The Quest of the Banana!

Book 1: Whoa! What the Heck is That?

Chapter 2

Thranduil looked out the window. "Why is it that when people picture me, I'm old looking?"

"Because you're.. old?" said Xylia.

"Yes, but you see, us elves don't age."

"Speak for yourself, I am an ELBIT!"

"ANYWAY, we only become more attractive as we grow."

"Does that mean your more attractive than Legolas?"

"Sure."

"But one question."

"What's that?"

"What happened to Elrond?"

"Either something went terribly wrong, or he was one ugly elf baby."

"But he looks nice in pink."

"True."

Just then, there was this uber-random voice. "Mr. Stickley likes fish!"

Everybody sat down and had some pizza, because everybody knows the saying "why would I have sanity, when I can have pizza instead?"

"Wanna go bungee jumping?" asked Näkuri.

"Sure!" said Xylia.

"Meep." Said Frodo.

"You rang?" said Meep.

"Nice sock ya got there." Said Pippin.

"He is a monkey!" said Meep, covering the stuffed sock's "ears". "You'll hurt his feelings!"

"I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry!" said pippin.

"POTATOES!" yelled Sam.

"That was SO random" said Merry.

"Duh." Said Aragorn.

Then Näkuri and Xylia bungeed off a cliff.

"Finally! I am rid of the fangirl!" said Legolas.

"Yeah. Same here." Said Pippin.

"You're supposed to love me, NOW ACT LIKE IT!" said Xylia to Pippin.

"Ditto, Legolas!" said Näkuri.

Then all of a sudden, Legolas fangirl #489721394 said "What's. . . that. . . . word. . . . again. . . .?"

"Um. . . . hi?" said Sofia.

"Right. Hi! Legolas!" said fangirl #489721394

"Um . . . . hi?" said Legolas.

"He said hi! I am yours forever!" said the fangirl.

Legolas got scared. Sofia punched her. The fangirl went away.

Just then, Sauron randomly walked in. "Sofia, I am your father!"

"Cool beans!" said Cordelia.

"No wonder he hates elves." Said Xylia.

"I refuse to be called ugly! I am a que-king!" said Elrond.

"Little slow, huh?" said Näkuri.

"Quiet! He will hear you!" said Meep.

"Hello? Evil dark lord here!" said Sauron.

"Sheesh. You should be known as he-with-big-ego." Said Xylia.

"Hurtfulness!" said Sauron, then he left.

"Que-king here!" said Elrond.

"Shut up, half-elf", said Thranduil.

Then they all went to destroy the ring. Randomly.

"I'm going to eeeeeaaaaaasssssssseeeeee myself into a cchhhhheeeeeeetoooooo" said Brooke. Then they all sat down to have elvish parsley. Then there was this giant spider.

"MUAHAHAHA!" he/she said.

"Hi, Shelob." Said Näkuri.

"I am ARAGOG!" he said.

"From Harry Potter?" asked Xylia.

"Yes." He said.

"Studio's that way." Said Legolas. He pointed left.

"Thanks." And Aragog left.

Then Galadriel stepped up and let everyone look in her mirror for no reason.

"Hey!" said Xylia. "Since we started in Mirkwood, we can totally skip everything until . . . . . . Lothlórien!"

"I don't want to go destroy a ring." Said Cordelia.

So they decided to eat some grapes instead.