Here's the (overdue) update! Time flies. This chapter is a bit longer. Author notes at the bottom!
Can I see a falling tear,
And not feel my sorrow's share?
Can a father see his child
Weep, nor be with sorrow filled?
Can a mother sit and hear
An infant groan, an infant fear?
No, no! Never can it be!
Never, never can it be!
-William Frost
Anna rode as fast as she dared through the snowy gloom, thoughts focused on her sister instead of the biting cold. She really regretted not grabbing a better coat. Everything was quiet except for the panting of her horse and it's muted steps in the snow. She'd never been this far in the woods-she'd never really been in the woods at all, come to think of it-and it took all Anna's skill to avoid hanging tree limbs and half-buried rocks as she forged ahead towards she could only hope her sister had fled. After a few minutes they reached a small clearing, and Anna pulled on the reins. Cocoa obeyed quickly, grateful for the brief rest. The shivering princess swiveled her head back and forth to get her bearings, breath fogging in the air. And...there! In the distance was the solemn gray mass of Elsa's mountain. Well, it wasn't really Elsa's mountain, but Anna distinctly remembered Elsa saying something when they were kids about that mountain being her favorite because it was tallest (or something like that), so it might as well be Elsa's mountain. It had to be, really. If Elsa hadn't gone there, she had no idea where to look next. Anna sneezed.
"I felt something at the coronation ball, Cocoa," Anna rubbed her arms as she stared at Elsa's mountain. "Elsa talked to me. Maybe she doesn't hate me-or, at least it didn't seem like she hates me, maybe she was pretending, I guess it would be hard to know, since, y'know, we haven't exactly talked much, but it didn't feel like she was. So we're going to find her, Cocoa." Anna smiled and patted the fjord horse's neck. "And we'll figure out what's going on." She pulled her cloak tighter and urged the horse forward towards the mountain.
"Iduna."
Agnarr stood rigidly in the doorway, eyes fixed on his wife. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, and his brow creased with worry. The Queen rose immediately from the desk she'd been reading at. She'd learned long ago those particular expressions of her husband meant thinly controlled emotion-and only one person these days was capable of causing such a reaction.
"Gerda, prepare some tea. Quickly." The tall, thin woman behind her curtsied and left the room.
Iduna followed her husband out of the room and into the corridor. He was already several paces ahead, fueled by nervous energy. His light brown hair glowed amber as the light of the setting sun filtered through the glass windows and bathed the hallway in fiery orange. Their lengthened black shadows trailed silently behind them.
"What upset her this time? And where is Anna?" Iduna questioned, half running to keep up with the long strides of her husband. The two exited the window-lined hallway into the deeper parts of the castle, and the light dimmed. They reached the staircase, and the King took the steps three at a time.
"I've already sent Kai to occupy Anna in the gardens," he finally answered, "I don't know what upset her this time. I tried talking to her but she refused to open the door no matter what I said." His voice was pained. "I left to get you when I noticed frost spreading onto the hall carpet."
Iduna bit her lip. This sounded worse than normal. The pair rushed the remaining way without speaking, their footsteps echoing grimly against walls that suddenly looked far too barren.
The Queen's fears were confirmed the moment she and Agnarr reached Elsa's room. The painted wooden door was cool to the touch, and a thin sheet of ice coated the edges. Frost had crept several feet across the hall. After a moment of hesitation, Iduna stepped forward and knocked softly. The King stood a bit behind his wife, frustration evident in his features as his eyes flit back and forth between the door and the Queen.
"Elsa? Elsa, it's your mother. What's wrong?" Iduna winced at how loud her voice sounded in the empty hallway.
Their daughter remained silent.
Iduna knocked again, louder this time. "Elsa, I want to help. Your father and I both want to help you, dear. Please let us in. Gerda is making your favorite tea." The last part was spoken with half-hearted hope.
