Chapter 2

Kadaj woke up in a warm bed in a place he did not know. He remembered taking in the Jenova cells what seemed like months ago, and he also remembered seeing Cloud. Beyond that, he recalled nothing, only a feeling of having been invaded, mind and body.

Kadaj sensed that he was wearing nothing, and all his wounds had been healed. He sat up and examined his surroundings. He was in a dark room in a huge bed. There was a door to his left and a chair with some clothes on it. To his right was a small table with a note written and a lamp. He edged over to the table and flicked on the light, almost blinded by the sudden, strong illumination.

Kadaj,

You can wear the clothes I left for you if you want. When you feel ready, you can go down the hall to the right and I'll cook you something since you're probably hungry.

Cloud

Kadaj read the note again and put it back on the table, then slid out of bed and padded across the room to get whatever clothes Cloud had left him. He put on the loose-fitting black pants and shirt, wishing he had his own clothes. The pants were a size too big, so they rode his hips low, but they didn't fall down. Even if they did fall, the shirt was long enough that it wouldn't be too embarrassing.

He shook his silver hair out of his face and went out the door. The hall was a bit lighter than the room he had been in, so it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. Kadaj walked down the hall, peering into any open doors he saw in hopes of finding Cloud, but saw no one. The place he was in seemed as dead and quiet as a grave and just as abandoned. He got to the end of the hall, opened the last door he came across and went in.

"Ni-san?" he looked around, the room he was in appeared to be a kitchen. He saw Cloud standing in front of the stove, stirring what looked like soup. "Ni-san, where am I?" Kadaj stood right beside Cloud and peeked at what was in the pot. Finding whatever sludge he was cooking to be disgusting, he studied Cloud instead.

"Did you sleep ok?" Cloud didn't even look away from the simmering pot. He didn't seem to care very much about Kadaj, like he had just asked so that the situation wouldn't be so awkward.

"No," Kadaj stated bluntly, "Where am I?" he asked again, this time more impatient.

"Home."

"Which is where?" Kadaj persisted. Cloud sighed and finally looked at the boy. This was the charge which Aerith had left him, so he had to take care of him. It was going to be hard, the marionette looked so much like Sephiroth; the same haunting green eyes and silvery hair.

"Have you looked outside?" Cloud kept being evasive, which was upsetting Kadaj even more than not knowing where he was.

"Well, there aren't exactly any windows," Kadaj grumbled, "What kind of muck are you making?" he scrutinized the pot once again, finding it just as revolting as before.

"Food."

Kadaj glared at Cloud for a few seconds before elbowing him in the ribs and turning away. He was upset about being ignored, he was upset about not knowing where he was, he was upset most of all because he felt simply terrible, physically and mentally. He was also rather hurt that Cloud disregarded him even when he hit him. He felt hot tears sting at his eyes and blinked them out, then stalked out of the room without a backwards glance.

Cloud turned off the stove and buried his face in his hands, then ran his fingers through his spiky hair. He didn't know whether it was harder to ignore Kadaj or accept his presence. He knew that the teen would eventually go back to the life stream just as Sephiroth had. He didn't want to get too attached to Kadaj, he would be that much harder to let go of.

He ladled out two portions of the soup that Kadaj had scoffed upon and set one on the table for himself, and left the other on the counter to take to Kadaj later. As soon as he sat down and looked at the liquid, he lost his appetite. He suddenly felt bad about being so cold to the teen, after all he had just come to true consciousness. The last thing Kadaj needed was to have no support to help him through the first days of his awakening. Cloud groaned at his feebleness and stood up, collecting the soup from the counter along with a spoon and began the trek to Kadaj's room.

He knocked on the door and hoped that Kadaj had indeed gone back to his room, he didn't want to have to look through the entire house for the teen. When no one answered, he let himself in. The room was empty. Cloud grumbled something incoherent and set the soup down on the table.

"If I was Kadaj... where would I have gone?" Cloud mumbled. The answer was as far from Cloud as possible. He left the room and turned left. At the end of the hall, he went the only room Kadaj could have gone in from there, peeking through the door before actually entering.

