A/N Today's Song:
She Don't Use Jelly, Flaming Lips. (She don't use butter, she don't use cheese, she don't use jelly or any of these. She uses Vaseline.)
The next morning, I was woke up to sunlight drifting through the window. I noticed that Sophie was curled up on me, so I just left her there. It couldn't of been eight in the morning, when the alarm was set, but the smallest of light will wake me up. I noticed Columbia was still not in the room, she must of still with Janet.
I got dressed, and brought a change of clothes into Colette's room. "Wake up!" She woke up, and jerked the covers back up, over her breasts. I looked her up and down. "My god." I rolled the desk chair into the bathroom. "Sit." She nodded. "Now."
"I'm naked." I glared at her, and she pointed to her robe. I threw it at her, and ran back into Columbia's room. I got my big bag of beauty products, and ran into the bathroom.
"Ew..." I cleaned off all of the skin on her face, probably removing a few layers. "Now..." I got my eyebrow wax, scissors and tweezers. "This'll only hurt a bit." I did her eyebrows, and plucked a few loose hairs around her hairline. I trimmed her nose hair, and took the ring out. I fixed her eyelashes, I waxed her upper lip, and stepped back to marvel at my finished work. I scrubbed a few more layers off, finally putting a mask on.
"I can't feel my face." I washed my hands off, and started to take more things out of my bag.
"Shh!" She laughed, as I let her hair down. I wet it, and combed through it. I died it black again, and then I absolutely soaked it in conditioner, the heavy duty kind. I set an egg timer for ten minutes. It rang, scaring us both. I scrubbed her face off, leaving a new, glowing face and neck. I undid her hair, and washed all of the conditioner out. I brushed it down, and turned her towards me. I put a towel over her shoulders, and started to cut her hair. I finally got it even at her shoulders, and pinned it away. I did her makeup, I paled out all of her features, and made her lips bright red, and a dusting of purple on her eyes. I stood her up, smiling, and helped her into her clothes. A button up white skirt, a black vest, and black pleated pants. I put a black fedora on her head, and I smiled. "You're perfect." She really was, I envy her.
She looked over in the mirror, and she squeaked. I looked at my watch. "It's only about seven." I looked up at her, and put my arm down.
"Alright then." I got my computer, and sat down on her bed. "Here's some apartment listings that I found. Look through them." She nodded, and I sat down on the bed with her. She finally decided for a cheaper one. A pretty good sized kitchen, she had dropped out of culinary school, one bed, one bath, a common room, with a fire place even. I pulled up some websites that shipped clothes directly from Transylvania and told her to assemble ten outfits. She nodded. I approved of six of the outfits, getting her about twenty more. "Now. I have a list of jobs you can get..." I doodled some possible careers for her stationary. "Good luck. I'll come back either tonight or tomorrow morning. Early." I smiled, and walked back into Columbia's room.
She was still with Janet. How sweet. Columbia might have bad memories, of what happened to me, of what can't be redone. How if I moved, the babies would to, and it felt as if they were slowly ripping another layer of my organs off. How if someone they didn't like spoke to them, they twisted around, causing me to go white. How if I even spoke sometimes, it felt like they were going to puncture something. Which, in fact, they did. Why Riff wouldn't come for the birth of Scarlet, because he couldn't loose her. Ironic. He never tried to kill Columbia.
I walked into the bathroom, and fixed myself a little. I walked out, and found Sophie on my laptop. "I'm sorry, I was looking for property deals."
"Really? Did you find anything?" I sat down on the cream colored blanket. The way it looked, it wasn't naturally cream colored.
"Well, it depends on some variables." I squinted at the tiny print she had the screen set to.
"Like what?"
"If Collie will give me up, how long you will be staying, how long all of us will be staying, if we will be renting or buying the house, how many bed, bath, or if you want something more along an apartment." She looked up at me expectantly. I had no idea.
"Well, I'm hoping that both of us will stay with her for a while, but only renting the house. Most likely, we will have you, Patricia, Pacifica, Columbia and I, oh, and my dog. So two or three bed, hopefully two bath, but no apartment." She nodded, scrolling through some things.
"Price range?" She hummed a little to herself, and I smiled.
"Anything." I wrapped my arm around her.