Iduna heard the faintest patter of feet (and was that a sniffle?), but the door remained closed. She knelt to peer through the keyhole only to find it blocked with ice.
"Elsa, please."
When Elsa still did not respond, the Queen looked at her husband in exasperation.
"Don't look at me like that, I don't know what else to say either! I've tried everything!" Agnarr whispered.
"But we can't leave her like this." Idun mouthed back.
"And what do you suggest?!"
"I don't know!"
Agnarr opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head. His shoulders sagged and he pinched the bridge of his nose, as his forehead wrinkled in thought. After a long moment he stepped forward. He rested his right hand on one of the wood panels and knocked loudly with his left. The left hand fell back to his side, but the other remained pressed against the wood, as if stabilizing him. When Agnarr spoke his speech was slow and halting.
"Elsa...darling…I know things have been...difficult." The King stared blankly at the purple designs on the door. His chest rose and fell slowly. "And I know that...that we haven't been able to...do as much for you as I-we all hoped. But please let us try to do what we can when things like this happen. We care very much for you Elsa. Please believe me when I say your mother and I are trying our best. We...we hate seeing you unhappy."
The couple stood in the silent hallway, waiting. Just as frost began creeping up the toes of Agnarr's boots, the door unbolted with a soft click. The frozen handle turned slowly, ice falling out of the lock, and the door opened just enough to reveal an eleven-year old Elsa, her eyes rimmed red. The princess retreated back into the room before either parent could say anything, though the door was left ajar-a sign which both parents understood as permission to enter. Agnarr entered the room promptly, but Iduna paused when she noticed movement in her periphery. She turned to see a red-faced Gerda hurrying towards her with the tea. Iduna quietly thanked the woman as she took the tray, and sent her to help Kai entertain Anna. He'd need the help-that child never ran out of energy. Iduna firmly gripped the edges of the tray and entered Elsa's room.
The first thing she noticed, as usual, was the temperature. The wall of cold hit her the moment she entered, making her cough involuntarily when the frigid air hit her lungs. She could see the wispy clouds of her breath when she exhaled, and immediately regretted forgetting to grab her coat.
Agnarr was sitting next to their daughter on the edge of the bed. Neither were speaking. The Queen set the tray on a small table near the nightstand, and prepared Elsa's tea. The glass cup clinked slightly against the plate when Iduna offered it to Elsa.
"Careful. It's still hot," she murmured as the child took the steaming cup. Though in this cold, who knows how long it'd stay that way.
Iduna caught her husband's attention and gestured towards the extra tea cups. Agnarr shook his head. Iduna pursed her lips, amused despite the situation. Ever the firm believer in coffee, that man was. Iduna gracefully sat in one of the painted chairs and made her own cup as she tried to figure out what to say to the child. When finished, she took a small sip before resting the cup on her lap to warm her hands.
Surprisingly, it was Elsa who spoke first.
"I had another dream," she mumbled. Her voice, still tinged with the lilt of childhood, sounded more vulnerable than ever.
Her father leaned forward to look his daughter in the eyes. Elsa tensed, but didn't move away.
"Is...is there anything we can do to help you? Do you think you could tell us what you dreamed about?"
Elsa hesitated before nodding. Steam no longer drifted up from the cup in her hands.
"I was being chased. I was running as fast as I could, Papa, fast like the wind. It was snowing really hard so I couldn't see what I was running from, but I knew it was there. The fjord was frozen, and I kept running and running across, but then the ice started cracking. I saw you and Mama, and I ran to you, and it took forever because I kept slipping, but when I-"
Elsa stopped, her breathing starting to quicken. Ice began forming on the edges of the tea cup.
"Elsa if you don't want to tell us you don-" Iduna started.