Sure enough, Kadaj was sulking in a big armchair in Cloud's personal library. It looked as if he had been reading a book and gave up, finding it too dull to continue. When Cloud entered the room, he looked up quickly, then turned away, curling up with his back to the door.

"I brought you soup. It's chocobo stew," Cloud said gently, coming up beside the teen and setting down the bowl on a nearby desk.

"You killed a chocobo?" Kadaj asked doubtingly, not bothering with the soup, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"No, that was a joke. It's ramen noodle. Have you had it?" Cloud kneeled down beside the teen and attempted to make conversation, but he doubted Kadaj would be so willing to talk to him now.

"No. It looks and smells positively foul." Kadaj said monotonously, silently fighting with himself about whether to venture making a real discussion with Cloud again. "... Where am I?"

"My home. We're far north, near the crater. I found it about two years ago and fixed it up a bit. It's pretty big, so I'll show you around later. No one knows where it is except me, and now you." Cloud put his elbow on the chair and rested his head on his hand, looking at Kadaj.

"Oh," Kadaj couldn't think of anything else to say, so he continued looking at the floor. Cloud smiled at Kadaj's awkwardness and remembered a time when he was much the same.

"So, how old are you?" Cloud asked, he had guessed the boy was about nineteen or so.

"You won't believe me." Kadaj smirked, looking at Cloud at last.

"Try me." Cloud tried not to appear too startled at the teen's eyes. They were just as deep and cruel as Sephiroth's. He fought the urge to look away from the deep emerald eyes, keeping his gaze straight.

"Sixteen." Kadaj broke eye contact and looked back at the floor. Only sixteen. Cloud was somewhat shocked that the incredibly strong boy was only sixteen, but before he could think to hard on it, Kadaj interrupted his thoughts. "Ni-san, what happened after Mother?" The question had been bothering Kadaj since he had woken up. There was a huge gap in his memory that only Cloud could fill. Cloud leaned back, sitting cross-legged on the floor. This was going to be hard to explain.

"Well... Sephiroth appeared." Cloud stated. Kadaj looked at him funny, as if saying 'that much was obvious.' "And we fought..." again, obvious, "And he went back to the life stream." Cloud struggled with the words, Kadaj didn't need to know what had happened, how he felt.

"You're leaving things out. I can feel it," Kadaj said, "What's he like? Sephiroth?" he stared at Cloud expecting an answer. Cloud didn't know what to say. He didn't want Kadaj to think the Angel was a cold blooded murderer, though he was in some aspect, but he didn't want anyone else to know Sephiroth as he had.

"You'll meet him someday." Cloud left the conversation at that. He reached up for the soup and tasted it to make sure it wasn't too hot, then offered it to Kadaj.

"You expect me to eat that?" Kadaj looked at the food and wrinkled his nose in disdain.

"Would you rather starve?" Cloud held out the offending soup and hoped Kadaj would eat it, otherwise they would have some real problems.

"Fine, I'll eat that... gunk." Kadaj grumbled, taking the bowl and spoon. Cloud snickered at the look of revulsion on the teen's face, earning himself a glare. Kadaj sipped at the soup cautiously. Finding it to be just as repulsive as it looked, he set it back down on the desk and glared at Cloud again.

"Taste nasty?"

"... How do you eat that... garbage?" Kadaj demanded an answer.

"You are one the only one on this planet that doesn't like ramen soup. It's practically a delicacy." Cloud stood and stretched, "Let me show you around." Kadaj nodded and stood from his seat, pulling his pants up as he did.

"Do you have any different clothes? These are too big." Kadaj asked, standing in front of Cloud. Cloud nodded and motioned for him to follow him out of the room. He led the boy to his own room, right next to Kadaj's.

"Any particular color preference?" he asked while Kadaj looked around the room. The bed was just as big as his, but the rest of the room was just as dark and a bit bigger than his.

"Something dark." Kadaj answered. "Is there somewhere I can bathe?" he asked sheepishly, looking away to hide his blush.

"Yeah, through that door over there," he pointed across the room, "I'll come in and help you work it after I get you something that fits." He then went back to searching as Kadaj went into his spacious bathroom. He joined the teen a few moments later to find that the teen had already taken off his shirt, revealing flawless, light honey toned skin. He cleared his throat nervously to get Kadaj's attention and set the clothes he had picked out on the bathroom counter, then went past the teen to the bathtub.