"We have about five offers fitting that... And here they are. They each have there own perks, like a few have swimming pools, this one has two walk-in closets, this one is right on the beach." I raised my eyebrows. That one with the pool looked nice...
I sighed. "Which would you like to live in?"
"What do you mean?" I rubbed her tiny little arm.
"Well, it's obvious that you don't have that much freedom." I laughed, and she looked at me like I was mad. "You were given to Columbia."
"True..." She looked down, and blushed. "I like this one." She clicked on the link, and my internet box was blinking horribly. It was the one with the pool, spa, and one walk-in closet.
I looked at the address. It was within walking distance of the one Collette bought. "This looks nice. We'll have to clear it with Columbia though."
"That's fine. She'll probably allow it." But her stomach growled.
"Are you hungry?" She nodded slowly, almost embarrassed.
"A little." She looked down. And I knew it. I knew how to get her trust, all of a sudden.
"Sophie, have you ever been to France?" She shook her head. "Well, do you want to?"
"Yes! They are the food capitol of the world." Among other things, but I went along with it, to spare her little mind.
"Oui." I smiled at her.
I had left Columbia a note taped to the wall, saying that Sophie and I went to Paris for a while. "Are we ready to go?"
"Are you ready to eat snails?" I laughed.
"Sure..." She looked terrified now.
"Then yes!" I dragged her to the shower.
We stepped in, and I could tell she was nervous. "How does this work?"
I put my finger to my lips. "Once you start feeling tingly, don't speak." I pressed the buttons, and we dissolved and she looked at the pixels in her wasting away, like Columbia did her first time.
We arrived, and it was about midday, just like I had planned I stopped the nearest person. "Excuse moi, mais ou est la fete?"
"Oui." The lady pointed us on our way. I had set it to the perfect date, the day of a large feast.
"What did you say?" She was holding my dress, unconsciously.
"I said excuse me, but where is the feast?" She nodded.
"What feast?" I giggled like a schoolgirl.
"Look at your clothes." She gasped, as she realized she was dressed in clothes from the eighteen hundreds. That is one of the best tricks I think it can pull off. It can change your clothes to update to the time period.
"Where are we?" I rolled my eyes, scooting her down the Champs-Elysees.
"I told you, Paris." She laughed.
"No I mean whe-" But I had whisked her away, to the countless tables, that were being set up, by the river. I had always forgot what this feast was for, but it was an interesting location to go to, if you're bored. I believe it was for the construction of the Eiffel tower. Or giving America the Statue of Liberty. I'm not good with history.
We had went over and sampled some of the foods, truffles, cheeses, walnuts, chestnuts, crepes, and all kinds of fruit tarts. "Do you like?"
"Of course!" She finished with her small serving. "So that thing can take you anywhere you want?"
I shrugged. "Yeah. I guess."
"What about the Burmuda Triangle?" I narrowed my eyes, not being able to figure out why someone would possibly want to go there.
"If it's real." She giggled.
"Well, I've always wanted to go to the Louvre." She pointed over to it, and I smiled. It was very nice, I could see why she wanted to go.
"Well, that could work. But, let's head back. I'm sure Columbia would love to see it too." I laughed, at her contagious giggling.
"Okay!" We made it back to the motel we came from, and went back to New Zealand. I heard a familiar laugh...
A little to familiar... "Janet?"
I stepped out of the bathroom, and saw her standing by the bed. "And you had the nerve to go without us."
I hugged her. "Where's Collie?"
"She went out to smoke." She straightened her shirt.
I laughed. "She's going to kill herself."
"That's not true. I smoke, drink, watch television! And I'm healthy." I poked her in the stomach.
"That's water weight." Sophie looked up at her.
"Well what's your name? You look like me when I was younger." I knew Sophie regretted her comment, because she tightened her grip on my hand, and backed away.
"Sophie. I assume you are Janet?" I smirked.
Janet stood up straighter at this. "Yes. It is nice to meet you."
"Where is your baby, Sonny did they say?" Janet was very spooked that Sophie was so formal.
"Yes... His name is Sonny. Columbia has him." I stepped forward.
"Wait, she's smoking, and she has your baby? Who was born this morning?" She grinned.
"No, he was born yesterday. And she's not exactly smoking." Janet walked over and opened the door.
