Sorry it took so long for the second chapter, the third will be coming out sooner.


Naruto retrieved Sasuke from his class that had just ended to walk him back to the dorms. They both had to wait three more hours for their next class to start. The next class they shared, which Naruto didn't understand since Sasuke could have easily tested out of college algebra. "You know, I think it would be awesome to have Jiraiya as a teacher. Think about it, I can sit there and doze off during class and bug him about the lesson later when it's more at my convenience than the schools. That'd be awesome."

"Jiraiya's an idiot, and a sexist. I don't know how they let him teach here. You barely learn anything, except how to size girl's clothing and the cup size, which is more than useless." Sasuke said. He pulled out a bottle of water, removed the cap and down the entire top half. He came away gasping a bit. "It's also dryer then the desert in there. I think I might buy him a humidifier to put in his room, I'd even take the time to fill it up everyday."

"I keep telling him to put his coffee maker in his room, but does he listen to a good idea…" Naruto said looking to the side. He caught a glimpse of a white suit and just jerked his head back to Sasuke as quickly as possible. He acted like it was nothing and once again Orochimaru wasn't stalking them in their daily lives. "What? The coffee maker let's out steam, and he could sell cups to his students since his classes aren't that big and that thing's monstrous. He'd get a free humidifier and make enough money to pay for his coffee habit. … And Tsunade's coffee habit… Hopefully."

Naruto laughed a bit uneasy until he looked up and felt Sasuke's hand land in the middle of his chest. 'Uh…' Escaped the blonde's lips as he looked to find Orochimaru standing in front of them. Sasuke sighed deeply, knowing what was coming. He was brooding already so this just made his mood solidify even more. It was another nervous stand off until they heard sirens somewhere, indicating that someone saw one of the cronies and had called the cops. Sasuke gracefully tilted his head to each side until a load cracking noise burst the stiff air. "Naruto, stick to the plan."

"So, you are following in big brother's footprints." A spotted laugh followed Orochimaru and then died out. "Let me guess, you signed up for the writing classes. Madara had been talking about you, you know. He was so proud that you aced all you summer classes a year ago, then so disappointed that you quit. He's really upset. I'll tell him you didn't care. It'd piss him off, which is one of my favorite things to do over afternoon tea."

"Thanks, because I wasn't going to tell him myself. Once again, I'll politely ask you to fuck off and leave me alone. You're bothering me and interrupting my day. How would you feel if I just randomly came up and stalked you every second of everyday?" Sasuke said and shoved Naruto away. He gave the blond a glare, which made him follow the plan. The start running and lure out whoever else was there. He ran back towards the campus's literary building and was quickly stopped by Hidan, dressed as a goth, and Kakuzu, dressed in a nice suit. Naruto stopped and backed up near Sasuke. He tilted his head back and softly whispered, "The old one and the crazy one."

"Let Naruto go, he has no value to you or Madara, unless you want to know how to play football. It's not like he ever does anything anyway." Sasuke said with a straight face. He waited and Orochimaru began to run towards him. Of course, only Sasuke and his mutated eyes could keep up with the paces of the genetically enhanced. Orochimaru was in slow motion to Sasuke, his steps seeming to be fake and movie-like. Orochimaru had halved the distance between them when something else, moving much faster behind Orochimaru came into view. There was a spot of blond hair over Orochimaru's shoulder followed by a man's hand with a wedding band on it gripping Orochimaru's shoulder. Suddenly Orochimaru was flung and stopped by landing on his face and sliding for twenty yards on the soft grass. The man stood there, his back facing Sasuke, and scratched his head. He then stretched in a bright blue Hawaiian tiki shirt, pair of Capri khakis and was finally adorned with flip flops. The man scratched his back and finally turned around.

He stretched both arms out wide now and even a leg. That proved to be bad and he fell over. Some dust and dirt flew up in the air in puffs around him. "Och… I'm not used to pavement… It's too hard."

