This is the Chapter 19 mature version of my K-T Women and Children First story.


Jane stumbled over a jumble of thoughts as he held Lisbon tight to him and began sinking into sleep.

First, that had all happened incredibly fast. He'd be a bit embarrassed if not for how incredibly responsive Lisbon had been and how obviously satisfied she was now in his arms. Second, and this one he said out loud, whispering it in Lisbon's ear the moment he thought of it: "No one died today."

He hadn't even realized how much he had dreaded another woman and child being murdered until that moment, and coming on the heels of the sexual release he just experienced, Jane hadn't felt this good since he couldn't remember when.

But then he remembered Lorelei, the photos of her pale and bloated face, the bloodied scars, and his part in it. And then Lisbon was stirring in his arms and he vowed to stop thinking again and just be in this wonderful moment. Then he started tripping over Lisbon's uneasiness, the rising tension in her body, and he whispered: "Don't regret this, Lisbon."

"I don't," she whispered back, relaxing slightly.

He kissed her below her ear and was moving more kisses down her neck when she startled, her whole body jerking to attention.

"The door is unlocked," she said.

"So," he said, kissing her shoulder.

"So," she said, sitting up. "I told the guys to come and get me if something happened." She got up and went to the door and locked it.

When she came back, Jane appreciated the sight of her, the nakedness of her. She stood at the bed looking at him and he instantly realized she was assessing the situation from the point of view of the team. What would they think if they had knocked and entered, never assuming what had just happened? She eyed her clothes on the floor and Jane reached out and took a hold of her forearm, making her look at him.

"Something happened," he said. "But it's just between us." She looked a little panicked, like a bird ready to take flight. He pulled her in. "Come here," he whispered.

Lisbon sat on the bed.

"You need to sleep too," he said. He hooked her with his arm and pulled her over to him—there was hardly anything to her-he really didn't know how she tackled big, beefy thugs.

"I need to stay focused," she said sliding down into his arms.

"Sleep helps that. Just text Cho and tell him you're going to sleep."

"Are you going to sleep?"

"Yes, if you stay." He kissed her on her cheek, below her ear, on her neck.

"Jane."

"I know I will if you stay. If you go, I don't know."

"Jane."

Jane nuzzled his face against hers. "I'm being honest."

Lisbon sighed. "Okay," she said and sat up and searched for her phone in her clothes. Jane kept a hand on her hip as she found it and texted Cho. She slipped back under the covers with him and waited for a reply. When it came, she read it, responded, and then tossed the phone back onto her pile of clothes.

He pulled her back up against him and closed his eyes. He was beyond tired. He felt Lisbon relaxing into him and the bed. He emptied his mind of everything but the softness of Lisbon's skin, the sound of her breathing, the heady smell of her sex.

When Jane woke a few hours later, Lisbon was still tucked up against him. He had slept hard and his body was stiff from it. He shifted to stretch his legs and straighten his back and Lisbon stirred. He went back to spooning her, his hand roaming slowly over her hip, down her thigh, inside her thigh, up over her patchy mound, up her belly to her breasts and down her arm to her hip to start the circuit all over again. Half way through the first circuit his own arousal had fully burgeoned and half through the second Lisbon was responding with a sleepy hum. On the third circuit she was turning around to face him and start her own roaming. She blinked her eyes awake and he met her with a kiss that deepened quickly. He suddenly could not get enough of her. Last night another door had opened and Jane was flooded with a desire he had kept locked away for almost eleven years. He gasped at the force of it, breaking the kiss to catch his breath. Like an animal too longed denied sustenance, his desire verged on feral desperation.

He saw concern in her face and she reached up and ran her thumb over his jaw.

"I feel like I might hurt you," he whispered between heavy breaths. He gripped her hip tightly, more to still himself than her.

Her concern moved to understanding and she ran her hand behind his head and pulled him firmly to her. "You won't," she said. She kissed him hard and deep then and lifted her leg over his hip, giving him full permission to take her.