Columbia was standing, with the twins, Stiletto, and I think it was Sonny, but I was to busy swooping the twins up. I took the to the bed. They were eleven months now, so they most likely, will have a birthday on Earth. "Hey." I snuggled them each. "How are you guys! It's been so long..."
"It's been two days..." I shook my head, and I could feel a trail of muddy tears start to run down my cheeks.
"No. Riffy wouldn't allow me to see them for about a week before. I had Nattie keep care of them, because I think he wanted them dead." They looked up at me, and Ciffa reached towards my face. I laughed, and she moved her hand towards my mouth. This made Collie laugh, and they started crying.
"What the hell! No babies like me! How am I going to have kids?" She plunked down into a chair, and put her hands into her short pink hair.
We all laughed. "You did."
"But if I keep this one, and I laugh, they will cry." I shrugged.
"Okay, well maybe, since it's your egg-" Janet looked in her bag as something started beeping. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I have to get back."
Columbia and I stood up. "To where?"
"I'm going back to Denton." She hugged us both tightly.
"And putting Sonny on someone's doorstep?" I laughed, and sat down.
"That's a good idea, maybe." My jaw dropped. "I love you all, and Sonny does too." She scooped him up, and walked into the bathroom. As she and her bags started to dissolve she shouted something. "Sonny isn't Alston's baby... It's Fra-"
But she was cut short when she finished dissolving. "Did she say it was Franks baby?"
"I - I think so. But, Sophie found us a house." I pulled out my computer, and showed her.
"Oh, it's right here in Hamilton. Cool. We'll need to make the highest bid... No problem, right?" I ran my fingers through my hair.
"Not at all. Pack your bags..." I walked and put my one folded shirt into my bag, and my makeup that I helped Colette with.
"Yay!" She started running around packing. All I put my computer in my bag, and I was done. "What's wrong?"
"I miss my Riffy." I hugged a pillow. It wasn't as skinny and bony as he was. It was fat.
"Oh honey, I know." She kissed my forehead. I saw the look on her face, and that means she had an idea. "Do you still recall the faithful night we crossed the Rio Grande?"
"What?" I looked up at her, and then at the stain my mascara had left on 'Riffy'.
She grinned. "I can see it in your eyes, how proud you were to fight for freedom in this land." I realized what she was doing.
"No! Come on!" I put my finger over her lips, but she backed away.
She started singing. "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando."
I groaned, and Sophie laughed. "They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando."
"You know ABBA?" I looked at Sophie, she nodded, and she and Columbia sang together. They got up and danced too.
"Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret." I hit my head against the pillow. Repeatedly.
"If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando." I sang the last line, and they were awestruck.
"Good job Genta, I'll stop now." I looked at her. "Okay, no I won't." She hummed it, and I threw the pillow at her, and went to do something with my hair, which had proofed up again.
I brushed my hair, got it halfway flat, and walked out. I was amazed at the sight. It was completely clean and packed, even though I was only in there for two minutes. "Is that your tick?"
"Yes. I'm half Asexual." I smirked.
"Nice. How..." She looked annoyed, because I had made a circle with my left hand, and stuck my pointer finger put and my right, and I was starting to-
"My mother was raped here on Earth." Columbia laughed at my gesture.
"Ahh. So are we ready?" She nodded.
Columbia stood up. "Just something to clear up..."
"What?" I stressed the 'a', because she had the habit of annoying people with questions.
"How is this going to work. Will I be your wife again, and this our adopted daughter?" I thought for a moment, my eyes wandering. She would be a good wife... She was for the month we were married.
Sophie's voice dropped. "You two were married?"
"Yes... She scared me into giving birth saying that the divorce wasn't final." I laughed, and wrapped my arms around her neck.
"And you were a surrogate, right?" Columbia nodded.
"Yep. For one of my closest friends." Sophie grinned.
"That's nice." My head tilted a little, and I walked back over to my bags, goosing Columbia, and making her giggle, on the way.
"Well, lets get on the road, Fernando." They laughed, and we went downstairs, checked out, and headed into the parking lot. "Mortal." The short man getting into his car turned to us. I leaned down to his ear, grabbing his neck so he wouldn't move, and I sang the tune. "This is our car." He nodded, handing us the keys, and walking away.
"You've got to teach me how to do that!" I laughed, jingling the keys.
