Hello there.

I have returned with even more joyful tidings of my slow decent into complete insanity.

Of course I told you last night I knew there would be hell to pay for the whole trunk incident ,but I can honestly that I drastically underestimated my future sufferings.

Today was another one of those days. No actually it put those days to shame. Those chores I talked about? Yeah ,well they came bright and early , just as expected, and consisted mainly of me scrubbing the hen houses and trimming the garden while princess James sat in the house and shouted things like: "You missed a spot!" and "Put your back into it!" and my favorite "That still looks like shit, you better learn how to clean properly or you're never gonna find a husband!" from the kitchen window.

After a while Albus and Lily came out to help me, having declined Uncle George's offer to accompany him back to the shop, where Fred and Hugo undoubtedly were.

"Wood just left." Albus said as he picked up a rake to help me.

"Super!" I replied with a sarcastic grin.

"So you're still in a strop, huh?" Lily asked timidly.

"No it's just_ "I took a deep breath and turned to look at them, "I seem to be the only one who thinks that James got what he deserved."

"Oh come on Rose! James is a git yea, but you knocked him down two flights of bloody stairs!" Albus said rolling his eyes at me, "You're lucky that he wasn't too badly injured. I reckon Wood would've thrown a nice little hissy fit had you messed up his quidditch team."

Do you see how everything always comes back to bloody quidditch? Forget school and friends and homework's let's just all play quidditch 24-7 and worship Jordan Wood!

"I don't give a damn what Wood would've done!" I said trying to ignore the smirk both of my cousins were giving me "The world doesn't revolve around quidditch you know!"

"Well actually Rosie, Wood's does." Albus said looking at me as if I was about to attack him for contradicting me.

"My, my the world of Jordan Wood " Lily said dreamily from behind me " pretty much just quidditch and …..you."

Lily thought it would be just adorable if Wood and I got together. She hasn't quite given up on that idea like I have. (nor has anyone else as it seems)

"Only in James's mind." I said smoothly. Which is true, he's had that idea that we would fall in love and get married for years too.

"You know Rose clever as you may be, you're really thick sometimes." Albus said, laughing to himself as he put down the rake and started to walk towards the house.

"Or maybe just blind." Lily added smartly as she followed him.

"Wait what?" I screamed after them "What are you talking about?", but they just ignored me and kept going till the kitchen door closed behind them.

Do you know how rude that is? To just say random, stupid, senseless things and walk away without explaining themselves! Ughhhh it's maddening! And the look on their faces, like they knew better than me, ridiculous, ungrateful twits! James has done a number on those two. I mean the thought of me and Wood actually ever being something real is just completely ludicrous! It's just a joke, it's always been a joke and that's all it ever will be.

That's when I decided right then and there that the rest of my summer was to be spent 100 percent Jordan Wood free. After all there were only three days left in the holidays, piece of cake right?

But I was mistaken journal...oh was I mistaken.

I finished up around 5 and went to take a shower before dinner. But unfortunately for me, Princess James was in the bathroom trying to wash his face and hands, which apparently is very challenging with bruised ribs. What rubbish. He can play a three hour quidditch game with a minor concussion and a sprained shoulder but he can't wash his face? I had to stand there in there hallway, smelling like a pig dipped in toad spawn, while he moaned and groaned about bruises that barely existed. But needless to say I kept my temper and James narrowly escaped another trip to Saint Mungos as he hobbled pathetically down the steps.

And everyone wonders why I am always so stressed. Well here is the answer people. And this was just the beginning of the evening. Oh yes journal it did indeed get worse. After my shower I went in my room to get dressed and then downstairs for dinner.

Honestly I had been dreading dinner all day because I figured everyone would still be mad at me, but they weren't. We talked about our classes, and Uncle George's shop, and quidditch of course , and I was actually foolish enough to think that I would get away from the table without any awkward or patronizing conversation.

