To those who are confused about the pairings in this: Yes, I still fiercely ship E/E, but I couldn't resist writing this, not just to appease the Meponine shippers that I angered with Eponine's Tale, but because this idea was just too hilarious.

Chapter 1

Eponine's head was in the clouds as she walked to the cafe with Marius. She had stopped planning how to arrange a meeting between Enjy and Blondie, as she had begun to mentally refer to her imaginary couple, somewhere along the Seine as she and Marius had walked together. However, as they walked through the door and she caught a glimpse of the revolutionary, the events of earlier that day rushed back to her, resulting in a smirk crossing her face, which did not go unnoticed by Marius.

"Eponine, please don't," he whispered to her under his breath.

"Why not?" she asked him quietly. "Don't you think the Marble Prince needs a pretty princess?"

Marius' only response was to sigh and roll his eyes as he took a seat and Enjolras turned to glare at them.

"You two are late," he said sharply.

"In a bad mood since you're regretting not getting the little blonde girl's name?" Eponine teased instantly.

Everyone stopped and stared at Eponine for a second before turning to stare at Enjolras. Joly's jaw dropped, Grantaire roared with laughter, and Enjolras found his face burning despite himself.

"Eponine..." Marius sighed, resisting the urge to laugh himself. He'd never seen Enjolras look so shocked. Nor had he ever seen Eponine look so proud of herself, for that matter. The small brunette was smirking rather smugly, her head held high.

"Women. Are. Nothing. More. Than. A. Distraction," Enjolras growled eventually, glaring particularly at a now beaming Eponine. Marius rested his forehead on the palm of his hand in frustration. This was not going to end well.

"Oh, honestly, Enjy, just lighten up a little!" Dead silence followed Eponine's words.

"Never. Call me. Enjy. AGAIN!" Now she was in for it. Marius groaned.

"Why not?" Eponine asked, smirking. "Enjy?" Grantaire stifled a laugh,causing Enjolras to shoot him a quick glare before turning back to Eponine, not sure how to respond to the skinny brunette.

Eponine, however, felt very pleased with herself, and was prepared to shoot him another comment that she knew he wouldn't like. When he didn't respond, she went for it, despite knowing what kind of reaction it was likely to get.

"Is that nickname specifically reserved for the pretty little blonde who was so taken with you earlier?"

"Get out!"

Shrieking with laughter like a banshee, Eponine headed for the door, and, as she opened it, turned and flashed a wicked smile at Enjolras. "Bye, Enjy!"

It took all of his willpower not to hurl a book at her.