One Thing after Another
From there, Serena and Darien's friendship developed at a rapid speed. And as the air got colder and the trees got bare, Darien began to try and get over Raye, always with Serena at his side supporting him. He thought he was doing the right thing by "searching for new, hot chicks" as he liked to put it, but Serena could tell he was still hurting inside from all of Raye's refusals. One morning at one of their usual break rendezvous', they made their way to their 'spot.' This 'spot' was a hall between the cafeteria and the auditorium, also in front of the Spanish and Art rooms. This was their usual meeting place when Serena walked him to Photography class (which he had switched into in place of Spanish) during her off-hour. Andrew and Serena had sort of worked out an unspoken system where they would both walk Mina to Spanish but Andrew stayed with her till the teacher got there while Serena slipped off to walk with Darien. These walks had become very special and cherished to her. To both of them.
Anyways, this one particular morning was the one that started one of many fiascos they had to come. Two nights before, Darien and Serena's very best friend Lita (who didn't go to her school) were chatting online. The three of them had hung out earlier that evening at the mall, where Darien had joked with Lita about asking her out. It was all fun and games until this particular IM conversation…
LitaDAchef: sup delicious
Tuxedo4u: ha-ha, hey :P
LitaDAchef: i had fun tonight
Tuxedo4u: me too, will you go out with me?
LitaDAchef: hahaha
Tuxedo4u: really…will you go out with me?
LitaDAchef: what?
Tuxedo4u: go out with me!
LitaDAchef: huh? …i need to talk to Serena…
Tuxedo4u: wait, why?
LitaDAchef: gotta go bye!
LitaDAchef has signed off.
Darien read over the conversation and gaped. 'I didn't mean to sound that serious! SHIT. I don't like Lita! I mean, she's great and all but…no!' Darien smacked him self in the temples with his palms and let his head fall directly on the key board. "I am such an idiot." He mumbled into the keys, as if they were hanging onto his every word.
Lita was confused, excited and dreading what she was about to do. She had liked Darien for about a month, while Serena had liked him for 3. 'I couldn't date this guy. It would hurt Sere so much. But she said she would be happy for me if we got together…She's lying though. I knew she was lying as she said it.' Lita picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Darien just asked me out."
"What?"
"Yeah, you heard me."
"But wasn't he kidding?"
"I don't think he was, he said it about 3 times in a row."
Silence.
"Serena, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Well, I don't want to hurt you. So I come to ask for a blessing."
"You know I want you to be happy. Just let me tie up some loose ends okay?"
"Sure. Night, Sere, thanks!"
"Night."
Revert back to the present. "So…" Serena said, stealing part of Darien's blueberry muffin. "I wanted to talk to you about Lita." Darien started to say something about the muffin, but had gotten pretty used to sharing his food. Instead, he gazed at her with a confused look on his face. "Lita? What about her?" he mumbled, hoping she hadn't told Serena about their conversation.
"What's going on between you two?"
"Nothing. I made a mistake. I don't like her like that."
Serena gaped at him.
"You suck at life, you know that right?" Serena said.
"Yeah, I seemed to of realized that this past weekend…I don't know what I was thinking."
"Do you enjoy getting girls hopes up? Do you know how many girls pine over you, Darien? It's some girls wildest dreams that you would ask her out. You are not the person to be joking around about things like that. You just aren't."
"No, I don't enjoy it. I just thought it was joke. Look, I took it too far. I know. I'm planning on apologizing to her."
"Good. I guess this isn't necessary then," Serena replied, holding up piece of folded lined paper, covered in words written in blue ink. Darien recognized it as Serena's hand writing. He was surprised at himself, since the girl changed it every week…
"What's that?"
"Nothing. It's not important."
Darien noticed she didn't throw it away, but put it in her shorts pocket. The night before, Serena had written a letter to Darien. It revealed her feelings for him, but also told him that if he hurt Lita he would kill him and not to worry about getting in between her and Lita's friendship. Serena had decided that if she sat down with Darien and tried to tell him all this it would come out wrong. She decided it was no longer needed to embarrass herself.
"At least tell me what it is."
