Selective
Summary: I always see that look in her eyes, it made me feel like I belonged here, but how come my chest hurts every time she smiles at someone else?
There was a blush on my face, one that I couldn't help but sustain as people began to fill in the room. It was because of the intoxicating scent of alcohol blended with delicious food. Even though the invitees were gathering in animal-like packs in different areas, it felt like their main source of life was in the living room. I was stuck to the couch, cushioned between my great aunt who wore her flamboyant red, faux coat and my gluttonous uncle with a turkey leg in his hand. My little cousins were crawling all over the place with race cars in their hands and zoomed around the grown-ups legs.
The cousins around my age were lounging around upstairs in the hall ways so they wouldn't be forced to mingle with the adults. Then the cousins who were married were in perfect sync with our aunts and uncles with cups of wine in their hands or plates splattered with food. My dad was playing an intense card game with a few of his brothers while my mom was gossiping with the female cast of our family. It feels like it was inhumanly impossible to get along with these people, but when I see my parents happy, that was enough for me.
"Oh Piko-chan, you're still so thin!" My grams yelled at me while pinching my cheeks with her sharp nails. She still had her youthful vigor and barely looked older than the age of fifty; though, I shouldn't be surprised, the appearance of my family makes it seem like we live in the fountain of youth. Her gray hair didn't olden her appearance, it made her look like some sort of snow angel with the puffy white coat she wore on her bony shoulders. "And yet you're so athletic!"
She kept on tossing me compliments that made me try my hardest not to scream for help so that my mom or dad would whisk her away. I shouldn't bother them. They look so happy anyway.
"Oh if only our little Pico was as slender and athletic as you, Piko-chan!" Grams informed with a wishy-washy tone and released my cheeks from her pincers.
"Ma! No need to make my boy look down at me!" Dad shouted from the den area where the card games were being played. I heard his brothers create a chorus of laughter before they talked about how dad was always the shrimp in the family and was never able to throw a ball properly. My dad wasn't the one who taught me how to play sports correctly; I was the one who taught him instead with my mom's help of course.
"Oh hush Pico!"
"Maaaaa!"
Then she walked into the den and I could hear a playful smack coming from the den area making everyone laugh at dad's mishap. I soothed my cheeks and dived out from the closed space between my great aunt and uncle. It was so suffocating being next to a woman who sprays excessive perfume and a man who had hands greased up way to thoroughly by the food. Also, the music was way too loud for my taste when it played these tracks of techno and nonstop pop music that made some of them begin to dance in a very…embarrassing fashion.
I took in a deep breath and released it; it would probably be a good time for one of those "hour walks" I like so much. When I thought about it, it's been about a week since my last one and all I've been doing was blankly look outside my room window while sitting on my old bed in my new room. One single topic with what seemed like a million related topics would hover in the center of my brain, engraving its existence in it. And that single topic would be the discovery of Hatsune Miku.
Just her name made me flash with utter embarrassment.
"Are you drunk or are you having one of those moments?"
"W-What?" I found myself stuttering and found Miki, well SF A2 Miki to be more accurate. How she got the whole "SF-A2" added to her name was beyond me, but her parents weren't really bothered by it when she started calling herself that. Wait, why'd she say I was drunk? And what does she mean by those moments? What did that mean? "W-Were you talking t-to me?"
One of the other traits that made me different from my parents was that I had the habit to stutter. To them they found it adorable and would try to help me break the habit. To everyone else, it was annoying and made sure that I wouldn't have to read aloud any long paragraphs or sentences or they'd make me get straight to the point when explaining how to solve an equation. My voice wasn't all to masculine either, so I was often teased and harassed by it that I become so soft spoken that my voice become like a whisper in the breeze. It was yet another pathetic thing about my entire being as a whole.
"You look like you're drunk with that goofy look on your face. Did Dell-nii trick you into drinking something from the bar area?" Miki interrogated while placing her hands on her hips after swatting away a bundle of her red hair. Her reddish eyes were fierce and they reminded me of how Hatsune-san stared at me during Christmas Eve. My heart did that usual skip down the block and I felt as if I was in heavenly bliss by just remembering her angelic charm.
Miki huffed and crossed her arms.
"You're so weird, Piko-kohai."
"K-K-Kohai? M-Miki, I'm you're a-age!"
