disclaimer: do not own

two pruCan fics running simultaneously. yup, i'm cool.

ayeeeeee thanks for the reviews :'D I'm glad you guys liked reading the format as much as I liked writing it.

if you want them to go anywhere/do anything special, throw me a line and I'll see if I can fit it in :'D


Day One


From: Alpha Dawg

To: Gilbo the Great

Subject: no subject

Preußen! Ich weiß, was Ihre Absichten sind! Lassen Sie meinen Bruder sofort los, oder ich komme dorthin auf den folgenden Flug und trete Ihren Esel, also stark sind Sie nicht in der Lage, für den Rest Ihres Lebens zu gehen!

!

!

!

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle


From: Gilbo the Great

To: Alpha Dawg

Subject: RE:no subject

can you not send me your rage rant if you're using an online translator

-Sir Awesome


Alfred Hero Jones to Gilbert Beilschmidt Unhand my brother, fiend!

25 minutes ago · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt to Alfred Hero Jones no
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Alfred Hero Jones to Gilbert Beilschmidt yes
23 minutes ago · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt to Alfred Hero Jones no
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Alfred Hero Jones to Gilbert Beilschmidt yes
19 minutes ago · Like

Lovino Vargas you fucktards are clogging up my newsfeed

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · 3 people like this

Gilbert Beilschmidt deal with it

4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams alfred, could you please stop pestering Gilbert..I'm here by my own choice :/

4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt OMG MATT YOU'RE AWAKE

3 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like


From: Gil
Message: GET UP

From: Gil
Message: WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES

From: Gil
Message: GET UP

From: Gil
Message: WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES

From: Gil
Message: GET UP

From: Gil
Message: WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES

From: Gil
Message: GET UP

From: Gil
Message: WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES

From: Gil
Message: GET UP

From: Matt
Message: is it that hard to just come up stairs and wake me up instead of texting me 50 times

From: Gil
Message: oh. k if you want me i'll be up in a mo ;)

From: Matt
Message: i didn't mean it like that gil

From: Gil
Message: ill bring syrup ;p

From: Matt
Message: no

From: Gil
Message: :(

From: Gil

Message: maaatttieeeeee hurry up these pancakes aren't gonna make themselves


On weekends and vacations, Matthew had the habit of staying in bed under the blankets for an extra ten minutes or so after he woke up, checking his e-mail and the like.

Gilbert did not like the habit, and decided that he'd drag Matthew out of bed. Not that his amount of sheer awesome wasn't enough to get the Canadian out of bed, but he liked terrorizing the kid.

So he sneaked up the stairs, and peeked through the crack of the door frame. There was a large lump on the bed, and Gilbert assumed that Matthew was huddled underneath the black blankets. Gilbert straightened himself up, before he walked into the room and told Matthew to wake up.

Minus the walking. It was more of a charge, as he declared his awesomeness to have officially entered the room. He jumped onto the bed, straight onto the lump, and wrapped his legs and arms around it in the ultimate death lock. Matthew let out a strangled yell of surprise and pain.

"Holy fu-Gilbert!" Matthew's head slipped out of the covers, but the rest of his body was still trapped within the blankets and Gilbert. Gilbert was holding onto him like a big teddy bear, and had rolled so that Matthew's face was pressing into the mattress. Matthew struggled, but Gilbert's body seemed fifty times heavier when it was on top of him.

"Are you awake yet, Mattie? Wanna get up?"

"Uhhhck yuuuh."

"Kesesese, I can't hear you~"

Gilbert got another muffled response from the blond, and kesesese'd again. Matthew wrenched his head to the side so that he could at least breath and form some legible words.

"Did you have to do that, Gilbert?"

Gilbert wriggled his lower half a bit, increasing the discomfort level of the man beneath him.

"Well, you weren't getting out of bed, so I thought I'd come help you."

"I don't think pinning someone to the bed is a good way to get them out, eh?" Matthew protested, still not being able to move from underneath Gilbert.

"I suppose you're right, it's a better way to get them in. I think I'm doing a good job, either way, right?"

"..I was already in bed."

