white flowers, growing off of a big bush.

"Ja." Skwisgaar took the little sign out of the dirt and read it aloud. "Dem's called gar-den-i-ass."

"Dey smells nice." Toki breathed in the scent. "And dey smells familiars."

"Hm…" Skwisgaar sniffed them too. "Dey smells likes… my shampoos."

"Oh, ja, dat's it!" Toki moved closer to Skwisgaar, smelling his hair. "Da shampoo peoples must puts dat smell in yous shampoos."

"I's guess sos." The blonde agreed, turning towards Toki. "Stops smellings my hair. Yous in my personals space."

"No, I's not." Toki smirked, moving even closer to him. "Nows I am." He leaned forward and placed his lips on Skwisgaar's.

"Toki!" Skwisgaar pulled away. "Someone's might sees us."

"Ah, yous worry-warts." Toki smiled, prancing away happily.

"Maybes yous should tries to use some shampoos for a change, yous idiot dildoes!" Skwisgaar shouted to Toki, trying hard not to drop the gardenias.

Theme #12: Home Movies

"Hi, Skwisgaar!" Toki giggled, walking up behind the lead guitarist. Skwisgaar sighed, turning in his chair to face Toki.

"Ugh, whats are you doings…" Skwisgaar stopped, seeing that Toki had a video camera in his hand. "Is dat thing ons?"

"Uh-huh!" Toki smiled. "Say his to da camera, Skwisgaar."

"Toki, turns dat offs. I looks like shit and I'ms not in da moods."

"Oh, yous such a grouch." Toki pouted. "Just says hi!"

Skwisgaar looked up at Toki. It's been a few days since their house caught on fire and Toki stopped drinking excessively. Seeing Toki in a good mood was pretty rare these past few weeks. The blonde man sighed once more, deciding to play along with Toki. "Okays. Hiz… camera."

"Yay!" The rhythm guitarist clapped. "Now blows me a kiss."

"Is anyones else going to be seeing dis?" Skwisgaar asked.

"No, just us." Toki reassured. Skwisgaar nodded.

"Okays." He blew a kiss towards the camera.

"Tee-hee." Toki giggled again. He leaned in closer to Skwisgaar, holding the camera so it was facing them both. "Okays, now you kisses me for reals."

"Dat's no problem." Skwisgaar smirked, catching Toki's lips with his own. He decided to go further and grabbed the brunette's hips, taking him onto his lap and making the kiss deeper.

"Mmph…" Toki moaned, slowly breaking the kiss.

"Shalls we takes da camera to my room?" Skwisgaar asked, kissing him again.

"O-Okays, but…" Toki said, blushing.

"But what?"

"I needs to get the stand, and more batteries."

"Ja, dis could be a longs home movies."

Theme #13: A Short Poem by Skwisgaar Skwigelf

How many women equal Toki Wartooth?

Is Toki's love better than one woman?

Two women?

Three?

Ten?

One thousand?

One million?

The answer is none, because Toki is one-of-a-kind and equals no one.

How many kisses of groupies equal Toki's kisses?

Can Toki's kiss equal that of one groupie?

Two groupies?

Three?

Ten?

One thousand?

One million?

The answer is none, because Toki's kisses are the absolute best and equal no one's.

Theme #14: Ancient Cassette-Player

"Skwisgaar!" Toki called over to him, who just got out of the shower. "Looks what I finds in your closets!"

"Whats were yous doings in my closets?" Was the first thing Skwisgaar said. He finished wrapping the towel around his waist before looking up, seeing Toki holding his old cassette-player up by the wire. "Don't breaks it more than it is."

"Ja, it's ones ofs those casket-players." Toki placed it on the bed, untangling the headphones.

"You means cassette, Toki." Skwisgaar corrected him. "I used it whens I was in my first bands fors guitar-part ideas." He sat on the bed, looking at the old, dusty cassette-player. "I thinks it's broken."

