Two droids landed on a giant desert. Of course, they could not argue, so they started singing. However delightful you may find Binary singing, we decided to remove that part for the sake of our readers.
O*O*O
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my faintest hope. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my faintest me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my faintest me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my faintest me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my faintest hope." Artoo seemed to have gotten stuck on repeat. Luke smashed his dome it, wondering who this "Obi-Wan Kenobi" could be (He did not see the giant, neon sign outside the garage that said "Ben Kenobi is Obi-Wan! Kill the Emperor"). Likewise, "Ben" Kenobi did not see the 14 million stormtroopers outside his hut, but fortuntatly accidentally scared them off by accidentally beheading some when he went out to practice with his lightsaber.
O*O*O
After Luke had almost died, he saw his savoir. He wore a dark, black, hood, and carried a dangerous looking green blade. He was also blue and transparent. He looked at the person he saved. "You're not Obi-Wan!" He then started to move his blade twords Luke's neck, then another person appeared.
"Qui-Gon! Stop attacking that fellow! How many times have I told you that no matter how much you hated the now-mostly-dead Jedi Council, the best way to seek revenge is not by following the ways of the Sith with your ghost?" He then turned towords Luke. "Sorry, that's Qui-Gon, my old Master. He gets a little bit rough with strangers, but he's really quite nice, if eccentric, once you get to know him." Poor Luke was very confused.
When they got back to the hut, Luke convinced Artoo to play the message.
"Years ago you killed my father's father's brother's counsin's son in the Clone Wars. Did you know that I am related to driod BD#19364832648247284872947229? Anyway, I need you to go and get an astriod of exactly 7.47279389204204204843922992923 decigrams, then transport it to Alderraan. After you have done that, you must land the center of that astriod at exacltly 3.141592653589N, 1.414213562373W. Once you have done that, you must dance on top of the exact center of the astriod for 12345678912345678912345678912345678912456789 seconds, then jump up 20 feet in the air and shoot of a green firework with exactly 5738258382884 grains of explosives in it. When you have done that, my planet will be saved. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are my faintest hope.
Luke looked unsure of wheter or not to laugh, while Obi-Wan was rendered speachless and looked utterly astounded. Qui-Gon, on the other hand, kept a perfectly straight face and said, "If that will save her planet that that is what you must do, Obi-Wan."
O*O*O
At the spaceport...
"What do you mean we have to 'go and get an astriod of exactly 7.47279389204204204843922992923 decigrams, then transport it to Alderraan. After you have done that, you must land the center of that astriod at exacltly 3.141592653589N, 1.414213562373W. Once you have done that, you must dance on top of the exact center of the astriod for 12345678912345678912345678912345678912456789 seconds, then jump up 20 feet in the air and shoot of a green firework with exactly 5738258382884 grains of explosives in it'? That makes absolutly no sense at all? How the heck is that going to save a planet?"
"That is what she told us to do, and so that is what we must do. I'll give you pi."
"Pie! Okay!"
O*O^O*O^O*O^O*O^O*O^O*O
Luke Skywalker was upset. Very upset. Besides have your house burned down and your Aunt and Uncle killed by weird guys dressed in white, there was this idiot hermit guy sitting next to him who seemed to think he was allowed to force a poor 20-year-old "boy" onto a ship just because he save his life. And, on top of that, said hermit could never remember his (Luke's) name, or that he told Luke his name. Talking with him was VERY redundant, kind of like Java code.
"What's your name again, sunny? Did I tell you that my name was Ben?"
"My name is Luke, Ben. And yes, for the 33734429572957523857923870987978748649683747th time, you have."
"I have felt a great disturbance in the fuzz, as if millions of voices cried out and were silenced."
"That was probably just Chewie vacuuming the carpet," the co-pilot in question was currently vacuuming under Han's chair, accendently catching his head with the hose, "OWWWW! Watch where that thing goes!"
"Oh! Is he chewy?" Luke's stupidity was only rivled by his idiocy.
"beep boo beep beep." Translation: 110010101010000111101010101011001111100010110010000. Enlgish: You idiots! That was a giant battle station blowing up a planet! And it's the Force, not the fuzz!"
"I don't think I can translate that, Artoo. That has a bad word in it."
"boo boo beep beep beep boo boo beep." Translation: 111111111111111000101010110000000010101101010101010110101. Translation to English failed due to frenzied swearing.
"How dare you say that to me, you insolent scrap heap!"
*0*0*0*
After the wonderfully NON G RATED planet go bye-bye sceneā¦
Hey! There's the astriod that we need!
"That astriod happens to be part of the planet we were supposed to deliver it too. Hey! Shiny moon-like thing! Lets go land on it!"
That's it for now. This has been severly edited.