"Do you want to take a bath or a shower?" he asked, turning on the water, adjusting the knob to warm.

"I don't care." Kadaj picked through the clothes Cloud had picked, tight black pants and a dark blue button up shirt.

"Shower it is. Are the clothes ok?" he turned on the shower and stepped back to avoid getting sprayed.

"Yeah. Thank you, Ni-san." Kadaj nodded to Cloud and waited for the older man to leave before stripping the rest of the way and stepping into the shower.

The next week went by quickly, Kadaj now knew his way around Cloud's home as well as Cloud did. He had eaten almost nothing, choking down ramen when he could and depending on water and fruit the rest of the time. He spent most of his time wandering around the castle, as he had come to call it, and talking to Cloud when he could. Most of the time, Cloud seemed distant and would disappear for hours, but when they spoke, they conversed for long periods of time. Today, Kadaj found him taking inventory of the kitchen.

"Ni-san," Kadaj stood next to Cloud and looked at the older man to watch what he did. "I'm bored."

"Do something," Cloud replied, trying to decide what he should buy in Icicle Inn instead of ramen noodles.

"There's nothing to do," Kadaj whined, sitting up on the counter and playing with the last pack of ramen soup.

"... I'm busy." Cloud declared weakly, watching Kadaj toy with the package. He didn't know whether or not he should take the teen to Icicle town with him, people might mistake him for Sephiroth even though he was said to be dead.

"Well I'm not busy..." Kadaj tossed the noodles into the disposal unit across the room and smiled in triumph when he heard it whir, destroying the last real sustenance in the house.

"Kadaj! That was all we had left!" Cloud let his head drop on the counter in frustration, now all they had was ice cream. "... What do you want to do?" Cloud unceremoniously lifted Kadaj from the counter and dropped him on the floor to reach the cabinet he had been blocking. The teen snarled from the floor and lifted himself up and rammed into Cloud, making the man loose his balance and fall to the floor. Just as Kadaj was going to leave Cloud there, the spiky haired man pulled him down to the floor as well and began to tickle him.

"No! Ni-san! Stop!" Kadaj said between laughs, squirming under Cloud's fingers. He tried to crawl away, but Cloud promptly dragged him back and flipped him on his stomach, straddling his hips and digging his fingers into the teen's sides.

"You destroyed my soup and you knocked me over! Now you have to pay," Cloud laughed, continuing to tickle the teen. He tickled Kadaj until he couldn't breathe and rolled off, laughing just as hard from the relieved look on his face.

"That wasn't funny!" Kadaj cried, gathering up the rest of his strength and crawling on top of Cloud. He straddled the man's stomach and mimicked the tickling movement with no avail.

"I'm not ticklish," Cloud informed him, leveling himself on his elbows only to be pushed back down by a rather ruffled Kadaj. "Wrestling?" Cloud flipped the boy over and pinned him to the floor, grinning at the struggling teen.

"Ni-san!" Kadaj kneed him in the gut and rolled over on top of him again, and so a wrestling match began. The two brawled on the floor until Kadaj got tired and gave up, laying on his back with his hands pinned above him. "You win." Kadaj panted, catching his breath.

"Thought so," Cloud smiled, leaning over the boy. He was overcome with the sudden urge to kiss Kadaj, as he had kissed Sephiroth. Would they taste the same? Would they feel the same? Cloud got closer to Kadaj's face, inches from his lips. Kadaj started to get nervous, and he didn't know why. The space between them was closing rapidly, and now Cloud was almost head butting him.

"Ni-san?" Kadaj struggled futilely and was rescued by Cloud's ringing phone. Cloud released Kadaj's hands, but stayed on top of him as he answered the cell.

"Tifa?" there was silence as Cloud listened to what the woman had to say on the other end, "It's not my problem. If you can't find them, then maybe you shouldn't try." More silence. "No, that's not what-" now Cloud was getting agitated, "Fine. I'll come. Not now though... No, you don't need to know where I am... Ok. Tell him I said hi. Bye." Cloud snapped his phone shut and tossed it to the side, obviously upset about something. He had no intention of visiting Tifa if he could help it, he needed to stay with Kadaj until he figured out what he was going to do with the teen.

