This chapter takes place on Anna's first day of freshmen year in high school, nine months before chapter 1.

"Come on, come on! Elsa, we're gonna be late!" Anna's overly excited voice was easily penetrating Elsa's door and ears, rousing her from a rather deep sleep.

The older girl feebly attempted to open her eyes but could not, they were weighed down with the sleep she had just been so rudely taken from. Summoning all of her energy, Elsa called back with a heavy drawl, "can't I just not go?" The girl's eyes started to once again relax, her body slipping away into oblivion, exhausted from the energy it took to talk.

"No! We need to go to the first day of school together!" Unfortunately, Anna sounded quite determined and Elsa could almost feel her playful scowl through the door.

Lifting her own head was futile pursuit, and Elsa quickly gave in to the pillows around her. 'Who invented waking up?' Lifting her arm, which felt like it was pinned down by a boulder, Elsa very carefully and gently used it to pick her head up.

SMACK!

"Ouch!" Elsa's arm had fallen limp on her face, connecting with a slap to her cheek. 'Well at least that opened up my eyes.' Continuing her epic struggle against the clutches of comfort and sleep, Elsa eventually managed to sit up. 'I might as well have just risen from the dead. What time is it?' Attempting to focus her blurry vision, the girl looked over at her phone and woke it up. '7:33. Ugh, school starts in thirty minutes.' Her eye lids started feeling heavy once again, closing no matter how hard she fought it. 'Oh no you don't' and she rolled off the bed, slamming on the floor with a loud crash. "Okay, maybe not such a good idea." the older girl muttered to herself. Her hip had landed first, sending a shock through her backbone, and now it was complaining with a dull ache. Tentatively taking her slender fingers, Elsa pushed lightly on the obtrusive spot on her hip and felt a sharp pain burrow its way through her. 'Okay, don't touch it.'

After hearing a loud crash from her older sister's room, Anna gasped and yelled "Elsa! What happened? Are you okay?" The red head was about to give up and assume her older sister didn't hear, but just before she could break the door down she heard a sleepy voice call back to her.

"Yeah," yawn, "I just fell off the bed."

Anna relaxed her body slightly, still that thud sounded painful. Elsa has interesting ways to get up.. "Okay," the younger girl said back, dragging the word out in confusion.

"I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes." Elsa sounded like she was about to fall back to sleep. 'If she isn't there in exactly fifteen minutes I'm gonna barge in to her room and drag her out.' Anna's stomach growled violently, like something was eating her from the inside out, and at that she decided breakfast would be an excellent idea. Excitement coursing through her veins like a drug, Anna marched downstairs to find some cereal.

Every muscle in Elsa's body complained as she tried to stand up from the floor, groaning for her to give up and lay back down. 'I can't, I have to get ready.' Fighting the dull aches of her tired body, the girl stoop up and stumbled toward the door, grabbing a plain gray t-shirt and blue genes along the way. She didn't really care what bra and panties she wore, so she took a random pair and hobbled towards the bathroom, legs still threatening to drop her at any second.

Arriving at the bathroom, she closed and locked the door behind her. 'Okay, I don't really have time to do my hair or take a real shower, so we'll see how this goes.' The girl went and turned on the water, letting it run so it could warm up while she brushed her teeth. A dull pain traversed Elsa's mouth as she brushed on a specific point on her gums. 'I must have missed that spot last time or something.' The platinum blonde finished brushing her teeth and spat into the sink, rinsing her mouth with the running water. She smiled into the mirror, revealing very white, well kept teeth. Good, your teeth are still white, that and your skin. Why am I so pale? Is that why no one talks to me?' Elsa's heart was jabbed by a rapier as she realized Anna was going to have to be seen with her, the girl who never talked. Elsa knew that her impressive, moon like, milky skin wasn't why people didn't talk to her. She knew exactly why they didn't. 'I'm a freak.' Elsa felt her stomach tense, the rapier twisted a little in her heart, opening a gaping whole in it. 'I want to talk to people. I want friends. I wish I was brave enough, and what if it comes back? I don't want people to make fun of Anna because she's with me at school.' Elsa felt an emptiness inside, her throat swelling as her eyes began to release gentle tears. The thought of Anna's feelings being hurt was too much. 'I'm not even used to the insults, what will she do?'

