Chapter 2
Eragon was in his tent in the Varden camp, sitting on a beanbag and listening to his Emo music. (He didn't use magic to play music. He had a CD player. Don't question it.)
Arya pushed the flaps of the tent aside and walked in. She gave Eragon a contemptuous look, "Eragon, you idiot. Classical opera isn't Emo music."
Eragon gave Arya a tear filled look, "Arya, I love yooou!"
Outside of the tent Durza and Galbatorix crouched with their ears pressed against the fabric of the tent, listening in.
Durza looked over at Galbatorix, "Wow, Eragon is all over Arya. Its kind of sad."
Galbatorix stifled a giggle, the sound of which Eragon heard.
"Arya, can you hear voices?!" Eragon squealed
Arya shook her head, "Oh God, he's hearing voices. That's it, into your box," She said, bustling Eragon into a cardboard box
Saphira poked her head in through the tent flap Of all the riders I get stuck with, I get stuck with the one that has social problems, the dragon huffed.
Outside of the Varden camp a terrible battle raged between the Empire's soldiers and the rebels.
The tide of the battle was turning in the rebels favour, as the Empire's soldiers were only armed with pens and pencils. This was because Galbatorix had heard somewhere 'The pen is mightier than the sword' and had misinterpreted it.
Murtagh was riding atop his red dragon Thorn, swooping low above the Varden and breathing fire.
Some of the soldiers noticed Murtagh pointing south, then heard him shouting over the din of battle, "PICKLES IS COMING!"
And all of the Empire's forces ran away.
That night, the leaders of the Varden held a feast in Nasuada's command tent to celebrate their victory.
As the night wore on, everyone became more and more drunk on mead. Eventually Orik leaped on top of the table and began to belly dance, which made Eragon want to kill him self more than usual as he watched the dwarves hairy belly jiggle and bounce.
Orik's performance was abruptly interrupted when Galbatorix burst in through the door. He demanded where the Varden had hidden his tutu and then slipped on a banana peel, which somewhat ruined his dramatic entrance.
Galbatorix then saw Orik's hairy stomach, and promptly fled.
At that moment Roran and all of the villagers made their sudden entrance, drinking bottles of vinegar as though it were mead.
"What's up party people!" Roran cried
As everyone danced and enjoyed themselves, Orrin sat hunched in a corner looking at them all with disgust.
"They do not know that their doom approaches," he muttered
"Oh, shut up you miserable old bastard!" Nasuada cried as she danced past.
As the Varden partied, Galbatorix and co. fled back to Uru'baen to come up with a new plan.
Note from the author:
I turned into a purple singing Dinosaur the other day, and began to educate children about stuff. It was later found out that I wasn't actually a real Dinosaur, and was just in a suit. I was sued for fraud and now I can't be a Dinosaur anymore.
...Just thought you all should know. 3
