A Name as Cool as Akatsuki

A Name as Cool as Akatsuki

Disclaimer: zomg I like totally DON'T own Naruto. –peace sign- Oh, and I also don't own Looney Tunes. Though I dearly love them!

-huggles the Martian plushie-

The much awaited –sarcasm intended- long over-due –no sarcasm intended- chapter two! –hey that rhymed-

Du dut du! Sasori and Deidara! –does happy dance-

By the way, for those amongst you who watch the anime, danna is master. Unless you want it to mean husband…then it means husband!

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"Sasori no danna, will you help me make art?" Deidara asked his partner.

Said partner ignored him. "Damn, my nail polish is chipping. I keep telling Kakuzu to not buy the lousy stuff from the dollar store, but does the cheap bastard ever listen? No, no one listens to me."

"Sasori no danna," Deidara whined, "Please help, h'mm! At least lend me one of your puppets, un!"

Sasori grabbed a nail polish bottle, waving for the blond to go ahead. Deidara squealed. "Thank you danna, un!"

-several minutes and a small nail polish incident later-

"But where's the kaboom?" Deidara asked the Kazekage puppet, "There's supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom! Un!"

"Oh," he said, spotting something in the perfection that was his art, then grabbed the puppet and tweaked a few things. "H'mm, yeah, art's a bang!" he cooed happily as he worked.

KA-BOOOOM!

Sasori watched idly as his puppet's head went sailing into the river they were camping next to.

"Um…Sasori no danna?"

"Yes, Deidara?"

"I think I killed your art with my art…un."
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"Fleeting, un!"

"Eternal, you dung for brains twit!"

"Art is eternal when Sasuke kills Itachi, un!" Deidara spat.

"Art is fleeting when Itachi has brotherly feelings for Sasuke!" Sasori snorted.

"Art is fleeting, danna! Why can't you get that into your thick wooden head!?" Deidara yelled, making the grave mistake of knocking on said head.

Sasori's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Little brat, you. Are. Dead."

Deidara backed away quickly, hands automatically reaching for his bag of clay, only to remember that it was hanging on the tree…behind his murderous partner.

"Uh, danna, let's talk about this…have I told you how much I love your hair? Its so…pretty!"

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Yaoii time, yeah! Yeah, yaoii time! –does happy dance-
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"Deidara!" Sasori shouted, hauling up his dozing partner up by the collar, "Where is Zanzo?" he demanded, referring to one of his best puppets.

"Um," Deidara began with a winning smile, "I was making art, un, and well sometimes art…yeah."

Sasori narrowed his eyes. "You blew him up, didn't you, you little rat?"

"Un!" the little rat squeaked.

"You little shit, do you try to piss me off or does it come naturally?"

"I'm sorry, danna," Deidara purred, pressing himself up against the irate puppet man, "I so sorry, lemme make it up to you, un!"

"No," Sasori moaned as a hand slithered into his pants, "Absolutely not…"
"C'mon danna, you know you like it," the blond pouted, licking his lips.

Sasori wrenched away as the mouth on Deidara's hand began its administrations to his prostrate. "Dammit Deidara, I despise you with every inch of my body," he exhaled sharply as an intrusive finger teased his hole.

"I love you danna, but you're a liar, because your body says otherwise, un."

No use trying to fight a horny artist, Sasori's mind whispered to him, and shut down. He writhed out of Deidara's grip, choosing to disrobe him. Deidara gasped as the ex-sand ninja shoved him roughly against a wall, penetrating him quickly, searing his flesh with an exquisite sort of pain. He moved back and thrust again, slowly, agonizingly slow, until Deidara was begging for him.

"Say it."

"Unggh…danna…"

"Say it. You said you were going to make it up for me. So say it."

"Danna…I want you to fuck me. I….nngh! I want you!" he screamed, moving his body to match Sasori's powerful thrusts.

They tumbled to the floor in a sweaty tangle of limbs, and Konan walked in. She froze at the sight of the two men.

"Oh my," she smirked, "Yaoilicious."

Sasori growled ferally at her. "If I could kill you, you'd be dead."

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Okay, my lemons officially suck. Anyone have tips, I'd love to hear 'em. T.T