Jays POV...

saturday was finally here. I had woken up early but in the best mood ever. I walked down the hall passing caseys room, i peaked my head in and she was sound a sleep. I flickered the lights on and off hoping that she would wake up. But she hardly moved. this was a challenge that i was willing to accept. i backed up a little preping my self so that i can fling myself in her direction. "fuck!" casey sat up and started beating me with her pillow. As we settled down we kinda just sat there for a while. "are you excited for the movies?" casey gave me this grin as if she was hinting to something. "ya i heard the movie was good" i played it off like i had no clue what she was talking about. "oh really? thats why your excited? it has nothing to do with alex or possibaly getting to sit next to him?" i could feel my cheeks heat up and turn pink. butterflies filled my stomach. "your dumb" was my only response to her. This is probably the third time i have gone to the movies with alex, and other friends of course. but my point is that for some reason everytime when i think about it or him, i began to feel like someone had knocked the wind out of me and my heart beats a million times faster. But i knew that i couldnt share my feelings with alex, let alone anyone because i knew thet exact responses that i would i get; "im not ready for a relationship" or "awww you guys are so cute". i got up from caseys bed and headed to the shower. i guess you could say that i was tired of hearing the same damn thing over and over again, i wish people were more 'DO' than they are 'TALK'.

Alex's POV...

I woke up late that day and not in the best of mood either. Its saturday which is usually mine, caseys, and jays movie day. jay. going to the movies with her was something that i enjoyed but i had a guilty feeling in my gut every time. i felt like i was leading her on. i feel the need to be cautious with every move i make. I really do like her, but am i really willing to risk everything? Im not good at having "good" relationships and she knows that. i just wish that she would move on because im no good for her, and i know i keep telling her that i was going to change but reality just punched me in the face that, it going to take a lot of work for whatever change im looking for to come. plus im not worth waiting for. Speak of the devil, jay just texted me asking to save her and amanda seats becasue they might be late. the Movies was my chance to be honest with her. so I replied with 'ok, and i need to talk to you after the movie'. I did my usaul "get ready" routine which was shower and get dressed. Nothing to exciting. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. My drive seemed long, i turned on the radio and continued my peaceful drive. When i got to the movies, there was no sign of amanda or jay. i grabbed my phone to text jay that i was here but before i could hit send, icould hear my name being called from behind me. It was jay and amanda, i looked over in jays direction. It almost pained me to know that by the end of the night i was going to be the reason that the smile she always had would be gone and that i would be the reason for the rain drops on her cheeks even thought the sky is dry. "hey guys, caseys a no show" jay said with her head buried in her phone. "how come?" amanda asked while waiting for her popcorn. "she said she wasnt able to make it" i could that jay was a bit disappointed that casey wasnt coming.

-1hour later-

"holy crap! that was an intense movie" jay said we left the darkness of the theater. this was my que. "hey jay can i talk to you?" amanda began to follow as we walked to talk privatly. "here amanda take these quarters and go play a game" jay pulled the change from her pocket and watched amanda walk away before returning to me. "ok alex whats up?" "i've been thinking" "about what?" "our problem" "whats our problem?" jays facial expression went from happy to worried in a matter of seconds. "well we like eachother but idont want anything serious, you know im kool with like going on dates and stuff but i dont want a "girlfriend" because im not good at that kind of stuff and you know that." jays face began to worry me. i guess this wasnt as easy as i thought it would be.

Jay's POV...

