Order in the Court!
Ch. 2 Jury of Peers?
AN: I am glad you guys found the story funny!* (Or maybe you guys said it cause you felt pity for me XD) Anyways I kinda had a revelation with my life, to summarize I ended up deleting and donating all my video games today in order to focus more on the stuff that matters. Though one part of me is like: what I am I gonna do now XD. Jk I spend the majority of my free time on youtube anyways haha.
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"Order!" Robin yelled as she slammed her gavel on to the kitchen table.
The blonde and the green haired man glanced away from each other, before continuing their bickering.
Sighing, Robin crossed her hands across her chest. The two immediately stopped talking, as several popping noises could be heard. After abrupt grunts, and a muttered attempt at 'Robin-chan' the two stopped what they were doing.
Looking around the room, Robin spoke, "We are going to have to choose roles." The men in room all agreed with a mixture of head nods and smiles. "We must first choice a jury" she spoke again, this time receiving groans. "Since we don't have many people, everyone except Luffy and Sanji must go through jury selection."
"But why do we have do it?" Franky complained.
"Yeah all we do is sit there! That hurts my butt after a while! Oh wait I don't have a butt! Skull Joke!" Brook exclaimed.
Looking blankly at the disheartened group Robin continued, "for this trial ... the jury has the final say."
Almost all the men turned towards her with stars in their eyes. All except a green haired man and a certain chef whose jaw crashed to the ground.
"I want to be on the jury!" everyone except Sanji yelled at the same time.
"Objection!" Sanji yelled as he slammed his fist on the table. "With my deepest and longing respect Robin-chan, I can not allow these shit heads to dictate this!" he said, as he pointed towards the excited group.
"Overruled," Robin said. Sanji's jaw seemingly broke through the floor from the news.
"But this is against the law! If we were in a real co—" Sanji tried to explain.
"I am the rule of law!" Robin threatened as she crushed her gavel against the kitchen table.
Sanji found himself without words, as a silent swordsman put a hand to his shoulder. "I think those panties belong to you," Zoro mocked as he dodged a spiteful black leg.
"Shitty Marimo! Last time I checked you wear diapers, because all you do is eat, sleep, and shit!" Sanji sheathed as he reached for his front pocket.
"How would you know if I wear diapers?. Don't tell me your ga—"
"Don't speak you sh—" Sanji broke in, but was overshadowed by someone's booming voice.
"Of course he likes men! Yohohohoho! He likes you! Unless of course you really are a women," Brook mocked as he began to break out into a fit of laughter. The remaining crew members laughed as well, though Zoro and Sanji remained speechless.
"That's right! Weren't you guys making lo—"
"Shut the hell up you shitty cyborg! And you too you shitty skeleton!" Sanji yelled as his feet began to erupt with flames. Jumping into the air, Sanji was bent on making a shoe mark on both the perverts faces. An inch away from Brook's skull, Sanji abruptly stopped in mid air, as his joints began to pop in various places.
"There will be no violence in this court!" Robin yelled, as she pointed towards the mangled mess on the floor. "Are we understood?" she asked with less venom.
"Yes Robin-chan~!" Sanji proclaimed in his dysfunctional form. Unfazed by his injuries, Sanji got up with hearts in his eyes as he chased around the table. Pulling out a rose from his front pocket, he got to his knee as he approached the raven haired judge. "Robin-chan the way you held me so tight ... shows me that you must have come from the heavens, and I devoted bel—"
"Enough of this bullshit! Let's get this on the road!" Zoro complained. The swordsman took a deep huff as he glanced away with a frown.
With a slight smirk, Robin looked towards the disgruntled man. "Zoro, since you're so adamant about starting this, why don't you answer Sanji's questions first," she asked.
Turning towards her, he smiled and said, "gladly."
"You can't allow this shit head t—" he mouthed, but stopped when he saw Robin's serious demeanor.
"Sanji you have an opportunity to create a jury that is impartial," she instructed as she pointed towards the group. "Ask them any kind of question to show if they have any heavy biases. This is your opportunity to control the court," she said.
