Chapter 2: Everything goes wrong already

Disclaimer: If I owned either series I'd still have no idea what to put here once I run out of jokes.


After a very uncomfortable introduction, filled with the most obvious lies possible, Ruby and Yang were taken to the headmaster's office.

"See! We're going to the headmaster's office after mysteriously appearing and showing amazing abilities only heard of in legends! That just screams 'main character', right? I told you my plan was awesome." Ruby whispered.

"Ruby, Ozpin is going to see through those fake names in ten seconds and then suspect us of being villains. We'll be in a fight with half of Remnant before we know it." Yang blinked as she realized what she just said. "Huh. I actually don't have any problems with that. A fight's always nice."

"Aww, but I want to be an awesome action heroine and carry a hundred different weapons and fight the Grimm all like 'hiya! Wa-cha!"

Ruby's impromptu karate session caused her to accidentally knock down the door leading to Ozpin's office.

"Oops! Sorry about that, I didn't mean to-!" She tried to apologize before Ozpin raised a hand to silence her.

"It's no problem, the door can be replaced. But if you want to make up for it, you can start by telling me who you two are and what you were doing in my academy's forest."

Yang quickly stepped in before Ruby could do something that would make this go wrong.

"Sure, my name's... Xang... Yaoi-long. And this is my sister Yuri Raws. We were... travelling until our plane was attacked by a Nevermore! Yes, that! That's what happened! We fell down and I got stuck in a tree."

Ruby snorted. "Before Ruby messes up the backstory, eh?" She whispered.

"Shut it, 'Yuri'. I'd like to see you come up with something better." Yang playfully threw back.

"You do know that we can hear you, right? You just mentioned that you made everything up on the spot, so I'd like you to tell me again. And this time, I'd like you to tell me the truth."

"Well if you really want to know, we're Goddesses from a different world and we came here because this is all a work of fiction and I want to be the main character." Ruby admitted.

Ozpin sighed. "Well, if you won't even try to be subtle about your lies, then I have no choice but to assume that you are a danger to this academy and its students. Until you feel like telling me the truth, I can't put any of my students in danger by letting you roam free."

Raven had a better idea. "Well, we can just see if whatever's in here will show us what's really going on!"

It was then that Yang realized that she wasn't wearing the backpack filled with share crystals anymore.

Because Raven was holding it and was emptying its contents all over the floor.

Qrow raised an eyebrow. "Unless they plan on destroying Beacon by selling us tacky jewelry I don't see how a bunch of gems would make them dangerous people. I mean, these aren't even dust crystals!"

"It doesn't matter. Their appearance here is still incredibly suspicious, not to mention that I have never seen any gem such as these. Until I know for certain that they aren't harmful I will have to keep the two of you in custody."

Yang didn't like where Ozpin was going, but the only other option was to transform and fly off. And that would make it even harder for them to be trusted.

Ruby had other concerns however.

"Hey, give those back! I need them to get tall enough to go on all the cool rides in dischneeland!"

"Oh? So these are not just your average gemstones, then?" Ozpin immediately picked up.

Yang stared at her sister wide-eyed. "You seriously used HDD for that?! Oh, whatever! Ruby! Grab as many as you can and fly out, now!"

"I can't exactly get bigger anymore without it! Not growing old sucks when you keep looking like a kid!"

Despite her complaints, Ruby moved to grab the bag and stuff as many of the share crystals in it as she could, dodging team STRQ using her semblance in the process.

Ozpin got up from his chair and made to assist team STRQ in their capture of the two, but before he could do anything a blinding light emanated from the girls.

When it died down the two were gone, rushing over to the broken window, the vague shapes vanished in the distance. Ozpin picked up one of the few crystals they had left on the ground. This would require his personal involvement. But first, he needed to find out what these were and where they came from.


With the Nep detective agency.


"You know, I've been thinking. We have two Uzume's and one Neptune, so shouldn't we be the Uzume Detective agency?"

"Nah, that'd be really weird. I mean our series is called NEPtunia! Well, that and my contract says every group I'm in gets a Nep in its name."

Kurome briefly wondered why she was the sanest member of this group despite being a former psychopath.

She also wondered why they were still in this world, despite it being obvious that Ruby and Yang weren't here.

The fact that this entire world was only inhabited by a bunch of Nora Valkyries made that pretty obvious.

