A big thanks to everyone who reviewed with an extra sugary sprinkle of gratitude for graciously welcoming me back into the fandom! Oh, how I've missed it. I'm very glad that you all seem to have enjoyed the story so far and I'm hoping not to disappoint. (: Also, I should mention that I haven't actually watched Life with Derek in about two years and I really never watched much of the last season so I'm lacking a lot of information from there and have probably forgotten some things about the show so if I start making mistakes, please forgive but feel free to point them out!


Derek dramatically pressed both of his palms and the side of his face against the inside of the car window.

"Help. Meeeeeeee." He whimpered pitifully.

"Oh, stop it." Casey said from behind the wheel of the car. "That's just pathetic."

"No, you know what's pathetic?" Derek asked, pulling his head away from the window and turning to look at Casey. "Dragging me out of my bed while you're in some sort of psychosis!"

"I am not psychotic!" Casey cried.

"Then what do you call this?"

"This…" Casey faltered. "Well, I don't exactly have a definition for this yet. But I'm not crazy!"

"Whatever." Derek rolled his eyes. While doing so he glanced at the clock on the dashboard. "Midnight, Casey? Really? You drag me out of my room at midnight when you know I'm stocking up energy for a sleepless weekend?"

Casey gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead trying to hide the uncomfortable grimace on her face. Derek stared at the side of her head feeling as though he was forgetting something. He glanced at the time again and then back at Casey, letting the pieces fall together. Once realization hit, Derek turned and let his head thunk against the window once more.

"Ohhh."

"Oh, what?" Casey asked.

"It's your birthday." Derek lifted his head and shook it slowly. "It's your twenty-first birthday and you're kidnapping me.""I am not kidnapping you!"

"Excuse me, your exact words were 'you're probably going to want to be wearing pants when I kidnap you from this room for the night'."

"Oh,…okay, so yeah, I did say that. But it's really not as weird as it seems." Casey assured him.

"I feel so safe now." Derek said sarcastically. "Where are you even taking me?" He asked. "Why would you even want to drag me around on your birthday, anyway?"

"You ask a lot of questions." Casey noted and then remained silent for a moment before saying, "Well here's the answer to one of your questions." As she pulled into the small parking lot in front of Lima Bean.

"You brought me to Lima?" Derek balked. "What, is Greta baking you a cake or something? Oh, I get it. She baked you a cake and no one wanted to celebrate with you so you pathetically dragged me out of bed to eat it with you. Let's get this straight, I'm not singing to you."

"No, you idiot, we're here to plan and prioritize." Casey said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Plan and prioritize?" Derek mumbled. And after Casey had gotten out of the car and closed the door added, "This is so bad."

Derek sullenly followed Casey into Lima, the tinkling noise of the door not sounding nearly as pleasant as it usually did. Casey led him to a table in the back corner of diner.

"Okay," Derek said after he sat down, laying his arms across the back of his chair, "Care to explain to me why you dragged me out of bed?"

"You," Casey said, "Are going to help me."

"I'm going to-Casey, what are you talking about?"

"You're going to help me." She enunciated.

"I'm going to help you?" Derek repeated slowly.

"Yep." Casey said resolutely.

"With what? What could I possibly help you with?" Derek groaned, throwing himself down on the table.

Casey was silent for a moment before saying, "You're going to help me do the things on this list."

Derek lifted his head and saw that Casey was holding a piece of paper up at him.

"Why am I not surprised that there's a list involved?" Derek murmured, mostly to himself.

"I'm twenty-one tonight, and though I don't like agreeing with anything you ever have to say, I will admit that my normal young adult experiences are…highly limited." Casey said carefully. "I've got some things I want to do, and while you're not the most appealing of companions I feel that you're probably the most, er, qualified for the job."

"Oh, this should be good." Derek said, smirking. "What's on the list?"

"You're not allowed to say anything until I finish reading the list, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay." Casey cleared her throat. "I want to go to a regular club, then a gay club and a strip club." Derek opened his mouth but pointed her finger at him and glared so he closed it. "I want to drink alcohol, meet some transvestites, get kicked out of a store. Oh, I want to leave a mean message on my ex-boyfriend's voicemail. I also want to trespass somewhere and umm, watchapornmovie."

