SUMMARY: No matter what she did - going back to ZAFT, taking secluded vacations, memories continued to haunt her. It was the same for him - either he let go of the memories of the blonde dancer, or let go of his first friend … (S x L)
MAIN PAIRING: Shinn x Lunamaria (implied Steshin, LunaRey, Yzak x Shiho, Dearka x Miriallia, Asucaga, Kira x Lacus)
DISCLAIMER: This is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny. I don't own it. Disregard upcoming Movie and the Special Editions
WARNING: Text and all related materials are rated PG13/T and there is rather strong and coarse language and mild adult themes. So don't complain about offensive languages! XD Also, there are/might be some grammatical errors and typos, spelling mistakes, even after rereading it many times.
NOTE: The story is set from pre-GSD to post GSD. It will mostly be focused on Shinn and Lunamaria. Read the dates carefully!!!
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Let Go
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Bitterness filled up her usually cheerful self. She was even less than a rebound; she was just someone who happened to be there for him to protect, so he wouldn't snap and drown in insanity. She looked for him when she fell in despair, convinced that he had no choice to 'kill' Meyrin. Little did she know, her buried feelings surfaced and she found herself in love with him. But it was un requited, she knew. She couldn't compete with her. She never had a chance, never. - Lunamaria Hawke
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Chapter 2 Gapping Abyss
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- C.E. 72, ZAFT Training Academy, PLANT -
"This is it, Mey, the last test before we can graduate...the very test to determine whether I can be a Redcoat or not!" Lunamaria Hawke told her sister exuburently. Meyrin smiled back at her.
"Mou, you don't seem very excited...is it because you guys don't have to take a test?" Luna pouted, raising her eyebrow at the greencoats.
"Of course, Onee-chan. I'm only a CIC, and Vino and Youlan are mechanics. It's not like we have more responsibility than you guys, the pilots!" Meyrin protested weakly.
Luna grinned, patting her sister's shoulder proudly, "Only a CIC? The youngest and best CIC then, I bet! No one can beat you at computers, Mey and you know it! No worries, I promise I'll ace that test and protect you, as a ZAFT Redcoat!"
"You won't be if you're late, Lunamaria," an emotionless voice called out to her.
"Alright, alright, Rey, I'm coming. I suppose Shinn's still sleeping?" Luna turned around to face her comrade, Rey za Burrel. He always seemed mature for his age, someone they could all depend on for leadership; reliable, responsible and organized, Rey quickly earned silent respect and admiration for his wit and skills. Of course, that included Luna and Shinn.
"You really are loud and annoying(see note), Luna, I can hear you talking from my room," Shinn Asuka yawned drowsily, rubbing his sleepy eyes and stretching. Luna poked his side in retaliation.
"Ow...hey, Rey, do you know what the test is on?" Shinn asked, rubbing his sore side.
Luna rolled her eyes, "You're lucky, you know that? It's going to be a stimulation test - us three piloting as a team to defeat an imaginery enemy forces. Good thing the test is about combat skills, not studying, or you'd fail, Shinn."
The ruby-eyed boy snorted and looked away. Luna scowled, and Rey sighed exasperately.
"Come on, let's go."
Shinn and Rey. Sigh, why do I have to put up with them? They're good friends, I know, but Shinn's gets on my nerves sometimes...oh well. Rey...he's so cool! Though, it's really weird he always calls me 'Lunamaria', not 'Luna' like others. I don't really mind, though. He's so mature, unlike Shinn! Trust Rey to control Shinn's temper. I'm...I'm really glad they are on my team... Luna smiled to herself. Sure, training had been really difficult and tiresome, but it was worth it. As long as she can accomplish her goal.
To be a ZAFT Redcoat.
"Heads up, Lunamaria!" Rey's voice shot through her mind, and she quickly swerved right to dodge a missile.
Right, we're in the stimulation test right now. I really need to focus...I must ace this test!!! She told herself firmly. She looked at the screen and saw Shinn's machine sped past her.
"Mou, don't just charge at the enemy, Shinn! Don't act so impulsively!!" She shouted out a warning. Shinn appeared not to have heard her.
Luna scowled and sped after him. Sure, Shinn's machine was slashing at the enemies efficiently, but the numbers were bound to overwhelm him later.
