A/N: (TRIGGER WARNING) Sry guys, I really need to go to bed. ME NEEDS SLEEPPPP.

Thanks for all the reviews , favs and follows! I will edit tmr morning...


His fingers shook, lips tightly pressed together.

He is furious and he feels like punching something. Anything to relieve the simmering rage underneath his skin.

As his fist comes down on the mirror hanging on the wall in the bathroom, cracks distorting his reflection and blood running through it like it used to in veins, he realised with a sickening pain that his heart seems to weigh heavier than ever, a cold stone in his chest.

"What," His voice harsh and low, "Were you thinking, hm?"

He whirls around, his breathing ragged.

"Or were you not thinking at all?"

Iemitsu shot him a stern look. "Tsuna," The blond walks forward, steps faltering when brown eyes gave a venomous glare. "This-"

Tsuna snarled.

"Shut up. SHUT. UP."

The brunet barked a derisive laugh at the silence that followed. "Oh? Finally, someone listens?"

His hand fall to his side, pieces of glass falls like crystals as it caught the light.

"I don't want to hear any excuses."

Reborn jumped on the sink and flick his fedora, eyes hard as coal. Tsuna stared dully.

"Tsuna," The brunet wants to burst into hysterical laughter at the soft tone. "The rest has made their decision and will go to the fight. Will you watch them battle for something they will lose even before it start?"

"I forfeit."

Reborn shook his head. "Even so, the mafia never leave loose ends. The moment they accepted the ring, they are involved."

"But no one would have known," He hissed, a red haze of anger settling over his mind, "Unless some piece of shit decides to announce it!" His finger shook as Tsuna points it at the blond, "YOU."

"Tsuna, don't take that tone-"

Enraged, the brunet let out a high pitched scream, sending the two reeling and the rest of the occupants in the house clambering towards the kitchen.

Bewildered, Iemitsu quickly left the bathroom and out of the kitchen to do control damage.

The bathroom sinks into silent, an unreadable look on Reborn's face.

"W-What's happening dear?"

"Oh, don't worry Nana," Iemitsu's boisterous laugh floats across the house, "Tsuna just throwing a tantrum."

Tantrum?

"O-Oh-"

"Why don't you take the kids out for shopping, dear?"

His mother seems to hesitate before replying. "Alright…" Her voice turned slightly cheerful. "I'll see you later, honey."

"Yeah, I'll be waiting, my lovely Nana~"

So that's what it is?

Is he throwing a tantrum?

Live.

Live? And deal with all these?

Tantrum? He'll show that what a tantrum is.

Ripping the mirror off the wall, he smashed it against his wrist where the words were inked, small shards embedded in his skin from sheer force, marring the words with blood trickling all over.

Live

He lets out a soft laugh and smashes it against his wrist.

Again.

And again.

And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

"Tsuna! Stop! PLEASE!" The brunet struggled violently against the arms hooking him from behind, his breath harsh.

"AArGh-" He snarled and thrashed, arms flailing in an attempt to drive the mirror into the word and carve it out of his skin and-

He hates it.

HE HATES IT.

HE NEVER WANTS TO SEE IT.

HE'S GOING TO RIP IT OUT.

"ARGNGHARHHH!LETMEGOARH-"

A gunshot resounds loudly, bouncing off the walls while the bullet shot the mirror out of the teen's hand.

"NONONONONONO-"

Please.

Please.

As if the strings were cut, he slumped against his father, head lowered.

A tear slid down.

Another.

And another.

"All I wanted," He rasped out, "Was to live in peace…"

So why?


Feelings, he thinks wryly, is a massive bastard.

No matter how hard he tries to shake it off, it clings o him, dragging him down and into painful conflicts in his mind.

Why is the world painted in shades of grey?

Why do his enemies always have a sad background?

Be it the bully who pushes him around in school, only for Tsuna to see the boy's father doing the same to the boy right in front of the school gates.

Or Xanxus, this fierce, towering man fighting with him to a life and death battle for this position, only for Tsuna to see a man doing it to prove his own worth to his adoptive father. A father, who, though, deeply cared for his adoptive son, went the wrong way of expressing it and never really thought about the consequences his actions could cause for Xanxus.

He heaved a sigh and let his world tilt, ignoring the startled shouts around him, his gaze slowly falls from the inky sky to Xanxus lying motionless beside him, body covered with faded scars from years ago.

Bonds, who needs them?

Even family, a place supposed to be out safe haven, is very often where we find our deepest heartache.

So, who needs them?

(Though there are times when the sun dipped below the horizon and the stars are scattered across the black velvet night, a tiny part of Tsuna wish that he didn't have to.)


There are days whee he can still remember how it was to be alright. Other days, he just felt…broken.

Like something deep within had sprung loose and might never be repaired again.

The pain comes crashing in waves, pulling him under and feeling like he will drown.

Still, the sun keeps rising and his battered heart goes on beating.

He eyed his wrist peppered with scars, breaking the word into lines that not quite connect.

Tsuna sighed and stretches lightly, his eyes softening at the peaceful scene outside his window.

A gentle breeze. Leaves rustling along to create a melody and occasional chirps to fill in the high notes.

Perhaps a walk outside would shake off the melancholy.


"Ah, Tsuna, are you going out?"

He stiffened, his hand hovering above the keys before it let it dropped to his side.

"Maybe…Why?"

For a moment, Tsuna saw the corner of her lips twitch down and her eyes seem to gain an unnatural shine until it was gone the next in a blink.

"Oh…Mama wanted to ask if you like to go shopping for dinner with me…"

Tsuna eyes the silent kids scattered around the woman.

Reborn jumped on the shoe cabinet.

"Well, a man should protect their family. Mama was pickpocketed yesterday. Since you weren't at home during dinner, you'd missed that piece of information."

Ah, there it is. The guilt tripping.

The brunet shook his head. "Yeah, where is Father when we need him most, hm?"

If possible, the silence in the room became more oppressive and sharp.

Two can play the game.

"A-Ah, mah, you know papa is busy, Tsuna."

"Yeah," The hitman sounded odd though it was gone the next. "Since Iemitsu is busy, you are supposed to protect Mama, Dame-Tsuna."

The brunet gave a self-depreciating laugh at the watery smile on Nana's face and the hitman's reaction. Ignoring the pain in his heart and the agonizing inability to breathe, he meets the Hitman's gaze, ignoring Nana's flinch at the back.

"I'm a Dame. What makes you think I can protect anyone? Let's not raise your expectation before you fall into disappointment."

He turns-

And he runs.

(He run with the hope of outrunning the pain, the sadness and overwhelming despair.)