"Ja?" Toki pushed the play button, and a scratchy sound pierced their eardrums. "Owie…" Toki fast-forwarded it a little until the loud scratchiness was gone. Then, they heard a fuzzy guitar playing. "Dat's you?" Toki asked.

"Ja." Skwisgaar answered. Toki listened a little more.

"Yous was still goods back then." Toki complimented. Skwisgaar shrugged. "Dos you still wants dis recordings?"

"No, dat songs was dildoes."

"Okay." Toki picked up the player and pressed the record button. "Toki loves Skwisgaar, yes he does!" He sang into it, making a kissing sound at the end of it. He put it down and handed it to Skwisgaar. "Dat song's not dildoes." He smiled, leaving the room. Skwisgaar snickered.

"No, but da ones who mades it is."

Theme #15: Perfect Blue

Skwisgaar's eyes are the perfect shade of blue, Toki thought. It wasn't just average, crayon-colored blue that sat in those sockets. They were perfect, just like he was. Maybe the color could be compared to that of the ocean, shimmering all different shades of bold and selfish blue during the day, and a solid, lusty blue at night. Comparable as it may seem, they were still only the colors of Skwisgaar's eyes, Toki thought, and only his.

Toki's eyes were a perfect shade of blue, Skwisgaar thought. No other color seemed to exist in the world, it seemed. He'd never seen such a brilliant blue before. Such a strange and ever-changing blue of those eyes. His eyes were kind of like an ice storm, constantly swirling and changing in mood and emotions, the ice slicing into your own eyes, then finally stopping when they felt content. Comparable as it may seem, they were still only Toki's eyes, Skwisgaar thought, and only his.

Theme #16 & Theme #26: Only Mine

Someday… someday my love will see me, only me, as his one and only love.

He will never care for anyone but me in this world.

His blue eyes will see only me.

His full lips will kiss only mine.

His long fingers will lace with only mine.

His thin body will rock with only mine.

His love – and his lust – will connect with only mine.

That day… that day is far away.

So I will be patient, and wait for him.

And then… and then he will be only mine.

Theme #17: Hangover

Skwisgaar rolled over in his bed, his stomach hurting and his head spinning. Ah, can'ts hardly remembers whats I did last nights… He thought, rubbing his head. Toki… He remembered the little Norwegian and reached out to the other side of the bed, trying to find him. He wasn't there; just disheveled sheets and a beer bottle filled his hand. Stills warm… Skwisgaar thought, rubbing the sheets carefully. Toki must bes around here somewheres.

He sat up, albeit rather slowly, and looked around the room. It was trashed; there were empty bottles of alcohol and their smelly, wrinkled clothes scattered all over the floor. The TV was on, but it was on mute so their fun could continue undisturbed. Skwisgaar looked to the window, and the sun burned his eyes. "Ooh…" He quickly turned away. He lay back down again, deciding to find Toki some other time and try to sleep some more.

Suddenly, he heard his bathroom door creak open very loudly. His eyes opened anxiously, the noise hurting his sensitive ears. Then, he heard footsteps coming his way, each one amplified by his alcohol-effected eardrums. He groaned inwardly, the horrid sounds becoming louder as they got closer. Finally, he looked up, and saw Toki hovering above him from behind the bed, showing a really dumb-ass grin. And then… Skwisgaar Skwigelf heard the absolute worst sound you could hear when you've got a hangover:

"HHHIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZ, SKWIIIIIISSSSSSGAAAAAARRR!!!"

"Ugh, Toki… my head…" Skwisgaar thought his ears would bleed. "Nots so louds."

"But I'ms not…"

"Toki…" The blonde man pulled Toki down and kissed him to silence that sound. "Stops talkings and gets in bed."

Theme #18: Eplekake

Skwisgaar and Toki sat in on the couch, watching TV and eating dessert. When dinner was over, the band would all pick a dessert from the kitchen and disperse around the house.

Skwisgaar picked a fudge cake this evening – which was somewhat of a usual for him. Either that or popsicles, but they were all out. Toki, he noticed, wasn't eating from his usual candy bowl or stuffing his face with cookies. He was eating a fluffy cake that had chunks of some kind of fruit in it. He also put whipped cream on top.

