Chapter 2

Chock Full of Non-issues

She moved back, knowing the bullets were running out. 'Why won't you die!' She screamed furiously, eyes wide with panic just as the empty clicks began to sound instead of bullets.

The chamber was empty. Fear gripped her as the Wraith lunged for the kill. She ducked his hand, coming up with a punch. The Wraith blocked, catching and twisting her arm behind her. It threw her up against the wall with such force that she felt the skin on her cheek split, the warm blood trickling down her face. Chase kicked back hitting its abdomen and making it stumble slightly, leaving her enough room to aim one at its head – hard. The heel of her boot smacked into its face and it released her. She slid to the ground, a crumpled mess, trying with every ounce of energy that she had left to stand and face it, but could only stumble to her knees in agony.

The Wraith roared at her and advanced. Chase shrieked when a blast sounded and the creature jerked violently, eyes wide. It fell to the ground and Ronon charged over it toward her. His brown eyes were focussed and burning with the heat of battle.

'Come on!' He yanked her up by the arm and threw her into the path toward the gate. She stumbled, her leg hurting somewhere she couldn't discern.

'Dodson!' She said worriedly, just as Sheppard and Mackenzie pulled the man to his feet.

'Move!' Sheppard roared. It seemed as though they had taken care of the Wraith on the ground, but the dart was still in the air, a sudden missile being fired at it from a bazooka somewhere ahead.

Exhausted, in pain, and confused beyond all hell, she ran with them. Her head injuries caused her vision to blur, the adrenaline pumping through her making her feel sick as her feet hit the ground one at a time. The world slowed as her thoughts concentrated only on getting to one destination. To think of anything else would shatter her.

Eternity inside of a few minutes was over, the Gate was already dialled and the only one waiting behind was Teyla, beckoning them on as the dart came back for another dive.

Chase was hurried through onto the other side, her ears ringing with the sudden change in noise. The Gate room was full of people, mostly those who had been on the mission, waiting to see who would return and who wouldn't. There was a sense of relief when the Gate shut down. No one had been lost.

Christina stumbled to the side as the medical team roared through. Carson scanning the group for the injured. She didn't know why, because she knew she was in bad shape, but she turned away. Carson honed in on Dodson and he was taken away, the bed being moved at running speed to the infirmary. She wandered down the corridor, dazed, the world spinning, the wall under her hand to guide her as to what was up and what was down.

Her mind on total cruise control took her to one place – her room. She swiped at the door controls and fell through the door. Everything hurt, everything, but her head was in agony, so much pain. She tore the vest from her torso and yelled at the sharp pain in her side as it released her. It hurt to see lights and movement; the dizziness took hold of her as she clambered to her feet and headed for the toilet just in time. The nausea was too much for her.

With great effort, she flopped onto her bed ignoring the pains and the blood, covering her eyes with her arm to welcome the darkness.

She woke a while later, cold and finally in the dark, the lights of the city distant outside her window. Her body thudded with pain, but the main areas were now far more noticeable. Her head and her cheek for one, the blood there now sticky with age. Her knee and her side ached, and stung sharply if she moved too quickly.

Chase stood shakily and limped toward the mirror, daring to turn on a small lamp beside it. She gasped. Her reflection was horrific. Her hair was sticking out at odd angles, framing a pale face which was shocking against the dark red of blood oozing from a gash on her cheek. She touched it gingerly, remembering the feeling of it splitting as she hit the wall. Her stomach turned again and her thought was of running to the loo, but it wasn't needed. Her green eyes stared back dull and miserable.

Dodson had been injured because of her simple mistake - such a small thing. But she couldn't have left it there. The Wraith would have benefited from finding it and that was unacceptable. But to have such a lovely man to experience something so terrible. For a horribly guilty moment, the thought crossed her mind that she hadn't asked him to follow her, but if he hadn't it would have been her the Wraith had fed on.

Chase headed for the door, thinking only that he was alive, but she didn't know how badly he was injured. She had come here straight after…the lights in the hall gave her a start. She was jumpy, probably had a concussion. God knows how long she had been taking her little nap.

She saw a few scientists on her way who glanced at her, obviously not seeing her, and continued talking, none of them coming to her aid. The corridors were bare, so Chris assumed it was late. Time wasn't really all that important right now.

She turned down another empty corridor and her knee gave way in pain, she let out a shout and held onto the wall, cursing. She stood shakily, eyes searching the corridor, not wanting to be seen. She breathed deeply through the agony and realized that it only made her side hurt.

She hobbled toward the infirmary, finally arriving at the door and slowly turning into it. No one could be seen, just one bed was occupied. She crossed over to him; the room small and suffocating – god, those lights hurt her eyes.

