Welcome to Chapter two of "Deck the Strahl: A FFXII Holiday Special". This fic is still rated T for cursing. A few notes before we begin: First of all I'm taking stuff from a lot of different sources that I don't own. These include the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special, South Park, Charlie Brown Christmas, The Grinch who Stole Christmas, and Spinal Tap. I also do not own FFXII or its characters. This is supposed to be insane and is for entertainment purposes only. Characters should not be expected to be in character whatsoever. I hope you enjoy it, and please review! It's polite!

Deck the Strahl: A FFXII Holiday Special

Chapter 2

If the singing hadn't given Basch a headache, the overwhelming scent of cinnamon and nutmeg would have been enough. He had been given the tedious job of tying little red bows on the Christmas tree, while everyone else was bustling around the Strahl, getting ready for the Christmas party that Ashe had insisted on throwing the next night. Basch couldn't imagine who a princess in hiding, two orphans, a viera, a wanted sky pirate, and a supposedly dead knight would even invite to a Christmas shindig aboard the Strahl, but he'd seen Ashe send Nono out with a huge stack of invitations hours before. Even after Balthier's attempt to explain the big deal about Christmas to him, Basch was at a loss. Now was no time to be putting off their quest to help Ashe regain the throne, or to be advertising their whereabouts to a bunch of people just so Ashe could have a party.

"What did I say about Christmas spirit captain?"

Basch rolled his eyes at Balthier, who had entered the room with a bowl of ghastly looking red punch.

"I know, I know," he grumbled, "I'm trying."

Balthier smirked, "If you don't stop being a grump Santa Claus won't bring you any presents tonight."

Basch sighed, "What are you going on about now Balthier?"

Balthier stared at him in horror, "You…you don't know about Santa Claus?"

Basch stared at him blankly.

"Where the hell have you been Captain?" the pirate asked in shock, "Don't you know anything?"

"We'll I've been presumed dead and in prison for some time and before that I had a life," said Basch, crossing his arms.

Balthier rolled his eyes, "Are you saying I don't have a life?"

A smirk crossed the captain's lips, "I think your pie is burning Balthier."

"It's not a pie it's a pear tart," Balthier said smugly, but his expression fell when he too smelled something burning, "Goddamnit Basch," he cursed under his breath as he stalked away.

Basch couldn't help but smile.

Basch soon found that defeating a pack of wild malboros single handedly was an easier task than getting two orphans to bed on Christmas Eve. After enduring another one of Balthier's "Christmas stories" (this one was some strange and unlikely tale about a flying red-nosed chocobo who was shunned by normal chocobos and finally got attention by some Christmas guy by finding his way through a fog…or something like that anyway.) Ashe had announced that everyone should get to bed early since they had such a big day ahead of them. There was a lot of whining from Vaan and Penelo, who were finally herded off to bed and…creepily enough…tucked in by Fran and Balthier as if they were the children's parents instead of a sky pirate and his partner.

Upon his return to the Strahl's main room Balthier passed out mugs of eggnog to the "adults" which Basch found to be tasty, but quite stout. He was sure the pirate had probably tripled the amount of alcohol that the recipe called for. They sat up for an hour or so, listening to Ashe's insane party preparations and Balthier's strict "Christmas schedule" which required them to be up at six A.M. They piled the gifts they had bought under the tree, and Basch was grateful that Ashe had pretty much picked out all the gifts he had bought, so he knew the others would probably like them. It was past eleven when they headed off to bed.

It was nearly two hours later when Basch awoke to muffled sounds coming from the main room of the Strahl. He grabbed his golden axe from his bedside table and made his way down the hall, expecting to find some fiend aboard the ship. Sure enough, something was creeping around the Christmas tree. Whatever it was, it was a bright red color, with bits of white, and was carrying a large bag. Without hesitation he pounced, bringing the large creature to the ground.

"Take that you foul beast!" he cried as he got a left hook in on the creature's jaw.

"Basch! What the fuck are you doing?"

Basch's head snapped up in the direction of Balthier's voice, who was standing over him with a horrified look on his face, helping the red creature up from the floor, "You attacked Santa?"

Basch looked up, confused, only to notice that the "fiend" was not so much a fiend as an elderly gentleman with a white beard.

"I am SO sorry Mr. Claus," the pirate begged frantically, "You have to excuse Basch, he's new to Christmas."

The man, who now looked jolly and harmless, laughed a deep laugh, "Oh I'm aware that the captain is Christmas literate, now if you two will give me a hand unloading all your presents I'd much appreciate it."

Basch apologized to the old man, whom Balthier kept staring at as if he were standing in front of all the gods at once instead of just some old man, but he just shook his head and laughed again before leaving.

"I can't believe you attacked Santa!" Balthier said accusingly after the old man had left, "It'd serve you right if you got a lump of coal tomorrow!"

Basch shrugged, "You people are all crazy, this holiday is messed up."

"Hey! Don't talk bad about Christmas!"

"You do realize you're acting like a child right?" Basch asked with a raised eyebrow, "And are you seriously wearing pajamas with little snowmen on them?"

Balthier looked down at his pants and crossed his arms over his bare chest, "At least I'm in the spirit of things!" he grumbled before marching back to his room and slamming the door.

To be continued…

Hope you enjoyed! Merry Christmas!