"That's because you're too easy~" Gilbert said, and Matthew tried to shoot him a scalding look. Except he still couldn't move his head much.

"The fuck Gil, just get off me."

"Tch tch, not until you say what I want to hear."

"And, pray tell, what is it that you want to hear?"

"Take a guess." Gilbert leaned in, so his face was hovering directly above the side of Matthew's. "Take a wild, wild guess."

"Sir Awesome?" Matthew guessed, and Gilbert shook his head. "Gil, I think you're cutting off my entire circulation."

"Ah ah ah, I'm not letting go of you till you say it."

"What if I don't want to say it?"

"Say it, Matthew~"

"What if I don't?"

"Then I'll flip you over and-"

"Matthew?" A deep voice came from the doorway, and Gilbert craned his neck to look. Ludwig's eyes widened slightly as he saw the scene, and Matthew felt himself turning red with humiliation at being caught in a very compromising position. Gilbert looked back at Matthew, and saw his friend blushing.

"Wow, West, way to kill the mood here." He said, turning his head towards his brother, smirking. He could see his brother go slightly pink.

"Well, breakfast is done so whenever you and Matthew are done, feel free to come down." Ludwig said. Ludwig had a look of utmost sympathy on his face, though Gilbert was sure it was entirely for Matthew, who had now buried his face back into the mattress in an attempt to suffocate himself. Gilbert rolled off, looking triumphant in having embarrassed both his brother and Matthew. Matthew took a sharp intake of breath as a decent amount of air was finally able to reach his lungs.

"I hate you, Gil." He wheezed, still on his stomach, glaring at Gilbert, who just grinned in return. "Now your brother probably has the wrong idea about us."

"I'm sure he doesn't." Gilbert replied happily. "He probably just thinks we're fuckin' or something."

"I'm pretty sure he does, because we don't sleep together."

"Hey," Gilbert furrowed his brow in mock confusion. "We sleep together all the time."

Matthew turned onto his side, facing Gilbert, and rolled his eyes.

"I meant in the other way. You know, that we don't have sex."

"Ohhhh." Gilbert inched closer to Matthew, who inched further away. "Do you want to change that?"

Matthew stared at him for a second, as if wondering if Gilbert was really serious. Gilbert wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, then at seeing Matthew's slightly shocked face, burst out into loud laughter.

"Kesesese, the look on your face was priceless~"

"S-Shut up!"

And then Matthew was crushed again underneath the force that was Gilbert, as he bear-hugged him, (totally not) squealing

"It was so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!"


From: Ludwig
Message: Going out to groceries w. Feliciano. When you guys are done upstairs, there's breakfast on the table

From: Gil
Message: the breakfast's shitty can we make cake instead

From: Ludwig
Message: you'll destroy the kitchen

From: Gil
Message: okay thanks :)


Matthew Williams baking cake baking cake baking cake

4 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt baking cake baking cake baking cake
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams baking like a cake
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt baking while baked
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like · 1 person likes this

Gilbert Beilschmidt feel free to join larsy-pie
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt hahaha pie
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt let's bake a pie with weed like our cake with weed
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams baking pie baking pie baking pie baking pie
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt you know who we sound like
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams who
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt marry me brother marry marry marry marry marry marry
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt marry marry marry marry marry marry marry
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt marry marry marry marry marry marry marry
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt marry marry marry marry marry marry marry
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt marry marry marry marry marry marry marry
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams dude you shoulda told me that shit in person i'm rigt beside u
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt why
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

Natalia Arlovskaya Take a guess.
1 hour ago · Like


From: Gil
Message: yo you know that hugeass embroidery hanging or whatever eyebrows got you last year for your birthday

From: Ludwig
Message: Yes?

From: Gil
Message: how much did you value it?

From: Ludwig
Message: ...why?

From: Gil
Message: wellllllllllllllllll i kinda used it to put out a fire


Matthew groaned from the sofa he was sprawled across, and woke up to Ludwig and Gilbert sitting on the floor watching soccer on the television. The smell of pasta floated in from the kitchen, and Matthew let his head flop back down onto the cushions.