She stopped by his bedside, his chest rising and falling gently. Christina stared at the once young and handsome man, the lines of his face now lax with age. His chocolate coloured skin was more wrinkled, and his dark hair no longer black as night, but tinged with silver and white. He looked, maybe, twenty years older. She automatically took the seat at his side, her body moving according to what hurt less without even thinking of it. Had it been that long? She was firing at the Wraith for what seemed an eternity, but she had been sure that she had got it off just in time…enough time to let him live. Would it have been a mercy to let him die?

She reached out a dirty hand and took his, holding it firmly. 'I did this to you.' She whispered. 'I'm so sorry.'

Tears welled, and another wave of debilitating nausea took her, the room was spinning fiercely and she leant back in her chair, tucking her knees under her and placing her throbbing face onto them as she cried silently.

She didn't hear the sounds of the new comer, didn't feel his surprised eyes upon her, didn't hear the footsteps as he approached.

'Where on earth have you been? I've just finished examining the last the people on the mission and was about to send out a search party for you.'

The Scottish accent knocked her out of the darkness and she raised her head in slight fear.

'Carson.' She said, wiping her eyes and letting her feet drop to the floor. Her knee screamed at her and she clutched it for a moment before looking up at him.

'Good God, Christina.' He rushed over dropping to his knee, his hands lifting her face. 'What happened?'

The blue eyes swept over her and he raced to the stacks to get some supplies. 'The blood's almost dry - why didn't you come to me?'

'Had an encounter with a Wraith.' She said bitterly.

'No one told me that you were injured, I didn't even see you in the Gate room.'

'You had bigger things to deal with.' She said quietly.

'Any injury is worth my attention, love.' He said softly and guided her to the bed across from Dodson. 'You'll need stitches, but before I do them let's get you under an x-ray, you could have fractured your cheek bone.' His hands felt probingly about her head, and came away sticky. He flashed a pen light in her eyes. Her senses were groggy. 'Have you passed out? Been sick at all or had dizzy spells?'

'All of the above.' She said pitifully.

Carson wasn't the kind of man to scowl, but his eyes said everything. 'Why didn't you come to me sooner? You have a concussion, the kind that needs serious medical attention.'

'I was…' Her voice faltered and she shook her head.

'What else hurts?' He asked, wiping the blood away.

'My side…my right knee - keeps giving out on me.' She sniffed, straightening her back as he prodded her midsection. She winced. He looked up at her and sighed.

'Let's get you over to the scanner. I want a full body x-ray.'

She allowed him to guide her. She lay on the cold table, feeling its hardness beneath her was painful on her side but she didn't care. Chase stayed still as the machine swept over her, Carson crossing to the screen to have a look at her results.

'There's swelling around the knee affecting the joint, you've jarred it badly. It'll have to be wrapped. Apart from that, painkillers and an anti-inflammatory are all I can recommend…that and rest. As for your side – you've broken the third rib, and I'm sure you know there's little I can do for that.' He shook his head and helped her into a sitting position, placing his hands on either side of her and sighing. 'I don't know what you were thinking, young lady, but you should have come straight to me. I want you in over night for observation – don't argue.' He added sternly, seeing that defiance through her green eyes burning silently. 'I need to monitor your head injury to check for swelling or any other upsets. As for your face…' He cupped a hand and gently turned her chin upward. 'It's going to hurt like a mallet to the foot for a while. I'll prescribe a course of antibiotics as well.' He said, eyeing the dirtiness of her body.

Chase felt a pang of embarrassment. 'Sorry.'

Carson's blue eyes showed his confusion as he smiled kindly at her. 'What on earth for?'

'Being so useless, and getting floored by a …'

'Blood thirsty killer?' Carson finished, looking unsure as to why she was apologising.

Her eyebrow arched. 'You know what I mean.'

'I surely don't. It wasn't your fault that you were almost killed by a Wraith.' He said kindly, seeing her expression of misery. Chase smiled bitterly. Wasn't it? 'Cheer up. You'll be back to normal in no time.'

'And Dodson?' She asked quietly.

Carson shook his head. 'Little is known about the feeding process. He could get better as his body is able to recover, but then, the life taken may never come back.' He put a hand on her shoulder. 'We're running tests, and I'm hopeful.'

Chase knew what that meant, but smiled all the same. He was a good man.

'Thanks Carson.' She sighed.

'Right, my dear, once I've done these stitches, I'll report your condition and that of Dodson's to Elizabeth-'

'Carson.' Chase hopped off the bed, putting her weight on to her good knee. 'It's not necessary to tell them about a few broken bones, I mean, not in comparison to – ' she indicated to Dodson. She didn't want them knowing the full extent of her injuries.

Carson shook his head. 'Every injury is a bad one, love, plus you took quite the beating and Elizabeth needs to know you won't be in fighting shape for a few weeks.' He smiled as he approached her with the needle and thread, injecting her with a strong painkiller to take away her pains. 'Now let's get this done, and have you cleaned up, mh?'

She forced a smile.