"What the hell is that guy? He's like a strung out version of Orochimaru." Kakuzu asked walking up next to Sasuke. The Uchiha shrugged and watched as the man tried to pick dirt out of his graying-blond beard after a wobbly success at sitting up. "Hidan, watch yourself."

"Hey, I found Hancock!" Hidan said quietly as he nudged Naruto and pointed, clearly ignoring his partner. The two laughed quietly until the man miraculously stood, although a bit unstable. He slowly began to walk over and looked at the four of them. "Um…"

He pulled out a picture of Sasuke and held it up. He compared the two year old photo to the man standing in front of him. "Grew your hair out, the ponytails a nice touch. You're the Uchiha right?" The man hiccupped. "I'm supposed to keep you safe… So who do I toss outta here? Or is it nobody?"

He hiccupped again, the smell of whiskey floating off his breath. Sasuke was questioning on who to trust, but figured a drunk was better then a masochist and an accountant. Sasuke stuck out two thumbs and pointed in the middle of Kakuzu's and Hidan's chests. "These two."

"I thought…" Hiccup. "I thought so, forgive my drunkenness, it was cheap." He said and was quickly gone from sight with Hidan and Kakuzu sliding down by Orochimaru's feet. "I thought one of them was genetically modified."

"The first one was." Sasuke said quickly and stuck out his hand. The man looked at it, seemingly confused, then shook it with authority and dropped it quickly. The drunkard turned to Naruto and smiled patting him on the head. Sasuke coughed getting the attention back to him. "Sasuke Uchiha, year one Advanced Literary track. And you are?"

"Literary… Literary… Hey, you know Jiraiya, I read he started working here." He hiccupped again until he saw another person begin to walk up. He pointed and waited on Sasuke's verdict. Sasuke turned around and shook his head. He lowered his hand but an ecstatic Nagato grabbed it.

"I'm such a huge fan of your work. I loved the dissertation on cellular applications that can help cause regeneration; it's been the back bone…" He pulled his hand away and patted him on the head like his was a little kid. Nagato glared confused. "Um… Sir, I'm honored to meet you. I've studied your work, I'm a biochemist."

"Don't be so into your work that you think I'm like that, I'm a drunk and I fail, and fall, consistently." He hiccupped and then stabilized himself via the hand on Nagato's head. "Sorry 'bout that. Now, you look like you need to stop piercing yourself, get yourself a wife, and enjoy your short mortality, because unlike me, you might still have a chance to do something great. Now, where's ole perverted and grey? He owes me money."

He hiccupped again. He turned to Naruto. "I am really sorry about the hiccup thing. I will get over it, I promise. I just need to stop drinking too much, correct? You can help me later." He patted Naruto on the head again, smiling. He began pushing past them and glaring around like the tourists do when they visit some place spectacular.

"He's a disoriented alcoholic… Dear God… all my life…" Nagato suddenly fell into a vortex of disappointment. Sasuke flicked him on the noise causing Nagato to snap back to reality with a jolt. "Hey, watch it."

"Go home to Konan, and stop whining like a five year old. All mentors and heroes disappoint the people who look up to them at some point. You should expect this by now." Sasuke turned, grabbing Naruto's hand, and dragged him after the drunk. "Why do we always attract strange people? It's like Suigetsu stuck a giant sign on us that says, 'Hey, we'll put up with your bullshit.'"

"Well, better us then, say, some five year old. Or someone who wasn't involved in the first place. Ten to one, if it hadn't been us, who ever it was, would have wound up dead." Naruto said as they caught up with the man who was reading the building. "Jiraiya should be in his office, it's the first door on your left. Once you get inside."

"Awesome." He slowly went up the stairs with Sasuke and Naruto following and whispering about the man, trying to figure out exactly where he came from and what he was doing. He went inside, knocked on Jiraiya's door twice, kicked it once and went in. The minute the door opened he hiccupped in front of Jiraiya and Tsunade. Jiraiya's jaw dropped as Tsunade covered her gasping mouth with her hands. "Hey pops, hey ma, you two get married yet?"