Shoulders slumped and head down, Elsa stripped . "The girl who never talks. 'I wonder if she is dumb?' 'She probably doesn't know how to talk.'" These were just the beginning of what people said about Elsa, but she didn't understand. If she was asked a question in class she would give a short, sufficient answer, that should prove she can talk. 'But it's always only one word, because if I talk more...' She didn't want to think about it.

Warm, unfriendly tears were running down Elsa's lowered face as she stepped in to the shower, neglecting to check the temperature with her hand. Suddenly, a thousand icicles were stabbing her, freezing her to the core. The water hadn't warmed up at all, it was like bathing in ice, yanking the girl out of her thoughts of self pity, loathing, and most of all, fear for Anna. Startled by the abrupt cold, Elsa jumped back, slamming against the wall and almost falling. The cool tiles chilled her back, and in combination with the freezing water, she felt like she was frozen in ice. The blonde gave up on showering and stepped out, doing her best to stay out of the water as she reached to turn it off. 'Well, I'm actually awake now.'

Anna had decided that trying to find any cereal in the house was a futile search and decided that a pack of chocolate Poptarts would do. 'Oh well,' she thought sarcastically to herself. Poptarts were one of those things that Anna couldn't get enough of, though the other flavors she didn't particularly like, the chocolate ones were perfect. She placed them in the toaster, her entire body tingling and shaking with excitement. 'Not only do I get to start high school, but I get Poptarts on my first day!' Giddy, Anna heard the ding of the toaster ring through her ears, signifying her treat was ready for her. The red head reached over and grabbed the pastries without thinking, and a burn surged through her fingers. Pulling back in alarm, Anna dropped one of the Poptarts on the ground, its delicious chocolate inside breaking out and oozing onto the floor. Thankfully, the second one decided to land flat on the counter, staying mostly in tact. With red fingers Anna went over and ran her hand under cool water. The sensation of the water rolling across her skin and gently chasing away the stinging burn she acquired soothed her, calming even her excitement to a dull roar.

Once the sink had done it's job, Anna picked the pastry on the floor up, this time with a paper towel, and tossed it in the trash. She used the same paper towel to wipe away the oozing filling that inhabited the floor and threw it away as well. Going for her remaining treat, the red head picked it up, carefully this time, testing its temperature. To her relief it was still warm, but not too hot. The girl bit into the Poptart, and an explosion of flavor coursed around her mouth. The sweet chocolate seeped into her tongue, dancing with her taste buds eternally. She closed her eyes and rolled them back in ecstasy, enjoying each and every bite of her breakfast. A quiet moan escaped her mouth as Anna finished her food, and her cheeks warmed up in embarrassment of her intense chocolaty moment. 'Man I'm good that doing embarrassing things, no one is here and I'm embarrassed.' She giggled to herself.

Elsa was walking down the stairs just in time to hear Anna moan softly. 'What is she doing down there?' The girl's heart beat a little faster as some interesting possibilities crossed her mind. She smiled to herself and continued on, secretly hoping it was one of her more erotic ideas. 'What am I even thinking of? She is my sister. Remember what dad says.' Elsa arrived at the kitchen just in time to see Anna licking the last bits of a Poptart of her fingers. 'I should have known, chocolate.' "Hey." Elsa was surprised at how pathetic her own voice was.

"Hey Elsa! I was just about to come drag you down!" Anna turned around to face her older sister. "How to I look for my first day of high school?"

Elsa's heart began to pound, her knees started to shake. 'Tell her something sisterly, you look beautiful, amazing, perfect. She really does. In every way.' The older girl had not been expecting her little sister to dress up for the first day of school, but as always, Anna shattered expectations with a heavy hammer. She was wearing a summer dress that had a black mid section and dark green leaf designs laced in. A green strap about the width of a hand gently held on to the girl's shoulders, leaving her toned arms completely exposed. The lower part was a lighter green, and came down to her ankles, but looked ventilated enough for summer. The dress brought out Anna's eyes, making them go from a teal color to almost a rich green. Her freckles were visible on her upper chest, though no cleavage was shown, and they traced all the way down her arms and across her cheeks. Anna's hair was in twin pigtails, something the older girl always found cute, and with the sunlight bouncing off them like that it was almost too much. Anna was simply on fire. Elsa was nervous, her mouth began to feel dry. She was at a loss of words, Anna was simply beautiful. A constant thudding in her head, Elsa tried to talk, "I- You look, b- gre- y-you look g-good." 'Good!? That's all you can say!? She looks perfect, Aphrodite would be jealous!' The platinum blonde heaved her chest, her breathing becoming a little shallow.

