Elliot thought Jo was a tough partner to have. Seeing Olivia for the first time in the soaking rain in an over-sized NYPD jacket didn't do her beauty justice. He almost gasped audibly when he saw her in the precinct the next day. He held his composure though, already seeing Cassidy making googly eyes at her.
"Morning." She said in passing, flashing a Mona Lisa smile his way. Elliot grinned, discreetly eyeing her backside as he made his way to his desk.
"Mornin'." If only Elliot knew from then on he'd be cheesing for almost 12 years straight.
He'd had been worried about freezing on the job after his return but he hadn't expected to on his way into the precinct. There, at the front of the squadroom was the most beautiful picture of Olivia hanging that he'd ever seen. It actually captured how beautiful she really was.
In that moment it was just him and Olivia. He wanted it to last forever, not dragging her image up by memory.
"Elliot." He was shocked to see Alexandra standing beside him, her eyes uncharacteristically watery.
"A-Alex."
They stood in the clearing for long after Alex's escort drove off, stunned. Numb. Drowning in a sea of truth that only they could know. Elliot frowned, tired of seeing and hearing Olivia cry. Ever since Alex's "death" she'd been crying.
Olivia was light headed, angry, and tired. She was their longgest running D.A. She was their close friend. She had to give up her life and there was nothing they could do to protect her. He noticed when she swayed a little on her feet and he caught her, crushing her to him in an embrace he'd wanted long before this moment.
He jumped when Olivia began to wail. Shriek. Sob. All these feelings she'd kept wrapped up in a neat little box for the 5 years they'd worked together spilled out. He followed her shaking form to the ground and just held her there, held her as she let it all out.
"I'm glad you're here." She said after a long moment, her voice wavering. Elliot tried to smile but failed, his gaze going back to the picture of Olivia.
"Stabler." He turned to see Fin and Munch standing there, their faces saying a thousand differnt words.
"Elliot. Come." It was Cragen's uncharacteristically soft voice that prompted his legs to work. He dashed inbetween his coworkers, his head spinning. A chill went down his spine as he stood in the familiar office. Memories washed over him in a wave.
"You're a sight for sore eyes." Cragen said warmly. His voice tugged at Elliot's chest.
"Captain," He shuddered, gasping when the older man embraced him. It was then he knew what it would've felt like if his dad had ever hugged him. He closed his eyes and just felt his feelings for once, almost feeling better after.
"You've been missed. Are you..." Cragen finished with a look that Elliot knew.
"Yeah. I am." He answered, looking around the room for something to take his attention. Cragen nodded
"Good, cause we've been behind. Other boroughs lent us help but cases have been suffering because of it." Elliot nodded gravely.
"Understood." He answered. Cragen nodded.
"I have two detective's brought on-"
"Captain!" Elliot interrupted vehemently.
"Sorry, you've gotta listen." He asserted. "Losing Olivia was like losing three great detectives. You know it. I know it." It felt like a scapel scraping fresh stitches to hear her name again in the past tense.
"Yeah, I..." The words left Elliot before he could recapture them.
"We have to give them a chance." Elliot shook his head.
"Cycle them out with Fin and Munch. Don't do this to me-"
"Elliot. It's decided."
"Cap-"
"Elliot." Cragen slammed his hand on his desk, the stress of the past few weeks finally boiling over. "This job isn't about what we want to do. It's about the victims, just because you had your way for 12 damn years-" Elliot turned and whisked away from Cragen, pausing at the door.
"This is bull-" He cut himself off before whipping through the door and right into a short blonde, the files and folders in her hands flying everywhere. He groaned, wondering if coming back a mistake.
"Ah, I'm sorry-"
"No." Elliot grunted. "My fault." He bent down to start picking up the paperwork.
"Oh gosh, you're... Detective Stabler." He looked up at her with weary blue eyes.
"Yeah." He answered stiffly, standing and handing the folders to her. She smiled brightly at him and held out her free hand.
"I'm detective Rollins, Atlanta sex crimes. It's, It's an honor-" She paused when she noticed Elliot was smiling without smiling, if that was even possible. He chuckled bitterly.