Even the Faunus were Nora, even the Grimm were just a bunch of Nora's in masks.

"All right! Now all we gotta do is find a place to eat until Crostie's powers recharge and then we'll go back to finding those lost kids!" Big Nep said.

"I'm pretty sure at least Yang is older than you." Kurome deadpanned.

Entering the local 'Nora Noodles', the group took their well-deserved break.

"All right, so I'm pretty sure that the next world will be the one we need! Maybe." Big Nep promised.

"You said that last time. And the time before that. And that one time in the world were Blake wore an eyepatch and kept jumping into cardboard boxes." Kurome complained.

"That one was pretty cool. I learned a lot of cool fighting moves from Big Blake!" Uzume would remember the legendary mistress of stealth forever. Even though it got all kinds of confusing when Solid Blake and Liquid Blake showed up.

It was also kind of weird that they were in a world full of Nora's but none of them got a speaking role.

She just hoped the next one would either be a normal one or the one they needed. Or both.

It wasn't.

The fact that they were sitting around a large table with Ozpin, Salem, Adam, Cinder and team RWBY cemented that.

Apparently, 'Remnant' was a popular tabletop game in this world. Croire was still too weak to make portals one after the other, so they'd have to spend some time in each world they visited from now on.

"I hope you've prepared yourself, fools! No mere mortal can win against my hordes of Grimm!"

Apparently, Salem was really into this roleplaying thing. Who would have guessed.

Neptune and Uzume fit right in. Kurome still found it rather weird to be on the other side of a group of monsters that wanted to destroy humanity, but she had to give it her all.

The alternative was another 're-education' session with Iris Heart and Ebony heart. She still had nightmares about the first one.

At least this was just a board game, it couldn't go too bad... could it?

Apparently either the universe or the author had something against her, because it could.

Somehow, Uzume had gotten drunk, despite there not being any alcohol.

In her drunk state, she forgot that this Salem was roleplaying the part of villain.

Which was why she and Big Nep were chasing Orange Heart, who was chasing Salem.

"You meanie! Uzume's totally gonna beat you up so you'll never be able to send those bad doggies after anyone ever again!"

"Would it help if I point out that they're mostly based on wolves? And that Beowolves are only one of the many different Grimm?" Salem asked.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't care in this state!" Dark Orange yelled as she very uncharacteristically tried to save people from getting assaulted. By the 'good' version of herself no less. That sounded even weirder when she thought about it.

She managed to grab her counterpart, but she wouldn't be able to hold her for long.

Big Nep knew that too, so she acted. "Sorry Crostie, but we really need to get her out of here right now!"

Tackling the two CPU's through the portal she made, she had only one regret.

"Crap, I forgot to ask if they had pudiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggg-!" She yelled, tears in her eyes, as they fell into another dimension.

"Man, those were some weird people." Ruby said. Everyone agreed with her.


Let's move on to Neptune. The small one.


It had been two days since the incident. Neptune had locked herself in her room after realizing that she couldn't exactly follow Ruby and Yang without a way to travel to other dimensions.

So she made plans. Not even being OOC would stop her from protecting her main character status.

The tv was still playing replays of Roman Torchwick's 'arrest'. Which was just the cops throwing him and Neo into a cell while they were still too beaten to move.

Even though she had seen it several times by now, if there was one thing Neptune would never give up a chance to do, it was eating pudding. But she also liked being lazy and not working, so she took a break from making her plan.

Said plan was only a single sentence long. Said sentence was 'Bring Iris Heart with me'.

Disregarding that, Neptune hopped off her chair and into the couch. Time to watch Torchlick get his ass whooped again!

"TorchWICK!" A faint voice rang from the distance.

Two days ago

"Ha! This keeps getting easier! I might have hit a civilian or two by accident, but that's the danger of not paying attention. It's their own fault, really."

Neo kept silent as usual, but her smirk made clear that she was enjoying this just as much.

Their smirks vanished when two strange men appeared. One wearing a white judo outfit, and the other wearing a grey suit.

The one in the judo outfit held out a game console to them. "You must play the Nepga Venus!" He said.

"Go sell your stupid toys somewhere else, can't you see I'm busy?! Shoo them off, Neo." Roman rolled his eyes, this place was full of idiots.