The next morning she woke to the bright rays shining in through the window at the end of the room. Her body ached but had a lightness to it that informed her that whatever drugs Carson had her on were working their wonders. She turned her head on the pillow and saw Dodson, old and drained of life, still sleeping. Guilt hit her like a freight train and she turned away, sweeping the covers back and shakily sitting up, searching for the kindly doctor. She frowned and smiled at the Nurse on duty, whose returned smile didn't exactly fill her with warmth. Must have been on the night shift.

Chase waited for the Nurse to busy herself somewhere else before letting her feet slip to the floor. She had hated hospitals all her life, and any medical facility gave her the unwelcome belly rumblings of a nine year old. She walked from the infirmary.

Chase took another shower before going in search of breakfast, food wasn't a primary concern right now but she knew that if she didn't have something she would feel worse. With a pang, she realised it must have been lunch time – the hall was busy with people eating big meals and chattering furiously. She hated sleeping late, and worse, the noise of the many people hurt her head. She touched the gash on her cheek and felt the swollen area. When the drugs wore off, she would be unpleasant to be around, she knew that.

Without another thought, she crossed the space toward the buffet table, the big glass front teasing her with the possibilities encased inside. She heard the chatter buzzing around her, the texture and the pitch, she heard it change slightly, and caught the eye of a pair of scientists staring at her and quickly turning away. Chase frowned and felt her stomach clench. She must look like death walking with all these injuries. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

She brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face and took a tray, joining the line. Doctor Nugent stood in front of her, a tall, gangly man with large glasses and thick messy black hair. He looked back absentmindedly and paused before coughing loudly and turning away, eyes darting across the room in a panic.

Chase narrowed her eyes. Okay, now I'm a little miffed. I can't be so bad that a 'good morning!' is out of order. She new Nugent to be a nice guy, hard working, and now he was using his height to his advantage by keeping his back turned to her. She clenched her teeth and forced a smile. 'Morning, Paul.' She managed, nicely.

He gave her a half smile but didn't look at her. 'Hey.'

Chase rolled her eyes. 'How are things?' She encouraged. 'I hear the improvements on the shield modulator have stalled.'

'Well actually –' He turned, ready to fly into science mode, when he stopped and hunched. 'They're fine.' He said simply, then dawdled back into his previous stance.

Chase gave up and let him move on. Chef looked up at her, waiting. She smiled weakly before noticing his expression – blank, staring. Chase felt her hackles rise slightly. 'What?'

Chef shrugged. 'Lasagne's on special.'

'One big helping then.' She smiled sweetly, biting back the sour tone.

She took her tray to a free table in the corner. She hadn't fancied the meal at all, and now the very smell made her feel sick. The reminder of the previous day and the pain she had felt caused her to push the tray back without even realising it. Her green eyes closed for a moment, shutting out the memory.

She felt the world move around her against the dark of her closed eyes, the sounds, the smells - she felt separated from it. She felt the vibration through the table and opened her eyes in surprise. Carson stared down at her – livid. Or as close to livid as Carson Beckett could get.

'What do you think you're doing out of bed, young lady?' He asked tightly, his Scottish lilt cutting through the air like ice.

She raised an unsure hand and pointed lamely at the tray. 'Lasagne?' Carson folded his arms, unimpressed. 'Look, no offence Carson, but I have a thing for infirmaries – and I'm fine! Hungry!' She pointed more emphatically at the tray. 'I know it won't be as good as your freshly caught fish, but I had to make do-' She smiled.

'You are my patient and a very badly injured one at that.' He said sharply, his palms on the table. There was no good humour in this man right now.

'I'll check back later.' She said shortly, not fully understanding his anger. Yes, she shouldn't be out of bed, but really it was a slap on the wrist from Carson – not this angry, scowling individual. 'I don't feel comfortable there.'

'Four 'o' clock sharp, Chase, and no later. Personal preferences can't get in the way of a person's health.' He said matter-of-factly, and walked away.

Chase caught a few onlookers staring a moment too long and frowned as they turned back to their table to talk. So she was a person now? And they were back to a last name basis? Chase shook her head. Something had gotten him riled up and she didn't like being on the receiving end. She looked up and noted that several people were looking at her again, talking low and swapping glances. Her stomach suddenly curled into a ball, coldness claiming her, her hands becoming clammy. Chase breathed heavily for a moment and then looked down at the tray. They knew. That had to be it.

Dodson was in the infirmary for a reason and she was it. When Carson informed Elizabeth of her injuries she must have told Carson of the report she received from the team – from John – of the events which took place leading to Dodson being in such bad shape. Chase felt small, infinitesimal. She breathed slow and deep for a moment to calm herself. She knew that people would blame her, but if this was the reason that they were all being so… she would have to swallow it. She didn't have a choice but to go back and get the pad – was she supposed to give the Wraith a helping hand by leaving it there?

A tray hit the table in front of her and she jumped slightly. Major Lorne slipped into the chair opposite and picked up his fork, tucking into his food.

'Hey.' He said lightly.

