Author's note: Hi, guys! Since i saw how many people read this story (and no one sent me any death threats) I figured i could do a few more chapters of this story. They'll be fairly short and be posted at random times so don't assume this will be the major story for this year. That's going to be the origin stories for my kids which i still need to 1. figure out how i'm going to post them and 2. write them. You will see a lot of interaction with their parents as well as their parents reactions as they watch their kids grow in the origin stuff. Ok, that's all. Review, favorite, follow, etc.
Edit: Still no death threats. Still updating. I might add a chapter where you see the Graysons immediately after Starfire dies.
Dick Grayson has plenty in his life to feel guilty about in his life- everything from personal fails to mission fails, but the times that the guilt was most horrible was when he messed up with his kids. He hasn't spent a lot of time with his younger kids, but that's not his fault. Sapphire has his and Kor'i's temper, but she also has his intelligence and her mother's mercy. Richie is definately his son, with the same stoic nature. Emerald… His throat closes as he thinks of his youngest daughter. He loves them all, but it hurts to be near them.
The guilt that's eating away at him right now is due to his oldest daughter. Sophie had come into his office an hour ago worried about her little sister and it ended with them fighting. He rarely fought with her like that when she was thirteen. Mostly they argued about training or missions, things that not a lot of fathers discussed with their daughters. Dick hangs his head and sighs. Who was he kidding? It's been three and a half years since he last had a hand raising his children. He's not a father to them anymore. Not the kind they deserve anyway.
"Hey, man." Wally and Artemis come into the office where he has been hold up for the last two days. They're two of his oldest friends, and even they have a hard time figuring out what he's thinking.
"Hey, What's up?"
"Two of your daughters just yelled at each other fo a solid five minutes. Sapphire was going on about how Sophie wasn't her mother and she could go to hell. Sophie yelled something about how she was trying and no one fucking saw it." Artemis raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to explain.
"We had a fight."
"No shit, sherlock." Artemis sits on his desk and half stares half glares at him.
"Why are you looking at me like that!?"
"Because we're worried about you, dumbass," Wally leans against the desk opposite to his wife. They clearly weren't going to leave until they heard everything, so that's what he told them. Wally shakes his head," Dude, really?"
"How am I at fault?" Dick asks through gritted teeth.
"I'm not saying you are, but- Sophie is right. You haven't been there for your kids. You lost your wife, but they lost their mom. You of all people should understand what that-" Artemis silences Wally with a dark glare.
"I do understand. I understand how they must be feeling, I just… I don't know how to talk to them. It's not like I know the first thing about my younger kids. Hell, I don't even know how to talk to Sophie."
"Dick, do you really think it's been easy for any of us?" Artemis asks," And don't say it's different because of the family dynamics or powers or whatever the hell you want to say it is. We've been gone for almost four years, and you're right it isn't your fault that that happened, but you have to consider how hard that was. They were only a few years older than you were when…" Artemis falters not wanting to compare what happened to them as to the death of his parents. He seems to get the idea though so she moves on," They suddenly weren't a bunch of teenagers forming a team. They had to take care of three babies and protect the city."
"We did almost the same thing." Dick points out.
"Yeah, but we also had normal lives outside of being heroes. Other than Parker, none of them have had a normal life. Matt and Jania, as hard as we tried, learned early on that they had to look out for each other. Because Arty and I were never garunteed to come home." Wally points out," Look, I've been here a few months longer than you all have. You think I showed up and the kids just threw their arms around me, calling me daddy? Jania was furious with me, with what happened. After he got over being super thrilled of finding me, even Matt wouldn't trust me. It took me a good month before they started to talk to me like anything other than a patient. Jania didn't start calling me Dad until a month before we found you all."
"My kids aren't like yours."
"Yeah, because your daughter was an only child for thirteen years, and the triplets are four. I'm pretty sure I know what you were expecting. You wanted her to still be your little girl. The one that asked you question after question, the one that laughed when you chased her, the one who called you to chase away the monsters, the one that never dreamed that you could hurt her." Wally shrugs," I wanted the same thing, and to be honest, I'm happy I didn't get that girl. Our daughters, all of them in your case, are strong. They are different and powerful and brave. Lila was willing to die because she refused to believe that her only choice was to kill her brother. Jania, God love her, has a strong moral sense of right and wrong, but doesn't mind breaking rules if it helps someone she loves. Emerald still asks us if we're ok every morning, even though she hasn't smiled in God knows how long. Sapphire, despite her temper, has hugged her brother and sister every day. Sophie loves her brother and sisters. I've seen her with them. She makes sure that they eat, sleep, bathe, and other things that most older sisters don't do."
