For the sake of my beloved,
Now what can I do?
The melody continuously play in his ears from his cellphone as Kirihara leaned against the fence on the rooftop, mindlessly eating his lunch that he had bought from the cafeteria and checking his phone for any news from his older sister. He somehow managed to escape from his senpai-tachi's questioning, and safely ended up on the rooftop. He, of course, knew that it would only be a matter of time before they find him and demand answers for his behavior earlier.
However… for now, he wanted some sort of sanctuary to recollect himself.
His unexpected situation forced him to grow up and find his way around the 'adult world' earlier than others. Ever since the accident and his mom's hospitalization, he had to relocate overseas repeatedly due to his father's company's work. In that first year, he remembered tagging along with his father to many English speaking countries, and found himself at the end of incredulous and dumbfounded stares at his thick-accented, grammatically wrong, butchered, broken English.
His minimal progress extremely displeased his private tutor, and she gave him countless worksheets and homework to force him to improve his failing marks. It did not help that English was… is… his least favorite subject. At least now, he could comprehend and hold a conversation in the language, but that did not mean he had to like it.
'Which reminds me, why did the school put me in an advanced English class?' he whined inwardly with a deep frown. 'Just because my English grades are above average does not mean I am good at it or like it.'
He idly noted, for the umpteenth time, his lack of appetite and the remains in his meal. He knew that he should finish his food, but he did not feel like eating especially when his thoughts constantly deferred to his current situation. He shook his head to snap out of his thoughts, and rewrapped his half-eaten sandwich and half-eaten salad bowl. He dumped the two items in a plastic bag before he tossed it in a trash can near the door. It was a waste, he knew; but he did not have the energy to care about his diminished appetite.
A movement from the shadows behind the door caught his attention, and a frown appeared on his expression when he realized whom those shadows belonged to. He really wanted to know if his former teammates had indeed taken a leaf out of Seigaku's stalking techniques.
"Senpai-tachi, your hiding skills need work. Seriously."
Kirihara did not know if his remark startled them, or if Marui-senpai, Niou-senpai, and Jackal-senpai lacked balance to continue crouching in their hiding spot. He watched in mild amusement when the three came tumbling down unceremoniously as soon as he spoke, and he found himself in disbelief that he knew these people.
His gaze shifted to Yukimura-senpai, who walked out the same hiding spot with a chuckle. He could not hide his astonishment because he had no idea that his former tennis captain would stoop to be a stalker. In fact, this alone ruined the image he had of his effeminate upperclassman.
He tried to gather himself as he watched his former teammates leave their hiding spots, and sat down in a semi-circle around him. He knew the questions they wanted to ask him just from their stares, but he wanted to avoid revealing to them for as long as he can. After all, he knew they have their own lives and problems to worry about, and he did not want to add his problems to the equation.
"Surely, you didn't come here to watch me do nothing," he remarked in his usual snarky tone. "Is there something you want or need, senpai-tachi?"
He gave a smirk at their somewhat startled expressions – particularly on Marui-senpai, who almost swallowed his gum – when they heard his second question. He supposed they did not expect him to be this secretive; after all, he usually whined and complained, especially to Yukimura-senpai, whenever he faced a problem back in middle school.
"Akaya, you've changed a lot."
Sanada-senpai's stoic comment threw him off guard because that was something he did not expect to hear from his former vice-captain. Still, he could not help but silently chuckle when he noted that the older male still looked way older than a high school student should.
Of course, he chose not to voice that out loud since he did not want a slap as a gift of some sort.
Kirihara snapped out of his inner musing when he noticed their expectant stares, and hid his growing nervousness behind a smirking façade. In the end, out of everything he could and should say, he opted to respond with a, "I believe we've established that, Sanada-senpai. People change as time passes by, why is that surprising for you?"
"But you're totally different from the Akaya we once knew," Marui pointed out with a frown on his face. "What happened to him?"
"He grew up, senpai," he answered simply like it was obvious. He looked away from their inquisitive gazes and stared at the campus through the wired fence. He took that moment to recollect himself, and heaved a deep sigh before he said, "I can't be childish and be naïve anymore. Not when I have to support myself."
"What do you mean, Akaya?" Yukimura questioned with a frown. "There is something you're not telling us."