WHAT THE HELL? So far im so confused. I thought that me and him were actually getting some where, there has to be more to what hes telling me. "Do you want me to move on? is that the point your trying to make?" Alex hesitated before answering "No and yes. i think that we should like eachother still, and still hang out but if want to do things with other guys i understand because im not really worth waiting for...im really fucked up and its going to take a very long time to fix myself. Im trying to be honest with you and plus your tired of waiting and its killing me seeing you so upset over this whole situation" Alex kept his stare locked on his sneakers. I didnt really know what to say. it hurt, more than anything before. the one guy that i want more than anything is telling me that hes no good. well who said i fucking wanted him to change anyways? i like him just the way he was and i dont give a shit what other said or how they felt about this situation. But for some reason i couldnt find the words to tell him that so i said something else. "I'm not up set nor was I ever upset about waiting, I willing to put in the effort and hard work because I believed in you I believed that you could change I even fought with amanda, jack, zack, and Casey because that didn't believe that you could ever change they thought all you were going to do was hurt me I was willing to wait for you I really was and I'm sorry for actually being the one person that thought you could really change so thanks for finally telling how you feel" i felt bad for putting our friends on the spot like that but im getting really sick and tired of people telling me that hes no good. im also sick of people trying to tell me how to feel about someone. Now that alex is telling me thats it not fair that i have to wait. but really its not fair that he stands there and tells me that he like me, while throwing everything we had away. "im sorry, i really do like you but i just thinks its unfair to you" i held back the tears that i felt coming. This was it, the end of Alex and I. "lifes unfair" those were my last words, turned on my heels on walked away. trying to grasp everything that happen. Amanda was alreadly in the car waiting for me. as soon as i got in and shut the door. i layed my head in the steering wheel and began to cry. Amanda didnt ask what was wrong, she handed me some tissues from the dashboard. I cleaned my self up and started the car. I told amanda the story in the car ride to her place. I pulled up to her place and put the car in park we both kind of just sat there trying to soak everything in. Amandas final words before leaving was; "i think that you guys should just date and work on every obstacle when you run into one...you guys deserve a chance." i drove away with that in mind. The quite was making me fell uncomfortable so i turned on the radio and my life story came on... (I Stay in love - Mariah Carey) ~Why do I stay Why do I stay in love? Oh, baby Baby, I stay in love with you Dying inside 'cause I can't stand itMake or break up, can't take this madness We don't even really know why All I know is, baby, I try and try so hard to keep our love alive If you don't know me at this point Then I highly doubt you ever will I really need you to give me That unconditional love I used to feel It's no mistaking, we're just erasing from our hearts and minds And I know we said let go but I kept on hanging on Inside I know it's over, you're really gone It's killing me 'cause there ain't nothing that I can do Baby, I stay in love with you And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around And I try to front like, "Oh well," each time you let me down See I can't get over you now no matter what I do But baby, baby, I stay in love with you Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Baby, I stay in love with you It cuts so deep, it hurts down to my soul My friends tell me I ain't the same no more We still need each other when we stumble and fall How we gon' act like what we had, ain't nothing at all now Hey, what I wanna do is ride shotgun next to you With the top down like we used to hit the block, proud in the SUV We both know our heart is breaking Can we learn from our mistakes?I can't last one moment alone, now go I know We said let go but I kept on hanging onInside I know it's over, you're really gone It's killing me 'cause there ain't nothing that I can do Baby, I stay in love with you And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around And I try to front like "Oh well," each time you let me down See I can't get over you now no matter what I do But baby, baby, I stay in love with you~

Alex's POV...

What have i done?

Casey's POV...

(earlier that day)

Jay got up and walked torwards the shower. i headed over to my closet to get something to wear to the movies. While rummaging through my clothes, i had gotten a text message from Jack. He wanted me to meet him at the food court at the mall. i qiuckly got dressed and without telling jay, i left. On my way out i ran into Amanda who must have just got here. "hey casey, where you going?" "ummmm...i have some errands to run" "oh ok well are you going to be back in time for the movies?" "ya i'll meet you guys there." I dont why i couldnt just tell her that i was meeting jack. I felt bad for keeping things from Jay and Amanda, but i dont know of they would approve of whats going on. During my whole drive i was trying to think if i should just turn around or not...but i didnt, i pulled into the large parking garage and parked. I sat there for a minute. I looked at the entrance and saw jack standing there running his fingers through thick black hair. i got out walked to him. Before i could say anything He leaned in and kissed me. the softness of lips made my heart melt. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away. "whats wrong casey?" jack looked confused "im tired of lying about whats going on here" "What do you mean?" "this whole secret relationship thing, Why cant we be together in the open?" "its just eaiser this way" jack looked off into the distance. "eaiser for you? because i want to be with you jack but not like this. you need to get you shit together" i turned to walk away but he had grabbed my arm. "i forgot to give this to you." he held out a cd, i didnt give it another look i just took it and shoved it on my bag and continued walking. I got in to the car and before driving off i pulled out the cd and read the writing on the cover. 'Our Songs' Tears fell from my eyes as i put the cd in. Of course the first song was Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects. But the one song that had made smile was the last one, She will Be loved by Maroon 5. I texted jay that i wouldnt make it to the movies. I spent the whole night listening to that CD... I could hear the pieces of my heart drop to the ground. What Have i done?