"It was just a letter I wrote to you. It's really not important anymore. Drop it, okay?" She said, Darien translated this into her demanding that he shut up about the stupid letter. He didn't relent for long, though.
Darien groaned. "Let's go." He said, lightly touching her wrist. Knowingly, she walked toward the door and out into the fresh air. The photography class was in the "outback" as it had been called, which was made up of two buildings that used to consist of the whole school. Truthfully, the walk was quite breath-taking, almost romantic, during certain seasons at least. Serena and Darien walked through his locker hall past the courtyard garden, and down the stairs to the path. The concrete path was adorned with white and pink creypmertles and benches for the young children to read on. Serena could smell the large rosemary bush in front of the fifth grade class room. Today, the walk was not so much lovely but more bare and dead due to the coming winter and the hostile feelings being exchanged. Darien was sorting things out in his head, while Serena was still debating over giving him the letter. As the two reached the parking lot they had to cross, Darien stopped.
"If it doesn't matter anymore, why won't you let me see it?"
"Why won't you be a normal guy and not care?"
"Because I DO care about anything that has to do with you." Darien said, almost to himself. He couldn't believe that just slipped out. He didn't even know he had thought that before.
Serena blushed and turned on her heels to keep on walking, hoping to avoid any awkward eye contact. "Serena!" Darien called, grabbing her arm. "You're my friend, and you mean a lot to me. I just want you to know that." Serena cringed at the word 'friend', but quickly hid it with a smile. "Well thanks, but I'm still not letting you see the letter."
"Fine. I don't even care anymore!" Darien playfully groaned, looking at her.
"This is as far as I go." Serena announced, stopping.
"Why do you always stop here?"
"I don't know. I feel weird 'walking you to the door' or whatever." 'Doesn't matter that half girls in your grade think I'm obsessed with you. You follow ME around!'
"Well, I'll see you later then." He said, giving up way to easily for Serena's liking.
Serena absentmindedly slapped his opened hand and turned, walking away from a confused Darien. She was walking back up the path when she ran into a junior in her Spanish class.
"Hey Cody."
"Hey, why do you walk all the way over here everyday?"
Serena blushed.
"With Darien. It's my off hour and I have nothing else better to do."
"Are you guys 'going out'"?
Her face reddened.
"Nooo," Serena replied, laughing.
"Hookin' up?"
"No! Shut up!"
"Whatever."
The weekend before Christmas, Lita and Serena went to a bonfire at Darien's house. It was put on by their church, so just about everyone they knew was there. Serena had gotten separated from Mina and Lita, but when she found them, she saw Mina was reading something. Serena asked her what it was about and she told her "It's just a letter."
Serena shrugged it off, assuming it was something Mina had written and continued to go find Darien. When she went into his room, she found more people than she knew what to do with. She saw him talking to Raye. Raye glanced over at Serena, sending her a glare. Serena graciously backed out, wishing she could make things right again with Raye, completely…
(flashback)
Lita and Serena were sitting around after getting home from their friend Colin's house. Serena started to tell Lita about how mean Raye had been to Darien recently. They got a little carried away and left her voicemail from a private number, lecturing her how cold she was. Raye actually figured out who called her and they all three got in a big fight. Raye was not one to avoid situations.
Serena had not seen Raye since then, and even though they had talked things out and Serena and Lita had apologized, things were still very awkward. Serena decided to avoid Darien all night, for her own safety. As soon as they left, Lita told Serena that the letter Mina had been reading was written by her, and she gave it to Darien. Serena absentmindedly slapped her leg.
"You let HER read it but not ME? I'm your best friend!"
"I'm sorry. I had to give it to him before I chickened out."
"Urgh. Well. Whatever. Just tell me what it said!"
Lita explained to Serena that the letter told Darien her feelings for him, and how much she cherished their friendship. After that weekend, Darien basically ignored Lita. This upset her, but she eventually got over it and moved on to other boys. They rarely ever saw each other, and when they did, it was never really the same.
Serena and Darien continued to hang out, ice skating, parties, movies, mall, anything. Serena sat through Darien's phone rants about the recent girl he liked. He would always question her about who she liked.
"Why don't you like someone?!"
"I don't know. It's just taking awhile to get over Cade, I guess." She lied.
"Tell me about that relationship."