He stood up from his spot, dusted his uniform leisurely, and glanced at his former teammates with a wry smile. "Please don't try to recruit me for your club, senpai-tachi," he began without giving a proper response to his former captain's inquiries. "Tennis… I've stopped playing it for three years now, and I don't intend to go back to it at all."
The bell rang just as he finished making that statement, so he simply bowed to the group and made his hasty escape. He knew they had more questions than answers at that point, but if he knew Yanagi-senpai like he think he does, the older male would try to solve this 'mystery'.
A handful of days passed by since that encounter with his former teammates at the rooftop, and he had been trying to avoid them as best as he could. He, much to his dismay, shared some classes (English and Japanese) with Yukimura, Yanagi, Jackal, and Marui. He knew he could not avoid them forever, but for now, he chose to play a game of 'cat and mouse' by entering the classroom last and being the first to leave.
It was mostly because he had no idea what to tell them; in fact, even if he did decide to tell his former teammates – because he knew they were a caring bunch in their own eccentric ways – he did not know how to approach the subject. One might even dare to say that he is afraid of how they will view him.
He snapped out of his thoughts when a piece of chalk flicked on his forehead, and blankly stared at the item as he wondered where it came from.
"Kirihara-kun, I'd appreciate it if you don't daydream in my class," his English teacher scolded.
He ignored the snickering Marui from the opposite side of the classroom, and merely nodded to his teacher in understanding. He did not like the grammar sessions, especially about active and passive forms of a sentence. It was difficult and tedious the first time he had this lesson with his private tutor a couple of years ago, and he still found it tedious now. It was not as difficult as the first time he had these lessons, but he still found it boring.
"Finally," he murmured under his breath when the bell rang.
He hastily packed up his belongings, and dodged his fellow classmates before his former teammates could catch him. He looked over his shoulders as he tried to blend in with the crowd, and frowned when he saw Yukimura-senpai still tailing him. It looked like his effeminate former captain had polished his stalking techniques. He also noticed that his former teammates were following behind the blue-haired effeminate tennis captain.
Kirihara heaved a deep sigh as he decided to ignore the stalking group for now, and began making his way to his shoe lockers. Hopefully, he would be able to shake off his former teammates in the crowded city. With that thought in mind, he changed his indoor shoes into his outdoor ones, and readjusted the strap of his backpack as he headed out of the gates.
He pulled out his cellphone to glance at the time, noting that he had approximately two hours before his shift, and decided to head to the hospital. He recalled his older sister mentioning this morning that his mother is going to be discharged today. She did not mention the time, and he forgot to ask; but hopefully, they would still be there when he arrives.
His worries overwhelmed him that he did not notice arriving to a flower shop he usually visits on his way to the hospital. In fact, he did not know that he arrived to the quint shop until one of the employees spoke to him.
"Akaya-san, I presume you are getting the usual?"
"Actually, can I get a basket of forget-me-not, white clover, globe amaranth, king's spear, and sweet pea?" he responded as he pulled out his wallet.
"Certainly," she answered with a nod.
She wordlessly gathered the necessary flowers and items to create his order while he glanced around the shop to pass some time. Within a few minutes, the employee returned with a basket beautifully filled with the flowers he ordered, and carefully packaged the item before she handed it to him.
"Do you know that you have some people following you?" she whispered inconspicuously.
He merely chuckled in response and gave a subtle nod as he paid for the item. "I know; they are my former teammates," he replied verbally, and thanked her for the flowers before he walked out of the store.
He heard Marui-senpai's loudly asking about the meanings behind the flowers he chose, and opted to walk right passed by a large promotion sign that his former teammates chose as their hiding spot. He resisted the urge to go over to the sign and let them know that they needed to work on their stalking techniques. However, he decided to amuse them and let them think that he did not know their stalking; after all, this might make it easier for him to 'tell' them about his 'sudden' change.
He arrived to the hospital a couple of minutes later, and greeted the receptionist with a smile before he headed over to the elevator. A few more seconds later, he arrived to the sixth floor and made a couple of turns in the hallways before he arrived to his mother's room.
Kirihara blinked in surprise when he saw his older sister and her husband in the hallway. The two were talking a low tone to not disturb other patients, but he was more surprise to see his sister's husband who was usually busy being an executive officer at a talent agency overseas.
"Ah, Akaya; how have you been?" the older man greeted him as soon as he approached the two.
"I'm doing okay; nice to see you, Shun-san," he politely greeted in reply.