Thankfully, Anna seemed happy with Elsa's mediocre display of affection and smiled a bright smile stretching from ear to ear. "Thanks Elsa! I don't know how you do it, but you always look amazing, when you just throw a random shirt on."

Elsa blushed, feeling her face grow hot. 'I'm hideous compared to you. My hair is in a bun because I didn't have time to braid it like I normally like it.' Nonetheless, Anna's compliment meant a lot to Elsa, and she felt at ease for a moment. A rare moment for her, and only ever brought about by Anna. 'But remember what father says, conceal, don't feel. Don't speak.' A pang shot through Elsa's heart, singing it like a ship. She wanted to much to be able to be happy, but her father was right. She was a screw up and disgusting. 'She can't be seen with me.' Shoulder's slumped, Elsa mumbled to Anna, grabbing her keys. "Let's go."

Confused by her older sister's sudden drop in mood, Anna cocked her eyebrow but didn't press the matter. Elsa wasn't one to open up, she never did. But she was always there when Anna needed her, and always listened, no matter what. And that, coming from Elsa, was a lot. Caught between bouncing excitement and crippling confusion, Anna followed her sister to the car.

The ride to school was silent, no radio, no nothing. Well, for most of the way it was. Out of the blue, Elsa spoke. Her voice was uneven. "Anna.." The red head looked at her sister, Elsa glanced over to make sure she had attention. The blue of her eyes was extra wet, and Anna could see small tears forming at the base of Elsa's eyes. The younger girl's heart split. 'Oh no, why is she crying? What is she gonna say?' With an uneasy stomach, Anna listened as Elsa continued. "You can't be s-seen with me a-at s-school." The words smacked the red head across the face, leaving a sore burning in her eyes, she began to cry. It didn't exactly sound like Elsa wanted to say that, but she did, and it hurt. It hurt like an arrow piercing her heart, it hurt like a blow to the gut, it broke something inside of Anna. 'Why?Does she hate me?'

Anna's voice raised but was raspy around her impending tears, "Why? Why not? What's wrong with me?" She held her hands to her eyes to wipe away water droplets jumping to their death. Her stomach was knotted a thousand different ways.

"N-n-nothing's w-wrong with y-y-you." Elsa was crying too, now. There was clear pain in her voice, 'she really didn't want to have to say that? Why did she then?'

"Then why would you push me away like that? Like you always do! What did I ever do to you?!" Anna was yelling now, and didn't think before she talked. An instant spike of remorse settled through the younger girl, she breathing became rapid and uneven. 'Oh my god, how much did I just hurt her?' It was clearly a lot. Elsa was visibly shaken at the words, slamming the brakes as they abruptly pulled into a spot. 'I hit a nerve too hard this time.' Elsa began to let out loud sobs, tears and mucus covering her face. Saliva began to drip from her mouth as she got out of the car and started running. Anna sat there, unable to move, hating herself for saying that. 'She has a hard time opening up, and what did you do? You forced to her close all her doors again.' She berated herself for her stupidity. The red head wasn't even sure if she was still alive, she felt no pulse, no pangs, no nothing. Except remorse.

As Elsa was turning from the car to run, Anna could swear she heard the voice of someone that had been broken one too many times say "I-I n-never wanted t-to p-push y-y-you aaway." But when she looked up, Elsa was already gone.

Emptiness was all Anna felt all day. she looked for Elsa everywhere, but to no avail. She would hope to see Elsa around every turn, only to have her hopes crush like an ant under a boot. The knowledge that her emptiness could only be cured by apologizing to Elsa and hearing her sister say she forgives her hung like a boulder on a frayed rope over her head all day. With every step she took, it threatened to crush her, every breath broke on more fiber. The day couldn't go by fast enough, it felt like an eternity. 'How am I going to live through this?'

