Part Three – Buy More Staff Meeting
"Allll right, ladies," Big Mike started. He hitched his belt up around his impressive girth and started to walk down the line of Buy More employees standing at varying degrees of attention. "Big news, today." He paused in front of one be-spectacled and afro-licious geek to point out a spot on his green shirt. "Circuit City burned down…"
Morgan snorted out a laugh and then quickly put on a serious face as Big Mike came down the line to eyeball him.
"Something funny, Grimes?" Big Mike asked, eyebrow raised.
"No sir, Big Mike, sir," Morgan answered, swallowing loudly. "Just uh…" he looked desperately around and saw Chuck behind Big Mike miming a sneeze. "Just trying not to sneeze and interrupt your wonderfully informative staff meeting is all."
Big Mike nodded thoughtfully, "Good thinking, Grimes." He once more started walking down the line, making each employee feel uncomfortable in turn. "As I was saying, the Circuit City in Highland Park burned down today…" he paused and looked around menacingly to see if anyone else would dare snort. "So, we're gonna get all of their business coming here," he pointed downward. "Anyone know what that means?"
"We're gonna get some kickass commissions," Morgan stage whispered to Lester.
"I've gotta find my dreidel," Lester muttered to himself.
"Santa's comin' early, and he's bringin' a 40," Jeff pumped his fist.
"It means," Big Mike continued, glaring at half of his staff, "That this place is gonna be a mad house. Black Friday rules apply, and if anyone, and I mean anyone, names a certain tropical fruit, there will be hell to pay. Am I clear?"
"Crystal, sir, Big Mike, sir," Morgan saluted. The rest of the staff nodded in agreement.
"Good. I'll be in my office. Chuck and Emmett? You're in charge. Don't come get me if anything goes wrong."
Part Four – Leonard's Car, Pasadena Fwy
"So wait," Penny leaned forward from her position between Raj and Howard in the back seat. "How exactly do you get a lifetime ban from a Buy More?"
Howard pulled her back into her seat, pulling her unnecessarily close to himself in the process. "That's a story that you don't want to be told."
"Oh, c'mon!" she scoffed.
"No, really," Leonard chimed in. "You don't want to know."
"You know, telling me that only makes me want to know more." She turned to her right. "You'll tell me, won't you Raj?" she fluttered her eyelashes and flashed him a big smile.
Raj squeaked slightly and smiled back.
"Oh, c'mon!" Penny whined, bouncing slightly in her seat, much to Howard's enjoyment. "Somebody tell me!"
"It was a cold and dreary day in early November," Sheldon intoned dramatically.
"Here we go," Leonard rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
Howard threw up his hands in defeat and looked out the window.
Raj shrugged at Penny with a sad smile on his face.
"Final Fantasy XII had just shipped, and I was desperately seeking a Japanese import copy," Sheldon continued, trying to set the tone.
"How can it be a final fantasy if there are twelve of them?" Penny interrupted. Four pairs of eyes turned to stare at her. "What?"
Three people shook their heads, but Sheldon glared. "That's strike one."
"Oh god," she put her head in her hands.
"Just take the class!" Howard whispered.
"As I was saying," Sheldon pouted, lips clenched and forehead furrowed. "I was seeking a Japanese import, and I'd been told that they had copies of it at the Buy More in Echo Park."
"You couldn't just order it online?" Penny asked, earning grimaces all around.
Raj felt around in his pocket for a moment, producing pen and paper and hurriedly scribbling something which he handed to Howard.
Howard squinted at the messy writing and read out in a monotone, "Ordering games online is for punk ass bitches who can't get off the couch." He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but then nodded his head. "Yeah, that's a good summary of the argument. Well said, Raj."
Leonard sighed and once more asked himself why he hung out with these people.
