A/N: hey y'all! Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter! :) There might be one more soon, but after that, there will probably only be updates on the weekends, because sadly, i start school on Monday :( high school...scary loool.
Anyway...this chap goes out to Ira who reminded me I had this fic...lmao. I shouldn't have to say that, but it's true. So, yay for Ira!
If y'all dont know Ira you should go to the website calzonafans . aimoo . com thay without the spaces. lol. there are lotz of us calzona fans! or. just go to my profile on here and there is a link to the website :)
Raye :)
All day I sat in front of the door.
I sat there not thinking, not blinking, not moving one bit. I don't even remember breathing.
Arizona's murder had hit me hard, obviously. So hard that the days were a blur. Two weeks could pass by and I wouldn't even notice.
To me, Arizona was killed yesterday.
To everyone else, it had been a month.
No, the days didn't go by fast. They went by slow. Unbearably slow.
I've just been so lost, so unaware if things, that the days go by without me noticing.
I'm living one long day.
I didn't even feel the door trying to be opened, or hear the continuous knocking of my roommate Christina.
"Callie!"
I didn't move. I couldn't move.
Mark had drained me. I felt so weak after yelling at him.
"Callie!"
I finally heard her, but I still couldn't move.
I tried to move, believe me. I tried. I just couldn't make my brain tell my limbs to get up and move.
"Mark! She is blocking the door and I don't know if she is asleep or just not moving, but I cannot get the door open!"
"She's not asleep. She doesn't sleep."
"Well then help me!"
"What do you want me to do about it?"
"Talk to her. Get her to move."
"Callie, sweetie. It's Mark. I need you to move away from the door so Christina can get in and help you."
I heard him. I wanted to move. But I couldn't.
"Alright, this isn't working. Help me push the door, man whore."
I heard their hands slap up against the door, and all of a sudden I felt myself moving.
"We're doing it! Come on keep pushing!"
Every 10 seconds or so, I would feel the door push up against my back, and I would slide a little over the wooden floor.
After a while, the door was fully open, and Mark was kneeling in front of me.
He pushed my chin up with two fingers and made me look him in the eyes.
"Have you been sitting there since I left?" he asked me.
I just stared at him, my head tilted to the side.
He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Alright. I have to go to work 20 minutes ago. So, I'll see you tomorrow, Cal. Be good for Christina," Mark said.
He kissed me on the forehead and then stood up.
Suddenly, my arms felt strong. Stronger than they have in a long time, and before I knew it, they were wrapped around one of Mark's legs, forbidding him to move.
"Callie, I have to go to work. You understand, right?" Mark asked, looking down at me.
My arms tightened around his leg.
He placed a hand on my head.
"Callie," he said, and I could tell he was getting frustrated.
"Don't leave me," I whispered.
"Aww, Callie. I promise I won't be gone for long. I'll be back before you know it," Mark assured me.
I nodded slowly and released his leg.
He quickly left, just to make sure I wouldn't capture him again.
I looked at Christina now. She looked away awkwardly as our eyes met.
"Are you hungry for dinner?" she asked, breaking the silence.
"Not really," I mumbled.
"Well, ummm, Mark told me I have to make you eat, anyway. So, ummm, how about I order a pizza?" Christina asked.
"No!" I yelled.
Christina made me dinner practically every night, unless she was busy with work and then Lexie or Meredith or Derek would come over.
But she has always made me something. She had never asked to order a pizza.
She was taken aback at my sudden outburst.
"I'm sorry, I just had a long day at work," Christina defended herself.
"That was ours," I said, talking about the pizza.
She didn't need me to explain who I meant when I said 'ours'.
"Oh! I'm sorry. How about...spaghetti?"
I nodded.
"Alright. Come sit at the counter. You can watch," Christina said.
When I didn't move, she walked over to me and pulled me off the floor, putting an arm under my shoulders, leading me to the counter.
She sat me down at the counter and began making dinner.
After dinner, and after Christina had gotten me ready for bed, Christina laid me down and tucked me in.
"Goodnight, Callie. Umm, sweet dreams?"
"That's gonna happen," I said sarcastically.
Christina's pager went off and she took it out and looked at it.
"Oh, I have to go. Take care, Torres," she said, and then she was gone.
This was the first time I had been alone at night. Someone had always been in the apartment with me at night.
I felt so alone.
I turned on my side, and placed my hand on the edge of Arizona's pillow.
I breathed in deeply, still having the scent of her strawberry shampoo strong on the fabric.
I smiled slightly, the first thing near to a smile ever since she died.
Maybe I was getting better.
Now that I was alone, I felt like I could talk to her, without anyone thinking I was crazy.
This wasn't a Denny Duquette situation. I couldn't see her. But you can talk to anyone, can't you? Even if you can't see them?
"Hi baby. I miss you. I love you. I think Mark is doing all he can for me, trying his best. And Abby. Have you seen her lately? She's growing. And Christina. I think she is trying to change for me. And it's scary! I mean "sweet dreams"? Where did that come from?"
In the distance, I could hear music. My music. Music to my ears.
In the distance, I could hear her cheerful laughing.