At lunch, Anna sat down and played with her food. She knew she needed to eat, but her stomach was violently rebelling, yelling for the food to stay away. Anxiety was taking its hold on her and she couldn't stomach anything but water. Even then, no matter how much water she drank her throat felt dry and lumpy. The two halves of her heart pumped blood through her body with great difficulty, resulting in a constant throbbing in her head.

Noticing Anna's uncharacteristic silence, her old friend Rapunzel asked "Anna, what's wrong? You're clearly upset." She put her hand on Anna's shoulder, which helped comfort the red head a little bit. 'At least I didn't screw up one of my closest friendships.' Suddenly, Anna could feel her eyes grow misty, her nose begin to run. The entire day she had been too far gone to even cry, but now she could only let it out. As quietly as she could, Anna began sobbing, and it was still rather loud. 'Great, I'm making a fool of myself on my first day.'

The red head turned and faced her friend, who was looking at her with deep concern in her eyes. She began to talk, which came out more like a choking noise. "I-I hurt Elsa's f-feelings really bad." She paused to take a deep breath and wipe snot from her nose, "I went t-to f-far because I w-was m-mad." She felt arms wrap around her as she closed her eyes, allowing the agony of her mistake take full control of her.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Elsa will forgive you. Sisters forgive, they are inseparable." Even though Rapunzel didn't really know Anna's older sister, she spoke from her heart. She knew it would be okay, it had to be, Anna needed it to be.

Anna sat there, crying into her friend's neck while Rapunzel patted her back, gently whispering assurances into her ear. The breath tickled her ear and ran down the back of her neck. Nothing seemed to help until Anna started pretending that instead of Rapunzel comforting her it was Elsa. Now the brunette's soft voice, replaced with Elsa's, was like a life raft in the stormy ocean Anna was drowning in, giving her something to hold on to. The arms around the red head became the sun, breaking the dark, cloudy sky slowly but surely, bring the wind and torrential rain to an end. She grabbed the raft and it pulled her up, she could breath. Anna's heavy cries subsided to much softer sobs, tears drying and cracking on her face. "Thank you" she breathed.

By the end of the lunch period, Anna had regained herself and could think a little bit, but anxiety was still strangling her. Rapunzel still sat with her, trying to distract the girl by talking about this guy Flynn she was in to. Anna pulled off a fake smile here and there, but she couldn't pay attention, all of her mind was on Elsa. 'Is Elsa gonna wait to drive me home? Will she ever open back up?' Thousands of thoughts were swirling through Anna's mind, all of which were feeding that razor sharp monster of anxiety thriving inside of her. So lost in her own thoughts, Anna didn't even notice the bell ring until Rapunzel grabbed her arm and said "hey, it's time to go to class. The sooner you get that over with, the sooner you can talk to Elsa." The mention of Elsa snapped Anna back to reality and she picked up her books and headed for class, not bothering to stop at her locker.

For the remainder of the school day, Anna let her mind wander, thinking about what she would say to Elsa and how Elsa would most likely respond. 'I'm sorry, I know I pushed too far, I shouldn't have said that. But she always has pushed me away. Sure more recently I've been getting closer to her, but what about all that time she wouldn't even let me in her room?' Anna felt a sharp jab in her heart as she thought about those times, how she thought Elsa hated her. How much it hurt when her older sister would tell her to go away, all those hours in front of Elsa's door, asking what went wrong, never to get an answer. 'She was starting to open up to you, and you turned around and threw that all back at her. She clearly regrets it, why would you hurt her?'

By the end of the day, anxiety once again had a strangle hold on Anna. She could barely breath, let alone pay attention to anything around her. 'What if she doesn't wait for me? What if she hates me forever?' The last few minutes of Anna's last class felt like hours as she watched the clock tick. The only times she had paid any attention all day were when the teachers would call on her to introduce herself. Begrudgingly, the red head would stand up and quietly state her name and sit back down, losing herself in her thoughts once again. Even as Anna watched the second hand tick she felt fear rising like a tide through her body, coursing through her veins and stalling time. The girl's hands started to become clammy as the minute hand neared the end of the last hour. Heart beats thudded like hammers on her skull, rendering her ears useless, she could not hear anything, only fear the worst.

