There's No Place Like Home
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, that's CBS. I also don't own The Wizard of Oz, it belongs to Frank L. Baum and MGM/Warner Bros.
Summary: AU fic. While in hiding Emily falls asleep watching The Wizard of Oz and takes a trip there herself.
A/N: This story came to me while watching ABC's Best in Film's The Greatest Movies of Our Time.
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you." Christian Morganstern
After awhile Emily and Reid spotted an apple tree.
"Oh look apples," Emily said walking to a tree to pick off an apple.
The tree grabbed her hand and smacked it.
"Ouch" Emily said.
"What do you think your doing" the mouthy tree said to her.
"Well, we were walking a long way and I was hungry..." Emily said "Wait did you say something?"
Reid walked up next to Emily.
"She was hungry?" the mouthy tree told the girly tree.
"She was hungry!" the second tree said.
"How'd you like it if somebody picked something off of you?" the mouthy tree said.
"Oh boy," Emily told Reid "I keep forgetting I'm not in my world."
"Come along Emily" Reid said "You don't want any of those apples."
"You saying something wrong with my apples?" the mouthy tree said.
"Oh no" Reid said "It's just she doesn't like funny looking apples." Reid said.
"Why you..." the mouthy tree said trying to grab the two.
Reid and Emily got out of their grasps as the trees tossed apples at them.
Emily went to grab the apples on the grass and came upon a tin man.
'Ah, it's that part now' Emily thought as she tapped on the tin man and heard echoes.
"Hey Reid, it's a tin man." Emily told him.
Reid came over and they heard murmurs come from the tin man.
"Did he say something?" Emily asks as he murmurs "He said oil can."
"Oil can what?" Reid asks.
"Oh." Emily said picking up the can. "Where first."
The tin man murmurs.
"He said his mouth." Reid said taking the can and oiling the mouth.
"Oh thank god." the tin man said "I can talk again."
"Oil my arms please" he said as Emily and Reid took turns with the can.
Emily helps lower his arms saying "I didn't hurt you?"
"No, I've been uncomfortable for ages." he said.
"What's your name tin man?" Reid asked.
"Hotch" the tin man said "Who are you two?"
"Emily Prentiss" Emily said.
"Reid" said the scarecrow.
"How did you get like this?" Emily asked
"I went out chopping wood, it started to rain and I rusted solid." Hotch said.
"Oh no." Emily said. "Well, your perfect now."
"Perfect?" Hotch said "Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect."
Emily shrugged and taps on Hotch's tin chest and heared an echo.
Emily gasps while Reid says "Beautiful, what an echo."
"It's empty, they forgot to give me a heart." Hotch said.
"No heart?" Emily and Reid ask.
"No heart." Hotch replies "All hollow."
'Oh, please don't sing' Emily thinks.
Hotch started to walk around and nearly tilted over.
"Oh are you alright?" Emily asks.
"I'm afraid I'm still a little rusty." Hotch said.
Emily looks over at Reid than back at Hotch, "You know, we're off to the Emerald City to see the wizard."
"The wizard?" Hotch said.
"And we were wondering if you'd like to come with us to ask the wizard for a heart?" Emily asked.
"Well, what if the wizard doesn't want to give me one, when we get there?" Hotch asked.
"But he must. He will, we've come such along way." Emily said.
They hear Strauss cackle and turn around to see her on an abandoned house.
"You think that's long?" Strauss said "You haven't begun."
Strauss glares at Emily's two companions.
"Helping the lady along are you, gentlemen?" Strauss said. "Stay away from her if you know what's good for you."
Strauss throws a fireball at Reid, and vanishes as Hotch helps put the fire out.
"I'm not afraid of her" Reid said "I'll go with you to see the wizard whether I get a brain or not."
"I'll see you to the wizard too," Hotch said "I don't like that old witch."
Emily smiles at the two.
"You two are the best friend anyone could have" Emily said "And it's funny, it's like I've known you both for along time. But I haven't have I?"