"Ni-san? What is it?" Kadaj sat up as best he could and looked at the blonde quizzically.

"Nothing." Cloud met Kadaj's gaze and decided to take a chance. He leaned forward and kissed the teen softly, feeling him stiffen up beneath his lips. Kadaj felt similar to Sephiroth, but subtly different. Physically, he was the same, but his lips felt warmer, softer, sweeter. He lingered a few more moments before withdrawing, holding his breath to see Kadaj's reaction.

Kadaj was blushing furiously, unable to look straight at Cloud, focusing on his shirt instead. He had no idea what that had happened. All the sudden, they had been touching, a new strange sensation. It felt warm and comforting and somewhat iniquitous, but good more than anything.

"Ni-san... what was that?" he asked, curiosity winning over his embarrassment. He was still blushing, but it was mostly hidden since he was looking down, away from Cloud.

"It was a kiss." Cloud said simply, feeling rather abashed himself.

"Kiss?"

"Yeah. It's what you do when you like someone." As soon as he said it, Cloud was mortified. He felt himself turn red in earnest as he stood up quickly and extended a hand to help Kadaj up. "I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"What do you mean, like someone?" Kadaj accepted the help and didn't feel so nervous anymore. Cloud looked like he was just as embarrassed as he had been, so it must have been normal.

"Kadaj... why don't we save this conversation for another day? We have no food and I have to go to Icicle town and get some stuff." Cloud hated using this excuse, but he didn't feel like saying anything else he didn't mean to say. "Is there anything you want?"

"Apples," Kadaj demanded.

"We're in the middle of a glacier. There are no apples. Oranges, yes, but no apples."

"Pineapple," Kadaj tried again, putting his hand on his hip as an emphasis.

"No... none of that either." Cloud fought the urge to laugh. Kadaj reminded him of Tifa in his pouty mood, but Tifa was a lot harder to be around. With Kadaj, it just looked cute.

"Raspberries."

"How about some nice-"

"Anything but more ramen. It's disgusting and I have no idea how you can stomach it." Kadaj sighed in disgust and leaned back on the counter. "And some clothes. I'm getting tired of wearing stuff that's too big." Cloud looked at the somewhat big white t-shirt and loose pajama pants Kadaj sported. He looked like a little kid.

"All right, I'll get you some clothes that fits. I'm buying ramen whether you want it or not though because I happen to like it. I'll get you some macaroni and cheese or something..." Cloud grinned at Kadaj and ruffled his hair. It was amazing how much both of them had opened up to each other. The only people Cloud had ever felt this comfortable with had been Aerith and Sephiroth, and Kadaj was almost a mix of both of them.

The two walked together towards the garage where Cloud kept Fenrir for such occasions. It was a bit awkward to carry groceries on the motorcycle, but he managed. Kadaj sat on the motorcycle seat while Cloud found his sunglasses and jacket, watching the blonde scuttle around the room.

"All right. Promise you won't try to leave, ok?" Cloud stood in front of Kadaj, pulling on his jacket.

"I promise. Just don't be gone too long, it's lonely without you." Kadaj looked up at Cloud innocently, unaware of the affect the statement had on the older man.

"I'll be gone for three hours max, ok? Don't do anything dangerous." Cloud motioned for the teen to get off Fenrir so he could sit down himself. Before he left, he pulled Kadaj into an embrace, burying his head in the teen's chest. He smelled like Sephiroth. Cloud removed himself from Kadaj and flicked down his sunglasses to hide tears that threatened to spill. He smiled at Kadaj before speeding off on his bike.

Kadaj stood and watched Cloud until he disappeared, then he closed the garage door and made his way to his room. He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, thinking about how much he had gotten to know Cloud the past week. He smiled to himself and blushed when he thought about what happened in the kitchen, he had never had that close of contact with anyone before. He touched his lips with his fingertips and remembered how Cloud's lips had felt, had Ni-san enjoyed the kiss as much as he had? With these thoughts swirling around his head, he fell asleep.