It was true, even though she was born months earlier, it didn't mean that I was an underclassman compared to her. Besides, her grades were poorer than mine since all she does is sing and dance all day long, even when guests are over too. And she always wore these ridiculous dresses and insisted that she was going to make it big in the fashion industry and be the top model in her future clothing line. At first, I admired her ambitious nature, but lately, it seemed as though she was going over the top with her designs since it seemed like it was made for robots.
"You barely act like you're my age, so therefore, you're my kohai and I'm your senpai!"
She was also acted like the boss of me when we were little, so maybe that's what triggered my sheep like nature. She would smack me whenever I didn't do anything correct or when I tried to argue back and would drag me to places I didn't want to go because she didn't want to suffer alone. It was as if I was her minion from the very beginning and I didn't like that kind of thought process between us cousins.
"Stop acting like you're an adult, it's giving me a headache."
Dell walked into our little conversation as I bit on my lower lip to stop it from quivering. I was glad that Dell came in to straighten Miki out because I was already on the verge of tears when the conversation started. It was like she found a way to break me into a crying mess even today and must've enjoyed her little skill immensely. She should just stick with designing in her little studio that should've been the study room for her mom. I found her pretty unfair most of the time, and it's not biased either, she would always take charge with whatever was planned for the kids.
"It's not like you're such a good example of acting like an adult with your smoking your lungs to death!" Miki argued back with a passionate voice that it made the people around us stop and stare then go back to their own conversations. That's what I hated the most when talking to Miki and Dell. They always stir up trouble whenever they start talking about the whole maturity levels for children and adults. Miki would start throwing insults and badmouth his smoking habit while Dell would take all of it without complaint and slap her across the face when she finally got to the point of pissing him off.
These two truly frightened me.
Also, Dell had a tendency to start spewing a river of curses at Miki and then she'd start throwing the punches to force him to take back everything he said about her. Even though Miki is a usually cheerful, but bossy girl, she was considered nonviolent because she didn't want to damage her so-called perfection. Dell, on the other hand, didn't care about the gender or age of a person, as long as they were able, he'd beat the crap out of them. It didn't matter if they were close family or complete strangers; he'd deal with them either way.
Their violent tendencies would usually rouse a stormy relationship with one another and it was as though they should be kept at different parts of the world. I'm not exaggerating either.
So with them being distracted by one another, I began climbing up the stairs and passed by all of my other cousins who were laughing and chatting with one another. There were some who were leaning against the wall or rails with a cup of soda in their hands trying to look the part of being with the in crowd. When they saw me, they just gave me sneering glares, sending me signals that I shouldn't join them. It's not like I wanted to anyway, I was never allowed to join in their conversations when we were little to begin with. To them I was some kind of freak show that should never taint their glamorous life style.
I lowered my head and trudged past them while safely making it to my room and shutting the door behind me. Even with the music and adults' voices below so loud, I heard the teenage pack bursting out in laughter and my lips trembled uncontrollably as I slid down to the floor and began to sob. I pulled up my knees to my chest and muffled my cries so that I wouldn't be heard if they turned off the music to make some sort of announcement. After what seemed like an hour, I unraveled myself and crawled towards my bed to look out the window.
My hands flew to my precious guitar that was lying securely on my bed and my fingers were instantly flying on the strings. For some reason, they knew what I wanted to play and it was a Christmas song. When I looked out the window, it was fogged up because more snow began to fall and I opened it, unleashing a flurrying of snow right at me and in my room. I pulled my gray scarf tighter around my neck and stared out to the flashy scene in front of me. Christmas decorations were still up and created a city like view, one of those clichéd Paris scenes that you would see on balconies.
The glistening snow made by the streetlights only intensified that winter feel and it made my heart somersault in quiet bliss. No family or acquaintance was here to disturb me and I would relax since there was about an hour left till the ball drops and hurray a new year comes along. I didn't find anything about a new beginning all that special, I mean sure, it meant significance to other, but for me, it was a reminded of a wasted year. This year, I was able to leave the spotlight for only a few days since I was wearing such a goofy look on my face that made my parents leap with joy, but since the party started, that happy-go-lucky memory was thrown away.
I wish I could feel her touch again.