"Hey." Skwisgaar called to the brunette from the other side of the couch. Toki turned his head towards the Swede. "What kinds of desserts is dat?"

"Oh, ja, dis is eplekake." Toki said with his mouth full.

"Donts you means 'applescake?'" Skwisgaar corrected him.

"No, eplekake. Says it ons da box." Toki explained. "Norwegian delecstasy. Gots it ats da food place." He took a piece onto his fork and shoved it in Skwisgaar's face. "Trys it!"

"No thanks, Toki." Skwisgaar looked away.

"Please!" Toki whined.

"No." The blonde continued watching TV.

"Hmph!" Toki pouted, taking the fork back and eating it himself. The Swede looked back at the little Norwegian, finding his pouty chewing rather cute.

"Oh, alrights." Skwisgaar put down his cake and moved close to Toki. "I'll trys it." Toki looked confused as Skwisgaar grabbed either side of his face and leaned in tongue first. The Swedish man's tongue delved deep inside Toki's mouth, finding the half chewed cake piece, and taking it into his own mouth. He pulled away, finished chewing and swallowed, all while Toki was still dazed. "Mmm… delicious." He said. "I'll haves more of dat Norwegian delecstasy later tonight."

Theme #19 & #21: Past Disorder

"Mmmgh… Skwisgaar…" Toki moaned as the Swede tied his wrists to the bedpost, kissing his neck roughly while he made the finishing touches. Skwisgaar got up and looked down at the brunette. He was on his knees, his ass arched up in the air, waiting to be taken. "Skwisgaar, I need…"

"I knows, Toki." Skwisgaar whispered. "Buts, are you sures?"

"Ja, Skwisgaar, you knows I ams." Toki squeaked, already starting to sweat.

"Okay." The lead guitarist had to do this to Toki once in a while. Usually, he didn't mind being a little rough, but when Toki got like this way, it wasn't something he'd like to do. Toki has a disorder that he had gotten many years ago when his father used to beat and whip him. But Skwisgaar, who's not paid to think, didn't know what else to do.

Skwisgaar yanked the collar that Toki had around his neck, the tiny spikes slightly irritating his skin. He spanked the little Norwegian roughly, then let go of the collar to pry open his entrance with his thumbs. Toki shrieked, feeling those adroit thumbs penetrating his opening.

"I cans sees inside you, Toki." Skwisgaar teased. "I can tells you'ves been a good boy." Skwisgaar looked around for some kind of lube. His eyes stopped on the glass of water on the dresser, with three ice cubes inside. He smirked and took an ice cube from the glass, and then ran it slowly between Toki's cheeks.

"Ah!" Toki jumped at the sudden cold. He shivered, goose bumps forming where the ice touched. Skwisgaar smiled and, without warning, shoved the ice cube inside his mate. "NNNGH!"

"Toki…" Skwisgaar, while waiting for the cube to melt inside the younger man, picked up the riding crop that was under the bed. "Yous reals hot inside, Toki. It meltsted fast." He undid his own pants, then positioned himself at Toki's opening. "You readys?" Skwisgaar asked, but didn't wait for a reply. He pushed himself all the way in, not slowing down or stopping.

"Agh…" Toki screamed in pain, saliva running down his chin and tears down his cheeks. Skwisgaar immediately continued, thrusting in and out of the tight hole, already going at a rapid pace. "Ah-hah…"

"You likes dis, don't yous, little Toki?" Skwisgaar held the riding crop tight. "Says you likes it." He cracked the whip on his lower back.

"AAH! JA… Ja, Skwisgaar…"

"Says the whole things." He whipped him again in the same place, leaving a red mark.

"I likes it, Skwisgaar! I likes it!"

"Good Toki." Skwisgaar dropped the riding crop and raked his fingernails down Toki's already scarred back, leaving red welts, but definitely nothing that would leave something permanent. Skwisgaar knew he had enough of those already. "Nngh… Toki…" The blonde felt his orgasm coming, and he gripped Toki's ass roughly.