She quickly fired at an enemy sneaking up behind him. Shinn's voice came from the communication line, "Thanks, Luna, but I can handle it."
Grrr...this is it, I'm not saving his butt anymore! She growled inwardly.
Thus, Shinn's fighting on his own, and Luna was picking off any enemies that were still far away. Not much cooperation here.
"Shinn, Lunamaria, regroup! An unidentified mobile suit is coming," Rey's voice caused the two to stop and flew to his side. Luna could feel her excitement building; even though the test was fake, the enemies were fake and that they won't die for real, she couldn't help but feel anxious at the fight, anticipating a powerful enemy.
"Strike?" Luna gasped in surprise, seeing the legendary gundam that gave endless trouble to the equally infamous Creuset Team. She found herself groaning in resignation, "Man, of all the gundams we had to fight...why does it have to be the Strike? The higherups must really hate us!"
"Don't give up so fast, Lunamaria. If we work together, we can bring it down," Rey's rational words gave her the confidence she needed.
True enough, with Shinn acting as the bait, the three had the Strike cornered. Luna acted as support while Rey fought side by side with Shinn, blocking an attack while the other couldn't.
The test ended with the Strike apparition disappearing and the screen fading. The three got out of their machines and were congratulated on their excellent performance.
A ZAFT commander was looking at their scores. "Let's see...Lunamaria Hawke, you're very accurate when it comes to long-range combat, but your melee ability isn't bad either. Shinn Asuka, you're very good at evading and aiming at the enemies' weak spots. You're extraordinary at both shooting and melee. Rey za Burrel, what a splendid battle you fought! You're precise at everything."
Shinn had a proud smirk, Luna was grinning from ear to ear while Rey had his usual stoic expression, though he seemed pleased. Duh, who wouldn't be, from all of the compliments?
"I am proud to proclaim the three of you ZAFT's Redcoats," the commander shook hands with them, giving them the diplomas they deserved.
With trembling hands, Luna accepted the diploma, feeling her heart expand with joy. Meyrin and the other came up to them and congratulate on their success.
"Mom and Dad would be proud, Onee-chan," Meyrin hugged Luna, who was still slightly dazed. She was officially a Redcoat! Their father was a Redcoat. He was an elite Commander stationed on Boaz, and their mother was a CIC in the control center. Of course, then, the tragedy struck... She gripped the diploma tight. I wont' let you down, Mom, Dad. I'll protect Meyrin. I'm going to make you proud.
"Hey guys, it's said that we've been assigned to the new battleship, the Minerva!!!" Vino shouted excitedly, "Let us take a picture, then, to celebrate this moment!"
Luna glanced at Rey, whose expression remained unreadable, and then at Shinn, who was looking at the pink cellphone he treasured. Those two...they need to lighten up! Can't have their gloomy faces on the photo!
The moment before the photo was taken, Luna threw each of her arms around the two surprised guys, bringing them out of their stupor. The photo ended with a grinning Luna in the middle of a surprised Shinn and an amused Rey. Meyrin was standing shyly off to the side, with Vino and Youlan making faces at the camera.
"Luna! Why the hell did you do that for?" Shinn frowned at her, rubbing his sore neck. Used to his language, Luna shrugged, "Just thought it'd be fun to shock you." She glanced at Rey, and was surprised to him smiling lightly at them.
So he can smile...it's cute, Luna grinned back. She knew being a Redcoat didn't mean things will be easy, but she was ready. She had Meyrin, her friends, and most importantly, her trusted comrades Shinn and Rey.
What more could she ask for?
- C.E. 74 August, Aprilius, PLANT -
"Idiot...," Luna smiled sadly, gazing at the gravestone in front of her. Her hands slowly glided across the name of her comrade, her friend
"Rey...," she whispered the name nostalgically.
"I really liked you, you know? You were cool and collected, someone I look up to. Even when I became infatuated with Athrun, I thought you...might get jealous or something. You were still the same Rey and didn't really mind Athrun's presence in our group. You were still...unreachable and indifferent. But you changed," she paused, willing the painful memories to recede.
"You never showed your emotions. You never told anyone but Shinn your secret...that you were a clone and didn't have a future...why, Rey? Why? Why didn't you let me share your burdens as well?"