"I don't see how" Reid said "You weren't around when I was placed on that farm, where you?"
Emily shook her head as Hotch said "And you weren't there when they forgot my heart, right?"
"No," Emily said "Still I wish I could remembered, but I guess it's not important."
"And we know each other now." Hotch said smiling at Emily.
"We do." Reid said "Let's go see the wizard of oz."
The three walk off down the yellow brick road.
The three get a nervous as the woods become darker and a lot less friendly looking.
"This part of the forest doesn't seem as friendly looking as the others," Reid says.
"We might meet some wild animals in these woods," Hotch said.
"Animals that eat straw?" Reid asked nervously.
"Some, but mostly lions and tigers and bears." Hotch said holding his axe close to him.
"Lions?" Emily asked.
"And tigers?" Reid asked
"And bears." Hotch said.
'Oh crap' Emily thinks.
The three huddle together while going through the forest.
They hear a roar from a lion, who jumps out causing the three to separate.
"Come on, which one of you wants it first?" the lion asked.
"How about you teach him a lesson, Hotch?" Reid asks.
"Well, I hardly know him. What about you Reid?" Hotch asks.
"Come on you lopsided bag of hay." The lion said.
The lion goes after Reid who's on the ground which angers Emily.
"Hey!" Emily said smacking the lion on the nose who starts crying.
"What you do that for?" the lion asked "I wasn't going to hurt him."
"Serves you right for picking on people smaller than you." Emily said.
"Well you didn't have to go and hit me." The lion said "Am I bleeding?"
"Of course not." Emily said "God your making a big fuss over nothing."
The lion sobs and Emily said "Your acting like an old coward."
"I am a coward, I even scare myself." Dave the lion said. "I don't have any courage."
"No courage?" Emily asked "You got circles under your eyes."
"I haven't slept in weeks." Dave said.
"Why not count sheep?" Hotch asked.
"That won't help, I'm afraid of them." Dave said sobbing.
"That's so sad" Reid said "Don't you think the wizard could help him too?"
"I suppose so." Emily said. "You want to come with us to see the wizard?"
"Wizard?" Dave asked.
"Yeah to get him a heart and him a brain." Emily said.
"If it wouldn't disgrace you to be seen with such a coward." Dave said.
"Of course not." Emily said wiping Dave's eyes. "The wizard can fix anything."
The three walk with there new friend down the brick road again.
"Look Emerald City," Emily said pointing "We're almost there."
"Damn" Strauss said looking at her crystal ball "The got there. Well two can play that game."
Strauss took her broom and flew out the window.
Emily and her friends approached the gated green Emerald City doors.
Emily rang on the bell and the door opened to a dark man.
"Who rang the bell?" Morgan asked.
"We did" said the four friends.
"Can't any of you read?" Morgan asked.
"Read what?" Hotch asked.
"The sign," Morgan said in a tone of duh.
"What sign?" Reid asked.
"On the door, kid." Morgan said "It's right..."
Morgan saw that no sign was there and said, "Wait a minute" and put the sign out.
"There" Morgan said and slammed the door.
"Bell out of order, so knock." Emily read.
Emily looked at the trio and shrugged and knocked.
"Now that is more like it." Morgan said "Now what?"
"We want to see the wizard" Dave said.
"The wizard?" Morgan said "But no one is allowed to see the great one."
Looking at the group "Even I haven't seen the great one." Morgan said.
"Well, then" Emily said "How do you know there is one?"
"Because I... oh your wasting my time" Morgan said.
"Oh please, sir" Emily said "I've got to see him. JJ, the good witch of the north, sent me."
"She did?" Morgan said skeptically "Prove it."
"She's wearing the ruby slippers" Reid said pointing to Emily's feet.
"Well kid, why didn't you say so." Morgan said "Come on in."
Morgan opened up the gates and the four walked into a wonderful colorful world.
After being lead in they walked to the wizard's palace, and were interrupted by the witch.
"Surrender, Emily. Give me back my slippers." Is the message sent to Emily.
To Be Continued...