Dick looks at a picture on his desk. Sophie is about seven years old in it, wearing a white gi with a red belt. She smiles at the camera, issing teeth, bright green eyes shining and thick black hair in pigtails. Dick can't help but smile a little at the eager look in her eye. Then the smile falls," You know by the time she was eight, she could kick my ass in fights. It wasn't even because of her powers. Sophie fought smart, didn't throw more punches that she had too. I was- am so proud of her."
"But…" Artemis says, noticing the concentrated look on his face.
"When my parents died, I remember telling myself I never wanted kids because I couldn't put my kids through the pain of losing me. Then I joined Bruce, and it just seemed to be the best option. Why bring a child into the world when there's this chance that I could be killed? Then they showed up," Dick smiles again," Four years before they were all born and there they were."
Artemis and Wally know what he's talking. Almost twenty three years ago, Jania had arrived in 2016, at the age of 17. Which was great because she helped get her father back from the speedforce. Then she got poisoned and ran away just as Matt and Sophie had shown up. They understand how odd it had been seeing their children, especially when Matt had been born three years later. But it also gave them hope when the kids went through rough patches, because they knew that they would get through it.
"When I saw her, I thought it was like with Connor. Someone cloned me, or she was punking me, or something. I kept thinking, she can't be mine, she can't. Then that building exploded and we should have died. We would have if she hadn't caught that wall." He pauses," There was this one moment, after she pushed the wall away, that she looked so beaten down. Like the weight of the world was pressing on her shoulders trying to see how much harder they needed to press until she broke, but she pushed back. That's when I knew. I knew she was ."
"She was freaking scary when that happened," Artemis says," My first thought was, holy shit, I don't want to piss her off."
"Gets that from her mother." Dick suddenly gets this very tense look on his face, and blinks rapidly. Artemis places a hand on his shoulder, and speaks firmly.
"I know you miss her. We all do. But you can't let that pain be the only thing that you feel."
"And you can't lock it out." Wally says," That might keep the bad away but it also keeps out the good."
Dick looks at the only other picture on his desk. It was taken a few weeks before the adults were taken. The kids were all in Sophie's room, fast asleep. Sophie had been studying for something and the triplets liked climbing on their big sister. Emerald cuddles close to Sophie's arm. Sapphire (or was it Emerald) curls up of her sister's back, with little Richie sleeps on her book. Kor'i smiles at the sleeping kids, like she was trying to say they're so sweet and they're ours.
"I've been a dick, haven't I?" Dick asks.
"Well it's your name so…." Wally accepts the swift and painful punch from his wife.
"You've made bad decisions," She says to Dick with an evil glare at Wally," But you can fix them."
Dick stands up," I need to find my daughter."
He leaves the room and goes to where he's almost certain Sophie will be- The training room. Whenever a grayson needed to think of things, they cleared their head by training. He's sort of right, meaning one of his daughters is in there. Emerald tries to backflip across the squishy mats only to fall flat on her face. Emerald hits her temples in frustration.
"Come on, Emmy." She says sharply to herself. She stands up and runs across the mats before flinging herself forward. She throws herself into a series of back flips. The whole setup is perfect except for the landing. She stumbles back and falls on her butt," DARN IT!"
"Emerald," The little girl spins around, red curls flying everywhere. There is a small moment of pain when he sees her but he pushes it down. Her green eyes fill with tears.
"I'm sorry, Daddy!" She starts to cry. Dick is taken back by her sudden outburst. She cries and cries. Dick moves over and hugs her. She cries into his shoulder," I'm sorry, Daddy. I don't mean to remind you of Mommy. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry, Emerald. I'm so sorry." He holds Emerald as she cries into his shoulder. Emerald breathes in his scent. The mint smell reminds her of Sophie. It makes her feel safe.