And then a slight ringing snaked through Anna's ear. At first she thought it was her mind playing tricks on her. After all, it had been way overburdened today, but when she saw everyone else getting up to leave she realized it was the bell. 'The bell, I have to go, I have to get to Elsa's car now!' Rushing to collect her already packed things, Anna ran out of her seat, tunnel visioned on the door. She didn't even hear the other students' remarks as she pushed past them, bolting through the door and down the hallway towards the parking lot. Each step was only driven by the need to apologize to Elsa. 'What if she never opens up to me again? What if she hates me forever?' Anna couldn't clear her mind of these intrusions and her eyes began to heat up and mist.

Heart pounding and lungs strained for air, Anna arrived at Elsa's car to find no one there. 'I must have beaten her here, I did run after all.' She sat down on the hood of the white car, the metal sending a pleasant heat through her rear. Looking down at her legs, Anna began to feel her heart race. She couldn't stand the wait any longer, she needed to talk to Elsa now.

As if on queue, Anna heard her older sister's voice. It was calm, and unexpectedly, it didn't sound angry. "Hey."

Bewildered, the red head looked up at her platinum blonde sister, "Hey- Hey me?"

Elsa simply nodded, a small smile on her lips.

"Oh, uh, hi." Anna began fiddling with her hair. 'Maybe now isn't the best time to bring it up, she seems happy, I don't want to upset her.'

"I'm sorry about earlier," Elsa's voice was lower and serious now. 'What! No, I'm the sorry one!' "I over reacted." The older girl left it at that and went for the driver's seat of the car, pulling her keys out of her pocket as she walked.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, it was out of line." Anna was surprised at how calm her own voice came out. "I know I hurt you, I don't want to do it again."

Elsa looked up at her sister, the smile had faded from her face. "No, no. It's fine, really."

Anna decided it would probably be best not to press the subject for now. 'A later time, then.' She got off of the hood and whirled around to the passenger's door, yanking it open, and climbed in. As Anna plopped down, the older girl started the car and pulled out of the space, her attention behind the car to avoid hitting any people strolling by. Anna's heart sank as she tossed around the idea of asking one more question. She didn't want to, but she felt like she needed the answer to calm herself down. Fighting a war of wits with her own mind, Anna began fidgeting in her seat, pulling her own hair and twirling the amber locks in her fingers.

Elsa noticed her sister's unease and thanked God she wasn't that see through. She may have remained calm on the outside when she had shown up at the car, but there was lava boiling every inch of her insides the entire time. The pain of locking Anna out, of obeying her father. 'I want to tell Anna what he did. I want to explain to her, but I can't.' Elsa was struggling to keep her focus on the road, she was in peril. On the outside she appeared calm still, but on the inside she was shaking like an earthquake. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest, each beat sending a wave of dull regret and pain through her. A knotted stomach threatened to eat itself, burning her from the inside out. Gripping the steering wheel too tightly, Elsa continued driving in silence, wanting to break the silence but not knowing how. 'If only Anna could know everything and still be the one friend I have. Still be the one person that truly cares for me.'

Just then, the silence was broken by her younger sister. A weak, scared voice rang through Elsa's ears, "why did you shut me out?"

Ouch. A red hot dagger twisted somewhere in Elsa, almost making her double over in pain. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, every one screaming to be released, to explain to Anna. But that couldn't happen. No, never. In a barely audible rasp Elsa replied, "w-we'll t-talk at h-h-home." The platinum blonde looked over at her sister, the younger girl's hair shined like a raging fire in the sunlight of the windows, mirroring how Elsa felt on the inside. Anna just gave a solemn nod.

Parking the car on the driveway, Elsa unsteadily unbuckled herself and got out of the car. Her knees could barely hold her up. Anxiety was taking its toll on her mind as she thought about what she was going to say. 'Are you going to tell her? Can you tell her? You'd better not, it'll make her hate you.' Not to mention what her father would do. Fear weaseled its way into Elsa's veins, entrapping her in a cocoon closing on both sides, an vault she would never escape. 'Tell her, tell her, tell her' was all Elsa could hear, but logic silently bode her otherwise.

