Thank you for all the feedback, I appreciate it so much, makes the writing process more enjoyable. I'll probably update a few times a week, as often as I can. This chapter is longer, so I hope you enjoy. Get ready for a secret revealed from Addison next chapter...Thanks for reading.

-GGG

Meredith's eyes fluttered open.

He kissed me.

The thought floated into her mind automatically, as if it has been lingering there all night. She could feel the weight of her body sinking into her bed, as if she was now one with it.

She should've gone straight home. She should've just called Cristina from home. She should've crawled into bed with a bottle of tequila and a pint of ice cream.

Wait. No.

She furrowed her eyebrows, and shook her head. No. He shouldn't have kissed her. He was married. He pulled her into the closet. God, how was she going to face Addison now? Would he avoid her? It had been a mistake. She made a mistake. A terrible mistake. Then why didn't it feel terrible? Why did it feel like everything had finally fallen back into place?

She got out of bed, and pulled on a sweater and her favorite pair of jeans. She looked at herself in her long mirror. She looked exhausted. She tried pulling her hair back, but just left it down. It hid the marks left by her pager she had left on her pillow.

She trudged downstairs, happy to see already brewed coffee in the pot. She poured herself some, and held the mug to her chest after taking a few sips. George and Izzie were already seated at the kitchen table.

"Uh, Meredith? You alright?" George said hesitantly, exchanging a glance with Izzie across the table. Meredith was leaning on the counter, her eyes resting closed.

"Yeah. Just a rough night."

"Were you on call last night?" Izzie asked.

"Uh, no, I just went in for a little and it got crazy. I need to shower."

She went back upstairs.

"She's lying," Izzie said quietly to George.

"How do you know?"

"She just said she needs to shower, she's already dressed. I know she wasn't on call last night. Something's up."

The elevator opened. A collection of nurses and doctors got off, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts.

He had always been able to control his impulses. He had always been able to think things through before e did them. Marriage. Specializing in Neurosurgery. Coming to Seattle. He had thought it all through. But not with Meredith. It was something about her, something made him crazy, made him act without thinking. He hadn't even thought about kissing her, he had just done it. It was an instinct. And suddenly, when he was kissing her, everything was clear and simple. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

The elevator opened. And there were all Bailey's interns. Derek stood up straighter. George, Izzie, Alex, and Cristina stepped into the elevator. Meredith froze. Her heart sunk. He had kissed her.

She hesitantly stepped into the elevator. She stood next to him. The silence in the elevator was suffocating. Izzie and George exchanged a look. Cristina, looked from Meredith to Derek, and raised her eyebrows.

The elevator doors opened. Bailey was standing with her arms crossed.

"It's about time. O'Malley, you're in the pit, Stevens and Yang, to the clinic. And Yang, I don't wanna hear anything. Karev, you're with me. Grey, you're on neuro. Now move!" Izzie and Cristina started off to the clinic, Cristina already complaint about being away from cardio. Alex followed Dr. Bailey, struggling to keep up with her fast pace.

And Meredith was left standing in the elevator. Next to him. They started moving up, to the ICU.

Derek broke the silence, turning to her.

"Look, Meredith-"

"How about we just not talk about it, okay?"

"I don't want to not talk about it."

She turned to face him.

"Well then what exactly do you want? Do you want a divorce? Do you want a mistress? Is that what you want? Because I thought I made myself pretty clear that I wasn't going to do that. And then you're everywhere, and I-" she hesitated.

"What?"

"Nothing."

The elevator seemed like it was taking forever.

"I kissed you and you ran away. Can we talk about this, please?"

"No, we cannot talk about this!" She shouted. She gestured to the two of them. He sighed.

"Jane Morison, age 27, suffers from grand mall seizures in the-"

"What?"

"Well, you said we can't talk about us, so I was just going to fill you in on our patient."

Meredith laughed.

"Oh, this is going to be a great day."

The elevator doors opened, and Meredith followed Derek down the hall.

The patient's room was dark, only a single lamp and the light from the machines were on.

Meredith looked down at a small woman, with an eye mask on, laying flat on her back on the fully reclined bed.

"Jane Morison, age 27, suffers from grand mall seizures when exposed to light. In for an exploratory craniotomy to determine the cause of the sensitivity." Derek's voice was soft, only loud enough for Meredith to hear.

"Ms. Morison, do you have any questions about today's surgery?"

The woman gently pulled down her eye mask, but kept her eyes closed.

"Only one. How fast can you make it so I could go outside for once?" Jane's voice was high but demanding. Derek chuckled.

"Your surgery is scheduled for 3. Dr. Grey is going to prep you for surgery."

Derek stepped out of the room, but not before whispering in Meredith's ear: "I'll see you in the OR."

Meredith took a second look at Jane's chart.

"Oh my god, I can barely breathe!"

Meredith's eyes widened.

"Mrs. Morison? Are you having trouble breathing?" She hurried across the room to get the oxygen mask.

"Cool you jets. I was talking hypothetically." Meredith stopped, and turned around to face her patient again.

"Excuse me?" Meredith raised her eyebrows. Jane sat back and pulled the eye mask back over her eyes.

"The tension in this room is excruciating. Lover's quarrel?" Meredith was surprised at the bluntness of her patient.

"Um, I'm not sure I understand," she mustered.

Jane sighed frustratedly.

"You and Dr. Hottie! Are you fighting?" Jane sat up slowly, and grasped Meredith's arm.

"Are you pregnant?" Meredith smiled.

