034. Leave

'That's it.'

John snaps his lighter shut and stomps to the front of the X-Jet, leaning between Bobby and Rogue to lower the ramp and turning his back on them as they jump to their feet. He snatches up a jacket that wasn't his before today and thinks – for just a moment – that this might work.

It's just a moment.

'Whoa, where do you think you're goin'?'

Hearing Bobby drop a 'g' bothers John; it makes him sound pissed-off and not-quite caring. Something changes between them in that instant, but he doesn't notice it immediately. Instead he just lets Bobby's affronted voice irritate him as much as possible, because if he fans the flames this might hurt less.

'I'm sick of this "kid's table" shit. I'm going in there.'

The air outside is cold, billowing up the ramp and biting into John's hot flesh. It's almost as cold as the look Bobby is giving him from across the jet; the same look he's been giving John ever since his parent's magnolias went up in flames.

'John, they told us ta stay in here.'

And there's Rogue, offering him an excuse that doesn't quite cut it. He falters anyway, but he knows, deep down, it's not enough to make him stay.

It's Rogue, not Bobby.

So he swallows the fear and the pain and the disappointment that's trying to choke him and turns to look at her straight, which he's hardly done since they met and overlooks Bobby, because Bobby keeps overlooking him.

'You always do as you're told?'

She considers it; tilts her head to the side and regards him with an interest she's never shown anyone except Logan before now. John barely notices. He glances at Bobby and the Iceman shifts but says nothing, even though he must know that the words are meant for him. It's a dare, but Bobby's far too sensible to rise to it.

John doesn't want to leave. He hates the snow and the cold, but he hates that no one tries to stop him even more. And somewhere, deep down it his gut, there's a bad guy that knows no one wants him here anymore.

Sometimes the bad guy wins.