I stood in the shower, letting my body be steamed by the burning hot water. I felt like, if I stood here long enough, all my confusion and fear could wash away down the drain.
But I know it can't.
"All of them..." I mumble, "I was all of them..." I don't even put shampoo in my hair, just let the hot water drench me.
"Divergent..." I breathe the word.
I get out and dry off quickly, pulling on my blue pajamas.
The Abnegation woman told me I was...all of the factions. She even gave me percentages. Funny, she knew I would want them...because I am everything, including Erudite.
I go back into my room, and shove the flash drive I brought with me to the school into my laptop.
The Word document she downloaded to the file was still there.
"Abnegation= 52%
Amity= 37%
Erudite=11%
Candor=5%
Dauntless=3%"
Normally...one faction holds a hundred percent status. The computer is glitchy, because having every faction hold a percentage is never done.
I type a word below the text, in big red letters. I'm not supposed to say it, but my fingers run across the keys.
"DIVERGENT."
A pitiful three percent of me was brave. I did the analysis.
I refused the gun. Twice. Twice, because I was afraid to kill the man, even though he would have tortured me. (I read up the simulation manual.)
I didn't even pick the tazer, which would have lowered Abnegation stats and raised Amity and Dauntless stats, but I chose the hammer, which did nothing but lower my Dauntless status and raise my Abnegation. (The hammer gives an opportunity to save the traumatized girl.)
Three percent.
However, if I picked the bike, that would have cut my Dauntless status deep and raise my Erudite for seeing the riddle.
So, I wasn't a complete coward.
But I was still a coward.
I expected Candor to be my poorest faction, but it wasn't. It turns out, the simulation reads my thoughts too. Therefore, if I did whatever I thought, then I was being truthful to myself.
Most of the time I wasn't. I wanted to abandon the insane girl, I wanted to pick the gun up and shoot the horrid man in the torso.
I didn't. And that's why Abnegation and Amity took the cake.
The door begins to creak open, and I shut my laptop closed.
"What was that?" Helen asks.
"Just some research. Faction percentages. It's still in progress." And that is why I am not in Candor. I chastised myself for typing Divergent in huge red letters.
"Can I see?" Helen leans over. Now I know she just wants to catch me red handed. She never takes interest in my research.
As I open the laptop, I slip my hand under it, and click the battery out.
The screen glitches black.
"What the heck...?!" I feign shock. I put the battery back in, but the computer must be turned back on to reboot. I shake my head and slam the laptop closed.
"Wow, your computer sucks." Helen gets up and sits on her bed, turning on her laptop.
Despite everything, I am exhausted. I roll to my side and fall asleep, without even using my sheets.
The next day I wake up with one single thought.
"Three percent."
It torments me that I was such a coward. Why couldn't I have just grabbed the gun? It isn't hard. I knew it was fake.
But it looked so real. What if something like that was real one day? What if...that window was over a two story drop?
I would die. Die because I'm such a coward.
I think of the Amity. How beautiful it was to live in harmony like that.
I think of the Abnegation. How satisfying the service to others is. The metaphor that woman used...that her service made her life worth while in the end.
But the Amity and that Dauntless. They were like lambs with a wolf, defenseless, silent.
Cowards.
And the Abnegation. The Dauntless made fun of that boy, who walked away, embarrassed, unable to defend himself.
Silent.
And the Candor and Erudite laughed.
And they will keep laughing at him.
...And I will be just another joke for them to laugh at.
I get up.
"Woah." Helen looks at me accusingly, "Okay, you need to get your stuff off my section here!" She motions to her desk, next to mine.
"It isn't on your desk." I motion to the book. It is on my desk, and a little on hers.
"Yeah, it is!" She picks the book up and pushes it over further on my desk.
"Technicalities..." I roll my eyes.
"Did you say something?" She snaps, "If you are going to say something, say it so I can hear!" She glares at me.
A surge of anger goes through me.
I will not be a joke.
"Read my lips, then!" I step to her. I notice I am taller than her. It never felt that way, "The. Book. Is. Fine." I say.
"That was rude." She shakes her head as she looks at me with distain.
"You're rude." I turn to the door, grabbing my laptop.
"Excuse me?!" She stands, her brown eyes flaring, "Just go to that hippie faction already! Gosh!" She grabs her laptop and slams it into its case.