"You... I'm..." He rushed around her quickly when he saw a young latino man in a clean suit unloading his things on a desk. Elliot bristled, feeling overstimulated in the squad room.
Cragen appeared, looking a bit cross. "If anyone would like to get some work done? We've got a call." Everyone exchanged looks while Elliot shrugged on his jacket.
"No way, Stabler. Rollins, Fin. You guys get to the hospital and talk to our vic. Munch, Amaro, you will be heading to meet CSU at the hotel, our crime scene. You-" Cragen pointed at Elliot. "Here."
Everyone awkwardly shuffled around Elliot to their things. He reluctantly headed over to Cragen who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. "I can't have Olivia's desk here as a shrine anymore. It hurts too much. We left it for you. Take care of her things." Elliot looked at the dreaded empty spot.
Elliot grabbed the knife and the tube from Fin, his hands trembling. "Olivia, I can-" She shh'd and tried to smile.
"You can do this. You. Can do. Anything." She grabbed his hand, the grasp slipping a little bit because of the blood. "I love you-"
He looked Cragen in his eyes. "Screw you." Was all he said before walking out the door.
"You want me to what?" Fin said over the phone. Amanda watched him carefully as his brow furrowed.
"I can't. Her things... I just can't." Fin sighed, not much keener on strolling through the painful memories either.
"I don't want to directly disobey Cragen right now. He's been having a rough time too, Elliot." Elliot nodded although he couldn't see.
"Look. I know that we all are. I just, I can't be with her things. I need to be talking to victims, helping put their assailants away." Fin rolled his eyes.
"Then Rollins stays." Elliot huffed audibly. He was about two minutes away from the hospital.
"Fine. I'll be there in a minute." He hung up and glared out his windshield. Amanda chewed her lip.
"Everything alright?" She asked after a while, and Fin had to laugh.
"No. Not really. But it's not you and Nick's fault." He tried to smile at the young Atlanta native. "Listen, Stabler and his partner... Most people don't last in our unit for two years. They were partners for 12... Some marriages don't last that long. He's going through it right now."
Amanda nodded knowingly. "I can't even imagine. We study her case work down there, I always thought I'd get to meet her." Fin smiled sadly.
"I wish you could've. Here," He grabbed her phone and entered his number in it. "If Stabler gives you too much trouble..." Amanda accepted her phone back.
"Thanks, Odafin. I will." Elliot pulled up not long after Fin walked off.
"Thanks for waiting..." He grumbled. "Rankins?" Amanda laughed half-heartedly.
"Rollins."
"Right." He looked down at Amanda, remembering one of the first cases he ever worked with Olivia.
He sat across from Olivia and watched her push her food around on her plate in the diner. He knew the "there's no crying in baseball'" comment bothered her and in hindsight he wished he'd chosen better words. It made him feel protective of her, knowing her own birth was the consequence of a rape.
"Look," he started after a long beat of silence. "I know how you're feeling about this case." Olivia snorted.
"I'm sorry, but you really don't." She answered, looking up from her hash browns. Elliot exhaled sharply.
"Caught a case a few weeks before you got here. Six year old raped and sodomized with objects so badly she was in the hospital in a medically induced coma." Olivia laid her fork down, catching his blue eyes.
"So, we investigate. We found the bastard, went to jail previously for 6 years for child molestation. We get him in court. I'm with our victim's family every step of the way. And somehow he just... He got off." Olivia sighed.
"How?" Elliot shook his head.
"I don't even know. I should've noticed when her dad... Her dad didn't show up in court to hear the verdict. She had died that morning. Came after the not guilty verdict and shot our perp up."
Olivia looked at her lap. "You had to arrest him."
"Yeah, and I tell you I wanted to give him a medal." Olivia fell quiet, her appetite suddenly gone. "We don't get to pick our victims. Or our perps." Their eyes locked again.
"Is that what you would you would do?" He froze, his mouth hanging open. "If someone hurt your children?" She chewed on her lip apprehensively, knowing she may not like his answer. He placed his fork down and pulled his wallet out.
"C'mon. Let's get out of here."