My face was flushed with a high temperature that when another bite of frost rushed in, it snapped me back to reality. I shouldn't feel this way about some girl I met, she's probably going to hate me too if she got to know me. My negative train of thought crashed into me once more and I sent a heavy sigh past my lips and into the air mixed with the heater's breath and the nature's frost bite. I lifted myself up from the bed and sat down on the window's ledge with my feet resting on the roof of the garage. While sitting there, I reached for my guitar, grabbed it by frets and brought it on my lap to start playing it against the howling winds.
All my worries were washing away when the strings fused their sounds together and created a perfect sound while my fingers plucked the strings with accuracy. If I wasn't able to take my hour walk, then I should have my dose of guitar playing at least, even if I was too embarrassed to let anyone but my parents hear me. Even if I was athletic, I never pursued being a runner or some sports player because my passion was for music. Music was the thing that grabbed my heart more than my parents' admirable skills and their grasp on how they want to live their life as free as possible.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the chain holding them back.
My hand fell from the mouth of the guitar and I lowered my head to rethink my sudden result. Why was I so wary on how my parents viewed me? Maybe it was because I view myself as a spoiled brat who can't even think of living up the expectations my parents would put out for me in an invisible bundle. It's like some sort of ladder that refuses to allow me to continue climbing it because it knows that I'll fall before I reach the top. It was a troublesome ladder, but it was always warning me that it was rickety and I shouldn't risk climbing somewhere that would be considered an alien place to me.
I listened to the ladder.
"You stopped?" A voice down below yelled at me, breaking me from my ladder trance and I looked down to find a girl waving at me. When I saw the color of her hair and that attractive grin on her adorable face, my heart was instantly pounding against the guitar like a drum set. H-How come she's here? How is she here out of all places before New Years? Shouldn't she be with her family?
"H-H-Ha—" I couldn't even say her last name without fidgeting hysterically.
"You forgot my name already? It's Miku! Hat-sune-Mi-ku!" She pronounced with her hands cupping her wide open mouth. My guitar almost slipped from my cold fingers, but my heart was trying to break itself free from my chest. Miku began laughing almost too uncontrollably and I was downright flushed with humiliation as to how she was acting. Was I some kind of entertainment to her? I thought she'd be someone who was willing to understand me.
I felt hurt.
"Piko-kun! Piko-kun!" Her melodious voice rang and I shot her a look of perplexity. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
I gave an inaudible gasp at the question that was followed with a stiff nod and I found her grinning face beaming me her graceful smile that would brighten anyone's dark day.
I opened the door after walking through the halls with a skip in my step which shocked my cousins so much that they only gawked at my being striding through. I didn't care what they thought this time; I was at the peak of happiness when the image of Hatsune-san smiling at me graced its presence in my head. She was like the sole spring breeze in the death of winter hurricanes and I can't even begin to describe the effect she imprisoned me with. I feel so pathetic for sounding like I'm already drowning in this sea of emotion called love; I can't be in love with Hatsune-san, because…
I opened the door and broke my lips into a welcoming smile.
Because…
She returned it with her brilliantly crafted ones that made my heart soar.
Because…
Then I took a step aside and welcomed her in after feverishly shutting the front door closed before allowing any excess frost waltz through. I offered to take her coat, but she swatted my hand away once more with a playful wink that made my heart double over. She giggled at my abashed expression and I lowered my head to conceal it from view. I could feel everyone's gaze wander over to us, but I could care less about their surprised stares at finally seeing a different side of me. It was their own fault for blindly capturing my glass like façade in their minds instead of digging deeper to find another part of me.
Because…
"Piko-kun, I was kidding!" Miku chimed wondrously and I turned my back towards her in a childish manner before chuckling to myself. She has such a great hold over me that she doesn't even realize it yet. "Oh Piko-kun! Don't be mad at me! I'm sorry!" She kept insisting as she ran over in front of me and knelt down a bit to look up at my face in clear view. Pools of red whirled around in my cheeks and I took a step back, bumping into someone and creating some sort of domino effect with a few other people.