Apparently, that wasn't the answer the man wanted. He deflected Neo's attack, grabbed her, and threw her behind them with a magnificent judo throw. Neo exploded on impact. Twice.

"S-segata Sanshiro..." Not even she could stay silent after experiencing that.

"That's rad." The other man said. Before suddenly comprehending the other man's fighting style completely.

As the grey-suited man approached Roman, he tried desperately to save himself.

"H-hey, I was just kidding! That console looks great! I'll take five! ...You're not going to fall for that, aren't you?"

It didn't help him much, as the other man performed the exact same throw on him.

Roman exploded once. Then a QTE popped up and made him explode a second time as well.

"D-dragon of dojima..." He realized he'd been destroyed by the two greatest fighters of Seg- Planeptune.

Back in the present

"Hah! That never gets old! Maybe I should learn to do that too?" Neptune wondered as she finished her pudding.

"Neptune! I have found the world were Ruby and Yang are!" Histoire barged into the room.

Neptune fell out of the couch with a very embarrassing landing.

How did Histy even get the door open? Neptune was sure she'd blocked it completely! With those giant boxes full of... pudding cups. The ones she ate in the first five minutes of locking herself in.

Oh man, she'd eaten her own barricade! If any of the other discovered this they'd never stop laughing at her!

Luckily for her, Histoire didn't seem to notice. "Neptune! You must go to work and gather more shares so I can open a portal to Ruby and Yang! We cannot let them remain stranded in an unfamiliar world!"

That was it! It was at least better than Neptune's first plan, which was to throw herself into TWO portals!

"Great idea Histy! If I save Ruby and Yang, then they won't be having an adventure anymore! And then I will be the main character once again!"

"Well, that is not exactly what I expected, but at least you are motivated. Then let's go to work so we can get them back home!" Histoire was surprised, Neptune was not normally this eager to do anything but eat pudding and play games...

"Nope! There's no need to work MY bum off! I've got a better idea! Send your portal mumbo-jumbo over to mini-Histy! I'm going to do this one for real!"

When Neptune ran off, Histoire realized that this was going to be one of those horrible fanfics again.

Neptune, meanwhile, had reached the Ultradimension in record time. She'd been off-screen for just long enough to reach the Basilicom without having to transform.

"Plutie! It's an emergen- oompf!" Neptune was cut short by a blonde, child-sized missile burying itself in her stomach.

"NEPTUNA!" Peashy hugged her best friend/punching bag.

"Plutia wake up! The other Histoire called me to let you know that Neptune will be- oh, you already arrived."

All of the commotion managed to rouse Plutia from her sleep. That, or the fact that Peashy had jumped on top of her.

"Oooowwie! What's going oooon?" The Secretly Sadistic Sleepyhead asked.

"Plutie! I need you to molest reality and open a portal to wherever mini-Histy says!" Neptune explained.

"Silly Neppy, I can't do thaaaat! You can't molest concepts, I tried that a loooooong time ago!"

"Aww, I was sure this would work! Wait... Did you say something about having tried before?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Plutia answered with a smile that struck fear into everyone there.

Neptune shuddered as she cleared all thoughts of Plutia messing with space-time from her head.

She needed something else. Something that could safely get her there. Rei? Nah, she'd probably end up dropping her from the sky again. The other Neptune? That could work! At least, it would if she was in any of the three connected dimensions.

A metal disk hitting her in the back of the head cut off her thoughts.

"Aww, you have to catch the frisbee Neptuna!" Peashy complained.

Looking at the cause of the giant bump on her head, Neptune realized the ol' main character luck was still as good as ever.

A shiny metal disk labelled 'MAGES. Inc. portable interdimensional portal generator and pizza heater'.

"Sweet, I've been looking for something to heat my pizza ever since Nep Jr. ran off with half the oven for robot parts!"

That was the final nail for Histoire. "NEPTUNE! Aren't you supposed to go save Ruby and Yang?!"

"Aww, Fiiiiine! Set the coordi-whatevers and open the portal mini-Histy! I'll get them back in a flash!"

"Pea wants to go too!" "Yaaayyy, we're going to save our friends!" The other two were excited at least.

The three of them went through, what crazy adventure will be waiting for them? Find out next time on Nep ball V!


So, here's the next chapter! I'll be switching around the length of the parts depending on who has the most important role in the chapter

There aren't any reviews i can really answer to, but thanks for all the positive reviews regardless!