"Sayuri-san is currently talking with Yuu-san, so we decided to give them some privacy," Shun stated as he jabbed a thumb towards the mentioned room. "The doctors said that she can go home today if the results of the last test they performed are good. It should be out in a couple of hours; at least that's what they said."
"Ah I see…" he trailed off with a nod.
He really did not know what else to say or add to the conversation so silence reigned over the group. He placed the flower basket he bought on a chair nearby, and took a seat next to it. He watched as Shun-san helped his sister sit down before the older man quietly fussed over to see if she needed anything.
"When are you due, Nee-san?" he could not help but ask curiously.
"In about three weeks," she answered with a fond smile on her expression.
"Have you decided the name yet? Is it a boy or a girl?" he continued with his questions.
He did not know what else to say, and it was the only topic that came into his mind at that moment. Furthermore, it surprised him that his sister visited his mother daily despite her condition. Both he and Shun-san constantly told her that she should not stress her body, but she merely said that such task was not stressful and that it was more stressful being a caged bird without any freedom.
That lecture lasted nearly two hours. Neither he nor Shun-san liked to listen to it again so they had to let her do as she pleased if she promised not to stress her body.
"Shun-san and I are going to choose it this weekend," his sister answered with a smile. "We're having a girl, by the way."
"Machiko and I agreed that you can be her godfather, Akaya," Shun-san added with a grin. "Just don't spoil her that much because that's my role."
Kirihara grinned at the news, and shook his head in amusement at the older male's second statement. "Thanks, I guess," he murmured.
"By the way, Akaya, are you really sure that you won't be playing tennis ever again?" his older sister interjected and changed the conversation's topic.
He glanced over to her direction before he gave a solemn nod in response. "You and I both know that it's because of tennis that mom is like this," he began and noticed that his sister was about to refute, so he continued. "If I didn't play tennis, if I didn't become the captain, if I didn't ask mom to come watch my match that day, she wouldn't have lost her memories of me."
"Akaya…" Shun-san murmured with a frown and looked as if he did not know what to say.
"It took my mother away," Kirihara continued as he stared at the slightly ajar door that his parents were in. "I can't help but hate it… not as much as I did before… but every time I think about tennis, I'm reminded of my present situation."
"Still, Akaya… you love that sport a lot. Is it alright for you to just give it up?" his sister asked.
He gave a wry smile at her concern, and said, "I haven't touched any of my tennis equipment for the past three years, and I don't intend on going back to it. Besides, I'm busy with my schoolwork and work these days."
"You know you shouldn't hesitate to ask us if you need anything; and I mean, anything," Shun-san added quietly. "I know how difficult this must be for you, because Sayuri-san dotted on you."
Kirihara merely nodded in understanding since he did not know what to say to that statement. It seemed just like yesterday when he was blabbering to his mother about Sanada-senpai's strictness, Yukimura-senpai's sadistic nature, Yanagi-senpai's evil 'health' drink, Niou-senpai's pranks, and the evilness of his English homework assignment.
He wanted to go back to that time, and continuously remain there without a care. He wanted to be a child again, and not have to worry about being an adult like he is now, where he had to work and take care of himself.
"What are you talking about? What's the meaning of this, Yuu?" Sayuri-san's loud voice interrupted his thoughts.
His brows furrowed and a frown appeared on his expression while he stood up to head over to the partly opened door. He leaned against the door before he peeked into the room to see that his father was showing an album to his mother.
"Akaya, the one who constantly visited you, is our son, Sayuri," he heard his father's remark. "I know that you still remember him somewhere in your heart. You can't just forget about him as if he didn't exist. He's our child, Sayuri."
He saw his mother tried to digest the information with furrowed brows and a frown on her expression. Her gaze seemed to be focused on a certain page in the album while her hands tightly clenched on the blanket.
He waited with baited breath and thundering heartbeats for a response even though he had a feeling what that response is going to be. In fact, no matter how foolish he felt clinging onto a tiny ray of hope that his mother would remember him, he wanted to believe that she has not truly forgotten him… that somewhere deep in her mind, she still remembered him.
He snapped out of his stupor when he heard her uttered, "Don't kid me, Yuu. I only had one child, and that's my daughter, Machiko. I don't have a son. I certainly can't fathom why you're claiming that Akaya-kun is our child. I hope for your sake that you aren't cheating on me."
