WARNING:: Here are some details in different to the first chapter.

The street was empty. That was good. I probably shouldn't have gone out at all, considering the way I looked at the moment. Phil had just banged me up. I don't know why, but I didn't stop him. After this day, it felt good.

Why was I still alive? Should I maybe just end my life? My mum probably wouldn't even notice. Maybe Charlie actually would. It would hurt him. He was the only one who actually cared for me. He hadn't changed a bit since I left, in difference to all the other people I thought I loved. Maybe I did love mum, just not like before. She was my mum. I can't change that.

I could move out.
But where to? No idea. I had no specific money I could use on it either. I've never had much money. But I could ask Charlie. But he would ask for a reason. If I told him, he would make a big number out of it. I didn't want that. The last thing I needed was attention. Attention is never good, especially in my case. I was meant to screw up, or fall on my ass.

It's sad. Sad how people you know, is now people you used to know, and people that you walk right past, used to be part of your life. How you used to talk to them for hours, and now you can hardly even look at them. I was referring to Jacob mostly now.

I entered the house and ran into my room before Phil could say or do anything to me. Turning on my pc, I started thinking back to my moving plans. I could look for somewhere far away from here. Some place I couldn't come home visit so often from. When my pc finally was on, I searched around, finding nothing. Why was this all so hard to find?

Europe! That wasn't so expensive study place! I took up a map on Google, looking around all over Europe. I could move north, around Sweden or Norway, west to England, or south to Italy maybe. But I want someplace far from reach. Italy was simple to get to, England even worst! I've never actually heard about Norway or Sweden though...

Searching some more, I noticed how studying in Norway was free. School and education, unless you searched for big stuff, you got it for free. A rule. School is free. How nice. That would save me so much money! This was really useful. I looked all over for school; places I would never even imagine existed! Norway had awesome nature and stuff like that. It could seem interesting, now the hard part was just getting away from my life here in the America.

My mum would say I couldn't go, but she wouldn't mean it. But Charlie might help on my side when it comes to studying. It was worth a shot. I decided a nice school, and sent a mail with all my information etc. It was named Dahlske Videregående skole (Dahlske University School)

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"Honey! Dinner is served!" I heard my mum yell through my loud music. "Coming!" I turned off the music, and went to the kitchen where they were waiting.

"So, how was your day, sweetie?" Renee asked me. The way I looked, she really shouldn't ask at all. I just looked at her, then continued looking at the disgusting dinner that we had. I wasn't really shore what it was, but it didn't look eatable. "Hey kid! Your mum asked you a question!" Phil smacked my head, and I quickly came back to reality. "It was okay," I just said. My mum smiled at me. She's just a piece of shit. "Mum, you know how I've talked about going outer country studying?" I continued playing with the disgusting stuff on my plate, not feeling hungry. "Yes, honey," She didn't seem real pleased with me going to some country far away, and that was good. "I sent my applications to one school." I looked up to see her mocked expression. "In Norway," I finished, biting back a laugh. "That is not going to happen! No way, you are not going to Europe!" Phil pointed his fork at me."Fuck you! That is not up to you, fucking child abuser!" I screamed before I even got the chance to think. And before I knew it, Phil was up on his legs, holding me after my hair. His fist came to fast to react against my cheekbone, and it was a loud crack. Pain filled my mouth, and I felt the taste of blood in my mouth. Then he punched my nose, and the blood flew. My mum just sat there, looking down in her food, while he continued.

I don't remember how long it continued, but finally he stopped. He let me down to the floor again, and threw the hand of hair right on the floor. I could feel the numbness in my face. "Fuck you mum! Aren't you supposed to say something!? You let him beat your kid, without saying one damn thing!?" I screamed, spitting some extra blood on purpose. "Apologize, young lady!" Phil smacked my head again. "Burn in hell!" I ran the fastest I could into my room, and locked the door. That was it. I'm glad I made the decision to leave home. So until I got a letter saying if I was accepted or not, I just had to stay in my room. I couldn't leave it.

But I had to, but lucky for me; my room had the only door to my bathroom. I went in there, cleaning the wounds I got, and took a long shower. After that I took the shaving blade from on top of the sink, and sunk down on the floor. I looked at my upper arm. It was soon no more places to cut, but I found some places. Today must have been three times he hurted me. I cut one deep cut, and the pain flew through me for the fourth time today. I held in a scream, feeling the tears slide down my ruined cheeks. The blood swimming on the floor. It was more than usual, but it felt good.

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A/N

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