His desire thundered forward. He gave himself permission to unleash it fully as he gripped her hip harder, angling himself, feeling her moist vulva, and finally thrusting himself into her in one hard stroke. Her gasp spurred him on and he thrust again, pulling her down onto him, watching her response. Then, losing any semblance of control, he unleashed a torrent of thrusts that she met enthusiastically with throaty cries of pleasure. He lost himself in them, lost himself completely in her. Somewhere along the way he found a part of himself cracking open, a warm burst of energy exploded in his chest and he saw that she was completely open to receiving it. The sight of her like that sent the energy down to his loins and sent him hurtling over the edge, his hips bucking blissfully into the receptive recesses of the woman who was falling apart with him now. She shoved her face into his neck, into the pillow, the intensity of her cries muffled. He grunted a final release and felt her tightening around him, relaxing and tightening, her own desire diminishing in steady, spasmodic waves.

As the last remnants of tension left his body, Jane was overcome with emotion. Tears sprang to his eyes and he began to weep. He wept because he had thought this part of his life was over, had been murdered along with Angela. He wept thinking that he didn't deserve this pleasure, didn't deserve Teresa's affections. He'd bring her nothing but sorrow and eventual madness or death.

She started shushing him, lifting her head up to kiss his lips, his cheeks, wiping away his tears.

"Nobody can know about this," he said, his fear rising instantly. "If Red John finds out—"

She shushed him again. "Don't do that," she said. "Don't let him kill every happiness of yours." She kept delivering kisses on his face. "Don't give him that power," she said.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. She was right. She was absolutely right. He held onto her suggestion and emptied his mind of everything except for how incredibly right she felt in his arms. She hugged him back, her hand rubbing a small circle between his shoulder blades. When he had calmed down, she slowly pulled her head back to look at him. Again, she put her hand to his face and brushed away the tears with her thumb.

He tried to smile. "Sorry I'm such a mess," he said.

She smiled back, a sweet smile. "Yeah, well, you've always been my mess to take care of, so, you know." She shrugged no big deal.

He let a breathy laugh loose.

"You're dealing with a lot, Jane. Cut yourself some slack."

He closed his eyes. "I'm not really dealing with anything," he said. He opened them and looked at her. "I don't want to deal with any of it."

"I know."

"This helps. A lot."

"I know."

"It's been awhile."

She pressed her lips together and a corner of her mouth lifted up.

"I mean, since I've been with someone I cared about. I mean, that was Angela."

"I know. You don't have to explain."

"But I do. I mean, I never thought I'd feel this way again and—"

"It's okay, Jane. "

"—and I. No. Let me finish. I don't want you to think I'm just looking for something to help me get through the night."

"This was completely unexpected," she said. "But not unwelcomed. It's been awhile for me too." She smiled a small smile.

"I know."

Her brows furrowed briefly. "What do you mean?"

"I know that it's been awhile."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do. I can always tell when you've been with someone. For a while there, it was a regular cycle. You could go without for no more than 7 weeks, but it's been much longer lately. Much."

Her eyes narrowed at him.

"I'm not judging you," he said. "It's not unlike me knowing when it's that time of the month for you. Or that you're on the pill. It's just a cyclical change in your body."

"You do not know my cycle," she said nonplussed.

"Okay." He could see she was getting edgy.

"I don't think I like you knowing that stuff about me without my knowledge. In fact, I know I don't like it."

"Okay."

"How on earth could you have known I was on the pill?"

"You know, this is not exactly the kind of pillow talk one would expect after what we just did."

"Well, this whole thing was unexpected, so I would say this is perfectly normal pillow talk given the situation. How did you know?"

"Are you going to punch me if I tell you the truth?"

She did something between a sigh and a scoff. "Jane, I will forever reserve the right to punch you when you deserve it."

He couldn't help but smile at her honesty. "Okay: one. Your cycle is very low key, with only a slight fluctuation from normal, which suggests the use of the pill. Two. You would never risk pregnancy with someone you had only casual sex with, and you have had only casual sex for as long as I've known you. It's pretty obvious you're on the pill. I would guess that you only use a condom with men you can't be sure don't have STDs."

"Jesus, Jane. For someone who preserves his own privacy so carefully, you sure do invade others," she said frowning.

"I did not seek this information out. I just know it. There's a difference. I know a lot of things I'd rather not know."

She studied him before relenting. "Fair enough."

He leaned in and kissed her softly and then, rubbing her nose with his, said, "And I know a lot more about you then I used to."

She very nearly purred in response which made him smile at learning how to make her very nearly purr. He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him so her head rested on his chest, her leg splaying over his. He thought he'd like to learn a lot more about how to make sounds like that come out of Agent Teresa Lisbon.