"There's not much to tell. I liked him, he liked me. It just wasn't as real as I thought it was. Puppy love."
"Man, that sucks. Have you liked ANYONE since then?"
"I liked Andrew."
"Liked?"
"Liked. For a month or so. I guess it stopped around Homecoming..."
"You don't like him, seriously?"
"No. Does it seem like I do?"
"Um, yeah."
"No, he's one of my best friends."
"..Oh."
"So you thought I was lying to you every time I told you I didn't like someone?"
"I guess."
"Wow, thanks."
"Well, sorry. It didn't really upset me, I mean, you're allowed to have secrets, you know."
"Hm, thanks for informing me that there's rules, then."
"Man! I'm sorry. That's not what I mean and you know it."
"It's fine, Darien. It doesn't matter anymore."
"You know what? No more secrets."
"I never had any to begin with. Did you?"
"Well, no."
'I'm lying. Straight up, lying. Of course I have a secret! I like you Serena! There. That's my secret. What am I getting myself into?'
February rolled along, and that's where Serena and Darien hit their biggest road block. Once again, it all started at 'the spot.'
"So, there's this new hot chick at Adrienne's school."
"Adrienne, as in Stefan's girlfriend?"
"Yeah. Her names Beryl."
"That's cool."
Darien obviously didn't catch her disinterest and continued rambling.
"She's Lebanese, and she's really pretty. And she cooks pancakes, and you know how I am about pancakes."
"You love pancakes."
"Yeah, and she hangs out with my whole group of friends, which makes it easy for us to hang out, I guess. I don't know much about her personality though."
"Are you going to 'pursue' her?" Serena said, taking a bite out of her croissant.
Darien laughed. "I just might. Or maybe I should just forget girls ever existed and never get married or need another girlfriend. Ever."
"Wait, did you just say you 'needed' a girlfriend?"
"Well, yeah."
"That's stupid."
This 'new, hot chick' soon became Beryl, Queen of All Conversations. It was all Darien talked about, and Serena finally just stopped answering his calls. Winter break came, and Serena and Ami went on a skiing trip together. Serena hadn't had a real conversation with Darien in weeks so it was shock when Ami saw his name on Serena's ringing cell phone.
"Who's calling?" Serena asked Ami, who was closest to her phone at the table they were sitting at on top of the mountain.
Ami glanced at the phone, jaw dropped.
"It's Darien."
Serena tried to act angry, while inside she was happy he had called her.
"Let it ring. I'll call him when we get down the mountain. He's not worth holding us up."
"Okay then."
Serena and Ami skied down the mountain one last time. They each took off all their gear and made their way to the Starbucks in the village. Setting her helmet down on the table, Serena dug out her cell phone from a pocket inside her ski jacket.
"So, you think I should call him?"
"You know you want to."
"Shut up," Ami was right though. "Fine, I will call him."
Serena slowly dialed his number, not having to wait one full ring till he picked up.
"Serena! Hey!"
"Hi Darien."
"Can we talk about something?"
"Sure." Serena said, trying to act bored and distant while really, she couldn't wait to talk to him.
"Well, it's about Beryl. Well, we're sort of dating. No, we are dating."
"Oh, well that's fun."
"Yeah, but I have a problem. It seems that our relationship is all physical, if you know what I mean."
By now, Serena had put the phone on speaker and set it on the table so Ami could hear. Serena rolled her eyes, then shot a glance at Ami, grinning evilly.
"No Darien, I don't know what you mean." She said innocently, suppressing her giggles with her hand. Ami was laughing, trying hard to muffle the sound.
"You know, Serena."
"No, I really don't. Why don't you tell me?"
"We make out. A lot. All the time in fact. It seems like that's all we do."
Serena's laughing died quickly. Maybe she shouldn't have played this game. 'Is this his way of getting me back for being so mean? Making me jealous? What an asshole.'
"I thought that's what you wanted, Darien. I don't see the problem."
"That's not all that I want. I want a relationship. With talking."
"Tell her that then."
"Seriously? That's all I have to do?"
"Sure. Tell her you don't want it to be as physical." Serena replied, tone becoming friendly. 'Stop! You can't be nice to him.'
"Wow, thanks Sere."