"I-I have to u-use the b-bathroom." Elsa could barely talk, she was sure it didn't even come out until she heard Anna chirp an okay and walk over to her. The red head pulled Elsa into a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around the older girl's mid back. The contact warmed Elsa and melted a fortress of ice cold fear that had built up around her. Her nerves relaxed, allowing her tense muscles to give themselves a break, and she fell into the hug. Soft tears tickled Elsa's cheeks as they rolled down her face. Anna was so warm, so forgiving, so happy. 'What if I take that away?'

A warm breath of whisper licked Elsa's ear, sending shivers down her spine. "I love you Elsa, and I always will, no matter what. You can tell me anything." Elsa's skin crawled. The words melted her heart and churned her stomach. 'If only you knew what I was hiding, Anna.' Elsa buried her face in Anna's neck, taking in the contact, as it may be the last time it ever happens. Ever so softly she began to cry. The red head pulled away from the embrace, looking at Elsa in the eyes for a moment, her own eyes were a light teal with the lighting, complimented perfectly by her dress. 'She is still so beautiful.' "I'll meet you in your room. It'll be okay, Elsa." Anna reassured her.

Elsa simply nodded in response and her younger sister turned and ran up the stairs, her dress trailing behind her feet.

"Elsa, a word. Now." A stern man's voice cracked a whip in the platinum blond's ears. She looked over to see her father, dread setting into every fiber of her being.

"Y-yes s-s-sir." Elsa lowered her head and moved slowly towards the man, almost collapsing in fear of what would happen. 'Did he just see us?'

Crossing the living room, Elsa went into a room further from the rest of the house: her father's office. 'This is where I said it, where my life changed. For the worse.' She tentatively crossed the threshold and felt a chill run down her spine as the door clicked shut. In a low, stern voice her father began, "Don't mess up, Elsa. Remember, conceal, don't feel. Don't act."

In a sorry excuse for a voice, Elsa tried to reply to her father. "Y-y-yes f-f-father." The words came painfully slow, and Elsa could feel her father getting angrier at her. She could feel the room heating up from the steam blowing from his ears, the lighting grow red with his face.

"Keep it under control, you are defected child, and you know why." His voice hurt, it crushed her, it squished her heart and tore it out every time he said that. Every time he looked at her. Every thing Elsa's father did destroyed her on the inside, she needed someone to talk to. But she didn't have anyone, she had no friends, her mother would certainly side with her father, and Anna. She couldn't make her beloved sister deal with this, and once Anna knew why their father hated Elsa, she would also hate her. Tears rolled down Elsa's cheek, burning her face as they went. Nothing would ever save her from this, she would forever be drowning in choppy water, only to eventually be swallowed by the dark depths below her. "Now leave."

Elsa turned and ran out of the room, eyes covered. She bounded up the stairs to her own quarters, where she could cry in peace. Where there wouldn't be a monster waiting to break her beyond repair.

Swinging her door open, Elsa rushed, slammed the door behind her and jumped onto her bed to cry into a pillow. Loud yells of agony escaped her throat and she was choking on the lump that had formed in her esophagus. Mucus, tears and saliva covering her pillow, Elsa let it all out. Then, a warm pair of hands placed themselves tenderly on her shoulder blades. 'Anna! I forgot she was waiting in here, oh God!' "A-Anna, I-I-I-I" Elsa couldn't form her words, she was too scared to.

"It's okay, Elsa, you can cry. Everybody has to at some point." Anna pulled her sister up, locking her in an embrace, Allowing the platinum blond to place her own head in the crook of the red head's neck. She felt tears amongst other fluids leak onto her shoulder, but she didn't care, it was more important that Elsa was okay. She looked completely broken, like no hope was left in her, like she was about to give in to the tides. 'Elsa, what is it?' Anna wanted so desperately to ask, but Elsa had said they'd talk, and she clearly needed time. So, the red head pulled her sister into a tighter embrace, feeling Elsa's heaving chest on her own. The loud moans of mental agony rang in Anna's ears. Elsa was going to be okay, she had to be.

