I wasn't planning on a second chapter, as I didn't want to detract from the first but I just couldn't leave it the way it was. I'd also never realised how disheartening it was to see the numbers of hits go past 150 with only 2 people feeling that the story was worth a few minutes of their time in leaving a comment so a big thank you to Integrity21 and Dreamer-.-LYNX But anyway, onwards and upwards
Disclaimer: I do not own anything
Max
For hours we sat, lay, knelt next to each other, sometimes talking and sometimes just looking at each other, almost in disbelief at the others' presence and proximity. I couldn't help myself from reaching over every so often just to touch his hand, to convince myself that he was really there. And every time the warmth of his skin radiated to mine letting me know that a dream had really come true. I knew he must have felt similarly as each time my hand met his, his fingers closed over mine in reassurance and his eyes found my own.
We'd decided to stay in the cave instead of maybe going to a café to talk as I'd always felt uncomfortable discussing a mutant life after escape from a dog crate in a place where mothers are helping their own young children lead normal lives. It turned out to be a good decision too as we watched first the sun go down leaving a smudge of light behind and then the stars, one by one, replace it, equally glittering, in the sky. At that moment we sat quietly in the darkness gazing out with Fang's arms wrapped tightly around me, as we had often done together once the rest of the flock had gone to bed
Fang had missed out on some of the most exciting years in the lives of the younger children but from his stories it didn't seem as though he had been pining for us. His now well-established computer company was flourishing and took him all over the world discovering places that before we had only the means to dream of. However, despite the glittering life he seemed to have led I could not find any trace of another human being with whom he had established any kind of deep, meaningful friendship or love. And no matter how selfish it was, as for many years I at least had had the company of the flock, I could not feel guilty that I was glad he had not found someone to replace us.
Perhaps he was omitting things so as not to sour our meeting and if he was I could not judge him for it for I too had not been entirely truthful, but the life he painted no matter how glamorous seemed empty of human contact and he lacked enthusiasm in describing it. It was also clear that a parting shot from Iggy as he left that he was going to go to Fang had been unfounded. Fang had had no more contact with the Flock than he had had with me since he left and again a sharp pain shot across my chest as I realised Iggy had been prepared to go that far to hurt me.
I wondered whether Fang have noticed that the memories of the Flock I was trying to pass onto him were all over a limited time period, say excluding the last 8-10 years. How would he react to the fact that through my actions they had all become separated from each other and from me, that we had lost our togetherness and our being as a flockafter his departure, that they had felt their lives would be better fulfilled without me in them? Would he blame me for having let them get lost and would he turn from me too? I knew I couldn't try to keep it from him but I would only go as far as to promise myself to answer him truthfully when he, as he inevitably would, ask. It would not be me who would break the first, thin thread of understanding and compassion that I had established with someone in a long time.
Fang
As we watched the first stars prick silver against the velvet darkness of the sky I begun to revert back to the person I once was. Years of solitude and a lack of establishment had left me wandering from place to place, city to city in search of short term amusement, but as I lay against Max I felt that I had finally found a place that I could call home, that is, where ever she would be.
What I'd always regretted the most was not seeing Nudge, Angel and Gazzy grow up, I'd known Iggy and Max could take care of themselves, yet judging by how Max's eyes never left me and how she kept reaching out towards me as if I would disappear again, perhaps I had been wrong. The memories and milestones that I thought I had missed for ever were acted and sketched out for me over the next few hours as Max borrowed in turn Iggy's, Angel's, Nudges and Gazzy's accent and mannerisms to illustrate the years that I had missed.
I heard of Nudge's first boyfriend and we both laughed over Iggy's protective reaction to it. Max seemed to waiting for some expression of shock on my hearing of Iggy and Nudge's relationship but I had often suspected and wondered that Max had not as she had got to know them longer than me.
Her pride was evident in telling me of Gazzy's sporting successes at university and she wasn't alone in that. Who would have known years ago that one day our fights with Erasers would be so advantageous in a basketball game? Though conversely I didn't want to know how he managed to intimidate the members of the opposing team
She described how beautiful Angel had looked as Prom Queen, with her hair like this and her dress like that, the small details didn't interest me but what did interest me was how well my family seemed to have done in life. I thought there would have been resentment in me; that there lives had moved on so swiftly and so successfully without me, but there was only pride in what years ago I may have been a small part of and hopefully soon would be a larger part of.
But I suppose like everyone, I too had not wanted to admit how much I regretted leaving so many years ago. I painted my life truthfully but with the knowledge that others would have found more joy in it than I did. While perhaps Iggy would have loved the difference in sound of Provencal France and Nudge would have relished the fashion of Milan, I could only ever think of the nights in front of the television eating ice cream with those I loved that I had missed.
Enjoying Max's anecdotes for their teenage years it suddenly struck me how grown up they would now seem when I saw them so far removed from these stories. They could even be married or have children by now! Realising this I then asked the question that had been nudging me for a while, "Max, where are the rest of the flock right now?" She looked straight back at me through wide and sorrowful eyes, "I lost them Fang, I'm sorry, but they got lost."
Any length of reviews, suggestions and constructive criticism are very welcome