WRONG-O

"Rosie "my Mother said, as I rose to leave the table. "Before everyone leaves, I think we need to have a serious family talk".

I was screwed, I knew it, and so did James as he sat there grinning like the psychotic git that he is.

"Okay "I said, plopping back down in my seat "What about?"

"About your little tantrum yesterday." my Dad said. "What in the name of Merlin was going through your head?"

"We'll I'd tell you but I'd only be punished for it." I said coldly. This was a bad situation. I was angry, and I really didn't care what I said to my parents or how much trouble I got in.

"Rose you almost killed James!" Uncle Harry said shaking his head.

"Yes but he didn't die right? So no harm no foul!"

From across the table James glared at me, and I just smiled back. He wasn't going to win this one.

Princess James was going down!

"This isn't a joke Rose. I'm really concerned." My Mother said, "What could have possibly made you that angry?"

Finally!

All yesterday I had been trying to tell them, and they wouldn't listen!

But now, YES!

"You really want to know?" I said eagerly "Alright, when we came home yesterday, James over there decided that he was going to go into my room, steal my BRA, and tie it to the end of Wood's broom."

I stopped and looked around. All the adults were staring at James, who seemed to be very interested in his shoelaces. I spared him one look of distain and continued.

"So I, being the sweet tempered girl that I am,"(at this I distinctively heard at least six snorts come from around the room) "decided that I wasn't going to seek revenge on James. So I merely punched him in the face and headed for my room. Now in that situation any intelligent person would have left me alone right? Not James, he followed me. And I kept my temper until we got to the landing, and... what was it you said James?"

I looked at him and smiled. Now he was screwed, and I loved it.

"Oh yes something along the lines of 'it was only Wood we all knew you wanted him to to see your bra eventually', and so I proceeded to through my tantrum and sent him to Saint Mungos."

The room was silent for about a minute until CRACK; Aunt Ginny had smacked James in the back of the head so hard it looked like he was crying. "James Sirius Potter, have you no decency?"

James just sat there rubbing the back of his head and gapped up at his mother. "Oh mum it's not that bad," he said "besides we all know it's true".

CRACK this time I got to James first and smacked him right across the mouth.

"Alright enough!" my grandfather yelled "Lily, Hugo, Albus go outside and feed the chickens!"

They obeyed, and I heard them crack up laughing as soon as the door swung closed behind them.

"Now you two, "he said "you are both acting ridiculous! You're cousins for god's sake!"

"Not by choice!" I snapped.

"Ditto!" James screamed.

"ALRIGHT!" my Dad yelled (so loud that my uncle George covered the hole on the side of his head.) "I can't stand this constant bickering it's driving me mad! You're always having a go at each other it's getting really old!"

Apparently this was amusing because all the adults started laughing hysterically. James and I looked around, confused, waiting for them to either stop laughing or to explain what the hell was so funny.

"Oh yes Ron, your definitely one to talk." Uncle Harry laughed "I cannot believe you could even say that with a straight face."

"I don't get it "I said loudly.

"Your mother and father used to drive me mad! They bickered so much I'd actually have to leave the room before I strangled one of them." Harry told me.

"Granted neither of them ever pushed a trunk down a flight of stairs on top of the other." Ginny added, still laughing.

"Yes, but there was that time when she sent a flock of canaries on him, remember when he was dating..."

"Alright!" my Mother interrupted "Let's not relive it!" Eventually the laughing subsided and the blush on my Mum and Dad's faces faded.

"Can I be excused now?" I asked ,figuring now was the best time to get away.

"No you ruddy well cannot!" my Father exclaimed "Not until we get this sorted out!"

"What's to sort out?" James said fiercely "Rosie's mad because I'm the only one who doesn't fall for her 'I'm not in love with Wood anymore and I'm completely oblivious to the fact that he might actually be insane enough to like me ' routine'", James smiled triumphantly and looked at me.

"James its time you stop living in a dream world "I said "THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!"