Cloud rode down the icy road to the town, hoping Kadaj would be ok by himself. It took about forty five minutes to get to town, forty five back. With any luck, shopping wouldn't take too long, so he would be back before Kadaj really started getting lonely. Cloud spent most of the way to town trying to convince himself that Kadaj was not Sephiroth. He already knew that the teen wasn't his Angel, but he needed something to blame so he didn't have to admit to himself that he liked Kadaj. He reached the town in less time than he expected, so he was able to drop by the weapons shop before going to buy groceries.

"Well hello, Cloud! What can I do for you?" Elly, the weapon shop owner's daughter stood at the counter, discreetly trying to tug her dress down to expose her breasts. Cloud sighed and stood by the counter, somewhat annoyed by the flirtatious girl.

"Can I talk to your father?" Cloud asked, looking behind her to the swords mounted on the wall.

"Sure!" Elly spun around and flounced off to the back room, making sure to shake her posterior in another feeble attempt to win Cloud's affections. He heard Elly and her father's voices in the back room, then heavy footsteps as the old man came into the room. Cloud had left the Wakazashi and buster sword with the weapon shop owner, trusting him to hold on to them until he could take them back home. He didn't quite have enough assurance yet that Kadaj wouldn't become violent on him yet, so he kept the weapons far away.

"Cloud! What can I do for you? Here to pick up your swords? I'll tell you, this Wakazashi is really an amazing weapon. I took the liberty of cleaning-" the old man rambled, pulling the double bladed katana out from a huge safe under the counter.

"No! No, that's all right. I just wanted to make sure that you had them ok," Cloud paused to look at the marvelous weapon, taking it from the old man and giving it a practice swing. It was lighter than he was used to, but still quite formidable," You did a really good job cleaning it, old man. Thanks," he gave the sword back to the owner, who was brimming with joy at the admiration of his work, "I'll stop by and get the buster and Wakazashi in about a month if things go well." The old man nodded and shook Cloud's hand, watching him leave.

"Daddy! How could you let him leave like that!" Elly shrieked, coming out from the back room,"I was going to invite him for-"

"Elly, forget it already!" her father screeched back, plugging his ears to drown out his ecstatic daughter.

Outside, Cloud walked to the grocery store, wondering what he could get Kadaj. He entered the store and went straight to the produce, searching for something sweet the teen would like. There were strawberries, oranges, star fruit, papaya, and of course, no pineapple. He opted for the strawberries and papaya, filling a bag with each and placed them in a basket. He then replenished his stock of ramen soup and macaroni and cheese, got a few gallons of spring water, and found some kool-aid thinking the teen might find the juice amusing. He also decided to get some frozen waffles and syrup for the sake of diversity and went to the checkout.

"Hello Cloud, this is more than usual. You got guests? Maybe a girlfriend?" Marie, the grocery girl winked at him as she ran the items through the scanner, "Do you want your creepy vitamins too?" she tossed a bottle of pills into the bag along with the kool-aid, "I'm not surprised you need vitamins, since you survive completely on soup..." she snickered and finished ringing up the items, she wasn't at all bothered that Cloud didn't answer any of her questions. "That's seventy eight gil."

"Thanks," Cloud smiled back at Marie and handed over one hundred gil, "Keep the change." He took all his bags and went back to Fenrir, fitting most of them in the huge compartments that normally housed his many swords. He got back on his bike and began the icy trip back home.

Kadaj stood in a dark room, he couldn't see anything. He could only hear whispers and what sounded like someone being dragged around the room. He stumbled around in the dark, trying not to cry, until he hit the wall and fell down the the ground. There was something sticky and wet all over the floor, it got on his hands and legs as he crawled around. The same sticky stuff was on the walls as well. He sat with his back to the wall and his eyes shut as the whispers and dragging grew nearer, until he could make out some of the words.

"Pain, horrible pain... How could you do this to us, brother? How could you kill us like this? You should have killed Cloud, not us. You abandoned us, brother..." The voices sounded like Loz and Yazoo's, but he couldn't be sure. He opened his eyes, and suddenly the room was lit. Blood covered everything. Dead bodies littered the floor, the dragging noise he heard had been the people that weren't dead, pulling themselves across the bloodied floor.