"When I got to you Papa," Elsa interrupted, "you were stone! And you were stone too, Mama!" Elsa spoke quickly now, her voice stained with growing panic and lowered to barely more than a whisper. "And you both looked so sad. And then the ice broke and you were both sinking, and I tried grab you but you were too heavy. And then the ice re-froze all clouded so I couldn't see you, and no matter how hard I hit the ice and yelled, it didn't break!" Tears starting falling down Elsa's cheeks. Alarmed at their child's rapid deterioration, both parents tried to console her, but the princess continued as if they didn't exist. "And then I looked up, and there was Anna. She was calling for me so I ran to her, but when I touched her-" Elsa's voice was shrill, "she froze! She looked so scared! Of me! And then she melted and all the ice around me turned red, and then it cracked and I fell in the water. I kept trying to get out-it was so cold-but the ice was too slippery and I couldn't hold on. The ice broke more and my head went underwater, and then the ice froze again above me-I tried hitting it but it wouldn't break! Papa it was dark! It was dark and cold, and I couldn't breathe! The next time I hit the ice it clouded up, and I couldn't move my arms or legs anymore! The red went away and I just sank down and down in the dark and the ice got farther and farther and farther and I tried to scream but then the water rushed in and-DON'T TOUCH ME!"
A haphazard blast of ice and cold pulsed from the child's body as she recoiled from the touch of her father's hand on her shoulder. The edge of it clipped Iduna and the table, sending her sprawling onto the floor in a mess of tea, but the brunt of the force slammed squarely into the King, throwing him clear across the room. His body thudded against the back wall and his head slammed back with a crack into the hanging mirror, shattering it, before slumping to the ground. The room fell into shocked silence. The icy mist surrounding the prone form of the King dissipated slowly, leaving only scattered chunks of ice and shards of glass. Elsa looked horrified.
"...Agnarr!" Iduna shrieked and stumbled to her husband, her thoughts flickering back to the incident with Anna. She frantically mumbled her husband's name over and over as she felt the back of his head for blood. There was a bump, and a couple minor cuts on his face from the glass, but a blonde streak like Anna's was nowhere to be seen. The door to Elsa's room burst open, and the handmaiden bustled in with a broom held high. The servant's eyes widened, and she immediately flew to the Queen's side just as Agnarr began moving.
"Your majesty, wh-"
"Get Kai," Iduna ordered. The handmaiden turned around instantly and flew out of the room with the briefest 'Yes, m'lady.'
Iduna glanced at her left hand. It was a terrible, splotchy red, and sensitive. A burn. Wet, yellow-brown stains soaked her sleeve and torso. Iduna vaguely remembered feeling heat when she'd fallen-the teapot must have spilled on her. Now that she was aware of the injury, it throbbed painfully. The Queen tried to ignore the pain and quell her racing heart as held one of her husband's hands and ran trembling fingers through his mussed up hair, half-expecting a streak of blonde to appear at any moment. Agnarr blinked slowly, his eyes unfocused. His breaths were uneven as his body tried to recover from the impact. He'd noticeably began shivering. A small noise behind Iduna made her jump. Elsa had slid down from her bed to lean against the bedpost, white-knuckled hands clutching the wood as she stared with wide eyes at her parents. Iduna tried to muster a smile, but was too unnerved for it to be convincing.
"It's all right, Elsa...h-he'll be fine." Her voice wavered on the last word, and if she wasn't a queen she might have let the tears slip. Elsa was obviously unconvinced, but before she could speak again, Agnarr moved beneath her hands.
"Agnarr?" Iduna whispered. Her husband's face twisted in a grimace. Still too winded to speak, the King lifted a hand to rub at his temple and tried to push himself up. Iduna pushed him back down when his weight-bearing arm shook precariously. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Elsa move towards them, and irrational fear flooded her mind with panic.
"Elsa, stop!"
Elsa recoiled as if she'd been burned.
Iduna immediately regretted her outburst. "Oh...Elsa, I...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean...n-not like that, sweetie, just...would you mind helping with the china?"
The princess kneeled dejectedly next to the broken dishware right as the bedroom doors flew open.