"You want to bet me?"

"You're pitiful! You would actually bet on your cousin's love life?"

"When the cousin is being a complete prat, and ignoring what is blatantly in front of her!"

"Stop pretending like this is about me James, it's just another one of your stupid schemes!"

"First of all my schemes are never stupid! Second ...it started out that way but now..."

"I don't care anymore James! I'm so done with all of this!"

"Look, Rose, Wood is my best mate_"

"I don't care!"

"And I think he really likes you, and I know you like him back!"

"I have no response to that!"

"Because you know I'm right."

"Because I know your evil!"

He gasped "I am not evil!"

"You stole my bra!"

"Yea... well... that was just..."

"Just what?"

"Just to see how Wood reacted!"

"Oh that worked out well!"

"Look I'm sorry!"

"Can I be excused?"

"Maybe that wasn't the best plan."

"CAN I BE EXCUSED!"

"You are so immature!"

"What I'm …I'm immature, why you little son of a ..."

"ARE YOU QUITE FINISHED?" My grandmother screamed, "Both of you to your rooms NOW!"

I glared at James, our parents were staring at us with their heads in their hands.

"You heard your grandmother." my Aunt Ginny said.

James and I looked at each other, not sure what to say.

"NOW!" my Dad screamed.

So we took off up the steps and into our rooms. We'd crossed the line; we knew it, arguing like that in front of our parents was stupid. But when has anyone ever known James to be smart? It was about an hour of complete silence before Albus came up to tell us that our parents wanted to see us down-stairs. We walked into the sitting room and sat on the couch by the door, across from my Mum and Dad, and Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny.

"Okay, we're going to work this out once and for all. Now both of you sit down, listen, and don't open your mouths until your told to, understand?" my Dad asked us.

We both nodded and waited for the antagonizing lecture to begin.

"So James, I understand where you're coming from." he continued, "You feel like Rose isn't making the right decisions. You feel like you need to help her and that you need to protect her. And while I understand and appreciate your intentions, Rose... well, doesn't".

James raised an eyebrow at him and nodded.

"What Ron is trying to say James," Uncle Harry cut in "is that you have to know when to draw the line. You have to respect her feelings and her privacy. Hard as it may be for you to see Rose is grown up, she's very smart, and is more than capable of making the right decision".

I smiled at Uncle Harry. It meant a lot to me to hear him say that, it almost made the situation bearable. James nodded reluctantly to his father and uncle. And they turned to face me.

"Now Rosie," Uncle Harry said "what James did was terrible, senseless, and tactless. This however, is no excuse for you to attempt murder".

"You have to look beyond the stupidity. He really does have your best intentions at heart, even if he has mental ways of showing it. "my Dad added.

"Rose, your Uncles put me your situation so many times." Aunt Ginny said "They used to torture the hell out of me about liking Harry, they never approved of any of my boyfriends until I started dating him, and they pressured me to be with him because they knew it was best for me. So maybe, as insane as it sounds, you should listen to James and consider his opinions." I looked at her "It's your call".

"But more than anything Rose, You need to learn to control your temper", my Mother said sternly, "I will not be getting a letter from professor McGonagall saying that you pushed James off of the astronomy tower , understand?"

"Yes mum" I said.

"You guys need to be there for each other. " Uncle Harry, "And Wood is a good kid Rose, don't get so upset about it all okay."

I nodded again, a little more reluctantly.

"Alright that's all, you two can go!" my Dad said.

I stood up and followed James out of the room, when we reached the stairs; he turned around to face me.

"Look I'm really sorry I embarrassed you. I feel really bad about it." he said seriously.

"I know, "I said "and I'm sorry I almost killed you".

He smiled at me "It's okay I deserved it."

I stepped forward and hugged him.

"I got your back Rose." he whispered "You've got to trust me."