'Hey.' She echoed, surprised, her eyes wide and unsure. She shook her head. 'What?' Does he know?

'What what?' He asked, eyebrows raised.

He doesn't know. Chase sighed. 'Nothing, I'm sure you'll hear it all soon enough.'

'Well maybe you should tell me so that I don't assume that rumour is correct.' He said simply. His blue eyes locked with hers.

Chase paused. 'So you know.' She folded her arms and looked away from him.

'What happened on the mission? Most of it.' He continued eating. 'And some of it was pieced together from people around Weir's office who over heard them shouting.'

Chase felt the colour drain from her cheeks entirely. 'Shouting.' She echoed, the breath she had left stolen by an emptiness.

'Yeah, but I'll bet they didn't get all of it, and what they did get was jumbled.' Lorne informed her, finally putting down his fork.

'Who was-?'

'McKay, apparently yelling his head off over the Wraith being there and needing to go back to finish the work.' Lorne shook his head in clear disagreement. 'And Colonel Sheppard, insisting that that mentality got one of his people hurt.' Lorne watched her carefully.

Chase felt stunned. This whole thing was surreal. 'I went to make coffee for McKay to stop him complaining.' She said, feeling ill. 'And the Wraith came – it happened so fast that I forgot my pad and by the time I remembered I just-'

Her voice dropped. 'I shouldn't have gone back for it.'

'Why did you?' Lorne asked, keeping his voice level.

Chase felt a pang in her side, the blood rushing through her beginning to hurt her head.

'Our research, breaking the code into the ancient facility – it was, well it was enough to help them figure out how to get into the facility. I couldn't let them get their hands on it.'

'Let's look at it this way. You did your job by going back for that pad; Dodson did his job by coming after you. The Wraith in its nature attacked the both of you. No one is to blame.' He said softly. Lorne's blue eyes implored her to be okay. 'Well, except the Wraith.'

She tried a smile but found that it killed her cheek. 'I guess.' She wasn't convinced. 'Is all this why Carson was so angry with me?'

Lorne shrugged. 'He doesn't like his patients being so far from his care, plus it's not like he can reason with your stubbornness.'

'That wasn't worry he was yelling at me Evan, that was anger.' Chris informed him. Lorne caught her expression.

'He was in the office earlier too, so he heard first hand what happened. But I think it was more Rodney being an ass than anything else.' Lorne told her. 'He doesn't hold grudges; he's not that type of guy.' He added quickly.

'Yeah, what about everyone else?' She glanced at the other tables, the shifting eyes and low whispers.

Lorne smiled at her. 'What are you going to do? Stay in your room till this all blows over?'

'Does it have cable?' She said half seriously, not truly paying attention to him.

'Does it have cable now? That would be one hell of a reception.' He said light heartedly.

This time she did smile, baring the pain for a moment's relief.

'I made a mistake.' She stated. 'I guess I'll be taking my lumps for a while.'

'Just don't let McKay abuse your lump taking, or he'll give you boulders.' Lorne advised. 'He's the boss man for Science, and he was in charge of all equipment-'

'Which he dutifully had Radek check over so he could get a sandwich.' Chase added.

'Exactly.' He said seriously. 'He's gonna be pissed. He is your superior and he should have done his job and looked out for you. Sheppard'll be putting him under pressure for it; Rodney'll be putting pressure on you.'

'I can handle McKay.' She stated sternly.

'I know. We all know what it's like when he's pissy, and it's never nice.' Lorne's blue eyes fell back to his food and didn't notice the lingering look she gave him. Deep in thought, Chase knew the next couple weeks would be very, very long.

*

She had returned to the infirmary after lunch having only eaten a few mouthfuls, but feeling better after having Lorne prepare her with a steely resolve. She told Carson that she had changed her mind and wanted to stay that night in the infirmary, feeling her headache return and the general nausea that came with it. He grumpily agreed that it was the best thing and he was glad she had changed her mind. She said nothing of their exchange earlier that day boiling down his attitude to McKay-exposure and slept on till morning.

She was dressing for work when a knock sounded on her door.

'Just a minute.' Chase called, tying the clasp of her necklace before waving her hand over the controls. Doctor Weir smiled at her before giving her a look of unknowing.

'Carson wasn't sure you'd be resting. I didn't want to bother you, but clearly you have other plans.'

'Come in, Doctor Weir.' Christina said politely, returning the smile, trying to ignore the painful thumping of her heart against her chest. 'I'm afraid paperwork doesn't stop for any injury, sadly.' She said, crossing to the dresser for perfume.

'Isn't that the truth.' Weir agreed, noting the immaculate state of Chase's room and the homey femininity of its style. 'How are you feeling?'

'Fine.' Chase stated. And then paused, feeling the green eyes of her commander burning into the back of her head. She turned with a humbled expression. 'Crap, but getting on with it.'

Weir nodded her head. It was a respectable answer, one she liked.

