sail

{part 2}

by victorynike


This is how an angel dies

Blame it on my own sick pride

Blame it on my A-D-D baby


"One more question," he promised quietly, turning away from her for a moment before asking it. "What's my name?"

He locked eyes with her again. She stared.

"I don't know."


He blinked. His face fell, his eyes disappointed. He swallowed and looked away.

"Okay." he said softly.

Lily didn't understand why, but she felt like she should apologize. Who was he, and why did it hurt him so much that she didn't know him? Should she know him?

Why did she feel so horrible for filling those eyes with pain?

But she didn't know, and the urge to sleep was overpowering. She succumbed.


The cruel blade slit her pale skin, leaving a trail of pain like fire across her forearm. Dark blood fell from the wounds, staining the ground. Lily screamed. The woman laughed. The blade etched the word, scarred it into her skin, the word that had ruined everything and begun everything all at once.

Mudblood.


"Miss Evans."

Someone was shaking her gently. She sat up suddenly, breathing heavily. Just a dream. Just a dream.

"Professor Dumbledore!" she cried.

"Its nice to see you awake, Lily." Dumbledore said, inclining his head. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you," Lily said, a little shakily. Professor Dumbledore would tell her what was wrong. Professor Dumbledore would tell her why she was in the Hospital Wing.

"Do you know why you are here, Lily?" Dumbledore asked, fixing her with his blue gaze.

"No, sir." Lily fought to keep the edge out of her voice. She hated this, feeling lost and confused.

"I take it you do not have any recollection whatsoever of the events of last Saturday." Professor Dumbledore continued.

She sighed. "I don't know what happened, sir."

"I have also been informed that you have no memory of Mr. Potter here, either." Professor Dumbledore indicated the hazel-eyed boy.

Merlin, did he ever leave?

The boy-Potter- gave her a wry smile. Her breath caught involuntarily.

"No, sir." Lily confirmed, averting the boy's eyes.

"However, your memory seems to be intact in all other respects, correct?" Dumbledore asked, looking at Lily intently.

"Yes, sir." Lily said, growing impatient. "Now...er, would you please tell me what supposedly happened last week?"

Professor Dumbledore sighed. "Ms. Evans, yourself and Mr. Potter were attacked near Hogsmeade by a group of Death Eaters led by Bellatrix Lestrange. We believe you are suffering from a poorly-performed but intact memory charm performed that night."

"Bellatrix Lestrange…"

Images raced through Lily's mind.

A maniacal laugh. Crazed, dark, merciless eyes. A moonless night. A short, silver knife.

Mudblood.

A sudden, unbearable pain seared across her left forearm.

She seized her left sleeve and pulled it up.

Etched cruelly into her skin, set permanently in scars, was the word, still covered with her dried blood.

Mudblood.

"No." she said unreasonably. "NO!"

It would be there forever, a constant reminder of who she was and all she wasn't. She would never leave the pain the word brought behind. She could never rid herself of Bellatrix's mark.

She threw the bedcovers off and rose. She stumbled, but righted herself clumsily and broke into a run.

She heard people calling after her, but she didn't know, didn't care. She turned toward Madam Pomfrey's office and wrenched open the faucet. She shoved her arm beneath the flowing water and scrubbed and scrubbed. The wounds reopened, the bubbles turned red.

Mudblood.

No.

"Stun her!" someone yelled, and then there was darkness.


"She still doesn't remember you?" a new voice, another male's.

"No. She doesn't." Potter replied tiredly.

"That's rough, Prongs."

Potter sighed softly. "Padfoot, when she saw the scars she lost it."

"Who wouldn't?"

"Yeah. It's just-what'll happen when she finds out what else happened?"

"I don't know."


She awoke wearily. The Hospital Wing was dark. She reached for the lamp on the table, her arm unexpectedly heavy. She noted the tight bandaging on her left forearm.

One thing was for sure. She wasn't getting any answers in the Hospital Wing. Maybe someone in Gryffindor Tower could tell her what had actually happened. She reached automatically across the bedside table, feeling for her wand. It wasn't there. She slid open the drawer, searched the floor. Had they taken it?

"Where are you going, Evans?"

Lily froze. It was the Potter boy, of course, sitting in an armchair beside her bed, dark circles beneath his eyes.

"I'm leaving." She glared at him, daring him to stop her. "And so should you. I've never seen you leave...why is that?"

Who was this messy haired idiot who stayed beside her day and night? Why did she feel like she should know him when she didn't? And what had happened last Saturday in Hogsmeade?

"Evans if you don't lie down Pomfrey'll skin me alive." he commented mildly, running a hand through his hair, making it stand even more on end.

"Where's my wand?" she demanded.

"Dumbledore took it. What do you expect? Yesterday you scratched your arm open and-"

"Oh, so he thinks I'm unstable?" Lily retorted, her temper flaring.

"Well seeing as you were planning to escape from the hospital wing in a dressing gown with parts of your memory missing and no wand, you're not exactly proving otherwise, are you?" Potter said, though not unkindly.

Lily felt angry color rise to her cheeks.

"Look, Evans…" he sighed. "Please stay here, okay? Wait until your arm heals. You'll get your answers, I promise."

He looked incredibly tired himself, like he hadn't slept properly in days.

"Fine."

Lily sat down on her bed and leaned back against her pillows, staring at the ceiling.

After a few moments, he spoke.

"You don't remember anything about me at all?"

"No." She didn't. Why did he keep asking her that?

More silence. Lily felt herself dozing again.

"Once, we started a brawl in Greenhouse Four with the Slytherins, d'you remember that?" How was it that he could speak so softly and still fill the entire room with his voice?

"Vaguely…" She recalled dueling shadows silhouetted against the greenish light filtering through the greenhouse roof, her own laughter adding to the din.

Potter continued. "I was carrying a tray full of Bubtober Pus and I must have tripped or something...somehow I ended up dumping the entire tray on Mulciber's head."

"Wish I remembered that," Lily replied, feeling herself smile as she imagined Potter "accidentally" dumping Bubtober Pus on Mulciber's fat head.

"Then he pulls out his wand to hex me, right? But before he can, you chuck a Snargaluff Pod at him..."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But then he ducks, and the Snargaluff Pod hits Crabbe instead…"

Lily started laughing.

"...And it all just escalated from there." he finished.

"Wow. I really wish I remembered that." Lily said sleepily but genuinely.

Another silence, though a contented one.

"Why are you always here?" she asked finally, closing her eyes drowsily. Merlin had they given her sleep potion or something?

But she was asleep before she heard his answer.


Author's Note: Your reviews and feedback are always appreciated. Nearly the entire story has been pre-written and will be posted every Sunday, although reviews may prompt me to post earlier. :)

Thank you for your time.

Yours,

VictoryNike

7/27/2014