Lou slid the glasses off his nose and set them on the desk as his wife moved from where she had been hovering near the door, her hand cupped his neck and he eased the chair back for her to slide into his lap. He wrapped an arm around her as she curled into his chest, he buried his nose in her hair; he could only imagine how Catherine felt reading this.
"What do you want to do?"He asked her softly, the letter was addressed to her and as much as he wanted to pull his family close and protect them from this pain he understood the pain of the woman's plea.
"I don't know, I mean so much has changed, I don't want to tell Stephanie about it all, and yet I think a part of her already knows; soon we have to tell Adam as it is. Stephanie is ten nearly eleven and Adam is ten. They've heard bits and pieces at school and they know our family is different; they know we're old. Especially now."
He smiled as Catherine shifted to look up at him; he thought back on the last ten years. It hadn't all been easy but it had been good and their children were proof of that. "Why because we took the trip to DC and had to explain to them that they are aunts and uncles? Or we're grandparents?"
He smiled as she glared. "Yeah and my sixtieth birthday didn't tip them off, their friend's parents are in their thirties or forties."
"And yet you do more with them and host more sleep overs than the other parents. Age doesn't matter, what matters is Stephanie knows that we love her no matter what and that we can handle sharing our daughter. Catherine we've survived far worse than this." And it was true, with her health alone, he held onto her tight and didn't kid himself.
"I know, and I know her pain, imagining Lindsay and her girls; not knowing them and living with a marine." Lindsay had fallen for a man in uniform and followed him to Barracks and was raising her little girls in military housing; running the local daycare and loving it.
Still it was hard for Catherine to be so far away from her little girl, but Lindsay was happy and he knew that mattered; so they made a trip every year and everyone loved it. " They don't have grandparent's from my side, I don't like the idea of lying to them but we could meet them; no kids. Talk and tell Stephanie and Adam they are close to me."
He knew it wouldn't fly as soon as it was out of his mouth but he stood on the opposite side of a wall in his own son's life; if Jake had a son he would never hear about it. And their daughter's biological parents had died heroes in their own right, he would always consider Stephanie his own but she could know that two people that would have loved her as much as he and Catherine did weren't a part of her life because they had died to protect others.
"No. I don't want you to do that, they don't have grandparent's any more; we've explained that. Explained it after my mother drank herself to death, if we introduce them we explain it to her and maybe we do enourage her to call them grandparent's; she is part of them as much as us. I just don't want her to doubt our love or the reasons she came to be; now or ever." Catherine sighed, her cheek finding home in his shoulder again and he nodded.
" Let me run them through the system first, then call them back arrange a meet, Stephanie meets our friend's all the time; just think of the mess' she's gotten into."
"And out of, I know, in a way its a blessing its Stephanie and not Adam who has to hear this; I just wish we could wait; but it wouldn't be fair. It isn't fair either way, I don't want to share her and I don't want her to feel she is any less a part of this family because of it; I mean we haven't told them much about before." He heard the hesitation; even now she didn't like talking about the incident.
"Lets play it by ear, we have the weekend, Monday I'll run them and then we talk; make a decision. If it's no we can always go back, if its yes we can't." She nodded and he leaned down to kiss her head; inhaling her scent. " Right now lets go to bed; I want to hold my wife."
With a growl he scooped her up, Catherine worried about everything, she turned sixty and felt old with two ten year olds; he turned sixty but two kids and a beautiful wife kept him young. Yet he knew that he had to take care of the gift he had been given, between his wife and his son he had learned how precious good health was.
Lou let her free in their bedroom and closed the door tightly, letting her go about her evening routine he stripped down to wait on the bed. Watching as Catherine tested her blood sugar and then growled. Coming to the bed she leaned in for a kiss; he already knew. "I'm low, be right back."
"I'll come." He pulled his shirt on and held out her robe; following her downstairs.
Catherine had developed diabetes nearly five years ago; it first presented seriously on Adam's fifth birthday. It was rough, cake and ice cream had sent Catherine's sugar soaring and cleaning up the party and hyper kids had kept her busy and from eating; she crashed for the first time.
It had been a rough year of Catherine trying to regulate her problem with her diet and her body still working occasionally and a few scares. Then they managed to get a new dietician and it helped a lot and learning that a little insulin helped a lot made it much easier.
She put down a piece of toast and he teased her, nuzzling her neck and letting his hands wander. In staying together ten years they had found a level of comfort with each other, safety and family in each others arms that for spells took the place of romance; yet tonight he knew they needed each other.
And he played as she nibbled her toast, she was eating so she didn't crash in the night; Catherine no longer had a choice in when she ate or how much; a little number told her what her body needed. And he'd rather see her have it than race to the hospital in the middle of the night, explaining to the kids why their mom was sick.
She was arching back into him and he smiled into her neck. " Will you wait till we get upstairs."
"No." And to prove a point he slid his hand very low.
"Ten years and you're still horny." Catherine whined, still not pulling away.
"Only for you woman, now are you done?"Turning her around; pulling at the robe. "You want to whine I'll take you right here."
She whined a little but her hands tugged at his shirt and whimpered; if not for the kids he would have and was sorely tempted. Tugging her to his chest he carried her back to their bed.
Much later they lay twisted together, he brushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling; blue eyes overwhelmed him; he saw trust there. And felt it in her, it went both ways.
"I want to know what happened to Brenda Rendense, the case was never closed; they never got that answer." Catherine sighed, and he nodded; that was her business.
"Take a look but it may be a long shot; and not just because it is ten years cold." He didn't want her to feel a compulsion to close it; some cases just couldn't be and she had more than enough on her plate.
"I know, but I need to try."
"I know." He kissed her softly, running a hand through her hair and holding her until she fell asleep. Lou nuzzled into her neck and let himself think for a few moments before following his wife to sleep.
They had survived so much together already, this would pass to; but it would also take its toll. Catherine had hit her stride late in life but the last nine years had seen professional success across the country but they had faced a great deal personally. He knew this would be hard and he didn't look forward to it; it would be harder for Catherine.
There were old memories, and pain that was public knowledge; people stood on both sides of the line and far to often reached out. He nuzzled her neck, the mail that came to the house; he picked it up and read it before setting it on the table. Stephanie and Adam had opened a letter meant for Catherine; from a creep who had managed to get their home address. Catherine had calmed the kids down and he'd been reminded that it took a little more to protect his family; he couldn't screen what got to her office though.
And if she thought about it to much he knew she wouldn't be happy about it, but he had let her see enough of it she was happy with letting him see it. The reality that they both had to face was their children were growing up and it would be better they hear of the past from them; that they knew how much he and their mom loved them. On that he did settle to sleep but his mind was made up; he'd talk to Catherine in the morning.
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