Kadaj screamed, tears streaming down his face, he remembered this dream. He had this dream every time he slept, the dream of death and blood. Gore covered the walls, and amidst all the carnage, he saw himself standing in the middle with Wakazashi, a demonic smile on his face.

"Kadaj! Wake up!" Cloud's voice penetrated into Kadaj's dream and the teen woke up, tears streaking his face, his throat raw from screaming. He looked at Cloud who had an expression of pure worry on his face, worry and fear. "Are you all right?" Cloud sat on the bed next to him and pulled him into a hug, holding the boy as close as possible to calm him down.

"I just had... a bad dream," Kadaj panted, snuggling into Cloud's warmth and trying to slow down his rapid heartbeat.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Cloud asked, stroking Kadaj's hair. The teen shook his head slid closer to Cloud, wrapping his arms around Cloud's waist, returning the hug.

"You sure? It didn't sound too-"

"I'm fine." Kadaj pulled away from Cloud slowly, his eyes were red and puffy from crying. Cloud wiped a tear from the teen's face with his thumb and brushed some loose hair out of his face. Kadaj leaned forward without warning and kissed Cloud on the lips, finding comfort in the older man's heat. The blonde was surprised to say the least that Kadaj would do such a thing, but did nothing to stop it, just gently kissed him back until he withdrew.

"What was that for?" Cloud asked quietly, lifting Kadaj's head to meet his gaze.

"I don't know. Because I like you." Kadaj lay back down in bed covering himself with a blanket before curling up to conserve warmth.

"Kadaj... there's something you need to understand about kissing," Cloud began carefully, sitting cross-legged, facing Kadaj, "It's something people do when they're more than friends. It's like... I don't know what it's like. But you don't just do it when you like someone as a normal friend." Cloud hoped Kadaj would understand his broken explanation and waited for the teen to respond.

"So... you don't like me?" Kadaj's voice was dripping with rejection as he tried not to cry.

"No! No, that's not- wait, I do like you, it's just- It's one thing to like someone as a friend, but another to like someone and want to kiss them. You kiss a person that you want to-" Cloud stopped himself, wondering how in hell he was going to explain any of this to the teen. Kadaj sat up and faced Cloud, new tears running down his cheeks. He wiped them off with the back of his hand and looked at the man in confusion.

"I don't understand."

"All right... let's start from the beginning. You know what a friend is, right?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Friends talk, they play games, they spend time together, right?" Kadaj nodded and waited for the spiky blonde to continue, "Well, when you've liked someone enough for a long time, sometimes you'll want to do more than just hang out."

"Like do what?"

"Uhh... like kiss and touch and hold hands," Cloud was beginning to get edgy, hoping the conversation didn't stray any further.

"What kind of touching? Like this?" Kadaj asked curiously, poking Cloud's shoulder.

"Not exactly... I'll explain it to you later, okay? For now you just need to know that-"

"But," Kadaj interrupted, "We've been friends for over a while and we've kissed, so doesn't that count?"

"Well, a week isn't very long... and you have to want to kiss the person." Cloud smiled at the teen's naiveté, "You have to know what you're getting into as well."

"I want to kiss you. And you just told me what I'm getting into," the boy persisted, he was more stubborn than a chocobo and its greens.

"You're not understanding what I mean. When people kiss, it's because they want their relationship to progress to something you're not ready for." Cloud was satisfied with this answer, Kadaj, however, was not.

"But-"

"Enough! I'll tell you the rest later, ok? I'm too tired right now." Cloud lay back on the bed, hoping Kadaj would not continue to question him. He was grateful when Kadaj remained silent. He closed his eyes and relaxed, then tensed up once again when the boy lay next to him and swung an arm over his chest, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Kadaj, this is the kind of-"

"I don't care. It's warm and comfortable." Kadaj held on tight to Cloud, hoping the older man wouldn't attempt to dislodge him from the pleasant position he was in now. Cloud sighed and put an arm around Kadaj's shoulders, pulling him in a bit closer.

"All right, but just this once."