Anna began to feel her own eyes become misty and her own heart become heavy. The pain of seeing her older sister in such a dark place brought Anna down too, pulling her under like a shark. 'What could have happened? I heard dad tell her they needed to talk. What did he say?' Suddenly, Anna felt a pang of anger at her father. 'If he hurt her I'm gonna... Wait what am I thinking? I don't even know if he did anything or if it was all me.' The brief rage subsided and Anna felt her nails release from her palms, leaving marks where she dug them in just a second ago. Replacing the anger was a dry lump in her throat and more fresh tears traversing her cheeks. Her heart split in two, each half falling away into nothingness, leaving a gaping whole where it should be. 'I did this.' Anna could no longer breath, her lungs filled with guilt, choking her to oblivion. Burying her head in the crook of Elsa's neck, Anna let everything out, all the guilt of hurting Elsa, all her own hurt at being locked out, and all of the confusion built up in her over the years.

The sisters stayed there until neither one had any tears left. They had cried their souls out, left with a shell of themselves, an infinite emptiness. Anna was the first to speak, in a weak, raspy voice dripping with caution. "Y-you said we'd talk." She pulled away and looked at Elsa, her eyes were red and puffy and her face a mess of fluids. What little color was in the older girl's face left and she looked like a deer in headlights. 'She is scared. Give her time to respond.' And Anna did just that, she sat there, waiting, and took Elsa's hands in her own. She could feel her own eyes stinging from the crying, and reveled in the soft, slender hands in hers. The touch was enough to rejuvenate just a little hope in Anna, hope that things would be okay and Elsa would open up to her, never locking her out again. A dream she had been having for years.

After several minutes, Elsa exhaled, dropping her eyes to the ground and slumping her shoulders. The older girl closed her eyes to breathe and Anna could tell she was about to talk. Knowing how difficult this must be fore Elsa, the red head gave her sister's had a small squeeze of assurance, a small return on the hope Elsa had given her. Then, without looking up, eyes still closed, Elsa began to speak. The words came quietly and slowly, but Anna was patient, "Y-y-yeah. I-I need to t-t-tell y-you s-s-something." Elsa raised her eyes to look at her younger sister's. The icy blue was dried up and cracking with red around it, the rich ocean of color gone. In its place was a wasteland, a desert devoid of any life.

Seeing fear in Elsa, Anna spoke as gently as she could, "You can tell me anything, Elsa" and gave her older sister another hand squeeze, smiling warmly at her.

Once again looking down, shame dripping off of her features, Elsa took a long, deep breath. She closed her eyes as she exhaled and Anna could almost feel her struggle, hear her thoughts screaming a thousand different things at her. 'She is at least trying to, even if she doesn't manage to say it, she clearly wants to.' Elsa's voice was almost inaudible. "I-I-I ha-h-have a," Elsa took another breath, gathering courage to go on. Anna's heart pumped, she was so focused on her sister that time slowed down, everything else went silent. Knots turned and retied themselves in her stomach. "st-s-s-st-s.." The words wouldn't come out. But Anna knew what Elsa was trying to say. 'I'll save her the trouble.'

Elsa's heart was pounding like a cinder block banging her chest and a boxer hitting her head. A knife was cutting open her stomach, spilling its contents all over her insides, the acid eating away everything leaving only agony. She was trying to speak but her tongue had been cut off, leaving only one syllable mumbles in its wake. 'It's back, and I can't even tell Anna. It won't let me.' Elsa struggled with the word for what seemed like an eternity, an eternity of false hope and crushing emptiness at failing the one thing she wanted to do right now. Tell her sister. Then, Anna's voice created a spot of light, illuminating Elsa's surroundings, bringing her a new hope.

"Stutter." Her sister's voice was soft and non judgmental. 'Yes. Yes. Yes!' Elsa raised her head to look at Anna. The red head's eyes were glistening with baby tears melting their way out. The teal of her irises was pronounced this close. Elsa simply nodded, not wanting to fight the battle of talking just yet. Her heart was calming down, but she was still lost. 'If only I could tell you the real problem.' Of course it felt like a lead weight lifted off her shoulders for Elsa to have told Anna bout her stutter, but there was a bigger problem. One she knew Anna would never forgive her for. The one her father hated her for. The reason she is a misfit, a failure. And not being able to tell anyone was slowly sinking her raft, drowning her in water made of a thousand ice cold knives. "How long?" Anna's voice was, as always, gentle.