"Wait, wait." Derek said, crossing his arms and leaning forward. "What was that last part?"

Casey began to blush. "I, uh, wanttowatchapornmovie."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you. What-"

"I want to watch a porn movie!" Casey said in a fierce whisper. "Well, at least part of one." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, avoiding eye contact with Derek.

Leaning back in his seat Derek let out a long, low whistle. "My, my, Case. That is some list you've got there."

"Don't-just don't make fun of me, okay? Just help me." Casey pleaded.

"Okay."

"Excuse me, what?"

"I said okay."

"As in…."

"As in, yeah, I'll help you."

"You will?"

"Yep."

"Really?"

"No."

"What?"

"Jeez, Case!" Derek cried. "I'm kidding."

"Oh." Casey breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Of course, helping you is never something I'm interested in doing, but you are definitely right. I'm totally qualified for this."

Casey rolled her eyes and let out a quiet snort. "So where do you want to start?" Derek asked her.

"Okay, well I was thinking-"

Greta appeared next to Casey, holding a coffee pot full of coke. She liked to serve all liquids out of coffee pots for no other reason than she liked having an array of different colored ones lined up on the ledge behind the counter. She said it added to Lima's aesthetics. "You come in here and don't say hello? What kind of crap is that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Greta. You know I would have but I've got a crazy woman dragging me around." Derek said, tossing a look at Casey.

"It's about time a woman took the control. That's what you need, a dominant woman. No more of these floozies you're always so attracted to." Greta said, approvingly.

Both Derek and Casey blanched. "Greta!" Casey cried. "You know he's my step-brother."

"Beh," Greta said, using her hand to flippantly brush off Casey's words. "So what are you doing here, with each other so late? I've never seen you here after eight and never you without your sidekick, mister Peloski."

"Well, tonight's a special night." Derek said sarcastically.

Greta stared at them silently for a moment before saying, "Use protection." And turning to walk away.

"NO!" Both Derek and Casey cried, causing Greta to turn back around.

"No, no, no, no, no, no." Derek said.

"He meant it's my birthday." Casey said quickly. "Twenty-one. He's going to help me check stuff off on a list I have. Like go to a club and drink alcohol and stuff."

"Ah!" Greta said happily, clapping her free hand against the coffee pot. "Happy birthday, booshka!"

"Thanks, Greta." Casey smiled meekly.

"Here! Free drinks!" Greta said, pouring coke into the glasses on the table. "You make sure she has a great night." She said at Derek.

"What, no ice?" Derek asked, staring at his cup filled with lukewarm soda.

"That's for not saying hi when you came in." Greta said with a knowing smile before walking away.


Derek, who Casey had let drive her car, pulled into a parking garage about a block away from where they were headed. As they got out of the car and started walking Casey asked, "Are you sure this is the club we should go to?"

"It's the most popular one around." Derek said. "I don't get why you're even be worried about the regular club we're going to when you've still got strip and gay on that list of yours. That's when you start worrying about location."

Casey nodded, accepting Derek's answer. They walked in silence the rest of the way. Once they got closer, they could hear the music pouring out of the club. They reached near the front entrance and Casey took in the large silver metal letter cutouts that spelled out Excursion.

"Looks…" Casey said, observing the long line of people who were waiting outside the club's door. "Intense."

Derek surveyed the area and then looked at Casey. "Take off your sweater."

"Excuse me?" Casey asked, subconsciously pulling down the sleeves of her sweater.

"Take it off." Derek demanded, pulling the material at her shoulder up a bit.

"Why?" Casey asked, suspiciously.

"You need to go show the bouncer a little skin." Derek said, and after a moment of contemplation, added, "You should pull down your shirt, too."

"You're crazy!" Casey cried. "No way."

"Want the first club you ever go to not to be a shitty one?" Derek asked and Casey looked at the sidewalk. "Then push those babies out and go over there."