I never knew what it was like to be in love…
Miku cried out in panic as I grabbed my balance and turned around to find my mom on the floor trying to clean up the mess of drinks I spilled. It looked like I slammed my back into my uncle's and then he accidentally pushed his wife and she tripped and hit Dell, who pushed her away and slapped a tray of snacks and cups in the process. I frantically apologized to everyone, bowing only to have Miku burst out in laughter at my apologetic ways. Everyone looked at her, as did I, and I couldn't help but begin to laugh quietly with her ecstatic one.
Soon after, more people joined and it was a house filled with it, but it faded away as my mom finished cleaning up the mess and putting away the tray. Even though the majority of invitees stopped their laughter, Miku was still stifling hers with her blue scarf and even had tears in her pretty eyes. Being able to watch her child-like innocence display itself so perfectly was as if I was watching a play. The spotlight danced around her so wonderfully that I couldn't help but be in awe and watched her little performance come to an end.
"Quickly everyone to the family room! It's almost time!" My dad ordered as he and his brother ran out of the den room and dived into the family room. I was letting myself be pulled with the crowd, but Miku managed to grab my hand and be pulled along with me and with a smile on her face. Her eyes glistening with excitement that the big ball in the city was going to drop and that it was ending the year.
When we were all standing or sitting around in the family room, staring at the wide screen TV set up for the occasion, everyone's eyes were glued to the countdown.
Twenty seconds left…
Unfortunately, Miku and I were further from the TV and behind a lot of people with a few people behind us. Everyone was struggling to see what was happening on the TV with their hearts racing with thrill at the ball dropping to the bottom. I was never too excited for it, so there wasn't much affect as to where I stood in this sea of people that flocked together. However, Miku's childish presence changed that and I felt her atmosphere try to modify mine. It was like her own little spell that she wove out of thin air, even though it seemed like she didn't notice that she was the one casting it.
Fifteen seconds left…
"Piko-kun, make sure to make a wish!" Hatsune-san suddenly piped up and I flicked my sight down to her even though her eyes were glued to the screen.
"Why?"
Ten…
"Because, at this time, you want to change yourself for the better."
Nine…
"I'll be making a wish too, so let's hold hands and it'll probably help strengthen our resolution!"
Eight…
She grasped my hand into hers and she shut her eyes, probably thinking about what she was going to wish for. This brought a smile on my face and I did the same.
Seven…
Everyone was holding their breaths with their eyes frozen by the suspense of the New Year.
Six…
The children began to chant the remaining numbers and I was still thinking of what to wish for.
Five…
The teenagers got caught up with the chanting and smoothly dropped their voices to carrying it on.
Four…
The grown-ups finally caught on to the thrill and joined in, creating a mixed chorus of different ages.
Three…
I tightened my grasp on Miku's hand and found that she allowed me to do so. I snuck a peak at her and found myself lowering my head to her level. Her eyes were still closed and she looked as if she was sleeping while standing up.
Two…
I made up my mind about what wish to make and this time it wasn't about how I want to change my life. This time, it would be about what I'm going to do to make sure that my life would truly mean something to me. It wouldn't be meaningless like all those years before!
One…
"I wish to be the only one by Miku's side!"
I kissed Miku on the cheek and stayed there while everyone was cheering and before I realized that her eyes were open, it was too late. She released my hand and pressed hers against my cheek while slowing and gently removing my lips from her cheek.
Zero!
My heart was in total paradise, but then I saw Miku's eyes giving me a sympathetic look. I thought I did something wrong while everyone was screaming their heads off; my voice was scolding me in the back of my mind. I'm such an idiot! We're like complete strangers to each other and when I finally went on impulse, it hurt someone else and would later affect me sometime soon.
"I-I…"
Instead of letting me finish, she shut me up by kissing me on the lips with her eyes closing slowly and her hands framing my face. I let this moment flood into my system and I closed my eyes while latching hands on her waist and pulling her closer so we wouldn't separate. When we were done, everyone was already walking around, chattering and taking pictures of the first minute of the fresh year. While they were passing by each other, I had my head turned away and lowered with my hand on my lips and a scarlet face hidden from sight.
Even though I didn't want to be disturbed from such a fantastic day dream, someone pulled my sweater and I turned to find a blushing Miku flashing me a smile.
"Happy New Year, Piko-kun."
Hatsune-san, you have no idea what affect you have on me.