"Your Majesties!" Kai's voice boomed as he bounded into the room with Gerda and the handmaiden at his heels. He was at the King's side in two giant steps. Gerda knelt next to Elsa, who was hugging her knees to her chest.
"I'm...I'm fine." The King managed to wheeze as Kai and Iduna helped him slowly get to his feet. He was unbalanced, and leaned against Kai heavily. The stout servant frowned.
"I must respectfully disagree, Your Highness. Please allow me to escort you to your room. You need rest." The Queen traded places with the other handmaiden, and watched as the pair helped Agnarr limp from the room.
Gerda was speaking to the princess, her aged face wearing compassion, worry, and trepidation. There was several hand's widths between the two of them, and Gerda showed no signs of moving closer. After a motion from Iduna, the older woman retreated to hover by the door, ready to help if needed. Elsa noticed her mother's gaze and looked away.
"I-I'm sorry, Mama." Traitorous tears slipped down Elsa's cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Papa. I don't want to hurt anyone-"
Elsa's voice faltered when her mother took hold of her hands. Iduna squeezed gently, and fixed her daughter with a compassionate but firm stare.
"Elsa, I need you to listen to me."
"But Mama-"
"No, Elsa, listen. I need you to know you are not a bad person. You are not a bad person. Your father and I hold nothing against you for what just happened. Or for anything related to your powers. We all just...need to make sure we're being careful with our emotions, so those powers don't get too strong, or get out of hand, alright? We will never be scared of you, darling. But...when your powers get too strong, it can be hard to deal with. That's why we closed the gates, remember?"
Elsa nodded.
"We just have to learn how to control it, and your father and I are trying as hard as we can to find ways to help you do that. Please remember we're here for you, and we want to help, for as long as you need it. You're the bravest little girl I know, Elsa, and we're so proud of you. You just have to keep being brave, okay?"
Elsa pulled her hands away to wipe at her eyes. She hugged her arms over her chest and looked away. "Can you and Papa hurry?"
The light filtering in from the window gleamed on the edges of the broken china strewn across the floor. Elsa's cup had dropped by the foot of the bed. A jagged crack ran down its side, splitting the intricate flower design in two. The tea within was frozen solid.
"Of course, sweetie. Of course."
Thanks for reading! Remember to leave a review! 3
Notes:
-Forgetting to grab proper clothing must run in the family. Like mother, like daughter.
-I always found it odd that Anna knew EXACTLY where Elsa went. Like, you see how many mountains there are? So I think it's possible that the mountain Elsa went to was mentioned somehow previous to the movie's events.
-I never liked how some people think the King and Queen were abusive parents. I can't imagine how stressful being in that situation would be, and based on the movie, I really think they had both daughter's best interests at heart. I think their side of the story is equally important, so there will be some timeline jumping.
-By the events of the movie, we know that Elsa can lose control of her powers if she is in emotional distress. I wouldn't be surprised if similar instances of Elsa losing control happened in the first few years after Anna's accident. Suddenly thinking her powers as a curse rather than a blessing would no doubt be upsetting to a child, so I imagine the adjustment would have been a little bumpy. It would also help explain why Elsa was terrified of hurting people to the point where she didn't want to be touched at all.
I'm hoping to be more consistent with updating, maybe once a week since I'll be a full time student and working.
watertribewolf: I know, I'm finally getting around to it, now that interest in the fandom has cooled. :'D Typical me Haha. I'm tempted to write some fics for Voltron Legendary Defender though, I'm obsessed with that show. You should definitely post things even if you have to combine stuff to make it longer. I'd love to see what kind of stuff you write!
snow universe: Thanks for reading!
Smurfette101: Thank you for the kind words! I agree with you that a friendship seems a bit more suited to Elsa and Jack than romance based on their canon personalities, hopefully I can do the thought justice. Glad you enjoyed the first chapter, I hope you enjoy upcoming chapters as well! :)