'I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you yesterday, I dropped in toward the evening but you were sleeping.' She said lightly.

'That's was nice of you, but I didn't think anything of it. You're a busy person, Doctor Weir.'

'I try to be.' She replied. 'Are you sure you're up to work right now, I'd understand if you needed a few days to recuperate?'

'Thanks, but, I've never been good at sitting around. Carson has me on some strong painkillers and I'm checking in with him every so often. It looks a lot worse than it is.' She insisted with a tired smile.

Elizabeth nodded with a look in her eyes that said she wasn't telling all. 'Carson tells me you have a concussion and a broken rib, so the outside may look fine, but the inside-'

'Throbs like a super bitch, but like I said, I'm no good sitting around. I'm better off doing something.' Chase said sternly. She appreciated the house call but didn't need the den mother act.

'I see.' Elizabeth paused before stepping forward. 'We need to talk about what happened when you're feeling better.'

Ah, finally, the real reason she was here. Christina breathed deep, knowing that if she hadn't been on such good painkillers her side would feel stabbed by a knife right now. Elizabeth gave her a measured look and Christina did the same.

'I am feeling able to reiterate the events of the mission at your earliest convenience.' Chase said steadily, and turned back to the dresser, fixing her earrings.

'Okay.' Elizabeth said slowly, eyebrows raised. She paused for an awkward moment. 'I feel that I should tell you that this is not a meeting to place blame, or to ascertain who should be blamed, but to simply understand the full events of the situation.' She waited for a response, and when one didn't come she continued. 'I've asked Doctor Heightmeyer to be aware of the situation in the event that you would like to talk to her.'

Christina paused. 'Thank you, but that's not necessary. I haven't been psychologically affected and I personally hate to talk about feelings of any kind to anyone.' Christina folded her arms. 'In all honesty, psychiatrists freak me out.'

'I see.' Elizabeth said carefully. 'Think about it. You may realise that the experience of all of this is a little too much to deal with alone – and you may also realise that hiding it makes it worse. I'm talking from personal experience.'

Christina nodded. 'I'll take that under consideration, thank you.' She appreciated what Weir was doing but resented it also, just hoping that this was her cue to leave.

'Good. I hope you do.' Elizabeth said softly. 'If you'd come to my office after dinner this evening, we can talk about what happened then.'

Chase nodded and smiled, but knew that it revealed more her troubles than her happiness. Elizabeth nodded back and left. Chase sighed, leaning against her dresser.

'Today's gonna be a bitch.' She said under her breath. She put on her best stilettos hoping they would give her the lift to get through the day. Wearing a black suit and charcoal silk buttoned shirt, she headed from her room to the office where Rodney would be waiting. It's not that she hated the uniform, but she worked better in clothes that were just more her.

The day had been long, and she was still recovering from her injuries which didn't help. To describe the day as normal would be an understatement, there was a quiet awkwardness whenever she was in the room, the work would continue but if there was any smiles and joyful banter, it was forced. Maybe it was her, maybe she was acting differently and they were responding in kind. Honestly, she wasn't in the mood to care all that much. She would try and fix things tomorrow, or the day after, when she felt better and more physically able to smile and look people in the eye without feeling the sharp pang of guilt.

What had been more unusual than anything was Rodney's behaviour; he hadn't been his motor-mouth, bossy self. In fact he had said very little to her all day, and the words that were spoken were level, his eyes uncertain. Chase wandered from the room and skipped dinner for the nauseas feeling in her gut. She began thinking, exhausted, of her friends and the people she worked with. She had never wanted to disappoint them, and now all she could see were the diverted glances and the unheard concealed conversations when they turned away from her. She had purposefully avoided John if she saw him coming, and Carson. Teyla and Ronon were nowhere to be seen and she hoped it would stay that way. She made a beeline through the control room to Weir's office.

Elizabeth was sitting at her desk, reading her laptop with intense interest. Chase paused, took a moment to breathe through her misery and tiredness, and then knocked on the door. 'Let's get this over with.' She whispered.

*

Christina awoke the next morning with no intention of being smiley and normal. She had a headache and could feel the foul mood she was in affecting her already as she moved around her room getting ready. What made her feel even worse was the fact that the Daedalus was due in an hour – new recruits and old friends, all of them learning about the recent events. She would go, appear for the sake of looking like she was trying to be welcoming, possibly even help with the heaving of boxes. Maybe the physical labour would take the edge off. However, she still adorned her stilettos with fierce intention of looking good to rival her feeling crappy.

She stormed down the corridor, her heels chomping at the ground, the sound bouncing off the walls as a warning to on comers. She had never felt so vile. She hated that it was her fault, she hated that everyone looked at her, spoke of her. It was childish. Unprofessional.

She rounded the next corridor and saw the tall frame with the messy hair, his back facing her as he read something in his hand. She couldn't be bothered to avoid him. Sheppard could bear the brunt of her displeasure by watching her ass as she stomped by and ignored him.

