Deidara stared blankly at the paper in front of him. This writing business was getting old now. Especially when he couldn't think of what should come next.

Yeah he knew that Itachi should break off the kiss and go report to Pein, but that didn't feel like it flowed right. Plus he didn't think it would be good to reveal too much information about the Akatsuki. And of course it has to be based on real life, the artist thought bitterly.

He had been 'working' on this for the past three hours. Enough time for Sasori to finish his puppet. Enough time for Kisame to individually sharpen all one thousand or so points of his sword. Enough time for Zetsu to wake up. Enough time for Tobi to find his way back from that forest Hidan had 'lost' him in, and enough time for Hidan and Kakuzu to get in a screaming match about a necessary Jashin purchase.

Deidara ignored the yelling and maledictions that were so strong it caused the plants Zetsu had outside to wilt. Unfortunately this was part of life in the Akatsuki. Not that he was complaining. Itachi had been right, life here was better than it had been on the streets.

Which lead him back around to his current problem: trying to write Itachi into a halfway believable story. Deidara acknowledged that he knew almost nothing about the Uchiha. Added to that was the fact he was always right about everything. The blonde had watched him give advice to Zestu about growing tomatoes! He couldn't write about somebody like that. Characters were supposed to have flaws, fears, doubts, and problems!

Uchiha Itachi had none that were known by anyone, not even Kisame. Well, except for the fact he had murdered his entire family, but it had crossed Deidara's mind a couple times too, so he had no room to talk.

There was only one thing that could be done to remedy this unfortunate situation: follow Itachi around until he discovered a weakness.

Deidara wasn't stupid. He knew better than to anger someone with the sharingan in such an obvious way. He would have to come up with a master plan for this to work and not get killed.

And that was how he found himself sitting under a desk in the library monitoring the progress of his newest artitstic creation. Why was he under the desk? Because if Kakuzu caught him doing anything but writing for the next week they would find little pieces of his body buried in six different countries, that's why.

His artistic creation was having much better luck, thankfully. The little clay spider had followed Itachi around without being detected for about an hour now. Which is some kind of record, Deidara thought smugly.

The jutsu linking the two of them together was working out rather well also. It wasn't quite as informative as he would have preferred, but it effectively tracked all of the Uchiha's movements.

Speaking of which, it was moving closer and…THEY WERE COMING IN!

The scent of almonds invaded Deidara's senses and he realized she was coming in with him! Excitement fled through his veins driven by the small fear of being discovered. Perhaps his story wasn't as wild as the others had thought after all. He smirked.

"Pein wanted to discuss this with you himself, but something came up," Konan stated quietly. Itachi shut the door behind them. "Planning the raid on Wave has turned out to be harder than we thought."

There was a grunt in response. Deidara wished he could see them. But perhaps that was a good thing. He held his chakra in a tight grip, because if he let it slip he would lose his life.

"Have you discovered where the shipments are coming from?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Good. Pein will have a special team suited for the task chosen by tomorrow. You might want to prepare in case you are chosen."

"Aa."

Deidara's spider finally fit itself under the door and crawled slowly over toward Itachi. Well, tried too. Konan was in the way. So it did the obvious thing; it crawled over her.

There was a sharp feminine scream. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

"Calm down," Itachi ordered.

Deidara stuck his head around the desk like a guilty child. The sight he saw was hilarious. Konan was clutching her cloak to her, jumping up and down like a pogo stick. The spider was on her shoulder and she just stared at it, yelling like a banshee.

Itachi managed to brush it off, and the woman leaped to the ceiling yelling, "KILL IT! KILL IT!" When Itachi made no move to do so, she walked over and grabbed the heaviest book she could lay her hands on. The artist watched in horror as it descended toward his masterpiece.

With shinobi quickness he had dived under the book and retrieved his spider. Itachi had grabbed both the book and Konan. Aww, how sweet, he thought. Then he apologized and fled the room quickly.

He knew he would face punishment for this later. Maybe he could talk Kakuzu into getting him off easy, since he was doing research for the book.

Deidara walked around the hideout three times before daring to go back inside.

He had finally decided he would have to do the unthinkable. He would have to ask his sister for help. Not only was it humiliating, it was forbidden. Pein allowed no contact with outsiders to prevent espionage. Plus he was sure his father had erased her memory, which would be a hassle, but he had no other choice.

He sat down at the desk and preformed the accursed hand seals.

He had designed it so that he would enter her subconscious. He loved her enough not to put her through what realizing he was alive would mean. It also had a purely selfish nature. She would dream out the story plot and he wouldn't have to deal with it.

Deidara grabbed a pen and started writing.

A/N: Sorry, it's a little short, but at least it's an update, right? I hope the next one will be longer. Who do you think his sister is? :) Reviews please!