"Um… No." Jiaraiya quickly stood up from the chair Tsunade had forced him too and offered it to him. He took the seat and hiccup, then quickly apologized for it. "So… you…? What happened to you?"

"Went crazy, got drunk, and woke up about two years ago. My nanny got pissed at me and said I had to do something, I think I just need to sober up a bit and get a therapist." He said quickly. He, realizing what he had said, shrugged. "I'll explain later. Oh, pops, can I crash with you? I kind of don't have anywhere to stay right now. You know, wake up in Mexico, no money, no home. That ol' chestnut."

"Of course, but, there is limited drinking in my house, and nothing nearly as good as what's on your breath." Jiraiya muttered however Tsunade stood up, waded around the desk, her heels carving into the woodwork and slapped him straight across the face. Jiraiya went silent as he watched Tsunade's vein in her forehead begin to grow.

"How dare you come in here begging for favors! You've been gone 18 odd years! You abandoned your family and friends for a wild goose chase!" Tsunade gripped his shirt in her palms, pulled him out of the chair and shoved him into the wall. "We thought you were dead!"

Her sentence screamed through the full halls, causing everything to go silent, the students stopping and turning to where the deans have their afternoon tea. Naruto and Sasuke both felt the scream creep up their backs as they were on the outside wall waiting to be told what was happening. That seemed less likely to happen now. Naruto quickly went to damage control. "Hehe… Nothing to see here, Tsunade's just reading… reading off of a script. You know how she and Jiaraiya just love those drama plays. I think it might be the fall play, but nothing here to see."

Naruto quickly shoved Sasuke in the office. "It's okay folks, go back to your business." Naruto pushed himself inside the small office and slammed the door closed. He sighed and looked up at Tsunade. "Okay, calm down. We talked about your anger; use words not your fists. Remember your last date?"

Tsunade growled and went back to her seat. She grabbed her tea, downed it, and starred at the man. Her hand gripped the cup, she calming down, spared the little glass dish from breaking. "You're going under full medical surveillance… You'll stay in the old medical building."

"No…"

"Yes! Or I'll have you arrest for being drunk in public! You waltz in here as if nothing has happened, all your responsibilities fell on Jiraiya! He had to take over everything! You abandoned your post and your responsibilities!"

The man edged foreword and leaned over the desk. He calmly whispered, "What did you do, ma, when you lost Dan? Didn't you run away to Québec for three years? Dan didn't mean half as much to you as Kushina did to me, so don't lecture me! I tried to save her! I tried…" He sat back down in the chair Jiraiya gave him. "I'm sorry, Tsu, but I did what seemed necessary at the time."

"No, you do have a point there, but, get checked up. I'll have one of my male students do it off the record as patient X." He nodded. Tsunade sat back calmly and pour a new cup of tea. She pushed it foreword and he took it. "We'll have to get you detoxified over the next 24 hours, no booze, no drugs of any kind."

"I know the drill, I invented it." He said calmly. He hiccupped and took a small drink. "So, now that we've got that off our chests, I've been sent here to help out… That one. Nine sent me. Hiya. Um… Yeah, don't bleed. Treat yourself like you have AIDs, because if Orohimaru gets a bit of it, yea, he said that was bad."

He scratched at his scalp until he tugged one out, it was a frizzy grey hair. He sighed and dropped it on the floor. "Hey, pops, you mind taking me out for food, I am starving. I threw up the airplane food at the airport. By the way, never eat the lobster with the ketchup, it's just nasty."

He looked over at Naruto when he said that and smiled. "So who are you, anyway?" Naruto asked. The man bit his lip, he looked down and didn't know what to say. Instead as a nervousl twitch he began scratching again.

"It's obvious, Naruto, this is Minato Namikaze, this is your father." Jiriaya said softly.