Sheppard heard the heels and turned, not only noting the fabulous formal black dress with a buttoned front that hugged her curvy figure, but the ice in her eyes which were determined not to look at him. He raised his eyebrows as she blew past, catching a whiff of her sensual perfume. He shook his head and jogged to catch up.

'Hey! How you feeling? I stopped into the infirmary when you were sleeping. Doc said your injuries were pretty bad.' He asked, nicely - normally.

'And yet I appear to be walking.' She said sternly, hating that her knee was twinging in pain. Painkillers her butt, Carson had given her tic tacs more like.

'Yes, you do.' John replied, feeling the irritation swell in his chest. She didn't slow her pace or look at him. 'Maybe you should take it easy for a couple days, until you're sure you're up for-'

'I don't need to take it easy.' She snapped.

'Okay. Then how about you back up off the accelerator and tell me why you're biting my head off?' He asked, his brown eyes sharp and alert.

'I'm late and you'd know if I were biting you're head off, Sheppard.'

It was the harsh 'Sheppard' that made him grab her arm and pull her to the side. She pulled away from him and glared, her green eyes burning with anger.

'What's the problem here, Christina, because there's no way you're welcoming newbies from the Deadalus whilst you're breathing fire.' He said angrily, keeping his voice low as a couple of scientists passed them by, exchanging glances.

She'd had no intention of entering a conversation with him, but she hated that he was angry with her.

'There are rumours going round from a shouting match over heard in Weir's office that you think I'm the reason Dodson got hurt – for the blind pull of science.' She said coldly. John took a moment, surprised by the hostility in her voice and expression – more so that it was directed at him, but did not alter his face to match such surprise. He narrowed his eyes.

'Lorne has a big mouth.' He said testily, glancing in irritation at people walking by, watching.

'Major Lorne has a perfectly wonderful mouth; it's the gossipers in the city who have mouths the size of the Grand Canyon.' She said carefully. 'He told me nothing that wasn't already floating around, and he did it to prepare me because it didn't look like anyone else was going to say anything, at least nothing honest. Here I am a couple days later and I'm still in the dark.'

Sheppard ground his bottom teeth together, leaving the description of Lorne's mouth as 'wonderful' well alone as the jealous snake hissed in his belly. 'Maybe people wanted to give you space.'

'Or maybe they're afraid of getting my disease.' She said sharply. 'One that I didn't know I had until I realised that I was not only being avoided but talked about.'

'Why are you talking to me about this?' He said quietly, angry.

'Well who am I supposed to talk to, John?' She said almost pleadingly. 'It's not like I can pick a randomer palaeo-botanist and say "So, what's going on with everyone being so cruel and ridiculous? Has everyone suddenly gained the inability to speak the human language, or just the inability to speak to me?" You included, you cannot deny you've been avoiding me.'

John planted his hands on his hips before taking her arm and pulling her into one of the nearby empty offices. 'The avoidance thing works both ways. And keep it down, it's not like they need anything else to talk about.'

Chase shrugged him off. 'No, I guess not, not with you providing all the ammo, I'm sure they're already full of wonderfully sick and vile things to say-'

'Okay, that's enough.' He snapped under his breath. His soft brown eyes suddenly freezing over. 'I'm sorry you're feeling guilty and that it's tearing you apart but you should feel guilty – it was a stupid mistake.' He said harshly. 'But it was a mistake that you had to rectify, and you did, and whilst the outcome wasn't desirable, you did the right thing by going back.'

'It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten it in the first place.' She said miserably, mentally scolding herself all over again.

'Well, yeah…' He said lamely, softening slightly.

'Why didn't you just talk to me? Instead of secluding me into my own lonely little prison of self pity?' Christina asked. Sheppard raised an eyebrow. 'So I'm the depressive chick right now, can you blame me?'

He smiled slightly and then shifted his weight, his charming height and presence warming her again. 'I didn't come to you because I didn't know how you'd react to me being all cry-on-my-shouldery. Plus, the avoiding thing has been going on long before the whole Wraith incident and due to more…personal thingies.'

Christina gave a half smile, watching him squirm. 'Personal thingies?'

'Yeah.' They both smiled knowingly.

She shook her head slightly. 'It's just been driving me crazy thinking that people have been walking around blaming me without anyone actually saying it to my face.'

'It'll pass.' He said certainly. 'Give them time to remember where we are and what we face and they'll know that you had no choice – and that it wasn't your fault.' He said kindly, and then floated closer, lowering his voice. 'Plus people can't resist that seductive smile and oozing charm of yours for too long.'

It was that same lop-sided, boyish grin that sent her wild. She laughed. 'My oozing charm? So what's this you're doing now if not oozing charm all over me?'

'I'm just having a conversation.' He smiled.

'It's quite the conversation.' She said softly. He watched her for a long moment before shaking his head.