"How cold you were to me. How uncaring you had become after you got into Legend...so emotionless you were that you even persuaded him to kill Meyrin and Athrun... I thought, we were all friends, we were all families... Even though I don't know they survived at the time, even though you couldn't care less about anyone but the Chairman and Shinn...I never had the heart to resent you."
She imagined his piercing blue eyes staring at her reprimandingly. "I couldn't...blame either of you...Why did this happen? Why didn't you tell us anything? I trusted you...why did this happen? Why did you have to die?" Her voice trembled, her lips quivered.
"What should I have done to prevent this, Captain?" Luna asked the grave besides Rey's. Captain Talia Gladys's grave resided at this spot because of the Minerva's crew's request. Even until the very end, the crew still believed in the Captain and Rey...and the Chairman.
"It felt so weird without you around, Rey..." Tears spilled down her cheeks uncontrollably, "If you are here, tell me, what should I do? I'm so lost without him. I know I can't compete with the girl he truly loves, Rey, but is it so much that even our friendship can't remain? Do we really have to break apart? We can never be the' three of us' again...just us three..."
She dried her eyes hastily, trying to stop herself from recalling the wonderful memories of their time together in the training academy, their strong friendship. She stared blankly at his grave, contemplating on her life. Her messed up life, and her messed up mind.
Lunamaria...
Her head shot up, and she glanced around wildly. Tears leaked out from her eyes and she laughed bitterly, "Why, I'm even imagining his voice...are you...are you with me right now, Rey? Are you reprimanding me for my pathetic state right now?"
"Lunamaria-san?" A kind voice called out to her. Realizing it was not a figment of her imagination this time, she turned around to see the newcomers.
"Murrue-san, Mwu-san, Robert-chan," Luna managed to grin at the little boy who came with the Flagas. Robert Gladys was Captain Gladys' son, and was currently under the custody of the Fllagas.
"You haven't contacted us for months, where have you been?" Murrue said.
"Oh, I've been around...going from PLANT to PLANT..."
"We're all really worried... "
"Especially your sister," Mwu added, earning a light nudge from Murrue.
"Meyrin...is she alright? How's she coping with the life in Orb? She's not too much trouble for you, is she?" Guilt rushed to Luna's heart. Oh, I'm so sorry Mey. I should send her an e-mail tonight.
"Oh, Meyrin's very good with little Robert. She's been a great family member to us, though she still misses you, her only family," Murrue explained. Luna averted her gaze.
"I can't go back to Orb. I...I just need a break. A long break."
"Will you come back to Orb later, then?"
"No...as much as I don't want to leave Meyrin, I can't...I don't want to go back to Orb," Luna replied, her eyes dimming with unpleasant memories.
"That kid, what did he do this time?" Mwu asked protectively. After the Flagas took the Hawke sisters under their wing, he became used to think of them as sisters.
"Please, don't blame Shinn, he didn't do anything wrong. I understand his decision... But it still hurts, you know?" Luna looked up into the sky, "No matter. As long as we're both alright. As long as we've both found our peace..."
The Flagas exchanged looks. Mwu exhaled in remorse, "Yeah, I wish him to be happy...after all I failed to fulfill the promise I gave to him..."
Luna cringed at the mention of the 'promise'. Yes, Shinn would be really happy right now, and I wouldn't have to suffer this pain, Luna couldn't help but think this way. Yet, she wouldn't voice this bitter opinion aloud; Mwu was a really nice man and she was sure he tried his best to save Stellar-
The magenta-haired girl bit her lips in attempt to stop a sob from escaping.
Murrue sighed dejectedly,"Um, well, please take care of yoursef, Luna-san. You're a lot thinner than the last time we saw you."
"I'm fine, really. Please don't worry about it," Lunamaria waved goodbye, taking one last glance at Rey's grave before walking away.
Walking towards a life with a strange hollowness.
A life without Shinn.
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End of Chapter 2
(note) I was re-watching GSD and Shinn really did say that to Luna at one point. It was funny - he said it as if he was talking about the weather and Lnna didn't really look offended.
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A/N: Yes, a pretty confusing chapter but a key point is that, yes, Shinn and Luna broke up not long after chapter 1, but their broke up was...well, not as you might've thought.It will come up next chapter. Meyrin is currently living with the Flagas, since she is still underage, but being a year older Luna is legally an adult. Shinn lives with the orphanage currently. Meyrin would've live there too but she doesn't want to see him.
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Please Review!
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Athyra