"Skwisgaar! YAAAAH!" Toki felt the hot release fill him. He released, too, all over the sheets. Then, he fainted, the orgasm too much for him. Skwisgaar realized this, and pulled out of his lover, finding that his ass was bleeding.

"Shit." Skwisgaar mumbled, finding a tissue and wiping the blood away. "Oh, Toki…" He thought. "I hopes you don't thinks I'm like your fathers… I don'ts want to be dis means to you. Ever."

Theme #20 & #22: Touring

Dethklok was finally coming home after a concert tour. The guys were hanging around in the bus. Toki was in his own room, trying to make models. Of course, whenever the bus hit a bump, he'd have to start over.

Skwisgaar peeked inside Toki's room before sneaking in and taking the model airplane away from behind.

"Hey!" Toki turned to his tormentor. "I was workings on dat!"

"Dildoes." Skwisgaar said, throwing the model over his shoulder. "You can'ts finish dis ons da bus." He leaned down, his face inches from Toki's. "We shoulds be doings other things."

"Skwisgaar…" Toki blushed, knowing what he was talking about. "But, da others…"

"Deys won't hear." Skwisgaar took his band-mate's arm and stood him up. "Ands da bumps will makes it more fun." He pushed Toki against the far wall. "We haven'ts dones dis since da tour started." He moved the brown hair out of the way and licked his neck.

"Mmm…" Toki moaned. "Ja, yous right, Skwisgaar."

"Aren'ts I always?" The Swede smirked, then pressed his lips against the other's roughly and nibbling on his bottom lip. The two guitarists pressed their tongues together, battling for dominance.

"Mmm… Toki…" Skwisgaar pulled the brunette's shirt over his head and ran his long fingers down those hard pecs and abs. Toki mewled delightedly, biting down on his finger so no one would hear his noises. Skwisgaar licked his way down Toki's front while getting to his knees and undoing Toki's pants. He pulled them down, revealing Toki to his blue eyes. "You gets excited so fast."

"Sh-shut up." Toki whispered. Skwisgaar didn't feel like wasting time anymore. He took Toki's penis in his mouth, and nudged his fingers at his entrance. "AH!" Toki moaned, spreading his legs, giving the blonde man more access. Skwisgaar licked the head first, then the shaft, and down to Toki's scrotum. Meanwhile, he already had three fingers inside the Norwegian. Toki must want this as badly as Skwisgaar does. "Skwisgaar, please…!"

"Okay, fine. I's puts it in, now." Skwisgaar feigned annoyance. He stood up and took Toki to the small bed, bending him forwards. He undid his own pants and pulled out his erection. He nudged it at Toki's hole.

"Skwisgaar, don't teases me!" Toki was blushing like mad, now. The blonde nodded, then pushed all the way in slowly. "Ooooh…"

"So tight…" Skwisgaar started thrusting, enjoying Toki's little yelps of pain and pleasure. "Now where's dat spot?" Skwisgaar probed around until his lover made a loud squeak. "Deres it is." He began hitting that spot faster, gripping Toki's hips, pulling him in to the thrusts.

"Sk-Skwis… GAAAAR!" Toki came, and Skwisgaar followed, filling him up to the brim. They collapsed on the bed next to each other. "Dat was greats." Toki panted.

"Ja." Skwisgaar simply agreed.

"So… what's we does now?"

"Hmm…" Skwisgaar looked at the clock. "We'ves got fifteens minutes till we gets home."

"Hey, I knows! Let's cuddles!"

"What's 'cuddles' means?" Skwisgaar asked.

"You knows, huggings and snugglings!" Toki answered cutely.

"Oh, dat." The Swede smiled. "Okay, we's do dats, den."

"Alrights!" Toki scooted next to his mate and curled up on his side, his arm resting on Skwisgaar's chest. Skwisgaar smiled bigger, putting one arm around Toki's waist and another around his head, patting his slightly sweaty hair. He watched his cute lover cuddle him as they rode home.

^V^