Chapter 2: Nobody Likes You Mary Sue!
"Day fifty-eight of the year two-thousand and thirteen," the Universal-Mary-Sue breathed into her tape recorder. Mary Sue had an unusual power. She could shape-shift into perfect characters! From Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way to EpicSexyHotCoolAwesomeHottiePerfectGirl, she had a wide range of talents. And she used those talents to torture all teenage superhero teams of five by stealing random members of their teams in marriage. And the team of five in this case was none other than the Titans.
"Hey dudes! There's some creepy stalker chick suction-cupped to our window." The green changeling stared at the fifteen year old girl suction-cupped to their window. Her hair was hanging down provocatively and her face was frozen in a creepy half smirk. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of blinking.
"I'm not a creepy stalker chick! I'm-" There was a shimmer of light. It blinded half of the planet as Universal-Mary-Sue transformed in a Sailor Moon likeness. "PerfectSexyAwesomeAmazingHotEpicCoolPrettyGirl!" A new likeness overcame her. Her short, dull hair lengthened into shiny, magestical unicorn Skittle hair that blew in the wind. Her average skin turned into flawless skin, no pimples or any signs of oil. She grew about five inches, magically transforming her into the perfect model height. She lost any imperfect body traits.
"PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZINGHOTEPICPRETTYGIRL!" Beast Boy's eyes shone with love.
"Yes, it is I! But I wouldn't want to…steal you away from Raven." She flipped her hair provocatively.
"Nonsense! I never liked Raven and my heart only beats for you!" Beast Boy groveled, kneeling down on one knee and pulling out a small, velvet box.
"Oh no you don't!" They turned their heads to see Robin, the Boy Wonder, balling up his fists.
"Robin the Boy Wonder?" yelled both PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZING- and Beast Boy. Robin ran over to the pair, kneeling down next to Beast Boy.
"Oh fair maiden! Even though I only laid eyes on you a mere millisecond ago, I love you. And I want to change your last name!" And he too whipped out a velvet box from his pocket. PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZING put a hand on her forehead, her eyes rolling back in her head.
"However shall I choose?"
"Choose me!" "No me!" "He's ugly!" "Yeah; well you're green!" "That's racist you ignorant jerk!"
"BOYS!" yelled PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZING. They turned to her, love filled in their faces.
"Yes my love?" They said in unison.
"I choose-" Suddenly a black raven appeared in the room, crowing and squawking loudly.
"What are you idiots doing?" The dark empath groaned, surveying the screen.
"Proposing." Robin and Beast Boy said robotically.
"To who?" They pointed to PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZING, who was tapping her foot impatiently and crossing her arms over her chest.
"Uh, me. Now shut up so I can choose my husband." Raven scowled and shook her head. Using her mystical powers, she shortened this chapter about thirty words.
"What? No! I'm just about to choose my husband!"
"Too bad." And PERFECTSEXYAWESOMEAMAZING turned back into plain old Mary Sue, crying and gasping for breath as she was transported from this dimension.
I ran out of budgeting to type the whole thing. Review and Favorite. Grammar Nazis and Flamers welcome.