"Y-Yeah…Happy New Year…M-Miku-chan…" I returned the beam back at her, making her blush even more and slap her hands on her cheeks. She looked so cute that I began to laugh while flying my hand through my hair and she found herself laughing as well. It felt like we were the only two in this house, no, it was more like we were the only two in this entire world. A new spotlight found itself landing on us with the area around it in total darkness.
I was in a new comfort zone with my old one far away and I was happy to find that I didn't need it all my life. I really want to say thank you to Miku… for what she's done in such a short time span, but I don't think she'll know what I'm talking about, so I'll just have to smile as though there was no tomorrow. When I think about it, whenever I think of Miku, it feels like there's always going to be a tomorrow waiting for me, because I always want to be in her presence.
Always.
"Cheers!" Everyone shouted as they toasted with one another holding a glass of cider or wine. I did the same thing with Miku and watched her drink her cider with elegance as I drank mine in a sloppy fashion. My mom corrected me, and treated me like I was a little kid needing to be trained all over again. Then she began to blab about embarrassing baby stories with Miku listening intently. I, in a flustered mess, tried to stop her from continuing, but my dad stopped me from intervening and even helped add on to whatever mom missed. My twin tailed object of affection was giggling away at these stories and was thrilled to find out that there were more to hear.
Even with my kicking and screaming, no one bothered to rescue me from my humiliating past as a child with my strange actions. Miku did send me sympathy through her beautiful eyes and I was completely lost in them so I let my mom continue on, only because I was in a trance.
"And so Piko-chan would always try to climb this tree, saying that a squirrel took his…"
"M-Mom!"
Miku sent me another sympathetic gaze that was accompanied with a stifled laugh. It sent chills down my spine, in a good way.
Miku-chan… You struck me hard with that spell of yours…
While everyone was going home, my parents offered to drive Miku to her house since it was so late. She declined it though, saying she lived close by and didn't want to be a bother. I offered my services of walking her back, but she rejected that too, making my heart feel heavy by that notion. Miku must've noticed this because she swiftly planted a kiss on my cheek and a wink before skipping down the steps and slowing down to a walk on the side walk. Another spell, and this time it froze me instead of the winter air doing that.
"Piko-kun!" She yelled while walking backwards and waving her arm towards me. I shook my head and took a step outside to wave my arms back at her while people were departing from my house in bundles. "Let's hope that our wishes of New Year come true!" Miku yelled and my heart felt so light that it was as though it gained feathery, angel wings. I nodded with a wide grin on my face.
"I-I'll make sure they come true!" I responded back without thinking, making her freeze then smile innocently back.
"I'll make sure you keep to your word!" Then she twirled back and walked into the darkness out of my eye sight. When everyone was gone with their cars pulling out from the sidewalks and our drive way, I released a satisfied breath and ruffled my white hair. I didn't know what came over me, but I what I did know is that I was going to make sure that both of our wishes come true. I'll do whatever it takes to do so.
"Piko, you'll catch a cold if you stay out for too long!" Dad informed, dropping me that piece of advice. I nodded and jumped back inside the house while shutting the door in a split second. "Hatsune-chan is a nice girl; make sure you're able to reel her in!" He said with a toothy grin, making the blush return to its usual place on my face.
"D-Dad!" I yelled in frustration while waving my arms around at him.
"She's pretty too!" Mom added and I grieved while they laughed at my expense.
Sorry mom and dad… but you're both wrong about Miku-chan, she's not nice, she's like the epitome of benevolence and she's not pretty, she's the definition of beautiful. While we were cleaning up, I grabbed the broom and swept at the fallen plastic cups and crumbs of food. Life was going pretty good, it felt like this was my first encounter with the aqua haired girl and it made my heart soar into a Heavenly place. Just the thought of her makes me have this rush of happiness and motivation to keep on living…
Have I fallen for her that hard?
In all honesty, I thought I wouldn't update so suddenly, but this is a...(fun?) fanfiction to write so I kept on going and wrote chapter two immediately after uploading the first one. I'm nervous about this having the same feel and trying to capture how a shy guy would think, act and feel about falling in love with a girl he only recently met. Also, I didn't plan for them to kiss or anything, it just appeared in the chapter like a wild Pokemon appears in tall grass. ...no idea where that reference\comparison came from, but it works! So yeah this is an early New Years' chapter for all of you!
Happy-early-New Year!
~Ventus