'The yelling thing in Weirs office…Rodney was being, y'know, Rodney, and what I said was supposed to shut him up, that's all.' Sheppard told her awkwardly.

'That's not all. You were right. Maybe you said it to end an argument but it didn't make it any less true.' Chase said surely.

Sheppard watched the green blazing in her eyes and knew how bad she felt.

'I made a mistake by putting the pad down – I was going to make a coffee for Rodney for god's sake! There was no way we could have known the Wraith would show up but, yes, I did forget the one thing that I shouldn't have. If the Wraith had gotten their hands on that information then…I don't know, but not good things would have happened.' She paused and folded her arms, looking to the ground. 'I am sorry Dodson got hurt, believe me, I would never have…' She shook her head but was unable to finish. Sheppard watched her and shifted his stance.

'We couldn't have predicted what would happen.' He said softly.

'Doesn't matter.' Her head flew up, her eyes locking with his, her jaw flexing. 'It happened. My going back got a member of the expedition life-sucked by a Wraith, and that is all there is to it. There is only the end result here, not the circumstances surrounding it.' She glanced around. 'It's what everyone is thinking, and worse – it's what they're all saying. Giving them time and oodles of oozing charm can hide the truth but not erase it.'

John paused. He didn't know what to say to that, any of it, actually. It was all true, and comforting her was obviously insulting her dignity. She was going to beat herself up over this and there was no changing that. 'You didn't exactly tell the Wraith to feed on him Christina, it wasn't your fault, no matter what you believe or what they believe.' He said, a finality to his tone.

His brown eyes studied her, knowing that even though she listened, she didn't comprehend. He clamped his mouth shut and walked past her. 'And I thought you were smarter than to let gossip and finger pointing get to you – not to mention stronger.'

'You always were good at that whole complimenting and insulting someone at the same time thing.' She said irritably.

He faced her. 'I practice.' He stated with a grin. 'Mostly to get Rodney moving in times of crisis. Stroke his ego to make him happy whilst taking the mickey out of him to make everyone else happy.'

'Smart.' She smiled lazily.

'I'm good at math too.' He added jokingly.

'Oh, I know.' She said simply. Sheppard frowned and then smiled at her.

'Shall we?' He offered an arm out of the office and she took it with a grin, feeling the anger and pain ease away with his touch. They were linked all the way to the pier, talking about many random things which didn't matter in the slightest. As he spoke to her, she could see the looks they would get from others. Their uncertainty clear in their expression, some appearing more at ease because Sheppard seemed to be treating her normally. A positive energy swept over her, more of an understanding.

They arrived at the group of people waiting to see the Deadalus land and their arms automatically unlinked, but the smiles remained just as vibrant. Teyla, Ronon and Carson watched them arrive. Teyla smiled and greeted them, Ronon nodded with his usual silence. Carson seemed preoccupied. Lorne and Radek appeared over their shoulder, the Major whispering in her ear.

'You okay?'

Christina smiled. 'Yeah.' She nodded, feeling better. Radek smiled, his frame visually relaxing.

'Right, people, you know the drill.' A loud voice sounded from behind them all. 'Try not to bombard the newbies, let them flood out in their own time and do not enter the ship until we have permission from Colonel Caldwell to start moving the supplies. Department leaders will be at the ready to collect their…herd once they have been grouped for the induction. Any questions?' Rodney planted his hands on his hips, nose high in the air. Chase couldn't resist.

'Herd?' She questioned. And on que, Lorne gave a loud 'moo'. There was an appreciative chuckle from the crowd and Rodney scowled.

'Oh, ha-de-ha, how we laughed. You know exactly what I mean.' He stalked through the crowd, glancing at Chase as he passed her. 'I see someone is feeling better.' His voice dripped venom and the smile fell instantly from her face.

Lorne ground his teeth, his blue eyes flashing dangerously. 'Don't worry about him; he's just mad that his mother regrets giving birth to him.'

Chase forced a smile, watching Rodney move to the front. Amazing how a few words from that man could bring her right back down to feeling like scum. She felt a growly sensation in her stomach and without thinking, folded her arms and stuck out her hip. Attitude came easily to her.

The Daedalus descended from the sky in its large impressive form, the thunderous noise of its engines as they powered down. Chase watched, always in awe of this ship, the thing that brought her from one galaxy to this one, to these people. It was an impressive shape, but she always thought the cold-looking metal from which it was made meant that it should be another clunky human invention, a flying metal brick to all intents and purposes, and yet it was capable of so much. The giant ship touched down on the pier just as Doctor Weir waded through the crowd, John following suit.

Chase hung back with a few others, watching the crew wander down the ramp of the ship, some shaking hands, giving hugs, others straight to business. Steel boxes were brought out to one side and then some people looked up at the city, as she had once done, in wonderment. This is where they would be living for the next few months. Dr Weir gave the usual speech of 'welcome and enjoy' before separating the people into their respective groups. Christina wandered over to the new scientists.