"Mrs. Morison, I'm afraid my personal life can't be of your concern. I'm Jay's here to prep you for surgery."

Meredith started to record and double check her CT's with the nurse's notes.

"Oh, come on! I haven't been able to go to the beach, watch television, read, date in 8 months. Just think, I might did in surgery, and the last excitement I could enjoy would be counting down from ten while they put me under. Give a little!"

Meredith laughed softly. What could it hurt?

She turned, to look around to make sure no one was observing them. She sat softly on the bed.

"Well, Dr. Shepherd, who will be performing your surgery is married."

Jane bolted up to a seated position, removing her eye mask.

"No! Married?"

Meredith nodded.

"Married. And we had a bit of a fling before I knew. About his wife."

Jane hugged her knees to her chest, like a schoolgirl at a sleepover, hearing the latest gossip.

"So you're fight about how he didn't tell you about his wife?"

Meredith sighed.

"Well, we did. And then we tried to be friends. And then, it's just- complicated, and then he kissed me-"

"He kissed you? When?"

"Last night."

"Oh, suddenly I'm pissed I won't be awake for this surgery. Tell me, are there countless heavy glances, stolen kisses?"

Meredith stood up.

"I'm afraid that's all I can tell you for now. I really do have to prep you now."

The interns had gathered for lunch in the tunnels, all except Alex, who was stuck in surgery with Bailey.

"Cristina, do you have any idea how much one of those thermometer sanitizers costs? You can be taking your temperature to amuse the other residents to see if you can be admitted."

Cristina took a bite of her sandwhich.

"Oh, give me a break. If I could be decannulating a heart instead of playing preschool Doctor, I would."

Meredith was sitting next to Cristina on the bed, but she wasn't eating. She was anxiously twisting her fingers in her hands.

Cristina noticed her friend's lack of a lunch.

"Hey, what's up with you? Did you kiss McDreamy in an elevator or something?"

Meredith's head turned to face Cristina quickly.

"What? Who told you?"

Cristina and Izzie, mouths open, exchanged a look, and turned back to Meredith.

"I was kidding!" Cristina laughed at the irony. Who would've known she would guess exactly what was wrong?

"You kissed McDreamy in an elevator?" Izzie said in hushed tones.

Meredith sighed, hiding her face with her hands.

"It wasn't an elevator, it was a supply closet. And I didn't kiss him, he kissed me."

"But you two kissed? Just kissed, in a closet?" Cristina shook her head in disbelief.

"You can't tell me that's as far as it went."

Meredith picked her head up from her hands.

"That is as far as it went! Because he's married!"

"Why- is he getting a divorce?" Izzie questioned.

"I don't know, I don't know what any of it means. And of course, of course I'm on his service."

Izzie took a bite of her salad.

"Well, all I know is that after what he has pulled in elevators before I wouldn't be suprised-"

Meredith swatted Izzie's leg.

"Would you both stop it! This is serious!"

Cristina and Izzie sat up starlight we on the bed, releasing a chorus of "oh yes of course very serious".

Meredith's pager beeped. Shepherd. To Jane's room.

"I've gotta go." She started running down the hallway.

"Thanks for your help!" She said sarcastically, as she continued on her way.

Izzie and Cristina kept eating.

"She's so screwed."

"So screwed."

Meredith approached Jane's room, but the bed was empty.

"Dr. Grey, she's been taken into OR 7." A nurse said.

Meredith hurried to the Operating floor.

She flew through the door, and saw that Derek had already begun. She quickly scrubbed in.

"What happened?" She cried her hands on a towel handed to her.

"She started losing motor control, the tumor was encroaching on that area, but I never thought it would get this bad this fast."

Meredith stepped up to the magnifying microscope. She watched Derek maneuver around the delicate veins carefully. It felt like the rest of the world had frozen, and in that moment it was just them.

Maybe it had been an hour. Maybe it had been ten. She couldn't tell. It was peaceful. Everyone once in a while he would ask for a tool, for a clamp, for a towel for himself.

But finally, he had done it. She watched his debunk the tumor carefully, painstakingly removing every part. When the last of the mass had been removed, she looked up over the microscope at him. He broke his own focus, and met her gaze. It said everything. One look. Nothing else existed for a second, for a second it was just them. Alone. Together.

She was almost finished scrubbing when he entered the scrub room. He pulled his mask down from over his mouth. He turned on the faucet, choosing the one closest to hers. Once he had finished scrubbing, once they had both finished, he paused. She stood, slowly drying the last of the water off her hands. He leaned against the sink. She did the same. They said nothing.

And almost like a magnetic force, his hands were on her jawline, around her neck, pulling her lips up to his own. Her hands reached up, to the back of head, untying his scrub cap. He wrapped an arm strongly around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. God, he couldn't get enough of her. It was like every time they kissed, he got a fresh breath of air, like he had told her. And then when they weren't, when he was left with only thoughts of her, the air ran lower and lower. He had run out now. He needed her. All the time, he couldn't breathe. He could sleep, not next to Addison, not alone. She was the last thing in his mind before he fell asleep, the first when he awoke.

She placed a firm hand on his chest, then reached behind her to remove his hands from her waist.

They both gasped. She placed a hand over her mouth, touching her lips, over her forehead. It was all too much. She couldn't think straight, she couldn't breathe. Her mind was racing, her heart was racing, she was pacing a round the room. She froze, and then burst out of the scrub room.

"Meredith,-"

And she was gone.