"My pleasure Robin-chan!" he announced as he ran back around the table. The hearts in his eyes were replaced with fire and hateful vengeance towards all the men making a mockery of him. "All right shitty Marimo. Ready to make a fool of yourself?" he asked as he took out a cigarette.
"I was going to ask that same question," Zoro replied with a devilish smirk.
Ignoring his comment, Sanji looked over towards the excited bunch. "This case involves the theft of one of my angels property by that shitty bastard!" Sanji yelled as he pointed towards the carefree smiling captain. "Have any of you heard of his thievery previous to this court case?"
"Of course! You have been blabbering about it all day!" Zoro complained as he took a seat.
"I still don't see why you want those panties," Brook said as the cook's eyebrow furrowed in response.
Smirking at Brook, Sanji ignored Zoro's insult as he approached the tall skeleton.
"Brook and Franky …" he began, as he looked over towards the cyborg, then back towards the bony man. "Would you identify yourselves as perverts?" he asked with a satisfied smile.
"I would never!" Brook claimed. Though when Sanji revealed the white cloth from before, he began to chuckle. "I do say! Would you be so kind as to show me your pan—" he said, before getting kicked hard across his skull.
"Franky," Sanji said as he moved towards the man. " Do you or do you not identify as being a pervert?"
"Of course I am not a pervert!" Franky exclaimed as he looked towards the side. "I have no idea what you are talking about!" he argued, as he backed away from the incoming cook.
"What is one of your moves called again?" he asked as he got right in front of him. "That's right I forgot!" he yelled, kicking Franky's bare shin hard.
Leaping back in pain as his metal legs abruptly came forward, Franky painfully cried, "HENTA—!"
His voice became inaudible as multiple hands spread across his metal body. With a short series of cracks and pops the cyborg crashed to the ground.
Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, Sanji approached the table again. "As you can see these men have heavy biases. I cannot allow these shit heads to have the last say. That's why I ask you to remove Brook and Franky from the jury," he ended, putting the cigarette back in his mouth.
"Then it's settled," Robin replied, as Sanji began to spin in circles professing his love. "Usopp, Chopper, and Zoro will serve on jury," she announced, as Sanji stopped mid swoon.
"What?" he gasped as his cigarette fell to the floor. "That shitty swordsman is the most biased bastard here! You can't allow him to sit on jury!" he tried to dissuade.
"We simply don't have enough jurors," Robin said with her usual poker face.
"But Robin-chan" he begged. Though he could tell her attention was elsewhere.
"All we need now is a defendant and someone to record this court case." Robin exclaimed with a silent grin.
"I could totally combine the dials with one of my inventions to make a super recorder!" Franky yelled as he got to his feet.
"And I can be the lawyer to see more of those panties! Yohohohohoho!" Brook cheered as he looked over to the defeated cook.
Yeah we can finally start!" Luffy cheered, seeing that everyone had a job. Though when he caught sight of the cook he moved over to him with a slight frown. "What's wrong? The court hasn't even started!" Luffy reasoned as he put a hand on his shoulder.
Sanji still had a tight hold of the cloth but brought it out for his adversary to see, "what's the point? The jury is filled with Marimos—"
"What the hell is going on here?" the feisty navigator yelled. All of sudden, Luffy found himself pushed towards his furious nakama.
"What the hell are you doing with my clothing?" Nami sheathed, her hands had already formed into clenched fist.
Looking down, Luffy felt his hands clench and unclench the cloth between his fingers. Looking back towards her he tried to explain. "Hey Nami! We were about to have a court case to see who took this!" he announced as he started to twirl the cloth around with his pointer finger. "Do you want to pla—?"
"This is not a game!" she yelled as she repeatedly wailed on the young man.
"Court is adjourned until further notice" Robin announced as the rest of the crew nodded in agreement. As the rest of the crew finished piling out of the room, Luffy's brushed and beaten body wailed:
"I didn't do it!"
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I know it's a short chapter :P I was just trying to set up the funny but ludicrous court case to come. And yeah I changed my profile picture to the dial Nami had from the movie Strong World. I just felt the dial is an accurate representation of the LuNa pairing. Basically the pairing is madly hinted at by Oda, but he is keeping it just out of reach (making it officially canon) just like the dial.