Casey looked up and glared at him but he glared right back so she turned away from him to remove her sweater and adjust her shirt and bra. "I can't believe I'm doing this." She murmured.

Having pulled down her shirt enough to allow ample cleavage viewing she turned around, glared at Derek again, shoving her sweater into his hands, and then strutted over to the bouncer.

"Make papa proud!" Casey heard Derek call after her.

Casey stood herself in front of the bouncer until he looked down and took notice of her.

"Hey." She attempted to purr at him. "It's my birthday and I really want to get in there. Can you do anything about that?"

The bouncer's eyes flicked down to Casey's chest and right back up to her face. "Sorry." He said, "You're barking up the wrong tree with those."

Casey, unsure of what to say stared up at the bouncer for a few seconds before walking away, uncertainly.

"Fail." Derek shook his head at her when she reached him, his arms crossed around his chest.

"He- he said I was barking up the wrong tree with…these." Casey said, gesturing at her chest.

"Oh." Derek said and then after a second, "Ohhh."

"What?" Casey asked.

"Stay here." He said, handing her her sweater.

Casey watched as Derek walked over to the bouncer. Derek said something to the bouncer, who replied. Casey saw Derek laugh, putting his hand on the bouncer's shoulder. A few seconds later Derek lifted his hand and patted the shoulder before pulling back. He gave the bouncer a two finger salute before turning to walk back to Casey.

"Come on, loser." Derek said, nodding his head toward Excursion's entrance.

"Wha-how?" Casey asked.

"You gotta know your audience." Derek shrugged. "Now come on."

Casey began to put her sweater back on but Derek tugged her arm out of it.

"You're embarrassing enough as it is." Derek said, bunching up the sweater and handing her back the ball of fabric. "Let's not make it worse."

Casey followed him into the club, taking note of the way the bouncer smiled at Derek. She shuddered.

Once inside, Casey stopped, totally in awe. The floor was clear with tons of large glittering silver chunks embedded in it. The walls were an iridescent black that had a psychedelic effect that threw her off a little. Bright flashes of lights hit the room all around her, interchanging from strobe light lines to big circular bursts. Bodies passed all around her and through the crowd was a mass of gyrating bodies.

Derek, after realizing that Casey was no longer following him, backtracked and began to push her from behind. "Yeah, yeah. Soak it in. But keep up, will ya?"

He led her far across the large room to where the bar was. The bar top was made of the same thing as the floor.

"Two shots." Derek said to the bartender, leaning against the bar on his elbow. Casey stood in front of him looking very nervous.

"Could you stop twitching like that?" Derek asked. "People are gonna think you're about to have a seizure."

Casey grasped her sweater ball and kept her hands in front of her, trying to stop fidgeting.

"I'm nervous." Casey said, biting her lip. "But really excited!"

The bartender placed the two shots next to Derek. He picked one up and handed it to Casey and then picked up his own.

"Ready?" Derek asked. Casey nodded eagerly. "Alright, one, two, three." At three, Derek downed his shot. Casey hesitated a second or two before bringing the shot to her lips and drinking it. She grimaced and clenched her teeth. "Oh, God." Casey rasped.

"You'll get used to it." Derek assured. "But I think that's where you should leave off for now." He placed some money on the bar.

"I can pay." Casey said as the bartender scooped the bills up.

Derek ignored her. "Okay, we're at a club, you've had a shot. Does that mean we just rush out of here?"

"Uh, no." Casey said decidedly. "We can stay for a little while. It's not even one yet."

"Alright then." Derek said, sliding away from the bar and toward a group of girls covered in more glitter than clothing.

Casey rolled her eyes, leaning against the bar. "Of course." She mumbled.

"Need another shot?" The bartender asked behind her. She turned to face him.

"No thanks." She said.

"You sure?" He asked, wiping out a glass with a cloth.

Casey nodded.

"Alright. Well you should go dance. Just because your friend ditched you doesn't mean you shouldn't go have a good time."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right!" Casey agreed.

"Yeah, I am!" The bartender said enthusiastically, waving the rag at her. "Now you go and dance!"

