Wii! Chapter two! Thank you for the reviews! I didn't expect it to be so popular! If you want to ask Alucard something, just email him at: don't own Hellsing or Google. I wonder why…

To Jay FicLover: Way to go, pal! You cracked the two first ones, but did you recognize the last one? If not, keep working on it!

To Wolf eyes555: Wii! You cracked the last one!


Dear Alucard,

Are you "interested" in Seras or Integra? If neither, do you know what the definition of "yaoi" means? Mwa ha ha.

Denekrad

Dear Denekrad,

Interested? You mean as in 'interested'? No. And I never will be. Eww… The definition of 'yaoi'? Since you're asking, I can look it up for you! Police Girl showed me this really cool site where you can look up things. It's called 'Google'. You really should try it! Well then… I'll just type in the word 'yaoi' in the little square and press the search-button! 5 070 000 hits! I'll take the first on! It says 'Yaoi hentai. For boys only'. Sounds good. Clicky clicky… Eww…. Eww… EWW! YOU HUMANS ARE GROSS!

Dear Alucard,

Do vampires ever need to use the toilet? What does vampirish pee look like? Does it look like blood or normal pee? And does your hellhound form ever need to go potty? Is Sir Integra forced to pick up your puppy mess and put it out for trash whenever your hellhound form has a poo in a public sidewalk? Does Walter ever take your cutey little doggie form for a walk whenever it gets restless? Let me know if he doesn't, I'll tell the animal rights campaigners!

(wink wink)

– Jay FicLover

Dear Jay FicLover,

-Well, duuh! Of course we use the toilet! Even though we are dead, our bodies need to 'empty' itself sometimes. If you really REALLY need to know the whole process, go to your nearest library and look up 'Vampire digesting system'. I'm sure you'll find something nice in there!

- Vampirish pee is just plain red. Like blood. But don't be fooled if somebody gave you some pee to drink and says that it is blood! Always sniff the liquid before drinking it! Or else someone can be laughing his guts out right now.

- Doggie me always needs to go potty! Especially after naps and meals. And when it happens, it happens. Either it is on the carpet in masters bedroom or on a public sidewalk. It's mostly Walter who picks up after me, if it's not in masters bedroom in the middle of the night. Guess who picks up after me then?giggle giggle

- It happens. Sometimes. Not so often, actually. When I think about it, he hasn't taken me out this year. Not ONE TIME! Yeah, you tell the animal rights campaigners that! Make sure they punish him well!

Dear Alucard,

Who are you? And what do you want? Where do you live? Where are you sitting at this very moment? Where do you think we are? Why do we live and die? Where is God? Where am I?

-Little me

Dear confused,

Please don't make me confused too! I am trying to make sense here!

Dear Alucard,

I am obsessed with books! I really can't live without them! The longest time I've been without a book near me is five minutes. I read all the time, when I'm not in class. I read before I go to sleep, at breakfast, before and after classes, at the bathroom, EVERYWHERE AL THE TIME! Please help me!

Hellkitty

Dear Hellkitty,

Maybe you should try to shoot one of your books! It always helps when you really need to kill some stupid thing, like habits… and ghouls… If you come by my basement someday, I'll lend you Joshua! But just for one shot, okay? I don't like to be without him a long time. Like that time when master took him away because I shot the armour suits in the hallway… But I'll tell you about that some other day!

Dear Alucard,

My cousin 'Pants' and I don't agree on which on of our dads have the coolest Super-Soya-contest wig! He says that his dad, 'Veggie', have the best wig, and that my dad, 'Geeko's' wig sucks! Tell me, Alucard, what shall I do to convince him that my dad's wig is the best?

I really need you help!

-Geeko Jr.

Dear Geeko Jr.,

Why don't you fight over it? Fighting is the best solution to solve this kind of matter! Send me a message when you are finished!


That's all for today! I'll update as soon as I can! If you want to ask Alu-chan anything, just email him at