All these new people, with no idea what was waiting for them. She caught a few people looking at her, she felt slightly embarrassed because she knew she was one of the few out of uniform and what she wore, whilst not outrageous, certainly called attention to her body. They would understand better once they got to know her. The stilettos slapped onto the ground in a steady rhythm as she came to a halt just over Rodney's shoulder, Radek on the other side.

'We'll get the induction over with after lunch, before that, you'll be shown to your quarters…' Rodney hesitated as a few eyes were drawn elsewhere, whispers flying on the wind.

A new scientist, tall and with a kindly face, leant over to a smaller man next to him. 'Is this place some sort of modelling agency?'

'Are you complaining?' The guy replied. 'I think it's wrong to hire women for nothing more than their beauty, but still, the more the merrier.' He said with a large grin.

Rodney dropped his shoulders and turned to face Chase. 'You couldn't have worn something ugly, could you? Or even standard.' He snapped. He turned back to his audience. 'Don't be distracted, a siren by any other name is still a…well, siren. Okay, follow me.'

Chase ignored him, and the looks from the group as they passed by. It was when she caught Lorne and Sheppard looking strange that she took notice. In fact a few people were stealing glances. She looked back at Sheppard whose eyebrows were raised, the corners of his mouth at an angle in extreme interest as he spoke to Lorne whose face was also exuding interest. Those beautiful brown eyes of his that mesmerised her were glued on one spot. She followed his gaze and couldn't see past the steel boxes piled next to the ship. Christina dodged a few people as she moved to the left, trying to see what was drawing so much attention.

The first view she was met with was a butt in black trousers hanging in the air. Chase did a double take, how old were these men – fifteen? She laughed at the raging hormones on parade, a laugh which stopped as abruptly as it started when the butt stood up. Long legs supported a slim figure in a tight blue v-neck shirt, she was slim with long dark hair which she flipped dutifully as she stood. She turned with something in her hands that she had dropped, but all Chase saw was the mouth full of smiling white teeth, the cute button nose and the large grey eyes, accentuated by high cheek bones. No wonder that scientist guy had been confused; he was seeing beautiful women left, right and centre.

Christina felt the bottom of her stomach drop to the floor and immediately felt shame. So the woman was pretty – okay stunning, in a kind of timeless beauty way – it didn't mean anything. There was no need for worry or jealousy…or anger, she thought, as John sauntered over with his arms at his side, the trademark sweatband round his wrist as he extended his hand. The black-haired woman smiled widely as they had a conversation she couldn't hear.

Okay, jealousy, worry, anger, all of it hitting her like a freight train. She heard the woman laugh and John cock his head in a lazy smile. She swore, in that moment, that if she could – that girls head would be on fire right now. She suddenly shook off the dark feeling, scolding herself. She was an adult; this wasn't how she was supposed to conduct herself. She was supposed-

'Hey.'

Chase turned to see Lorne's blue eyes studying her, and she was well aware that she had been caught like a rabbit in the headlights of a Humvee. 'Hey.' She said, flustered.

'You okay?'

'Yeah, good. Great, even.' She smiled widely, looking at anywhere but where she had been looking. Lorne gave a quirky smile, unsure of what was happening.

'Okay…' He paused, and then looked over to see the conversation between the woman and Sheppard, cottoning on to Chase's weirdness. 'You met her, yet?'

'Who?' Chase said, feigning confusion.

'Oh come on.' Lorne nudged her. 'She's new. She could be Satan's evil twin sister for all we know.'

Chase narrowed her eyes. 'How can Satan have an evil twin sister when he is the source of all evil – supposedly?' She asked, her scientists mind interrupting her at the last moment.

'So she's the eviller twin sister, she's full of extra wroth and torment.' Lorne insisted, looking for a smile on her face. He got a smirk.

'Except we don't know if she's Satan's eviller twin sister full of extra wroth and torment.' Chase smiled miserably. 'I don't even, it's not – it's nothing worth talking about.'

'Yeah it is.' He contradicted. 'She's new, she's kinda hot, you're not exactly having an easy time right now and she's…' He paused. Chase watched him waiting for the rest. '…she's moving in on your territory.'

Chase made a sound between a laugh and a snort, shaking her head. 'My territory? Pah! He's not my territory – that's so…stupid! Territory…plus, she's just arrived, she's not going to-'

At that moment, the woman slapped Sheppard's arm playfully and laughed, stepping closer to him. Chase exchanged a glance with Lorne and ground her teeth. She growled under her breath and turned her back on the situation, looking Lorne hard in the face.

'He is not my territory, and whilst the last couple of days have been crappy, she will in no way make things any worse because this whole thing is a non issue.' She insisted, green eyes active with determination. 'Hear me, a non issue.' She narrowed her eyes and leant forward. 'Non issue.'

'What's a non issue?'

Chase felt her heart jump violently as she spun to face Sheppard, his smiling face and fascinating brown eyes looking down at her, the newcomer at his side.