I smiled at him and nodded then turned to go up to my room, I had a lot to think about. So I guess today wasn't all that bad. Victiore just left, she came for one of her infamous "advice sessions". It's always been easy to talk to Victiore; she's a really good listener. And there's only one other person in the world who seems to understand me the way she does ... and I promised myself I would forget about him for the rest of the summer , but we'll get to that later. I told Victiore all about the James incident and I expected her to be sympathetic and on my side, but much to my dismay she wasn't.

"Wow!" she said "He's pathetic."

"I know isn't he?" I said.

"I mean there are other ways; I don't know what he was thinking!" she said

"What?" I asked confused.

"Don't you see what he was trying to do?"

I shook my head.

"Do you remember the summer before me and Teddy started dating, right before your first year?"

I nodded, still not seeing the connection.

"Do you remember when he took my diary and gave it to Teddy and instead of reading it he gave it right back to me?" I nodded again. That had been one of the cutest moments I had ever seen, Teddy defending Victiore from James , who was one of his best friends_ oh….there it is.

"Well obviously he was testing Wood; of course it didn't work out like he thought. You're a lot stronger than I am, so you took care of yourself."

I was staring at her and shaking, my head. "Victiore, we've been down this road before remember?" I said.

"Oh Rose that was last summer, a lot can change in a year. Just look at yourself."

"You lot are demented if you think Wood could actually..."

"You're just afraid that he'll hurt you again."

"No I'm too smart to let him hurt me again." I said sternly.

"He didn't mean it." she pleaded. "Hell he didn't even know_"

"I know, I forgave him."

"Rose we both know you haven't talked to him since then, not like you used to anyway."

"Can you blame me?"

"All I'm saying is don't lose him because you're afraid."

I looked at her for a minute.

"Alright" I said.

She looked at me and then at her watch. "Oh Damn," she said "I got to go sweetie. Me and Teddy are having dinner". She stood up and walked to the door "Think about what I said okay?"

And so here I am, thinking about what she said. See I haven't been completely honest about the whole me and Wood fiasco. There is actually a lot more to it.

James first met Jordan Wood at quidditch camp when he was ten. I met him that same summer. The closer James came to Wood the more I saw him and eventually we were pretty good friends. Every year he would come to the burrow with the Potters, so it was a bit insane for me to have flipped out about it the yesterday, but you'll understand in a minute. The summer before my second year we became inseparable, even in school he was one of my best friends. I didn't start to fall for him until my third year. Nothing changed between us though because I was so afraid to tell him how I really felt.

Well last summer James overheard me talking to Victiore, and I guess he liked the idea of his best friend dating his cousin. Or maybe he had other reasons, I don't know. It's hard to distinguish James' motives sometimes. Anyway we were sitting outside when James came out and started to make stupid jokes about me and Wood hooking up. He wouldn't stop until Wood told him to shut up, that we were "only friends" and "that was it". He had no idea how bad that hurt me, of course he didn't mean too but it didn't matter, it wasn't the same anymore. We sort of fell apart after that, we barely talk now .I mean he tries but I won't let him get too close. I can't be hurt like that again, and if I have to lose one of my best friends to avoid that pain I will.

I remember the day it happened Victiore kept telling me stories about how her and Teddy's relationship was just like that and so was Aunt Ginny's and Uncle Harry's "and look how they turned out " she said, but that didn't change my mind . I might have hurt Jordan when I stopped talking to him. And that whole year was incredibly painful for me, watching him go from girlfriend to girlfriend and not only that, but I couldn't talk to him like I used to. So you would think that James would see the change in our relationship and back down. Nope he's still doing it, determined to get us together. Sorry to tell you James (and everyone else for that matter) but Jordan made it quite clear that he has NO feelings for me, and I have had a year to sort out mine for him. So I wish everyone would just let it go because it's beyond impossible.

"Don't lose him because you're afraid"

You know what journal, Victiore's right I am terrified of Jordan Wood.

But, I've already lost him.

Goodnight my paperback friend,

ROSE WEASLEY