A deep breath calmed Elsa slightly, she saw lights on her eyelids as she tightly closed her eyes, racking her brain for the first memory of her stutter. There was no first, it was all jumbled. She prepared for an up hill struggle to talk. "A-as l-l-long as I c-c-can r-rememb-er. B-b-but n-no-n-now it o-only h-h-happens w-w-when I-I." Elsa had to stop to collect herself. 'You can do this, you can do this.' "A-am s-s-scared or n-ner-nervous."

"May I ask a couple questions?" Anna's voice was thin and careful, like she was walking on fragile ice, cracks forming under her feet. "You can just nod or shake your head if you like." Elsa looked at Anna and nodded her head slowly, heart pounding in fear of the judgments Anna would soon be spouting at her. 'Why are you so dumb? That's a dumb reason to lock someone out.' Elsa's heart dropped. "Is that why you rarely talk with people?" 'Partially.' Elsa slowly nodded her head, insides caught in a winter storm. "Is," Anna choked down a lump in her throat, "Is that why you locked me out?" The question sent a spear through Elsa's heart, smashing into mush. She choked on her own sorrow, once again grabbing at nothing in the storm. 'No.' Elsa nodded her head yes. Terror filling the emptiness that was her heart, the older girl looked up at her sister, expecting a snarling face of hate. What she got was the opposite.

Anna was smiling, a smile that tamed the winds of Elsa's mind, giving room to breath. Tears flowed from the red head's eyes, not of sadness or remorse, but of happiness. Elsa was confused, how could she be happy about this? "Y-your'e not m-m-mad-d?"

Looking Elsa in the eyes sincerely, Anna replied by embracing her sister in a tight hug, melting Elsa's spine and warming her heart to a working temperature. Anna breathed into Elsa's ear, "of course not, I'm proud of you for opening up. I'm happy because I'm that much closer to you. I told you, I could never hate you, Elsa, I love you, and I wouldn't trade you for any other sister." Anna paused to let the words sink in. They did make Elsa feel better, but another part of her felt worse. She had lied by omission, she was letting Anna believe she had told the whole truth. Elsa knew she would have to be alone forever in her secret, in what she was. But at least Anna had forgiven her for all the times Elsa had pushed her away. All those terrible times that Elsa destroyed a part of her soul so Anna wouldn't have to see it. All those times that put together, had emptied Elsa of anything but loneliness. "I'll always be here for you." Anna's whisper licked Elsa's ear, giving her goosebumps around her neck. 'Oh, Anna, if only you knew the worst part.'

Anna quickly pulled away from their embrace, alarm strewn across her face. She yelled out "What!? What worse part!?" 'I said that out loud!? How dumb can I be!? I am a degenerate, good for nothing waste of space, my father is right.' Panic was overtaking Elsa, her hands were sweaty, her breathing became rapid and uneven. A hand was tightening around her heart, constricting it while her temples throbbed and stomach churned in every which way. Before she knew it, Elsa was at her door, tearing it open and sprinting down the hall. The door slammed open in her room, leaving a dent in the drywall. Heart working on overtime, Elsa swung into the upstairs bathroom and locked the door. 'What have I done now?' She took a moment to try to calm her panic, but it didn't work. She couldn't breathe, cotton was plugging her airway. Elsa sank down, back against the door and hugged her legs. The tile floor was cold, sending shivers up and down the platinum blonde.

A knock at the door echoed in her ears. "Open up, Elsa, it's okay, you can tell me!" Anna's pleading voice only tore Elsa's heart apart more. She tightened her eyes closed and pressed her face against her knees hard, tears streaming from her face.

Her words were raspy and came out a little too harshly, "G-go away, A-A-Anna."

Alone in the cold darkness, the platinum blonde hugged herself, slowly choking on her own sorrow. No hope was left, no one could help, Elsa was alone, and she knew she would be forever. The void slowly took over.