"I'm not going there." I growl.
"Then where are you going?" She demands.
"Take a wild guess."
And I slam the door behind me.
I am walking to the school, where we will choose our new faction. Just like every Choosing Day, our family walks together.
Our maid, Linda, walks with us too. She is wearing her blue scrubs. We pay her to keep the house in check, even though I still end up with chores. She is a nice, tan, older Erudite, and helps clean the labs sometimes in the school.
"Oh sweetie, you look nice today." She says, winking. I see that there is a small mirror in her hand. I remember, she said she transferred from Abnegation to Erudite, and has carried the pocket mirror around ever since.
I look at myself. My hair straight and wispy around my shoulders. I stare and meet two different eyes. White and blue. One can see, one cannot.
"Oh, it looks fine." She snaps the mirror shut and looks at my eye. I can always tell when people look at it, because there is a slight tilt in their head that I have come to notice.
"It was scar tissue." I explain, "Too much of it. The eye ended up rupturing." I say.
"Oh, that is unfortunate." We finally make it to the auditorium and sit. My mom and dad sit next to eachother, and my sister sits next to them. Linda and I sit on the end of the row next to Helen.
"You know...the technology back then was caves and torches..." She says as she runs a finger along the edge of my eyelid, taking a closer look, "Doctors now, they probably could fix this. It wouldn't be perfect but..." She trails off.
"But?" I ask eagerly, placing a hand on hers and bringing it down to her lap.
"Oh...you, would have to stay in Erudite to see, dear." She says, and then leans her head back.
I feel a pit in my stomach.
"The future belongs to those who know who they are..." Jeanine begins. I have seen this woman all over the news. In almost every specialized demonstration, and in nearly every newspaper.
"But we all must make a decision. A decision that defines us. The Great War divided us, but now we stand together." She closes her eyes and clasps her hands together,
"And in standing together, we stand apart. We stand in factions. All have a purpose, all have a place, and all have a faction."
I wish I did.
"Faction before blood." She says as she opens her eyes.
"Faction before blood." We all repeat.
"Helen Grace." The man calls. My sister stands, kisses my mother, then my father, and walks down the steps quickly.
I do not really know what she will do. What was her aptitude? I never got to ask.
She could fit in in Dauntless, or Candor, or even Erudite.
She picks up the knife and slits her finger. Blood oozes out.
She blinks, looking at the bowls one by one.
The drop of blood falls onto the glass.
"Candor." The man says. People clap.
"What?" My mom's eyes go wide. I want to hug her...
But what would that do? Nothing...only prolong her suffering once I choose.
I look over at the Amity.
"Melina Grace." The man calls out my name. I stand and hug my mom tightly for what it's worth.
I hug my dad's neck.
"I love you dad." I say, pouring every ounce of love I have into the four small words.
"I love you too, baby." He says.
And then he lets his last daughter go.
Peacefully. Silently.
Just like me, and everything I try to do.
I step down the stairs, slowly. There is no rail, so I take every step cautiously.
I make it to the bowls. There are five, all standing for the factions. I glance at the bowl with the grey rocks.
The life I could live. The life of servitude and satisfaction.
I look at the Amity bowl.
The life I could live. The life of peace and harmony.
I prick my finger as the dark red blood dribbles out on my fingertip.
All the other factions don't matter.
I have made my decision.
I turn my finger over, and watch the blood trickle.
I don't smile. I don't grin. I don't accept the claps when they come.
The blood burns on the burning hot coals of the Dauntless.
(AN: Third chapter! Huzzah!
Now, one thing that not many people know, is that this character, Melina, is based off of me. It's almost exactly me, aside from the name.
So yes, that white eye, and half blindness is real. Stairs are tricky. :P
However, just to clarify, the characters such as Helen and Jena and Mathias, are only the equivalent of my family up to a certain point. Then they change according to what the story needs. So some things in the dialogue is real, but not much.
I believe I have said too much...so let's go on to the sneak peak of the next chapter:
I Am Dauntless.
"Melina has chosen a faction where she does not belong. Her choice is honorable, but her chances are slim...
How can she survive in a world that is not meant for her?
Get ready for the explosive next chapter as Melina faces the first stage of initiation!")