"It's fine." She replied, quickly sounding bored again.
"Do you want to hang out tomorrow night?"
"I'm in Colorado, Darien. Plus, you have a girlfriend."
"Oh, okay."
'Yes! He's disappointed.'
"Well, have a good break. Bye."
"Bye Serena."
As soon as they hung up, Serena was fuming. Did he SERIOUSLY just do that? Like, she couldn't even get it through her head. "Did he really just call me to tell me that he and his dumb girlfriend make out all the time?! Did that really just happen? I can't believe that bastard!" At that last word, Serena looked at the phone to make sure it was hung up. "He's an asshole. Text him. Ask him." Ami said, suggestively. "Fine, maybe I will." Serena waited till they got back to the resort before questioning Darien.
'You do realize that you basically just called me to tell me that you and your girlfriend make out a lot, don't you?'
'It's not like that. I wanted your advice.'
'Well, I hope you got what you wanted.'
'I did. Thanks again, Serena.'
Serena didn't reply to the last one. 'That's all I'm good for to him. Advice. Well, no more of it. No more.'
'I am an idiot! That's EXACTLY what I just did to Serena. How could I do that to her? Oh my gosh, what is my problem? Was I trying to make her jealous? Is that the whole reason I'm with Beryl? This is not good.'
Serena didn't have to worry about giving advice to Darien, or talking to him for that matter, for a long time. The whole while that Darien and Beryl were dating, she avoided him as much as possible. The few times she did try to talk to him, he only replied with a joking 'I hate you.' or 'Shut up.' This was how they used to act with each other, but it actually hurt her now. Little did she know that this was Darien's way of keeping his mind off of her, something he had a lot of trouble doing. Serena decided to give up. When Darien did try and talk to her she just rolled her eyes and walked away, normally giving a one word answer to whatever he asked, waving him off. Their walks to photography subsided, as well as phone calls and hanging out outside of school. For that month and half, they each thought the other one cared nothing about them, while in truth; they're all they could both think about.
The only time Serena willingly talked to Darien was at soccer games, but only because she had too. Mina, Rebecca and her had become soccer managers and Darien was on the team. Whenever he came off the field, she would ask him if he needed water, and that was it. Beryl even took it upon herself to come sit on the team side of the soccer field, a place she was clearly not allowed. This made Serena angrier than before. After each game, Serena would have to flee, hoping to not see him kiss her, right there, in front of everyone. Serena wondered if he did this on purpose, just to make her jealous.
Then one night, it all changed. Serena's phone said Darien was calling her, shocked, she couldn't help but answer the phone immediately.
"Um, hello?"
"I broke up with Beryl."
Serena grinned. She would have danced for joy, but she needed to hear the rest of what Darien had to say.
"Okay."
"Well, don't you care?"
"Yeah, I guess. Um, why did you break up with her?"
"She was clingy, and boring. She also thought she was really cool. Which she's not."
"That's never a good combination."
"She also told me she loved me."
"Recently?"
"No, a few weeks ago."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Did you say it back?"
"Yeah. I felt bad."
"You really, really suck. You shouldn't tell someone you love them if you don't. Maybe that's why she was clingy."
Pause.
"I really missed talking to you." Darien replied softly.
"Yeah."
"That's all you can say? Yeah?"
Serena took in a deep breath. Preparing to saw what she had wanted to for over a month.
"You know Darien, right when you started dating her, you stopped talking to me. You didn't need guidance anymore, so you just stopped. You used me. I can't say I missed listening to you talk. Sorry."
"I didn't mean to 'use' you, Serena. I just really respect what you have to say, your opinions. And I know I was a dick the past month and a half. I'm truly sorry. I just didn't know what to say to you."
"I know. Our entire friendship was based off me giving you advice, so when you didn't need it, you didn't know what to say. At least we found out early. Look, I can't keep torturing myself about you, so Goodbye, Darien."
"No! Serena, wait!"
"What?"
Serena smiled to herself.
"I want us to be friends. I miss you. Please? I'm begging."
"Darien…"
"I know I messed up, and I'm sorry I was so offensive all the time. Please, please, please, let's be friends again? I need you."
Silence.
"I guess we could try again…"
