A/N – Hey this still isn't the sequel to 'Hold Me Now' but rather it's the same story told from Harry's point of view. I just heard this song 'Say Goodnight' by The Click Five and I thought it fit perfectly to Harry's pov, so I just had to write it. Anyway I promise there will be a sequel…in fact its about half written…so look out for it soon.

Disclaimer – Like last time I still don't own Harry Potter or the lyrics to this song…just playing around with them for a bit longer :)

Say Goodnight

Baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say goodnight

He sensed more than heard her apparate into his living room. It had to be her no one else came to see him anymore; she was all he had left and even she was going to leave him soon. No, he should not think like that. He had chosen to be alone, it was not safe for anyone else to be with him, everyone who had ever cared for him had ended up dead. Having the death of all those people on his conscience was almost more than he could bear.

He did not want to think what it would be like if anything ever happened to her. She was the most important person in the whole world to him; he could never carry on if anything happened to her. So that was why they denied what they felt for each other. Why all they could have were stolen moments, when they could no longer stand being separated from each other. It was why she was getting married to his other best friend in the next week. Then she would be truly lost to him. But she would be happy and safe, that was the most important thing. It did not matter that he would never be able to have her ever again; he did not matter, all that mattered was that she was safe.

If he had it his own way she would be even safer soon. He was finally ready to face Voldemort, after years. That shadow which had hung over him for all his life would be lifted. The world would be safe…she would be safe. She was taking her time getting to him, he thought. Generally she would run to them and they would tumble into bed before they could let their guilt stop them. But something seemed to be different this time. Maybe they both sensed that for one reason or another; this would be the last time that this could take place. Deciding to let her find him, he picked up his book again and began to read.

He heard her quiet footsteps making their way to his door. It slowly creaked open and she stepped inside. She looked beautiful; every time he saw her he was sure that she became more beautiful. There was a bit of dust on her hair, it must have brushed off on her when she walked in the door. He wanted to run to her, to take her in his arms, to never let her go. Instead he carefully marked the page on his book, put it slowly aside and said hello.

"Hello Harry" came back her quiet reply.

As she turned to close the door, he could no longer resist her. Walking towards, he quickly grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around. He needed to kiss her; he had not kissed her in such a long time. Surprisingly the kiss was gentle and full of love, rather than hurried and passionate. When he brought his hand up to her cheek he realised that it was wet and in some part of his brain that was not overwhelmed by her, he noticed that she was crying. Pulling away from her he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Well there goes the impression I had that I had improved in the kissing department since my fifth year" oh god had he really just said that?

Maybe if he smiled at her she would think it was a joke. She was smiling at him. He had managed to make her smile, even with his really bad 'joke', he wondered if Ron could make her smile like that…no he should not think about that. She was here with him now and he would take whatever of her time she was willing to give him.

He gently pulled her hand towards the bed, hoping to make her forget all her worries. Still he noticed that she had not stopped crying and instead sat himself on the bed and asked, "What's wrong Hermione?" in his gentlest voice.

He was dreading her reply. He knew that this was the last time that he would see her and the last thing he wanted to do was to have an argument.

"I can't do this anymore Harry" he heard her sob.

He felt the mattress sag beside him as she joined him on the bed.

"I feel like I'm getting torn in two, I can't keep lying to Ron…to everyone…I'm getting married in a week for Merlin's sake' she almost screamed this last part at him.

There it was. He already knew all of this of course; in fact he had expected this to happen a long time ago. He had always been resigned to the fact that she would eventually chose Ron over him, after all he had nothing to offer her, apart from the fact that a madman wanted to murder him. No, he had no future to offer her. She would leave him now to go and be happy and he would not stop her. After all he had to go face his destiny and she could never know that. He looked into the fire which illuminated the room and quietly said,

"You know I would never ask you to sacrifice your happiness… maybe it would be better if we didn't she each other again"

He knew she would not like what he had just said, so he got up from the bed and walked away from her. Even though he could not see her, he could feel her getting even angrier with him. Why had he just said that? This was exactly what he had not wanted to happen.

"Oh, yes of course, how could I forget? You're Harry Potter always the martyr, always having to sacrifice his happiness for others!" She screamed at him.

He heard her get up off the bed and stomp towards him, he felt her hands on his arms and he let her turn him around.

"Don't you think I have a right to decide who it is that makes me happy? Harry I lo…"

He could not let her finish, everything would be so much more complicated if she had said those three words. So he kissed her, it was after all the most effective way he had found of making her stop talking.

'Please don't say it Hermione' he said as he broke pulled away from her. He made the mistake of looking into her eyes and he knew that he could not let her go just yet.

So in his most pleading voice he said, 'Can I at least have one last night with you?'

Deep down he knew that this was not fair on her; she could never deny him anything he asked for. The moments it took her to nod her head were the longest of his life. Though that was all the encouragement that he needed and he took her hand in his and slowly led her to his bed.

The fire had nearly burned itself out by the time she fell asleep beside him. Knowing that this was the last time that he would be able to watch her like this; he found it impossible to sleep. If it was possible he would believe that she looked even prettier while she was asleep.

Her face was peaceful and showed none of the worries she always had. Her hair was a mass of curls spread out on the pillow and he could not resist the urge to move a lock which had fallen across her face. He saw her smile as his fingers lightly brushed against her face and slowly her eyes fluttered open.

"Hmmmm, is it time to get up?" she said sleepily.

"Not yet Hermione, go back to sleep for a little bit longer" He knew the next few words they said to each other would probably be their last.

He watched her yawn sleepily and say a muffled "night night" before she cuddled up to him. He knew that he would never be able to say goodbye to her so he settled for kissing her forehead and saying, "Goodnight, Hermione"

Making sure she was actually asleep, he quietly added "I love you". Then holding back tears he put his head down on the pillow and let sleep overtake him.

By the time he woke up the next day his bed was empty and he knew she was gone. That was it; he would never see her again. He was under no illusions; he knew that he would probably not live through his confrontation with Voldemort. Even if he did, she would belong to someone else by the time he got back. He could live with that though, as long as she was happy nothing else mattered.

Slowly he got up and carefully remade the bed. He walked towards the curtains and purposefully opened them letting the sunlight stream in. It was a glorious summer day, the perfect type of day. He knew she would have wonderful weather for her wedding.

Sighing he started to pack the few things which he would take with him. Some clothes, a few books and most importantly a small photo of her.

When everything was in order he sat at the small desk which was in a corner of his room. This would be the most difficult part. How was he meant to write a letter to her? He was not even sure she would ever read it. But somehow it would just feel wrong to leave without leaving something behind for her to know what had happened to him.

After four or five attempts, which were either too polite or downright lies, he decided that the only thing that would do was something that came straight from the heart. So picking up the quill which he had flung away in anger, he pulled a piece of parchment in front of him and began to write.

Half an hour later he sealed the envelope and wrote Hermione on it, before placing it gently on the bed. Fighting back tears he decisively walked out of the bedroom. He knew that if he did not leave now, he would never leave and would just wait for her to return to him. With one last glance into the room which held so many memories he apparated away.