And now, we go for the first situation Bloom faces with the help of her new servants. Poor Valtor... By the way, you'll get an omake if you can spot the Kim Possible reference.

by lord Martiya

Disclaimer: if I owned Winx Club, Helia wouldn't exist. Seriously, he's useless, and was created because a bunch of influent morons believed Flora was a lesbian. Well, maybe he'd still exist, but he would be more than just evidence of Flora being hetero.

01: VALTOR'S LAST STAND

"Now, search a dodo bird."

"BUT IT'S EXTINCT!"

"Don't care."

The Trix enjoyed their beginnings as Bloom's servants. Yes, they had to wear some rings that electrocuted them every time they defied their mistress (or Bloom decided to do that), but they were free from Barney, and could scare the crap out of Alfea with their mere presence. Then Bloom ordered them to obey Mirta in everything, and the fairy who once attempted to be a witch had a mean streak a mile wide.

"Oh, and who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" Mirta asked.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" the Trix chanted unhappily.

"I swear, one day you'll pay for this." Stormy declared.

"In the meantime, give me twenty bucks." Mirta replied.

"You just had to speak, didn't you?" Icy asked her sister.

The sisters prepared to go to the Mauritius Islands searching for the bird when Stella ran to them.

"Orders from Bloom: pack everything, Valtor's still alive and kidnapped Sky, Timmy, Riven and MY BOYFRIEND!!!, and we'll go to finish him." Stella said.

"Anybody knew he beated for that team?" Stormy asked before being slapped on the head by her sisters and Mirta. "Wow, like at Cloudtower!"

"Do I wish to know?"

"No." Darcy replied.


Valtor's last refuge was the Island where the Omega Portal was once located. And the Trix immediatly proved themselves helpful disabling any and all tricks from Valtor with no problem (living with him for nearly a year taught them a lot on his tricks).

"I'M NOT GAY!!! AND I LOATHE INCEST!!!"

"Then how do you explain your attraction for Bloom?"

"WE HAVE THE SAME POWER!!! AND SHE'S NOT MY SISTER!!!"

And annoying Valtor to no end. After all, they lived with him for one year, they knew all his buttons.

"Listen, I have affinity for Darkness and Fire, but I never lusted behind Bloom's split personality nor made strange statements." Darcy replied.

"Yeah, that one was Icy." Stormy added, getting another slap from Darcy. "Hey, you saw her too!"

"Yeah, but embarassing her publicy embarass us too. We're her sisters, after all."

Valtor facepalmed. He had to deal with that for almost a year, but at least they held themselves back when they were his harem. Now they were going all out. No wonder Miss Magix still hired them to test the contestants in the talent portion of the contest, they were truly evil, so much they would even casually embarass each other and themselves if that meant getting on the nerves of the enemy. Then, Valtor got the real hit.

"VACUUM!!!"

As he felt his Dragon's Flame leaving him, and with the Trix still bickering about Stormy's statement, Valtor looked behind himself. And saw Bloom holding the Trix's Crystals of Wisperia while performing her servants' proprietary magic-stealing spell. The magic-stealing spell he himself had helped perfecting to actually steal the magical core of the victim instead of just its energy.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me..." Valtor commented after he lost his magic forever.

"Now, Valtor, why don't you tell me what's happened to my parents?" Bloom asked.

"Because I don't want to?"

"Valtor, for your own good, tell her." Icy suggested.

"Because, you know, I was joking about Icy's lusting..." Stormy continued.

"... but I was serious about Bloom's split personality." Darcy finished.

"Let me guess, Darkar wanted an ultimate henchman and screwed up..." Valtor wondered.

"It wasn't the first time, then." Bloom declared.

"And I am the result. Ok, the Three Ancient Witches did the job, but the blueprints were his own making. Fine, your mother decided she couldn't let me reproduce and acted upon that in plain sight of her husband and the rest of the Company of Light, distracting all the males with simpaty pain and the females with my high-pitched scream, then the Three Ancient Witches popped out from whatever hell they had been banished into, I used my last strenght to knock out the Company and fainted just as the wenches kidnapped the-Oh-my-God..."

"What's the deal?"

"If your split personality is the product of Darkar screwing up with an ultimate henchman attempt, that means SHE IS MY HALF-SISTER VIA MAGIC!!!"

"I knew it was incest!" Stormy proudly declared.

That was when Valtor broke and started crying.

"And he had to deal with them for one year... Poor boy!" Stella commented half-seriously. "Girls, what about a mercy killing?"

"Try it and I'll go on a prank rampage: he'll go to the Asylum and experience He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Bloom declared. A YELLOW-AND-SPLIT-EYED and black-dressed Bloom declared. Bloom's split personality, Dark Bloom.

And seeing everybody's reaction, Nabu (who was in Alfea to see the Trix as servants and tagged along to help his fiance) decided that escaping was not such a bad idea as long as he kept Aisha in his arms bride style. Sadly, someone else was not so smart.

"What will he experience? Barney?" Helia asked.


"What have you done, my son?" Sky's father asked.

"One of my companions named the one thing Bloom fears in presence of her split personality, and I tried to defend him." Sky replied.

"After all the time bombs that very split personality sent Diaspro and all the dirt she dug up on her while you were influenced by the traitress' love potion?"

"Not a smart idea, I know..."

"By the way, could you tell me what she did, exactly?"

"She forced Bloom to get laid with me, then she kicked me hard in the balls, mauled me, gave me what she called a wedgie, had Darcy mind-raping me, and then I awoked here."

"That's a fine example of why you should always think before acting. But what's happened to your companion?"

"Don't know, won't ask."

"Good choice."

"Now, could you take me down? It's getting cold..."

The King of Herakyon looked at his son, pinned on the spear of a statue at the main gate of his castle and dressed with only Hello Kitty slips, then ordered his guards to save him.


"OK, how?" Mirta asked.

"You have no idea of what we found among Valtor stuff." Icy replied.

"And you don't want to either." Stormy added. "Seriously, I know he was an evil wizard, but even evil has limits!"

"Yeah... The entire Teletubbies collection as a torture item..." Darcy continued.

Mirta let the Trix go and swore to never again give them stupid orders. If they HAD found a living dodo bird with thousands of DNA samples to clone back to life the species, she didn't want to know whatever they could pull out of their sleeves.

Author Note

You may call the Trix OOC in this chapter, but that's their true humor. Rarely shown, but they find funny annoying and embarassing people to no end, as ultimately proved in the Miss Magix episode of the first season. About that pageant... Ever wondered how the Trix could prank all the contestants with no reprisal when Faragonda and Griselda were seated at the next table? My guess is that the witches had been hired by the jury to prank the poor girls and the fairies to keep them from killing their victims. And for Dark Bloom... Well, I just love her.