"I will!" Casey cried. "Thanks!" She tossed her sweater onto a bar stool, then turned and headed into the crowd of people. The bartender chuckled, shaking his head as she went.

Once on the dance floor Casey felt awkward for about five seconds but then she let the music take over. She went to a familiar and comfortable place, moving her body to the beat. She knew how to do this, and she knew how to do this well. She danced, feeling totally carefree, even catching a really good looking guy watching her from across the room. She turned and smiled to herself as she continued to move to the rhythm. The bright lights flashing from the ceiling added to the atmosphere of the room. As she moved she looked around, taking in the people on the upper level of the club, some standing around with drinks in their hands, some swaying with the music, some in the beginning groping stages of hooking up.

Casey spun around and found that the cute guy she'd seen across the room was now only a few people away. He gave her a dazzling smile. Feeling confident, Casey continued to swing her hips and gave him a smile that she hoped would bring him a little closer. Sure enough the guy moved through the crowd until they were a little less than a foot apart.

"Hey." The guy said, nodding at her.

Casey did her best to look at him from under her eyelashes. They moved to the music with each other without touching. Casey lifted her arms fluidly, letting them frame her as they fell. Part way through the song Casey turned and started dancing with her back to him, turning her head to smile at him every so often. After a few more moments of dancing like this Casey felt the guy's chest on her back and feel his breath on her neck and suddenly it was no longer as fun.

"Okay, too close." Casey said loudly, turning her head to look at him, but it hardly made a difference with the music surrounding them.

"What?" The guy shouted. "You like me close?" He smirked, and not in the annoying yet endearing way she'd come to see Derek's. The guy pushed up closer behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Stop it! Stop!" Casey cried, her fingers trying to pull his hands off her but he held his grip while he traveled her body, one hand going up the side of her waist, the other settling on her hip.

Panic really began to set in when the guy started to push her forward, grinding on her to the beat of the music. She continued to struggle against her when he suddenly spun her around so that she was facing him. One of his hands rested on her ass and he leered at her. She thought she heard him murmur, "You like that?"

Casey lifted her hand and slapped him hard across the face. This only seemed to make him more determined as he leaned down and started to nuzzle her neck.

Abruptly, Casey felt herself torn away from the guy so forcefully she stumbled backwards a little but Derek was behind her and he caught her, holding her up with both hands on her upper arms.

"Are you okay?" He yelled into her ear. Wide-eyed with surprise Casey could only manage to shake her head. Derek's jaw tensed up and his eyes went dark.

"Hey, man! What the hell do you think you're doing?" The guy yelled at Derek.

Derek stepped out from behind Casey and stood chest to chest with the guy. "No, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Don't be that hero, cock-blocking asshole." The guy shouted, shoving Derek.

"What'd you think was going to happen, date rapist?" Derek shouted, shoving him back.

The guy narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, hissing. "She wants it. She wants it bad. And I'm gonna give it to her."

Derek's fury seemed to break through like a flood of water through a cracked dam. He pulled his arm back and smashed his fist into the guy's face. People in the club, dancing around them finally seemed to notice the skirmish when the guy hit the floor.

Not hesitating, Derek turned and grabbed Casey's wrist and began to pull her away, heading toward the exit.

"This list thing is turning out to be such a good idea." Derek shouted back at her angrily, plowing on.

"Maybe he was just drunk?" Casey said, desperately trying to find a logical reason for what had just happened.

"He wasn't drunk, Case." Derek said, looking furious while he continued to drag her away from the club. "He was a creep and an asshole who probably would have hurt you."

They had made it to the sidewalk several feet away from the club's entrance. Casey stopped, Derek still gripping her wrist. "If it wasn't for you." She said.

Derek looked at her for several moments. "Yeah. If it wasn't for me." He let his hand travel down her wrist to her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze that lasted a few seconds longer than completely necessary before letting go.

He cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his jacket pocket. "So…what's next on the list?"


I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm not as fond of this one as I am of the first but I still like it a lot, hope you do too! Review and I'll kick the third chapter to you a lot quicker than this one came! :)

-Tarryn