He could not believe he spent the first few hours of his first full day in Germany getting wasted with Gilbert and baking enough to feed an army. He looked at his wrist-watch, which had its time adjusted, and it now read 8 in the evening. Guilt started to bubble up, as he remembered all the things they had planned for today, which didn't include running down a neighbourhood that was normally quiet and not used to seeing a half-naked albino running down the street, nor were they used to seeing an absurdly-happy blonde following close by sloppily dressed in an old, worn out lederhosen.

Matthew did not really remember how that happened, but he did remember that Ludwig had found them while he was driving back and hauled them home, admonishing Gilbert repeatedly. Matthew had apologized continuously, but Ludwig had brushed it off, saying it was purely the fault of Gilbert's influence.

Even if they had used Matthew's weed.

When they had gotten home, Ludwig had been greeted by stacks upon stacks of cake and pastries. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks, and Gilbert and Feliciano were the first to dive in. Matthew joined, and after a long time of hesitation, Ludwig had too. Soon, not only was cake being eaten, but, thanks to Gilbert bringing out some beer, they were having a mid-day feast.

Matthew remembered something vague about Gilbert "cleaning" the icing off of him, and then started to turn red at the memory. He was sure that shortly after that, due to a combination of various substances, jet lag, and general fatigue, he had passed out on the couch.

"Yo Matt, you woke up." Gilbert said distractedly, while watching the game. He too had had a little nap, and he, not having the same things that Matthew had encumbering him, was at a somewhat normal state.

"Mm." Was all Matthew could think of as a response, because he felt sleep slowly hit him again.

Like a ton of bricks.


Feliciano Vargas tagged Gilbert Beilschmidt and Matthew Williams in a picture.

35 minutes ago · Like · Elizabeta Héderváry likes this

Elizabeta Héderváry sooo cuuuute!
34 minutes ago · Like · 2 people like this

Francis Bonnefoy oh the joys of l'armour~
34 minutes ago · Like

Arthur Kirkland that's not what it is, you bloody frog, these two are obviously just enjoying their friendship.
32 minutes ago · Like

Alfred Hero Jones LOL WTF "ENJOYING THEIR FRIENDSHIP" get off the internet, old man
31 minutes ago · Like

Francis Bonnefoy But Gilbert's licking icing off dear Mathieu's face!
31 minutes ago · Like

Elizabeta Héderváry and they're both so reeeddddddddd omg this is totally adorable
30 minutes ago · Like

Arthur Kirkland kiss my arse, Alfred. and Francis, Elizabeta, please don't encourage them any further.
29 minutes ago · Like

Francis Bonnefoy and the twinkle in mathieu's eyes! ahhh, papa is so proud!
28 minutes ago · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt we were/are baked. this is normal shit
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Feliciano Vargas and he even let matthew call him Gilly~~~~~
18 minutes ago · Like

Ludwig Beilschmidt I'm not surprised the whole day was wasted like this
18 minutes ago · Like

Elizabeta Héderváry there's more? :'D
12 minutes ago · Like

Gilbert Beilschmidt ...if I wasn't so awesome, I think i'd have just died of embarrasment
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

Matthew Williams i think i just did
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like


From: Alpha Dawg

To: Matt W.

Subject: guess what I fooound

your beardogthing let me into your house

and guess what I found :)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle


From: Matt W.

To: Alpha Dawg

Subject: RE: guess what I fooound

my weed?

-Matt


From: Alpha Dawg

To: Matt W.

Subject: RE:RE: guess what I fooound

aside from that

I also found your diary

and I read it

and guess what i readdd

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle


From: Matt W.

To: Alpha Dawg

Subject: RE:RE:RE: guess what I fooound

when I get back, I will murder you

-Matt


From: Alpha Dawg

To: Matt W.

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE: guess what I fooound

now I know whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you're visiting staying with prussia in germany

tee hee

in germany

ANYWAYS

you can never hide things from brother dear :)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle


I always spend like the first ten minutes in bed checking my email and texting people how I don't want to go to school

The German email that Alfred sent was indeed shoved through an online translator because authencity is good ;p

It says:

prussia! I know what your intentions are! Let go of my brother immediately or I will come over there on the next flight and kick your ass so hard you will not be able to walk for the rest of your life